The great Santa debate...

[PA Princess]

This was a subject that dh and I discussed a good deal before and after we had our first child. It was not an easy decision for us. We both grew up with Santa, but neither of us grew up in a home where faith played a part. I so did not want to appear that I was judging anyone by our decision (similar to the reaction some have expressed in this thread), but at the same time I really wrestled with what the right thing was for us to do.

I love fantasy and the innocence of childhood and I desire for my children to experience and enjoy those things. However, I wanted to be able to look my child in the eye and say that God and Jesus are real and have there never be any reason for him or her to doubt what I was saying. For me it seemed to send contradictory messages to say yes Santa is real and then later admit he was not real, but try to maintain that God has always been real. Perhaps this is applying adult logic to a child, but I was just not comfortable with that route and dh agreed.

We do not do Santa, tooth fairy, Easter bunny, etc and we have never told our kids that any fictional characters are real (we have 4 ages 2,
7, 12, and 13), but they all still love fantasy and play and the fun of it all. They all enjoy characters at WDW, etc. The three oldest spent an hour yesterday debating what to name our Christmas tree this year (an annual tradition) - they get and relish fantasy

Our decision was totally out of the box for our family and many of our friends. My mom especially was totally convinced that Christmas would be forever ruined by our decision, and today she would be the first to tell you how wrong she was.

OP, I hope you are able to make a decision that best suits your family and that will bring you peace.

 

[sahm1000]

Both of my children (ages 2 and 4) are being raised as Christians and to believe in Santa. The girls both go to a Christian school and fully understand that this holiday is about Jesus' birth. They even understand that Jesus died on a cross for them (although I could do w/o this though...). I also use the three gifts from Santa for my girls although they get far more, the rest are from Mom and Dad, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles. I actually never really thought about it symbolizing the gifts that the wisemen brought but it just seemed like a good number for me. My whole reason on limiting the number of gifts from Santa is how do you explain why some children don't get as many presents as others? I lived in a very economically diverse community growing up and I was quite fortunate and remember thinking why didn't Santa give some of my other classmates as many gifts as I got. It actually kind of confused me so this was my method for making sure my girls weren't confused.

Santa is a wonderful story. Even as an adult who knows that there isn't an actual person out there coming down the chimney I want to believe with all of my heart. We used to live in Kansas City and there was a gentleman there who gave out millions (yes, millions) of his own money over many Christmas's to needy families. He died last year but left his money in a trust to continue this work and named other "Santa's" to carry it out. So maybe there isn't a real man with a red suit out there, but there are so many who have the spirit that I believe.

 

[Momvic5]

In our Christian home, we have chosen to celebrate Jesus although we do include most of the traditions of Santa. It is hard not too. It is a tradition we all know and love. In my home that is exactly what we have made Santa, a tradition. My kids know Santa is fictional, but we still watch all the movies and have all the fun associated with him. They still enjoy seeing him around the mall and Disney World. We just remember what is real and what is fictional. No magic is lost. Santa (like Disney World) is magical and fun because we often represent him in that way, but celebrating Jesus can be just as magical and fun too. Celebrate Him in the same way ~ with excitement, family, movies, hot cocoa and cookies, Christmas trees, crafts, singing, gift giving, countdown calendars, and everything that makes this time of year special. Celebrate Christmas with all the zeal of Santa for Jesus. In my family, Santa is the fun tradition that we remember and enjoy but not celebrate. Santa is short lived for most of us, but Jesus is a lifetime.

Think about your Christmas memories for a moment. Santa usually isn't our fondest memory. Our fondest memories usually include our families, our friends, our faith, the food we loved, our traditions, places we visited, or a special gift we received. Santa is usually in the background somewhere. So if your Christmas includes Santa great. And if you chose to exclude Santa, it doesn't mean your Christmas is less merry and magical. You and your family make Christmas memoriable and magic not Santa.

 

[shelly3girls]

We never really told our kids that Santa was real. We went along with it for fun and we enjoyed the "magic" of Christmas. Christmas has always been about Christ, we never let the focus be anything else. Once DD8 asked me point blank (when she was 6), I asked her what she thought. After our conversation DD tells me that she likes to pretend to believe b/c it is fun especially watching her younger siblings get so excited. I really don't think there was any harm in allowing them some fun. My younger DD tells me about kids who don't believe. She asked me if Santa is real and again I asked her what she thought. Her response was that she wanted to believe. I left it at that and realize that we will probably revisit this topic next year.

 

[Jacklynn]

I want to start by saying, my husband has a youth ministry degree and I have a children's ministry degree, so we are both Christians and in the ministry. Also Christ wasn't actually born in the winter, and it was picked because there was a major pagan holiday around December 25th, so Christians wanted to counteract that... so it is more like a symbol of celebrating His birth... but I assume most people know that, but I guess maybe people don't, maybe more should.

I grew up beliving in Santa, the Easter Bunny Tooth fairy you name it... I LOVED IT. Christmas has always been such a fun time for me. I did not grow up in a Christian family, but I still knew what Christmas was suppose to be about. Now that I am an adult and am strong in my beliefs, when my husband and I have children they will be told about a Santa who brings them presents. Maybe Santa brings them presents because that is his way of showing Christ's love?

If you start saying that Santa is the biggest part of the holiday then something is wrong but
It's by no means a sin to have your children believe in Santa. I am so grateful that I got to have the 'santa' experience as a child, I would never want to rob that from my children. They will know of Jesus and understand why we are celebrating, but I won't take the joys of Santa away from them just because we are celebrating Jesus' birth, its not one or the other, instead its celebrating Jesus' birth at the same time a big jolly man is bringing them gifts... like I said maybe because that is how he wants to show Christ's love by sharing, or because Christ was a gift to us, so Santa wanted to give to all to further explain the act of giving.... who knows, but it doesn't have to be one or the other.... Christ is the main aspect, but Santa doesn't take away from that unless you let it...

Just my 2 cents!

 

[lori123]

DH and I went through our own discussion over Santa. We have decided to go with it - but if the kids ask us point blank if he is real - we will not lie to them. We want them to have fun with it - and when they do "find out" we will ask them if they want to "play the game". I don't want them to figure out we lied to them about Santa and wonder about their faith in a God they can't see.

I have Christian friends that have taken the no santa stand, the all santa stand and some fell somewhere in the middle - all those decisions were the best for their family - as will be for yours for your family.

 

[tonilea]

HOLD THE PHONE>>>>> MICKEY IS FICTIONAL??????!!!!

CRAP! Now, I feel like the mean kid on the school bus.


It's not that I want to remove Santa from Christmas. I don't, anymore than I want to remove Mickey from Disney World. Santa is great fun. I am really concerned with telling him to believe in something that isn't real and then expecting him to believe whatever else I tell him.

I am not trying to judge anyone. Only figure out what is best for our family. I was looking for other opinions, since DH and I obviously disagee.

 

[december]

What you asked is fine. Everyone has to decide what works best for your household. What continues to upset me is the word LIE that is constantly used. It is not a LIE. I believe with all my heart in the magic and wonderfullness of Santa, even though I'm the one trying to figure out how to pay for it! No one told my daughter that the Cinderella she was meeting last year (or this year) was the REAL one, but that is what she chooses to believe. I'm not LYING by letting her experience that magic either.

Again, do what is best for you, but do it in a way that won't interfere with any other children's beliefs.

Whether the other posters meant it to be or not, using the word lie is judging other families and saying that your way is the only right way. That gets us into trouble in so many ways, and not just with Santa!

My kids (again-10 and 8) brought me their Santa letters last night. It is magical to me, and I don't even want to think of a time when that part of our lives is over. I hope they do it until college!

 

[PrincessWendyBird]

What you asked is fine. Everyone has to decide what works best for your household. What continues to upset me is the word LIE that is constantly used. It is not a LIE. I believe with all my heart in the magic and wonderfullness of Santa, even though I'm the one trying to figure out how to pay for it! No one told my daughter that the Cinderella she was meeting last year (or this year) was the REAL one, but that is what she chooses to believe. I'm not LYING by letting her experience that magic either.

Again, do what is best for you, but do it in a way that won't interfere with any other children's beliefs.

Whether the other posters meant it to be or not, using the word lie is judging other families and saying that your way is the only right way. That gets us into trouble in so many ways, and not just with Santa!

My kids (again-10 and 8) brought me their Santa letters last night. It is magical to me, and I don't even want to think of a time when that part of our lives is over. I hope they do it until college!

december, I agree with you on this! Our children are 10 and 7 and both still believe in Santa. We homeschool, so we haven't really had to worry too much about a classmate "spilling the beans". We are Christians and always focus on Christ as the center of the Christmas holiday. My kids are more innocent and I am so thankful for the magic they have experienced with Santa.
I do not view it as a "lie", but something to make Christmas even more magical. Someone mentioned being concerned with their children doubting the existence of God/Jesus because of the Santa experience. I really don't worry about that. My kids have grown up with Christ intertwined into their entire life, not just once a year. They have had their own personal experiences and relationship with Christ. When the time comes for us to explain about Santa, we will talk about the real St. Nicholas and also about our love in trying to bring a little more magic to an already wonderful holiday!
In the end, you need to do what is best for your family and do what God calls you to do. For some it is no Santa and for others it means including him in the Christmas celebration.

 

[DawnM]

We are total realists here at our house....Santa is pure fiction, as is the toothfairy and the Easter Bunny.

We have a wonderful book called, Santa, are you for real? It is the true story of St. Nicholas who was the real person behind the Santa tradition.

Dawn

 

[MSSANDRA]

We are a christian family that found a way to fit Santa into our celebration of Christ's birth. Santa has always been a small part of all the activities and not the total focus. We told DS from toddlerhood that santa brings gifts to children on Christmas. We NEVER said he was real or pretend and DS never really asked. I did know however, if he asked point blank, I would tell him the truth. DS never believed in the EAster bunny or tooth fairy or that the characters at wdw were real though we played the games. He was just this VERY practical kid that said" NO way is that real". He did however believe in Santa and we had a blast with it. We also told him Santa brought gifts to children to celebrate the birthday of baby Jesus. We did not link good behavior to Santa and never told him parents had to pay for the gifts as many parents did. We also knew there would be time we wanted to be open about Santa and that happened around 9. We KNEW DS knew the truth but he had a friend that year that was in a single parent home and was getting only ONE gift. He made the comment that if he was good, Santa would bring him gifts. He really was not a very "good" kid but that was not the reason he did not get Santa gifts. We waited till after Chirstmas and them talked out the whole Santa thing. Seems he had known since about 1st grade but really was a little upset I had said it out loud. We never really changed any of our traditions that included Santa but the whole focus of Christmas seemed a little more Christ centered and the next Christmas was one of the best we ever had.


Most of our friends did Santa though I do have a friend that still feels trauma from the "lies" her parents told her about Santa and she did not do Santa with her child. As a child she asked point blank about the truth and her parents would not allow her not to believe. We also have friends that told their children that Jesus brought the toys and I did not like that one at all though those kids turned out fine too!!!!!!

Looking back, (DS is 15) I guess I am glad we did Santa but I can certainly understand the choice not to do so.

Prayers that OP finds what works for your family.

 

[peyton18]

We're Christian & our kids do / used to believe in Santa. The oldest are 13 & 9 & just figured it out after a while. It would be kind of hard to fly to every house in the world & deliver presents in just one night. They also knew some kids didn't get anything & if Santa were real, he wouldn't leave anyone out. They do a very good job of playing the game for our 5 year old though. Oh, they weren't devastated - more just a "That stinks!"

 

[Principessa1284]

Um.. I'm nearly 23, and my parents still insist that Santa exists.. I was never really told otherwise. It's still a fun tradition to have every year. When I was younger, there were a few times another kid in the class had said something about him not exisiting, and I always said that he/she hadn't been good enough that year to have santa come and visit their house LOL.

 

[abcboys]

I love the great Santa debate!! We do Santa here at our house. Last year my oldest was 8 asked me if Santa was real. I asked him what he thought and he said "no" and I said "you are right!" He said he was a little disappointed and that he really did believe but I thought he was old enough to know the truth. He still plays along for the little ones aged 5 and 2.

I kind of wish we had just told them all along that Santa wasn't real. I still think it's fun to "pretend" Santa. I love watching where he goes on christmas eve on the computer and putting out food for the reindeer. I just think its silly to continue to let them believe past the preschool aged years. I know an 11 year old that still believes and I think that's a little too long. I mean Santas not "really real" but it's all fun in pretending about it.

 

[TiggerGuy67]

Santa is not real? Mickey Mouse is a fictional character?

I don't care what any of you say, I'm still believing.

My favorite memories of my kids at WDW were when they were 3-5 and when they saw Mickey Mouse, they saw Mickey Mouse, not someone in a Mickey Mouse suit. The expressions on their faces was worth every penny I paid to bring them there.

One of my favorite memories was of a young girl who was not my own but who sat next to us during the Magic Kingdome parade (it was a while ago and I don't remember what they called it then). She was probaby 3 or 4. Each time she saw a new character round the corner, she would shake and sometime cry because she was so overwhelmed to be in the same place as Mickey or Donald or Belle or Cinderella.

This stage lasts only so long. Enjoy it. And whether you're talking about Santa or about Mickey, I'm still believin.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

Before this thread goes all postal....Kids at a young age dont really understand the difference between real and not real - not as adults do. They see an image of Santa; therefore he is real. They see Mickey Mouse; he is real.

I think they almost have a harder time believing that Christ, and other Biblical figures are real, they don't see Christ in the flesh (maybe a few old Charlton Heston Movies? Christ on the Cross in church,depending on your demonination). They see Santa and Mickey in person (at least at WDW). they trust that the adults around them who are saying Christ was real are telling the truth. Maybe a few children have religious epiphanies, but most of don't understand the concept of sin any more than they understand redemption. They can say that sinning causes one to go to hell, and that hell is a bad place, but they don't really understand what it means to commit adultery or even murder.

If you tell young child Santa and Mickey are make believe, they don't quite get what you are saying - at least not at a really young age. It is only when they approach 6 or 7 years old that they begin to understand, which is about the time that someone breaks it to them that Santa isn't real. That's part of why it isn't crushing to most kids - because it's only around that age that they have begun to understand the concepts of 'real' and 'fake.' It is also around that age that they really begin to have any real comprehension of empathy - before that they just can't put them selves in another's shoes. Watch how young children play together. It's playing in the same room, but not really together. They just can't percieve they idea of another's point of view. Likewise, they don't understand metaphor either.

None of us alive today has ever seen Christ in the flesh. To those of you who draw a dramatic distinction between fake Santa and real Christ, and all that Christ connotes...well, aren't the two kind of similar? Isn't the story of Christ just a grown up version of Santa Clause? At least in the sense that the story of Christ is an allegory - a lesson about how to live. The story of Santa is just a simplified allegory that children can relate to more easily. It is only through faith that anyone KNOWS that Christ is REAL - or for that matter any other part of the Christian faith. If you choose to live your life according to the prinicples of Christianity, then whether or not he ever walked the Earth really doesn't matter. The allegory is nearly the same.

 

[mandymommy4]

OK, this is my first post and I am a new member........

I love reading everyone's opinions about the Santa debate. DH and I are also followers of Christ and we celebrate Jesus's birth at Christmas but Santa is also very real to my 4 little ones (oldest is 5!) and me. DH and I decided main goal in raising our kids was to lead them to a personal relationship with Jesus and teach them how to live as he did, loving others. St. Nick and his love and concern for others is a great example of how we can love others, so one day when the question arises about Santa I will be able to explain who Santa was and how he loved others. It works for us !

So to answer the question about Santa, Yes! Think about how we can change the world by thinking of one needy person at Christmas and teaching our children to do the same.

Amen, that concludes my sermon!

 

[Philadisney]

I like your idea, OP. I don't have kids but that is what I plan to tell mine if I ever do have some.
My parents raised me with the 'Santa is real' story and when I was 8 I figured out that it wasn't true. It was a little upsetting, but MORE upsetting was the next 3 Christmas where I had to pretend to believe in Santa because I knew how upset my parents would be if I let on that I knew the 'truth'!

 

[Aristomommy]

I had DD9 and DS2. We celebrate Jesus' birth and we also talk about Santa. DD asked last year if Santa was real. I said "what do you think? assuming she was having doubts. She replied that the Santas at the mall are just helpers to real one. I didn't say yes or no to her, but let he figure it out. Although we are a Christian family, we also talk about Kwanzaa, Hanukah other holiday traditions around the world. My wish to my children is to know about many traditions, but I have never insisted they believe in Santa. I know it's tough to leave Santa out as it's so commercialized and people from all faiths have a tradition of Santa.

 

[Figaro77]

This might be nerdy, but my approach with our son is all in the "languaging." He is just coming out of the toddler years, finally starting to carry on full conversations and such, and it just felt strange to me to . . . well, I wouldn't say "lie", but it felt weird to say things that someday might cause him some kind of hurt. (My SIL can list the exact place she was, age she was, and what she was wearing when my husband, her older brother, broke her heart over Santa!) What I have been saying to my son is along the lines of "See, we put out our stockings and then we pretend that Santa comes and fills them! How much fun is that!" He gets excited about everyone "pretending" things, especially when grownups are involved, and because the language is always geared towards making it fun, but still knowing it is somewhat "pretend", he can absorb things as he gets older. It's true - at this age, he doesn't understand the difference between reality and fantasy where "characters" are concerned, but when he does, my prayer is that this will soak in in his own time, so he gets the best of magic and "truth." This is different from the language we use about "Baby Jesus' birthday" and the Nativity story, which we all view as a real event, and the purpose for our celebration. Okay, that was wordy.