The DIS Support Group

[TeresaNJ]

I actually suggested a DIS Emotional Support board on Pete's thread about suggestions for new boards, and most replies were against it. My reasons were all those that Dax stated. These posts DO get lost on the CB board because most people only want to read about happy things and "fluff". Helopoh, did I suggest the website www.marriagebuilders.com to you yet? I thought I did, but it may have been someone else. It is a wonderful website that will help you get your life together, with or without your husband.

 

[Serena]

My h worked all the time. At all hours. That I could handle. It wasn't even the time that he spent with friends that upset me, too much. It was because I was always last in his mind. Everyone else, for whatever reason, any reason, was first.

 

[Dax]

Originally posted by TeresaNJ
I actually suggested a DIS Emotional Support board on Pete's thread about suggestions for new boards, and most replies were against it. My reasons were all those that Dax stated. These posts DO get lost on the CB board because most people only want to read about happy things and "fluff". Helopoh, did I suggest the website www.marriagebuilders.com to you yet? I thought I did, but it may have been someone else. It is a wonderful website that will help you get your life together, with or without your husband.

I know it was suggested to me at one time...I just havent much time to look at it yet...

Well I kinda hit rock bottom last night. I came home and found something the hubby had been working on, finding a furnished apt, that accepts pets!! Which means he is also planning on taking one if not both of the odgs with him The only upside to this is that they are weekly rentals..Do not know if that is good or bad...I cried myslef to sleep last night...again...Why oh why...

 

[Serena]

I did a lot of crying, in fact I still do. Asking myself why this and why that. I'm always trying to figure things out. You know what I've found so far. You can "why" yourself crazy. He probably doesn't know why either, or nothing he may want to say. Get counseling if you can. Limit your "why's" to then and give yourself some peace otherwise.

The only reason I am still married is because of the insurance. It'll be a little while yet before I am added to my company's insurance and they keep telling me that I'll be next in line for full time. I love the job and the people or I'd be out searching for something else as of last december.

{{{hugs}}} I know it's hard.

 

[Dax]

just bumping up...

 

[Rajah]

I'm having a bad night tonight. For some reason that I can't really pinpoint, I'm in a *really* bad mood tonight and for some other reason DH is really setting me off. You ever had one of those moods where a friend or family member can't do anything right -- even just standing in the same room makes you angry at them for no apparent reason? And they didn't start whatever made you angry?

Of course, DH has now gone to bed and I'm still angry and am going to end up going to bed angry (I wish I honestly knew what started the whole angry bit. I know that everything that has ever even slightly annoyed me has really bothered me tonight but what started it???). And I tried talking to DH and explaining I was angry and trying to talk about the things he was doing tonight that really irritated me and just made me worse. Got either the "*pat-pat-on-head* yes dear" reaction, the "come here you just need to relax" reaction (does NOT work with me. Telling me to just relax or settle down when I'm angry has the opposite effect 90% of the time, and he KNOWS that), or the need to stare at certain body parts when I am VERY MUCH not in the mood to be stared at, let alone anything more.

So now I've been upstairs fuming for an hour, needing to go to bed but unwiling to go to bed angry, not sure what set me off in the first place so unable to deal with the real source of the anger, wanting to talk to someone but having no willing ears to talk to, and not wanting to go back to bed since for some reason DH is angering me tonight and I'll just get worse. And I keep alternating between being angry in general, angry at myself, or depressed.

Maybe I'll just sleep on the couch tonight.

 

[Serena]

I've had those moods too Tammi. How are you this morning?

 

[Minniespal]

Sounds like a wonderful idea to me.

 

[EdiePA]

What a wonderful idea! I'm also separated -- 20 months worth and he still hasn't filed for the divorce (our separation agreement states that he will file and I've already spent $1700 on this separation that I didn't cause and that I didn't want.)

Helopoh, I found a great support group in DivorceCare (www.divorcecare.com) -- I've gone through it twice and it has been a lifesaver. Really helped me to see that healing is a process and that it is going to take some time. (We were married 21 years).

I used to go out to my car, made sure all of the windows were rolled up tight and then I'd scream. I also did a lot of crying in the shower, too, so that my sons didn't see. Sometimes I think that was the right thing to do, other times I think I should have let them in on more of my pain. Counselling has been great for me and for them, too.

Now, in the Fall, I'll be facing owning this huge house and the empty nest! Anyone have suggestions for that?

Hugs to everyone!
Edie

 

[Desiree]

(((((HUGS)))))) to you all.

I really think this board would be a wonderful idea.

Helopoh: I've been wondering how you have been holding up. You and Dorian are in my prayers.

I was in a very similar sitation as you all in my marraige. My ex-h wasn't very supportive, worked alot and then would come home and go straight to the computer and basically shut me and everything else out. There was no communication at all. Only occasionally would he show an inkling of support or respect. So it finally came down to a "I can't live like this anymore" situation. I was tired of doing everything. I had done and tried everything to make my marraige work. Even went on strike a few times to no avail. I eventually caved in and decided to clean everything just because I was tired of it all piling up. The separation and divorce was very hard. While we were separated, he met, moved in and eventually married someone else. Which did wonders for my self-confidance. Now his new wife and I get along very well. Yesterday she called me to tell me that (much to my suprise), Ex has agreed to go to therapy and seek help for his depression/problems. Apparently, she's gotten sick of it all too. (She's 2 months pregnant). So as I'm happy for them, I'm still a little bitter with everything that happened. It's actually confusing the way I'm feeling about it all. I'm glad for her and the baby's sake that he's going to *hopefully* get the help he needs. But I guess I'm a little jealous that he didnt try so hard when he was married to me.

On the plus side of it all, I am with a wonderful, caring, loving man. Who is willing to help out as needed, emotionally and physically.

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by Serena
I've had those moods too Tammi. How are you this morning?

Much better this morning. And DH woke me up with pancakes, which was really sweet. Now if I can just keep that mood from coming back, I'll be in good shape.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

I hate my so called silbings right now!!!!! I got unfairly roped into a battle and now I'm doing the lion's share of the house work as punishment.What am I supposed to do??? I'm going to leave the dirty work as my little bit of "you're pay for bringing me into this"

 

[s&k'smom]

Good morning all. I decided when I turned 39 in June I was going to change things. I begin seeing a therapist on Thursday, I'm cutting my hair off, I'm getting into shape and I'm gonna get a new job. One I like and won't DREAD going to. I'm also going to wait for the one that suits me not the other way around. I've finally come to the realization that my higher power has been putting opportunity in front of me and I've been too lazy to take it. So on with the new life. My DH is wonderful so I'm really lucky there he's very supportive (as a matter of fact he made my hair appointment to cut my hair off). I just wanted to wish all a great day and let's keep supporting each other.

 

[Rajah]

Good for you s&k'smom!! Good luck with the changes! When I decided to change jobs about 3 years ago, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, and one of the most frightening. But it was also one of the best. I hope your change works for you as well!

 

[s&k'smom]

thanks Raja, here's a hug!

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by s&k'smom
thanks Raja, here's a hug!

*HUGS* right back atcha!!

 

[Dax]

Hi all, how are you guys doing this week?

Just an update as to what is going on with me....

Friday night I saw my DH for the first time in 4 days...We didnt talk at all, but worked somethings out in other ways...

So that brought us to Sat. We went to SeaWorld and Universal Studios. Had a good time. Had a small melt down later that night, but it passed.

On Sunday we updated our shopping list, and also created a weekly TODO list for both of us. Basically all the things thst need to be done by the following Sunday. This way I know what needs to be done, he knows what he needs to have done, and as long as all is done by the Sunday following, both of us are happy, so both of us know when to have "free" time...So hopefully things will wrok out...this is kind a trail run at this point, but we are both speaking to each other and not yelling...So we will see,...


Glad to see this has been a benifit for people, lets keep it rolling and not let it disappear to much

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS TO ALL}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[Rajah]

Bad afternoon for me here.

My project at work is one of them. See my other post for the details, but basically my sup wants me to design to a template that gives me a headache. Another coworker had a good suggestion on how to get it to stop giving me a headache (a way of easily customizing the page to our own preferences). That's helping. But the program for some reason keeps crashing on me this afternoon which is NOT helping.

Then Tropical Storm Claudette is heading sorta this way. No, it *is* heading directly this way at the moment, but the projected path has it turning west so it'll go just south of us. But that still means we'll be on the "dirty" end of the storm. Which may or may not be a real problem. I'm just concerned because the last time we had a spring/summer this dry then had a TS come in, the storm dropped so much rain it caused the worst flooding we'd seen in the 14 years we've lived here and it ended up causing more damage than the last true hurricane to come through town. This so far is mimicing that year's conditions and I'm NOT looking forward to it. I'm always a nervous wreck in hurricane/tropical storm season anyway. One of the reasons I want to move out of Texas.

Then my mom was saying some stuff this afternoon that just dumped more stress on me. She's right, but the timing on her request/instruction is *not* helping.

Just having one of those afternoons. Shouldn't have come back to work after lunch. The day was good up until after lunch.

 

[chell]

Oh Rajah, sorry to hear that you've had such a rough afternoon. Here is a {{{HUG}}} to help you feel a little better!

Dax - I'm glad things went well this weekend!

Hello to everyone else. Here is a {{{HUG}}} for anyone else that needs it.

 

[tigercat]

Here's good thoughts for everyone.
tigercat