The epitome of entitlement mentality!

[MushyMushy]

This is more of a vent than anything, and I know a lot of you might disagree with this, but I'm rather ticked off at this.

Five years ago was my 20th reunion. Because we hadn't had a formal reunion up until that point, the reunion committee (which I'm on) decided to set aside some funds for classmates who wouldn't otherwise be able to afford to come. Only one woman asked for help, which we provided.

A little background on this woman, she was morbidly obese in high school and became even more so into adulthood. She is well over 500 pounds. She has told us that doctors have tried getting her to get weight loss surgery, but she is adamantly against it because she would lose her disability and she does NOT want to work. She obviously can't drive a vehicle at that weight, so never got her license. A classmate very kindly drove her to the last reunion and she broke his seat. We told her back then to go ahead and start saving some money for this upcoming reunion (25th). We don't have a lot of funds in our account and what little we do have, the reunion committee has earned in fundraising. We've worked our butts off to bring in money to defray the costs of the tickets.

Reunion is this weekend and this woman is again counting on us to purchase her ticket, program booklet, group picture and souvenir. Because we decided to hold the reunion out of town this time, she also needs a ride. The head committee member (call her Sue) has been furiously trying to find this woman a ride, but nobody is able or willing. Sue has called different transportation companies, and the prices we're being quoted are all over $300! This woman is getting ticked off at SUE, asking her "Well, have you tried calling here? Have you tried calling there?" Sue runs her own business and works constantly, but regardless, why should she be the one making all these phone calls? A class member kindly offered to donate $250 towards transportation, but you know it's getting to where it's going to cost over $400 to get this one person to the reunion.

And she EXPECTS that this will happen.

I'm sorry, but this is a bit much. My poor friend, Sue, is driving herself crazy with guilt because she can't find any good solutions. It's just ridiculous.

Anyway, vent over. It gets aggravating to work that hard on things like this only to be criticized from every angle.

 

[Magic Mom]

That's ridiculous. Tell her that the donation will cover 250.00 of her transportation costs and that it is up to her to both arrange her own transportation and pay any amount over the 250.00 donation.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

If she wants to attend badly enough, she'll find a way. You don't owe her anything.

 

[sunnyday123]

People like that annoy me. I'll help anyone with anything, but you have to be willing to help yourself first.

I'd give her the numbers to call, and say, "Hope to see you there." She choose that life to live, no one should bend over backwards for her.

 

[LuvOrlando]

My 2 cents is while I think it is admirable that you are all trying to help your former classmate I think you guys have gone above and beyond for helping this woman. One thing I think you need to consider is the fact that this woman could very easily get very seriously hurt during the transport and/or party itself and that whoever is helping her could be held responsible. If I were in your shoes I would tell her: " We all all have too much on our plates to continue making these contacts. We do very much want you to come and there is $--- available to you to help out with paying for transportation. When you make your arrangements give us the name of the place to get a copy of the contract and we will pay the place $--- the day of the reunion but the contract must between you and them, not a member of the reunion committee."

Good luck.

 

[dismom2]

That's really generous and nice of your committee to pay for this woman. Unfortunately, it sounds like she doesn't want to help herself at all. I would ask her to help out, and set some limits regarding how much you will pay for.

As for her surgery...it's pretty sad that this woman would rather be extremely unhealthy, and possibly die young, rather than get surgery and a job that says a lot about her. Perhaps she doesn't deserve this generosity.

 

[SKWDW]

This is more of a vent than anything, and I know a lot of you might disagree with this, but I'm rather ticked off at this.

Five years ago was my 20th reunion. Because we hadn't had a formal reunion up until that point, the reunion committee (which I'm on) decided to set aside some funds for classmates who wouldn't otherwise be able to afford to come. Only one woman asked for help, which we provided.

A little background on this woman, she was morbidly obese in high school and became even more so into adulthood. She is well over 500 pounds. She has told us that doctors have tried getting her to get weight loss surgery, but she is adamantly against it because she would lose her disability and she does NOT want to work. She obviously can't drive a vehicle at that weight, so never got her license. A classmate very kindly drove her to the last reunion and she broke his seat. We told her back then to go ahead and start saving some money for this upcoming reunion (25th). We don't have a lot of funds in our account and what little we do have, the reunion committee has earned in fundraising. We've worked our butts off to bring in money to defray the costs of the tickets.

Reunion is this weekend and this woman is again counting on us to purchase her ticket, program booklet, group picture and souvenir. Because we decided to hold the reunion out of town this time, she also needs a ride. The head committee member (call her Sue) has been furiously trying to find this woman a ride, but nobody is able or willing. Sue has called different transportation companies, and the prices we're being quoted are all over $300! This woman is getting ticked off at SUE, asking her "Well, have you tried calling here? Have you tried calling there?" Sue runs her own business and works constantly, but regardless, why should she be the one making all these phone calls? A class member kindly offered to donate $250 towards transportation, but you know it's getting to where it's going to cost over $400 to get this one person to the reunion.

And she EXPECTS that this will happen.

I'm sorry, but this is a bit much. My poor friend, Sue, is driving herself crazy with guilt because she can't find any good solutions. It's just ridiculous.

Anyway, vent over. It gets aggravating to work that hard on things like this only to be criticized from every angle.

You weren't kidding, she truly exemplifies the epitome of entitlement mentality! I agree with PP, Sue (and the rest of the committee) has already gone above and beyond for this person.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Time to tell her you can not accommodate her request and see what she does.

 

[NotUrsula]

I think at this point your only reasonable reply is, "We'll miss you."

 

[krcit]

I think at this point your only reasonable reply is, "We'll miss you."

 

[Imzadi]

That's ridiculous. Tell her that the donation will cover 250.00 of her transportation costs and that it is up to her to both arrange her own transportation and pay any amount over the 250.00 donation.

I agree with this. The committee should only donate what it would cost for an average person. If the person has special needs beyond that, they need to cough up a portion to cover that.

Sounds like the amount required could pay for 2 people. What if another person calls up tomorrow because they suddenly lost their job or something? All the funds would have already been spent on this one person.

Plus, if SHE knows places to call for transportation, why isn't she the one calling and making arrangements or getting prices?

This isn't just entitlement, this type of person has learned full well how to manipulate people by using the Victim card. If this person can pay to feed her 500 lb butt each month, she can pay for part of the transportation. A donation is a donation, not an entitlement to be greedy and ask for more. She's already insatiable. It has more to do with her personality than with her actual weight. Whatever she gets will never be enough.

 

[bumbershoot]

That was really nice of the committee to have the fund in the first place. My HS certainly didn't do anything like that!

 

[Mkrop]

People like that annoy me. I'll help anyone with anything, but you have to be willing to help yourself first.

I'd give her the numbers to call, and say, "Hope to see you there." She choose that life to live, no one should bend over backwards for her.

 

[wdwfan16]

Tell Sue to stop worrying and tell Entitlement Queen to fund her own reunion.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Tell Sue to stop trying so hard! The Queen isn't dying and this is her last wish. She simply won't stop eating and wants everyone else to foot the bill. Tell her to eat a little less each day so she can save the money for the reunion. Wish her well and if she can't come then oh well.

 

[Kimberly]

Tell Sue to stop trying so hard! The Queen isn't dying and this is her last wish. She simply won't stop eating and wants everyone else to foot the bill. Tell her to eat a little less each day so she can save the money for the reunion. Wish her well and if she can't come then oh well.

I was thinking the exact same thing! Really... it isn't your friend's responsibility to be her personal secretary to get things done for her.

When my high school has a class reunion, I will DEFINITELY have to fly in to it. No way in my mind that I'd demand the organizers to fund my flight. That would be absurd.

 

[PrincessBelle09]

The committee has obviously been incredibly generous to this woman in the past and present. I agree with the PP that she should take over the responsibility of finding her own transportation (she apparently know where Sue should be calling anyway) and paying the necessary costs beyond the $250 donation. Her unwillingness to help herself or show a bit of gratitude is making the reunion into a miserable for others and it is inappropriate to continue enabling her.

 

[pixiewings71]

I think at this point your only reasonable reply is, "We'll miss you."

 

[C.Ann]

Wow! I would be waaaaay too embarrassed to ask anyone to do that - let alone "demand" it!

I think "Sue" needs to have contact with her just one more time - and that's it.. "I'm sorry, Mary - but we have exhausted all possibilities that are available to us.. If there's any possible way that you can get here on your own, we'd be very happy to see you.. I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you this year.. Maybe you can make it the next time.."

Just - WOW!!!!

 

[MushyMushy]

Oh, the point about this being enough to pay for 2 people -- no, $400 would pay for 10 people. We have done enough fundraising to make the cost $40 a person, but that wouldn't pay for the extras.

Or that could pay for somebody's plane ticket. We have a lot of people who just don't have the money to fly.