The Duggers. Why the Animosity?

[DawnCt1]

All I know of the Duggers is what I have seen on the TLC commercials and the comments that I have read here. I saw the commercial today, and I saw 17 beautiful children. They look happy, well cared for and so I don't get the animosity that I often see on this board. I would never chose to have 18 children or even 8 children but they look like they are nice kids. Can someone explain the 'attitude'? or is there an 'attitude?"

 

[ConcKahuna]

My only issues are the way she is endangering her own health, and how she seems to be trying to cash in on the fact that she gets pregnant a lot.

 

[beckmrk04]

I don't understand people's animosity towards them, either. It certainly isn't a lifestyle I would choose, but they all seem happy and fairly well-adjusted. They are smart kids- they seem incredibly respectful, and they are all very well taken care of. They support themselves.

So, while their religion or choice to have 18+ kids wouldn't be up my alley, I don't begrudge them their choice to do what works for them and their family. It's sort of refreshing to see kids who don't have the latest gadget or who aren't on "My Super Sweet 16" making fools of themselves.

To each his own. They aren't hurting anyone.

 

[clarabelle]

I don't have any animosity towards them. But I do wonder -what if everyone shared their philosophy?
We would have some serious population problems on our hands.

 

[diz8297]

They don't bother me at all. I figure they are self supporting and are raising responsible children. I can't fathom having all of those children, but then again, I can't fathom a lot of things!! Like others have said, to each their own.

 

[debbi801]

For me, it is the fact that they almost immediately pawn the baby off on an older child. Then, there is the blanket training they do with the toddlers. http://community.discovery.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/8981916228/m/4071995319 Then, there is the fact that they've turned themselves into a non-profit (by declaring their home as a church) so that they can take advantage of no taxes. Then, there is the carbon footprint of 18 children, and she is planning more. Then, there is the "Husband is in control of all decisions" thing. Those are the basics, but I could go on and on.

 

[Charade]

I think the children are being mistreated.

 

[freckles and boo]

I really find the reference to her as a 'clown car' as distasteful and disrespectful. I haven't participated in the most recent thread but there are several things I find troubling about the way they operate -

I hate that the kids are on public display. How can the youngest ones consent to something like that? I have the same problem with Jon and Kate.

I dislike that the older kids have SO much responsibility. That isn't healthy, in my opinion. Yes, helping out should be expected in all families no matter what the size, but the fact that the kids do most of the dirty work bothers me.

I really dislike that futures of the girls seems to be limited simply because they are girls. That is a tragic waste of human potential, in my opinion.

I don't care how many kids they have as long as they actively parent them and don't foist them on their siblings just because they can.

 

[beckmrk04]

I don't have any animosity towards them. But I do wonder -what if everyone shared their philosophy?
We would have some serious population problems on our hands.

Serioulsy!

But, you couldn't PAY most people to have that many kids. I barely have enough patience as it is. 18 kids would send me straight to the cuckoo's nest.

Michelle seems to just be GOOD at it. She doesn't seem like she flusters easily, and she takes all the noise/mess/etc. in stride. I admire her soft voice, even when she's admonishing one of the kids. And they seem pretty well-behaved.

 

[chobie]

JIm Bob and Michelle are vile. They have been pimping those kids for years - starting with Jim Bob's failed political career several years ago.

If they were modest people who just had huge family and I heard about them or they lived in my neighborhood I wouldn't think ill about them. In fact, there was a family like that were I used to live in Washington. I would see them in Costco every weekend, they had 8 or 9 kids, the girls and mom all wore those hand made dresses, the boys and dad wore matching chinos and polo shirts. I always thought when I saw them how well behaved they all were when I could barely control 2 kids when at the store.

So, its not the quiverfull lifestyle per se I have issue with - it's the disgusting manner the Duggar display themselves on tv with Michelle announcing her pregnancies on national tv etc. They are publicity *****s plain and simple.

 

[suzanna1066@comcast.]

I think the children are being mistreated.

Just how are they being mistreated? They are not pawned off to older kids to be raised. They are assigned a buddy who helps get them dressed and watches them at stores, etc. Oh the torture! Older children being raised with responsibility, what a concept. Every show I have seen shows that the parents are clearly in charge and they interact with all their kids. Michelle teaches them all at home so she probably spends more time with her kids than some.
They seem healthy and happy. Having a large family is in accordance with their religious beliefs but they certainly do not strike me as a cult. They seem quite tolerant of other people and beliefs but raise their kids according to their own.
The animosity on this board towards them blows my mind. Mainly because it is so mean-spirited.

 

[suzanna1066@comcast.]

Serioulsy!

But, you couldn't PAY most people to have that many kids. I barely have enough patience as it is. 18 kids would send me straight to the cuckoo's nest.

Michelle seems to just be GOOD at it. She doesn't seem like she flusters easily, and she takes all the noise/mess/etc. in stride. I admire her soft voice, even when she's admonishing one of the kids. And they seem pretty well-behaved.

You have to give her credit---her household is very well organized.

 

[ConcKahuna]

Just how are they being mistreated? They are not pawned off to older kids to be raised. They are assigned a buddy who helps get them dressed and watches them at stores, etc.

I don't really see the difference here.

I always thought raising a child involved helping them get dressed, watching them in stores, etc. Maybe some people let the kids figure cloths out themselves and let them run rampant in public? It would explain some of the stuff I've seen in the theme parks..

 

[Saphire]

I don't understand the animosity either. I can understand shaking your head and not understanding their lifestyle, but it is their life, their choice. The family seems happy and well adjusted.
Many families had huge families years ago. Read some history books.
I wish people would get outraged about the truly bad parents out there that abuse and neglect their dear children, that don't love them or provide for them.

 

[DawnCt1]

For me, it is the fact that they almost immediately pawn the baby off on an older child. Then, there is the blanket training they do with the toddlers. http://community.discovery.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/8981916228/m/4071995319 Then, there is the fact that they've turned themselves into a non-profit (by declaring their home as a church) so that they can take advantage of no taxes. Then, there is the carbon footprint of 18 children, and she is planning more. Then, there is the "Husband is in control of all decisions" thing. Those are the basics, but I could go on and on.

I don't concern myself with 'carbon footprints', etc. I don't care what they do to minimize their tax burden. There are certain cultures that are beyond "criticism" that also have a lot of children, with multiple wives. I don't see where they are hurting anyone. If they were abusing their children, they would be arrested. Certainly there is enough scrutiny. Again, not my choice, but their kids are breaking and entering, being arrested for shoplifting or vandalism. There was a time in our history where adolescents took on family responsibilities.

 

[debster812]

I despise the way they have chosen to exploit their children, their family, and their lifestyle. It's VERY easy to clothe and feed your 20 member family when you are heavily subsidized by Discovery Networks. And when you have your home declared a church, to gain tax-free status, well, that ought to help too.

I also dislike how the older children seem to be essentially raising their 'buddy'. Now, I get that older kids in a big family need to help out, my husband is one of 8, and one of the older ones, so I know how that should be. (Keep an eye on the baby while mom takes a shower, etc), but for a teen who did not bear this child to be responsible virtually 24/7 for a younger sibling, I think that is reprehensible on the parents' part.

And there also seems to be a very very narrow career path for the girls. Which is a huge shame.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't understand people's animosity towards them, either. It certainly isn't a lifestyle I would choose, but they all seem happy and fairly well-adjusted. They are smart kids- they seem incredibly respectful, and they are all very well taken care of. They support themselves.

So, while their religion or choice to have 18+ kids wouldn't be up my alley, I don't begrudge them their choice to do what works for them and their family. It's sort of refreshing to see kids who don't have the latest gadget or who aren't on "My Super Sweet 16" making fools of themselves.

To each his own. They aren't hurting anyone.

Just how are they being mistreated? They are not pawned off to older kids to be raised. They are assigned a buddy who helps get them dressed and watches them at stores, etc. Oh the torture! Older children being raised with responsibility, what a concept. Every show I have seen shows that the parents are clearly in charge and they interact with all their kids. Michelle teaches them all at home so she probably spends more time with her kids than some.
They seem healthy and happy. Having a large family is in accordance with their religious beliefs but they certainly do not strike me as a cult. They seem quite tolerant of other people and beliefs but raise their kids according to their own.
The animosity on this board towards them blows my mind. Mainly because it is so mean-spirited.

----------------------

I'm beginning to think that it's jealousy.. They are self-supporting (and also were so prior to their show); have a very clean, well-maintained home; have excellent morals and values; are a very close knit family; and have managed to raise and homeschool 17 of the most respectful, intelligent; responsible; compassionate children I have seen in a long, long time..

As for having their home declared a "church" in order to evade taxes, quite some time ago I remember one of the children mentioning that they do in fact hold church services in their home (open to all) and they also run some type of ministry via the internet..

As long as they aren't living off of government assistance, I see no problems with their choices at all..

Actually, "Jon & Kate" could probably take a few lessons from them regarding behavior issues (particularly with the older twins); modesty and what is appropriate in terms of their children being filmed; and how important grandparents; aunts; uncles; and cousins should be to the Gosselin children..

 

[DawnCt1]

----------------------

I'm beginning to think that it's jealousy.. They are self-supporting (and also were so prior to their show); have a very clean, well-maintained home; have excellent morals and values; are a very close knit family; and have managed to raise and homeschool 17 of the most respectful, intelligent; responsible; compassionate children I have seen in a long, long time..

As for having their home declared a "church" in order to evade taxes, quite some time ago I remember one of the children mentioning that they do in fact hold church services in their home (open to all) and they also run some type of ministry via the internet..

As long as they aren't living off of government assistance, I see no problems with their choices at all..

Actually, "Jon & Kate" could probably take a few lessons from them regarding behavior issues (particularly with the older twins); modesty and what is appropriate in terms of their children being filmed; and how important grandparents; aunts; uncles; and cousins should be to the Gosselin children..

Like I said, I know very little about them, but you have added to my "fund of knowledge" here and I don't get the animosity. Thanks.

 

[EpcotBeauty]

I think the children are being mistreated.

How, could you please give examples?

 

[eddad]

Sort of OT but an episode of their show last week was sponsored by the Nuva Ring