"The Gay Friend"

[Scissors4Franky]

Hey, I was at my best friend's grandma's house today, and her uncle refered to me as "The Gay Friend". He knows my real name, but when he asks for me, he says things like, "Where's your gay friend at?" or, "How's the **** doing?". I don't think hes homophobic, but he never uses my real name.

Not that It really bothers me, or does he mean it offensively. I have just become accustomed to that title now. I'm not her only gay friend though. Are any of you refered to as "The Gay Friend" by your friend's family? How do you feel about it?

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Are you talking about your partner's uncle? If so, this may just be the easiet way for him to identify the relationship between you and his niece/nephew without having to go "there" .

If you do not think he is being mean spirited, I would just gently tell him that you prefer to be called by your name.

 

[Scissors4Franky]

Are you talking about your partner's uncle? If so, this may just be the easiet way for him to identify the relationship between you and his niece/nephew without having to go "there" .

If you do not think he is being mean spirited, I would just gently tell him that you prefer to be called by your name.

No, hes my best friend's uncle. My Uncle doesn't know I'm gay.

I'm around my best friend Stefany's family more than I am my own.

 

[serendipity]

I'm not gay, but if I was I wouldn't want to be referred to/remembered as "the gay friend" in the same way as if I were friends with a big group of gay people I wouldn't want to be referred to as "the straight friend" While I don't think it seems that he means to be rude I would maybe try talking to your friend about it and telling him it makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

[Sparx]

Start referring to him as "the straight uncle" or "that hetero guy"

he'll get the picture.

 

[SkyMedik]

While being gay is certainly a central part of our lives, I think all of us are way deeper than a label. I would never say "where is your little black friend" or "where is that jewish friend of yours".

I would politely remind him that you have a name. The next time...well, I wouldn't be polite the next time, but I'm a jerk so don't be like me.

Or, if he can't remember names, how about "your cool friend who wears flannel all the time" or "the girl who's so good at fixing cars"?

 

[FastPass]

Just start calling him "the old guy".

He's trying, in his own weird way, to be open to it. If you're comfortable telling him you don't like it, do it. If not, calling him the "old guy" or something that's not a slam but gets the point across. My grandfather dealt with it that way with my cousin... and when my grandpa was called "Older Grandpa", things changed.

 

[Scissors4Franky]

I just straight up told him to shut up. Simple. My problem stopped.

Thanks for the suggestions, you guys.