The Dance Mom Thread

[AZMickeyfans]

DC and DCTOO were both at NUVO with us. DCTOO put up a dance to Nasty Boys in the mini (7-10) category!!! It was, well....nasty! SAS, I'm not familiar with, but we usually only see the Phoenix studios at conventions and competitions! If they don't choose the same convention or competition as our studio, then we never see them!

TDA is supposed to be pretty good (and very age appropriate) up in your neck of the woods. Our owner/artistic director was trained at TDA. And she just hired one of her former teachers to take over as Artistic Director in the fall.

That does not surprise me! DC and DCTOO are the WORST! Plus they are psycho about competitions. We had one girl come over from there saying she dropped an earring during competition and the studio fined her and told her if she ever did that again she would be kicked off the team. YIKES maybe the post broke!! Is that her fault?!

Last year I went to a competition in NJ and was watching a friend of my daughter's solo. The number before her was billed as jazz 12-13 and i watched it with my mouth hanging open. The girl was dancing to a song I was unfamiliar with called something like, "take your clothes off but leave your hat on". She wore a black bikini and a sequined hat and she was developed for her age. She also was just missing the pole! I think that studio should have lost pts for exploiting children, but instead they took 1st place. I wonder if her father was proud. My Dh would have tied my daughter up and locked her in the closet before he let her do that!!!

No kidding, mine would have done the same thing.

 

[Diamondintheruff]

My DS (9) has been dancing since he was 3. He was accepted into our national ballet school (in Toronto Canada). He will be attending their summer program to decide whether it's the right fit for him.

It's been great to see some other mothers of male dancers posting in this thread. Maybe we should start our own thread dedicated to us. We could start with the topic of "How to convince your son to wear a dance belt for the first time". He's always been a boxer kind of a guy. Or another of my favorite topics "Where's the boys changeroom?"

 

[AZMickeyfans]

My DS (9) has been dancing since he was 3. He was accepted into our national ballet school (in Toronto Canada). He will be attending their summer program to decide whether it's the right fit for him.

It's been great to see some other mothers of male dancers posting in this thread. Maybe we should start our own thread dedicated to us. We could start with the topic of "How to convince your son to wear a dance belt for the first time". He's always been a boxer kind of a guy. Or another of my favorite topics "Where's the boys changeroom?"

WOW congrats to your DS!!!

We had a boy at our old studio in dd's class. I hear you on the Wheres the boys changing room scenario. We had to walk for miles to find him a suitable place to change in some venue's. Sometimes it was the bathroom or back in the car. They should take it into consideration more often!

 

[undercovermom]

Wow...our coach (high school dance team) won't let the girls wear anythng with a bare midriff...or anything that gives the illusion of a bare midriff.

 

[Sleepy]

"How to convince your son to wear a dance belt for the first time". He's always been a boxer kind of a guy.

Buy a full bottom dance belt in the beginning. They just fit a bit snugger than regular briefs. Then, later he can graduate into the thong back. My son really has no issues with it. The transition was gradual. My son wore brief underwear for regular use anyway, so the full bottoms were never an issue from the first time he put them on. As long as there are other boys with the same uniform requirements, they won't fight it too much. Doesn't mean they will like it and maybe grummble a bit, but that is natural.

"Where's the boys changeroom?"

In the studio, make them provide a dedicated boys changing room or demand that the girls be given a specific timeframe to get ready. Sharing won't hurt the girls. Some dance studios find nothing wrong with boys being expected to change into dance clothing at home when there is no boys dressing room and the boy refuses to use the bathroom or closet. If it is good enough for the boys, it is good enough for the girls too.
In instances of "away" performances, demand the same. If they are willing to work out a ridiculously large room for the girls to change in, tell them you will take something equally accomodating. The bathroom or closet is not only inappropriate, but also insulting. Just because the child is a boy and may be either alone or part of a very small group, it does not mean they are less worthy. The director of the school needs to make equal arrangements. Boys are in such demand that I am sure threatening to send him to another school will make them more accomodating. Kind of difficult to keep a young boy in ballet and make them feel good about themselves as it is. Dressing in a bathroom stall doesn't lift their self esteem. As long as the parents say "ok" to whatever is chunked at their kid, the director will not think there is anything wrong. I think this is why so many boys end up at the larger schools. They actually treat the boys equally. Just my opinion.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

At our local recital, there's a dedicated boys' room, just like there's a dedicated preschool room. It's just easier to corral the little ones, and put on a DVD for them--they don't have the tons of costume changes that the older girls do. And I'll tell you, if you're a backstage mom, the boy's room is MUCH easier to deal with than the girls! Of course, since I do hair, I don't get to do the boy's room, but it's a much easier deal than all the girls.

I'm not sure about our other studio, but DD does have 3 boys in her combo class, so they must do something. this is her first year of dancing with B-O-Y-S in ballet. She complained at first, but now she thinks the lifts are fun.

 

[missypie]

My son took dance for 8 years; he didn't compete, but endured the "Men's Room as Dressing Room" for 8 recitals. The early years were tough. One time he had these pants with complicated attached suspenders. He kept coming out with them on wrong....I sent him back to the men's room three times before he got them right.

Even at Nationals last year, where a decent handful of boys were competing, the boy's dressing room was the men's room.

We finally got DS a dance belt. He always ended up in stretchy black pants and after he "blossomed" it was obvious that he needed one.

 

[Diamondintheruff]

He always ended up in stretchy black pants

I think it's the standard uniform. My son just looks at all the sparkly girl costumes and sighs. He's so sick of stretchy black pants, a plain dress shirt and tie.

Maybe I'll suggest suspenders next time for him.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I think it's the standard uniform. My son just looks at all the sparkly girl costumes and sighs. He's so sick of stretchy black pants, a plain dress shirt and tie.

And I look at the boys and think, "Oh it would be so nice to just change the shirt and shoes!"

The grass is always greener...

 

[AboutTheMouse]

Costumes, boys and dressing rooms -- had to chime in on this one.

Some of the girls' costumes that we've seen at competitions would make my relatives turn in their graves! The worst ever was a group of 7-8 girls who wore small electric aqua blue bikini bottoms, bikini tops and black leather like chaps. Yes, chaps. I don't remember their music, but I sure remember their costumes. Never, never, never!!! What was even more shocking is that they won a "best costume" award. This was our first competition year and I remember thinking to myself "what did I get us into"?? Our director even brought it up at the next team meeting and promised us that she would never do that to our girls. Thank god!

For the boys, I've always seen signs for a boys changing room at competitions. They do deserve the type of space that the girls get, but I bet that they have more room - we're usually pretty crowded. I even saw one mom's solution - a pop up portable changing room (like a tent). It seemed perfect so that her son could have a little privacy. Not ideal, but a solution when the rest of the dance world won't provide for the boys.

How many of your kids have dealt with injuries? Are their teachers understanding? We're in the midst of that now and it could take a while to get resolved. DD bruised a bone in her ankle and we also found out that she has an extra bone in her ankle as well. She spent 4 weeks in a boot, competed three days after coming out of it, began having pain again and is now doing physical therapy. She is so concerned about not being able to compete after working so hard this year. I'm so concerned about her doing permanent damage that could affect her growth.

 

[luvflorida]

How many of your kids have dealt with injuries? Are their teachers understanding?

I'd love to hear answers to these questions as well! to your daughter. It's so hard when they injure themselves and you know that they're just chomping at the bit to get right back out there and dance.

The worst injury my daughter has dealt with so far was a second degree ankle sprain. About a year and a half ago, she was doing a leap in jazz class and landed wrong. The instructor knew within minutes that my daughter had sprained her ankle, she just wasn't sure how bad it was. The ER confirmed a sprain. She had to wear an ankle boot for several weeks and could not dance for about four/five weeks. Luckily, it was between competitions so she didn't miss out on competing.

The competition girls are required to attend dance classes even if they're injured (within reason of course) and they observe and/or do whatever they're capable of. The director/instructors at my daughter's studio are all very understanding when an injury occurs. They acknowledge how difficult and frustrating it is to NOT be able to dance when you want to dance so badly.

Other than the sprained ankle, my daughter deals daily with the usual bumps and bruises that come with the territory. She's had awful blisters on her feet, ripped skin, bloodied knees, and too many bruises to count. She gets her worst black and blue marks, skinned knees and feet from doing modern dance. She performs a lot of numbers where she seems to be always hitting the floor somehow. Ironically, she's never gotten injured doing acro, breakdance, or hip hop.

ETA: My daughter never seems to worry about injuries and is always willing and eager to try just about any kind of dance movement, but I'm always thinking of how easy it is to get injured! She takes a weekly private lesson at the local gymnastics center, and I usually don't have her go on the week before a dance performance or competition. Too risky! She had a gymnastics lesson this morning and when I went to pick her up, the instructor had taught her a new skill- running up to a mat that was standing straight against the wall and jumping and hitting it with her feet so that she was turning completely upside down and landing on the floor. Think Donald O'Connor in "Singing in the Rain". THAT I didn't really want to watch!!!!

 

[missypie]

Last year my daughter had hamstring issues. Her drill team did two kicks in a row. That's basically a month of kicking 5 days a week, 90 minutes a day. Once she was able to give it a true rest (over Christmas) it was fine. The teachers were good about it, but she was always afraid to mention it-she still wanted to be able to perform the dances. At the last game she was sitting on an ice pack!

 

[Sleepy]

And I'll tell you, if you're a backstage mom, the boy's room is MUCH easier to deal with than the girls!

I'd like to know what those boys were taking for them to be easier. The ones I ever dealt with wanted to wrestle, run around, fight, take off and destroy parts of their costume, mess up their hair and make up.......you name it, the boys are NOT easier to deal with. Try getting small boys to get dressed in a timely fashion and then patiently stand still until it is their time on stage. Try finding a Dad who is willing to be in the dressing room to control the boys. Remember, moms can't be in the boys dressing room anymore than dads are allowed in the girls dressing room.

My son is older now, but I am glad we are at a school where there is no such thing as "backstage parents". All the kids are age 8 and above and are expected to get ready by themselves and with the assistance of each other.

 

[Sleepy]

My son's school is very understanding of injuries as long as the student did not do something stupid to inflict the injury. Falling off a skateboard and breaking an ankle is not looked at fondly.

 

[missypie]

My son is older now, but I am glad we are at a school where there is no such thing as "backstage parents". All the kids are age 8 and above and are expected to get ready by themselves and with the assistance of each other.

This weekend was my first year of not having to help DD dress backstage. She's in high school now, and we felt it was time. There is one girl who is a Senior in HS whose mom still comes back to help her change.

Of course, if they ever do anything that requires serious hair and makeup intervention (like last year's scary dolls), I'm sure I'll be backstage again.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

I think it's the standard uniform. My son just looks at all the sparkly girl costumes and sighs. He's so sick of stretchy black pants, a plain dress shirt and tie.

Maybe I'll suggest suspenders next time for him.

Suspenders would be awesome IMO! I hope they go for it as that would look so cool!

Costumes, boys and dressing rooms -- had to chime in on this one.

Some of the girls' costumes that we've seen at competitions would make my relatives turn in their graves! The worst ever was a group of 7-8 girls who wore small electric aqua blue bikini bottoms, bikini tops and black leather like chaps. Yes, chaps. I don't remember their music, but I sure remember their costumes. Never, never, never!!! What was even more shocking is that they won a "best costume" award. This was our first competition year and I remember thinking to myself "what did I get us into"?? Our director even brought it up at the next team meeting and promised us that she would never do that to our girls. Thank god!

For the boys, I've always seen signs for a boys changing room at competitions. They do deserve the type of space that the girls get, but I bet that they have more room - we're usually pretty crowded. I even saw one mom's solution - a pop up portable changing room (like a tent). It seemed perfect so that her son could have a little privacy. Not ideal, but a solution when the rest of the dance world won't provide for the boys.

How many of your kids have dealt with injuries? Are their teachers understanding? We're in the midst of that now and it could take a while to get resolved. DD bruised a bone in her ankle and we also found out that she has an extra bone in her ankle as well. She spent 4 weeks in a boot, competed three days after coming out of it, began having pain again and is now doing physical therapy. She is so concerned about not being able to compete after working so hard this year. I'm so concerned about her doing permanent damage that could affect her growth.

Dd had a very bad sprain last year. This was not the result of dancing it was the result of dh and her being too wild on the trampoline . Anyway, she was required to come to class and observe every day and then she would stretch when she was able to warm up a bit in her little boot. She was out 5 weeks. She hated it terribly.

to your dd. Here is hoping to a speedy and safe recovery. I agree about the long term damage. There is always next year to compete. She needs time to heal properly.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

I dress dd backstage and I've seen several of those popup tent type rooms for both boys and girls to dress in.

 

[Diamondintheruff]

I'm going to keep my eyes open for a pop-up tent. Thanks for the idea.

 

[cabanafrau]

We finally broke down & built a changing booth last year. We used PVC piping & elbows w/ shower curtains for the walls. There is even a bar on the inside for hanging the costumes on. We cemented elbows in place to one bar & tried to keep most pieces of piping the same length so it doesn't matter where they go back in the booth. The top pieces are set up so the biggest portion of the shower curtains remain attached to the bars when disassembled. The whole thing breaks down or goes back up within 3 min & fits in a duffle bag.

 

[undercovermom]

Costumes, boys and dressing rooms -- had to chime in on this one.

Some of the girls' costumes that we've seen at competitions would make my relatives turn in their graves! The worst ever was a group of 7-8 girls who wore small electric aqua blue bikini bottoms, bikini tops and black leather like chaps. Yes, chaps. I don't remember their music, but I sure remember their costumes. Never, never, never!!! What was even more shocking is that they won a "best costume" award. This was our first competition year and I remember thinking to myself "what did I get us into"?? Our director even brought it up at the next team meeting and promised us that she would never do that to our girls. Thank god!

For the boys, I've always seen signs for a boys changing room at competitions. They do deserve the type of space that the girls get, but I bet that they have more room - we're usually pretty crowded. I even saw one mom's solution - a pop up portable changing room (like a tent). It seemed perfect so that her son could have a little privacy. Not ideal, but a solution when the rest of the dance world won't provide for the boys.

How many of your kids have dealt with injuries? Are their teachers understanding? We're in the midst of that now and it could take a while to get resolved. DD bruised a bone in her ankle and we also found out that she has an extra bone in her ankle as well. She spent 4 weeks in a boot, competed three days after coming out of it, began having pain again and is now doing physical therapy. She is so concerned about not being able to compete after working so hard this year. I'm so concerned about her doing permanent damage that could affect her growth.

ah, injuries...

older dd, the cheerleader, has injured herself several times at cherleading practice and competitions. sprained wrist, sprained elbow, broken fingers...it's a school team and her coaches couldn't have been nicer.younger dd, the dancer...when she was taking studio dance (non competitive), she sprained an ankle playing lacrosse...the following year she broke a bone in her foot playing lacrosse (she no longer plays lacrosse ), and since joining the school team she had her finger in a splint when she dislocated a tendon. it's never been a problem.