The Disney wedding that wasn't

[kimbamickey]

I need some cheering up. My heart is completely broken. I have always dreamed of getting engaged at Disney, or being lucky enough to have a wedding in the World, and I was thinking that within the next year I would be on here chatting to people about Disney wedding stuff. But it doesn't look like either are going to happen anytime soon. My boyfriend of almost 5 years told me last week that he isn't sure he loves me anymore or if I am the person he wants to be with. He says our relationship has so many problems that we have not taken care of, and he is willing to 'start over,' but he feels completely blocked off from me right now. I just don't know what to do. I can't eat or sleep, and I feel sick in my stomach constantly. I feel like he is asking me to make him fall in love with me again, but that is hard when you feel completely empty inside. Any advice?

 

[Luvndisney]

sweetie I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I know words can not help but know that things will get better either way. If you are meant to be together you will be. I hope this works out for you soon. And never loose sight of your dream for a Disney wedding...you may just get it one day.

 

[angietink79]

I'm so sorry to hear that...your situation sounds exactly like things my boyfriend and I have gone through (word for word). We worked out all our issues and are very happy and much closer than we ever were before, and are having a Disney wedding next April.

If it is meant to be, you will be back together, but don't put all of your hopes into that idea. Just take each day one at a time, spend time and energy focusing on yourself right now, and you will start to feel better (I promise). It really stinks when you think you have your life planned out, and you get the rug pulled out from under you.

He may come to his senses once he realizes what he has lost. But if he doesnt, he wasn't worthy of a Disney wedding anyhow, and you will find someone who is.

 

[JonetteA]

I agree to work on your relationship. There is plenty of time to have the wedding of your dreams with the RIGHT person that wants you!

 

[karenperez]

Good luck, honey. You will be in my prayers.

 

[yanners]

First of all

This must have been very hard for you to hear but trust me when I say better now than later.

I was with my first husband for 5 years before we married and I honestly think we got married because it was the next logical step. I wasn't totally in love with him but wasn't all that unhappy either. We ended up splitting up 2 months after the wedding because I felt that life was too short not to be 100% happy. I had doubts before we got married but didn't listen to myself.

Marriage is SO huge and if he is having doubts then it is best to deal with them before the wedding than to have to go through a divorce.

Take this time to evaluate your relationship too from your perspective. Think about whether or not this is what you want or what needs to change. Look at it as an opportunity to discover whether or not you are on the right path.

:goodluck: and another

 

[PrincessMo]

Hugs to you sweetie!

The others here have given great advice but I think you need to just look inside yourself and decide what is going to be the best way for you to handle this. And just do like everyone says, take 1 day at a time and see what develops. I am sure everything will work out fine and fall into place as it is meant to be.

First and foremost you must take care of yourself. You must love yourself first and be confident...that will make all the difference in the world.

Feel free to chat with me anytime you need to.

Have A Magical Day!

 

[lindakmonty]

I know how bad you must be hurting! My high school sweetheart did the same thing to me but it was only about 3 years after we started dating. We parted ways and it has been for the best. Best of luck to you. You'll have that Disney wedding, maybe just not right now. When the time is right! And with the right person Good luck!

 

[pintradingwedding]

all i can say is i had a boy break my heart. it literally felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. i thought i would never feel that way again. never fall in love again.

cut to 10 years later, i met THE MOST AMAZING GUY. Andy is MY SOULMATE!!! and i am SO THANKFUL i didn't marry that first boyfriend.

now me and my TRUE LOVE are getting married at disney!!!

i believe you will meet someone more perfect for you. he is out there waiting for you. so don't settle!!!

 

[janine]

It is so difficult to know what to do here. Everybody is so different.
I had a few tough years when I first started dating my DH. He was fearful of comittment because his Mum & Dad had both been through a bad marriage, only to remarry and divorce again. He felt it would also happen to him.
I remember at about 4 years us going through a similar kind of scenario. I learned to toughen myself up and tried not to let him think it worried me, which I reckon made him think again.
Our relationship grew and grew, and we are the best of friends.
20 years on, we just got married, and he says he should have done it years ago.
I wonder if I had chucked the towel in, where we would be now, so I am so glad I never.
Do only what your heart tells you to do.
Sending lots of pixie dust, and hoping everything works out for you.
One day you will be married at Disney.

 

[HollisterSweetie]

I was stumbling through this board when I saw your post and your story was absolutely heartbreaking to read! I see you posted this almost a month ago and I was wondering (and hoping) if everything was better between the 2 of you now.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

awww i'm so sorry you're going thru this rough time! *hugs*

all relationships go thru some rough patches, and people work thru them all the time. keep your head up high, he might come back and tell you what a horrible mistake he made letting you go.

i hope everything works out for you. keep posting if you need to, we'll help you thru this!



*hugs again!*

 

[kimbamickey]

Turns out that the distance made him detach himself from me more. We 'officially' broke up 2 weeks ago. Now I think he is seeing a girl who he works with who he probably connected to during this time (you know how happy hour relationships go). Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and pixie dust. Keep it coming because I am really struggling with all of this.

 

[kimbamickey]

Turns out that the distance made him detach himself from me more. We 'officially' broke up 2 weeks ago. Now I think he is seeing a girl who he works with who he probably connected to during this time (you know how happy hour relationships go). Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and pixie dust. Keep it coming because I am really struggling with all of this.

 

[Marty Moose]

Awww sweetie, I am so sorry you have to go through this! I know these next few weeks (months even) will be tough...but just keep reminding yourself that things happen for a reason! You can't see it now, but someday when you find your prince you'll be happy that that frog got away!

Take care!

 

[ItGirl753]

Turns out that the distance made him detach himself from me more. We 'officially' broke up 2 weeks ago. Now I think he is seeing a girl who he works with who he probably connected to during this time (you know how happy hour relationships go). Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and pixie dust. Keep it coming because I am really struggling with all of this.

Good luck! I have been through it too. I totally understand, and yes it was a really, really tough time. Sometimes I still think about him (5 years later), and your situation sounds so much the same! But now I have found someone new and have moved on. It took me a long time to find anyone I liked. Now HE wants a Disney wedding with me -- something I had never even dreamed of. Just get through one day at a time, doing whatever YOU need to do! Everyone handles these things differently. Sending you lots of and a . Hang in there!

 

[MissKris721]

Why are some boys such idiots??? There are so many of us wonderful, beautiful, kind, caring, honest girls out here and so many boys that aren't man enough to treat us the way we deserve to be treated. I am so sorry that your bf turned out to be a frog, but someday your prince will come. Keep yourself busy with friends, school (if you go), work. Love will come when you least expect it. Retail therapy also helps alot too, lol.

 

[MissyPrissy]

I was in a very simaler situtation..was with someone for 6 years, I thought we'd "eventually" marry. But the whole relationship was based on "when I fixed my problems so he could love me..." I met my DF during a very rocky time in my life. He was this guy who seemed so into me, so concerned with how I felt and what I thought...I didn't understand him at all. But he wouldn't give up on me, even though I was mistrustful and defensive and a total wreck. This man loves me totally and completely. He makes me feel good about myself and who I am, and I do the same for him, good, bad or indifferent, we love each other.

These good men ARE out there. I thank God I didn't marry a man who only saw flaws and was occasionally nice to me. "Teasing" me ie: mocking everything I did, was something he did constantly. It totally eroded my self esteem. But I have found that people do NOT have to live that way. Being treated like you matter, like you are worth something EVERYDAY is the only way to live.

Don't give up. You will find your right person. You are good enough as you are and if your ex boyfriend can't see that, then he never deserved you.

Head up young person! You will make it through the rain!

 

[happylalagirl]

Amen to that sister!! Everything that MissyPrissy said is dead on. It feels like crap and like you don't know how you'll ever make it, especially since such a huge part of your world revolved around him... but now is the time to become the strong woman you know you are. You're true love is out there somewhere and in time, he'll find you. Go out and have some fun!!! Hang out with your girlfriends and date some guys when the time is right. Don't jump into another serious relationship right away. You need time to figure things out for yourself. I've been there and done that and we ended up together, but everybody's story has a different timeline. It will get better. It's just going to take time. Know that we are all here for you when you need to chat or vent. Sending lots of your way.

Keep smiling!!

"Just when you think you couldn't hold on a minute longer, never let go then for that is just the place and time the tide will turn." Harriet Beecher Stowe

I read that quote for a year straight - every day. It helped me get through, one day at a time. You're in my prayers.

 

[BrideToBe82]

Aww I'm so sorry!! Just a suggestion...why not try couples counseling?