The epic bad parenting thread

[jjarman]

Hi. My name is Jaymie and I am a bad parent.

When my son was a baby he loved to be upside down. I would put him in the little "Sweet Pea" gowns and hold him upside down by the bottom of the gown. He was in the gown tight and was not going to fall. Honestly. He loved it.

When he was 16 months old he was a great little swimmer with his water wings on. We were staying at a condo at the beach so I put his wings on him and let him go all over the pool by himself. The grandmothers in the pool area shot daggers with their eyes but we all know those things don't come off easily.

Same trip. He was acting up at the pool so I just said fine we will go up to the room. He was tired and bored with swimming I guess. Got him in the condo and we were playing chase. He fell and hit his head on the bed frame. Gave him a big on knot on his head. Later when I took him back to the pool I know they all thought I beat him.

When he was 8 he was really small and skinny. He loves football and was finally old enough to play on the peewee team. Well after a week or so I realized how big some of those kids were so we took him out of football that year. He was devastated. He is 19 now and still has not forgiven us.

I let him dip his green beans in ketchup. I let him dip any food in ketchup if he would eat it.

I let him ride a bike and a four wheeler without a helmet. I do the same thing.

I drink in front of him.

I raised him to say please, thank you, ma'am, sir and to give up his seat on the bus at WDW.

I am a bad parent.

 

[tigercat]

I tried to give my 2nd dd away. Really. No one would have her though. She was so good when at friends house but at home she was horrible. She wanted to run away to the nearest city (we live in a small town) and I was ready to pack her bags. She ended up pregnant at 16 and had her dd 10 days after her 17th birthday. At first it was a great turn around when she was pregnant at least with me but gradually that started to give. She drank (we don't drink) ran around and everything that my dh & I would have died doing. She took all the things we should have done in the 60's and 70's and did them for us. At some point something clicked and she isn't half bad now. What is really fun though is watching her deal with her teenage dd. Too bad my dgrdd is a good kid. It was hard though because the rest of my family had "wonderful" children. I just ended up with the devil child
tigercat

 

[PebblesMK]

I forgot to add that when mine was little, I used to spin her around by her arms and then put her down and laugh at how she looked drunk. I dislocated her arm about 6 times.

I also accidently drank too much once and even though there was a teenager babysitting the kids who were sleeping, mine woke up and came out to me...I picked her up and then fell over and started laughing hysterically and she didn't know what was wrong.

Now...I do believe my parenting "skills" come from my parent. When I was growing up, my parents thought I would be a midget because I was the size of a two year old from the time I was two until six. I was the walking, talking, Brookie doll. But I digress. When I was maybe one, I was sitting on the couch next to my mom and my dad came and sat on me (what parent does that!!), my mom screamed and my dad jumped up and I was gone. I had slipped into the crack of the couch cushion and was sitting there staring up blankly.

My dad took me swimming one time and I kept jumping in and he would catch me. He got out and didn't know I was jumping and I almost drowned. Twice.

 

[Wall-E1]

I forgot to add that when mine was little, I used to spin her around by her arms and then put her down and laugh at how she looked drunk. I dislocated her arm about 6 times.

I also accidently drank too much once and even though there was a teenager babysitting the kids who were sleeping, mine woke up and came out to me...I picked her up and then fell over and started laughing hysterically and she didn't know what was wrong.

Now...I do believe my parenting "skills" come from my parent. When I was growing up, my parents thought I would be a midget because I was the size of a two year old from the time I was two until six. I was the walking, talking, Brookie doll. But I digress. When I was maybe one, I was sitting on the couch next to my mom and my dad came and sat on me (what parent does that!!), my mom screamed and my dad jumped up and I was gone. I had slipped into the crack of the couch cushion and was sitting there staring up blankly.

My dad took me swimming one time and I kept jumping in and he would catch me. He got out and didn't know I was jumping and I almost drowned. Twice.

So, you had problems with crack. I'm glad you overcame them.

 

[ksumn1]

Umm..my 6 yr old DD was sent to her room yesterday by DH because she ignored him when he told her to pick up her toys out of the floor. She told him to wait until her show went off. He said No, she said 'Fine, when the commercial comes on" DH turned off the TV, DD screamed at him, picked up 1 toy threw it down, picked up the TV remote, turned it back on and said "I'll do the rest later" So he spanked her, she's yelling at him the whole time so he just gets angrier and angrier and he sent her to to her room so he could calm down.

I go check on her a few minutes later, she's pulled every book off her bookshelf,every animal, pillow, blanket and sheet off the bed and is in the closet with the door shut. I tell her to come out and talk to me. "Nope, she's angry and wants to stay angry, don't want to apologize to her mean Daddy so just leave her alone in the closet" I tell her "Fine, stay in there all day, I don't care. Don't come out until you can apologize for yelling and AFTER you clean up your room Little Mrs. Angry Pants"

2 hours later, she comes out. she was crying because she was going to get in trouble because she couldn't figure out how to clean her room from the closet because I told her don't come out (she thought of the closet) until she was done.

Tonight I was a bad Mommy becasue I made her go to bed at 10:30 on vacation (school break) and wouldn't let her sleep with her sister. She's going to be eaten by monsters and then she'll go away forever. I told her "Sweet dreams, don't let the bedbugs bite"

Oh, and DH took 10 yr old DD to a roller skating rink. She fell fractured her wrist and DH and I didn't believe her becasue it only swelled up a bit. We made her play in her softball game that afternoon (Saturday) and didn't take her to the dr till Monday after school. Hey, she hit a homerun so it was worth it!!!

I, too am a bad parent. And I often do the angry laughing, especially when my 6 yr old DD ig oing toe to toe with my DH. She doesn't ahve the common sense to realize he's the windsheild and SHE's the bug. She thinks she's actually going to come out on top...silly girl.

 

[darlak]

I left my son at home alone when he was barely 3. I was a foster parent at the time and had, in total, 6 kids. I had them all loaded and buckled up in the minivan (sooo glad those days are behind me now!), when I remembered something I needed inside the house. I jumped out of the van and ran inside to get it, then ran and jumped back in the van. We got on the interstate and almost downtown (about a 20 minute drive), when my oldest daughter (then 8), asked "Mom, where's Kyle?"

My head spun around and I screamed "What do mean, where's Kyle?" So I got off the interstate, then got back on headed home. All of this was of course, pre cell phone days. When I got back home, he was sitting in front of the tv, watching cartoons. I asked him if he knew we were gone, he said sure. When I asked if he had been scared, he said "Nah, I knew you'ld be back."

I have 4 kids, so my list of bad parenting incidents is extensive. Some of the others are soo bad, I'm still trying to forget them. Unfortunately, my kids will not cooperate in letting me forget!

 

[Wall-E1]

Umm..my 6 yr old DD was sent to her room yesterday by DH because she ignored him when he told her to pick up her toys out of the floor. She told him to wait until her show went off. He said No, she said 'Fine, when the commercial comes on" DH turned off the TV, DD screamed at him, picked up 1 toy threw it down, picked up the TV remote, turned it back on and said "I'll do the rest later" So he spanked her, she's yelling at him the whole time so he just gets angrier and angrier and he sent her to to her room so he could calm down.

I go check on her a few minutes later, she's pulled every book off her bookshelf,every animal, pillow, blanket and sheet off the bed and is in the closet with the door shut. I tell her to come out and talk to me. "Nope, she's angry and wants to stay angry, don't want to apologize to her mean Daddy so just leave her alone in the closet" I tell her "Fine, stay in there all day, I don't care. Don't come out until you can apologize for yelling and AFTER you clean up your room Little Mrs. Angry Pants"

2 hours later, she comes out. she was crying because she was going to get in trouble because she couldn't figure out how to clean her room from the closet because I told her don't come out (she thought of the closet) until she was done.

Tonight I was a bad Mommy becasue I made her go to bed at 10:30 on vacation (school break) and wouldn't let her sleep with her sister. She's going to be eaten by monsters and then she'll go away forever. I told her "Sweet dreams, don't let the bedbugs bite"

Oh, and DH took 10 yr old DD to a roller skating rink. She fell fractured her wrist and DH and I didn't believe her becasue it only swelled up a bit. We made her play in her softball game that afternoon (Saturday) and didn't take her to the dr till Monday after school. Hey, she hit a homerun so it was worth it!!!

I, too am a bad parent. And I often do the angry laughing, especially when my 6 yr old DD ig oing toe to toe with my DH. She doesn't ahve the common sense to realize he's the windsheild and SHE's the bug. She thinks she's actually going to come out on top...silly girl.

Very nice stories. I see your child is very defiant. Somehow, it must be your bad parenting that is causing this behavior. You'll fit in here just fine. I can relate to the roller rink story. My son is a complete drama queen. So, when he gets hurt for real, I never know. I think it's just him trying to earn an Oscar. That has led to some awkward situations in public that have made me look like an uncaring parent.

 

[Wall-E1]

I left my son at home alone when he was barely 3. I was a foster parent at the time and had, in total, 6 kids. I had them all loaded and buckled up in the minivan (sooo glad those days are behind me now!), when I remembered something I needed inside the house. I jumped out of the van and ran inside to get it, then ran and jumped back in the van. We got on the interstate and almost downtown (about a 20 minute drive), when my oldest daughter (then 8), asked "Mom, where's Kyle?"

My head spun around and I screamed "What do mean, where's Kyle?" So I got off the interstate, then got back on headed home. All of this was of course, pre cell phone days. When I got back home, he was sitting in front of the tv, watching cartoons. I asked him if he knew we were gone, he said sure. When I asked if he had been scared, he said "Nah, I knew you'ld be back."

I have 4 kids, so my list of bad parenting incidents is extensive. Some of the others are soo bad, I'm still trying to forget them. Unfortunately, my kids will not cooperate in letting me forget!

Child abandonment more than qualifies you as a bad parent. Congratulations!!!

 

[darlak]

Child abandonment more than qualifies you as a bad parent. Congratulations!!!

Thanks! That means I won't need to delve into the other, more horrific incidents. Well, not unless there's some sort of prize, of heck, even a title, at stake.

 

[Wall-E1]

Thanks! That means I won't need to delve into the other, more horrific incidents. Well, not unless there's some sort of prize, of heck, even a title, at stake.

Well, originally there wasn't going to be a prize, but depending on how horrific the other stories are, we may just have to come up with some sort of major award.

 

[ksumn1]

Thanks! That means I won't need to delve into the other, more horrific incidents. Well, not unless there's some sort of prize, of heck, even a title, at stake.

Please do share. I alway find others bad parenting stories funny. Much more than mine.

Except for the one where DD (4 at the time) decides to visit PawPaw at the barn, dressed only in cowboy boots, gloves and a big old smile. Bad mom was still in bed, snoozing away. Didn't even know until my Dad came in to wake me up about an hour later!

Or the time odler DD peed in the floor at Wal Mart and told the CS lady to have fun cleaning it up...loooong story but the employee deserved it.

 

[Wall-E1]

Or the time odler DD peed in the floor at Wal Mart and told the CS lady to have fun cleaning it up...loooong story but the employee deserved it.

Was it a territorial thing? My cat sometimes does that.

 

[ksumn1]

Thanks! That means I won't need to delve into the other, more horrific incidents. Well, not unless there's some sort of prize, of heck, even a title, at stake.

Was it a territorial thing? My cat sometimes does that.

No, she was in the midst of potty training and had to go potty. the one at the back of the store was closed for cleaning. Went up front beside the CS counter and it was closed too. CS lady told me I couldn't take DD in, even though the Womens was roped off but not being cleaned yet. DD is doing the pee pee dance and I told CS lady she's really gotta go. Well, take her to the back she replied. i told her it was closed too. SHould be opened by now, she said and told me to go to the back and look again with this eye roll.

So we run to the back of the store...and it's still closed. With someone in the mens and womens actually cleaning. Head back across the store to the front, same situation. I grab DD and go to take her and again snotty woman stops me with some BS about store policy states no one in restroom while being cleaned and she'll call security if we go in the restroom before it's cleaned, just take her to Hardee's (across a 4 lane and through 2 lights).

So DD who's been impatiently hopping from foot to foot says she can't hold it. She proceeds to squat down, pulls dress up, undoes her pull up in like 3 seconds and peesw all in the floor. I was horrified and yet terribly amused. When's she's done DD fixes her pull up, pulls down her dress and tells the totally shocked and now speechless CS employee "Since you wouldn't let me go to the potty, I hope you had fun cleaning i it up. When you gotta go, you gotta go!!" I took her hand and walked out of the store, laving my fully stocked buggy full of merchandise behind.

I've never been so horrifed and proud at the same time.Ant it IS a true story!!

BTW, I took DD to get the biggest ice cream sundae she could eat that day.

 

[Wall-E1]

No, she was in the midst of potty training and had to go potty. the one at the back of the store was closed for cleaning. Went up front beside the CS counter and it was closed too. CS lady told me I couldn't take DD in, even though the Womens was roped off but not being cleaned yet. DD is doing the pee pee dance and I told CS lady she's really gotta go. Well, take her to the back she replied. i told her it was closed too. SHould be opened by now, she said and told me to go to the back and look again with this eye roll.

So we run to the back of the store...and it's still closed. With someone in the mens and womens actually cleaning. Head back across the store to the front, same situation. I grab DD and go to take her and again snotty woman stops me with some BS about store policy states no one in restroom while being cleaned and she'll call security if we go in the restroom before it's cleaned, just take her to Hardee's (across a 4 lane and through 2 lights).

So DD who's been impatiently hopping from foot to foot says she can't hold it. She proceeds to squat down, pulls dress up, undoes her pull up in like 3 seconds and peesw all in the floor. I was horrified and yet terribly amused. When's she's done DD fixes her pull up, pulls down her dress and tells the totally shocked and now speechless CS employee "Since you wouldn't let me go to the potty, I hope you had fun cleaning i it up. When you gotta go, you gotta go!!" I took her hand and walked out of the store, laving my fully stocked buggy full of merchandise behind.

I've never been so horrifed and proud at the same time.Ant it IS a true story!!

BTW, I took DD to get the biggest ice cream sundae she could eat that day.

Well the woman got what she deserved.

 

[dreamn_Disney]

OK, time to fess up...am I the only parent who has misjudged the distance between the door jam and my kids' head when they were infants?

I am a horrible parent!

This made me laugh out loud. I have wondered the same thing about me. I also noticed that the roof of the car seems lower, than I thought, when taking a child out of the car seat.

 

[Green Tea]

My child thought he was a special snowflake. I poured warm water on his head and melted his illusions. He learned he was just like every other little kid.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

This made me laugh out loud. I have wondered the same thing about me. I also noticed that the roof of the car seems lower, than I thought, when taking a child out of the car seat.

I can't count the number of times I banged my child's head or my OWN head on the top of the door frame. Guess the car believes in equal opportunity.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Next year we are going to New York. It couldn't possibly happen again. Stuff like that only happens in the movies.

I think you mean florida while your son accidently goes to NY

 

[MizTink]

i rolled the car (power) window up on dds head more than once. one time left a mark on her neck. this is why the other kids learned to listen to me when i told them not to stick their heads out of the car like dogs!!

 

[Explodo]

Alright...HAve a go at this one.

We have two Children DD(5) and DS(2). LAst month It was my turn to take them in for their 6 month checkups. I take them to the hospital. Nice place 11floors, we are on the 6th floor. We finish the appointment and are in the lobby waiting on the elevator. At this precise moment, DS decides he needs to throw a fit about his coat not being zipped, as I'm battling him, the elevator door opens(going Up), and I didn't see my DD walk into said elevator. I finish with the boy and turn around and discover...MY DAUGHTER IS MISSING!!!! NOw what the hell do I do?

A older lady who was waiting with us looks at me and see's me in panic mode and says "I think your daughter got on the up elevator" I say thanks and think to myself "Do I stay here and wait...or do I go running maddly up the stairs looking for her"

I choose to stay put (Don't ask why...I couldn't think of how I could get up the stairs quickly enough to check 5 floors before the elevator came down while carrying a 2 year old and a diaper bag)

After about 3 minutes, the elevator she go in opened up and she wasn't in it. NOw real panic was setting in, I hpped in the next down elevator and went to the lobby to get the security folks. As the door opened, I look out and see my DD wandering around the lobby looking somewhat bemused...and more than a little scared. I rush out and Whistle at her. I swear to god and GOD, her face lit up like a wishes shooting star. She ran over and said "Daddy! Don;t run off like that anymore!"

I couldn't decide if I was mad or elated. And I didn;t tell my Wife about it for 2 whole days...When I told her...she laughed like a banshee. Cruel Female.