The Dance Mom Thread

[luvflorida]

I feel SO bad for all of the dancers with injuries. It's so frustrating to not be able to do something you love so much. I'm sending to everyone for a quick recovery so that you can very soon!

Last weekend, my daughter danced with her comp team at a benefit for Autism, and this weekend they're dancing at a cure for breast cancer benefit. I really like that her studio participates in benefits and performances that give back to the community. And it's so much less stressful than the competitions!

She has a competition coming up the last weekend in March. She competes in a small group hip hop number, a modern trio, and a modern solo. She has been doing fantastic with her solo number. It's kind of different and she had a fabulous choreographer for the piece. I'll try to post a few pics of it when I get a chance.

Unfortunately, she also has a dance event that same weekend with the modern dance company that she's apprenticing with. We're hoping the scheduling will work out so that she can do both events. We won't know until a week or so before the competition because that's the soonest a schedule will be available. Crossing our fingers that she can participate in both!

Good luck to anyone competing this weekend! Have fun!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

My DD's company just started work on a lyrical....they are dancing to an a capella version of the National Anthem. I think that's kind of weird. Will the audience be expected to stand?

As a military member, I would stand which would probably invite others around me to stand. However, I do think it is an odd choice of music to dance to. Personally, I don't think a dance should be choreograpehd to the National Anthem, and I probably would have said something to the choreographer/director.

No competition this weekend, but we have a community performance. DD1 is doing her Praise (lyrical dance set to religious based music) and Hip Hop dances. And DD2 is doing her jazz number. DD1 may also do her trio, but I'll find out about that this afternoon. It gets interesting since the venue has limited to no changing areas.

 

[missypie]

As a military member, I would stand which would probably invite others around me to stand. However, I do think it is an odd choice of music to dance to. Personally, I don't think a dance should be choreograpehd to the National Anthem, and I probably would have said something to the choreographer/director.

Yeah, I think it's odd, but it will probably be quite moving. A couple of years ago they did a lyrical to a non-musical narration about 9/11 that came in second at Grand Nationals. Do you think the judges will stand?

Of course, people have varying viewpoints about liturgical dance, too.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

Of course, people have varying viewpoints about liturgical dance, too.

I agree! One thing I really like about the Praise comapnies is that they do not compete. The studio wants to keep the focus of the dance on praising God, not scoring well. So Praise companies do lots of community performances and recital. We do several performances at assisted living facilities each year, and the Praise companies usually headline those! And one of the local churches invites us to perform at their services in the late Spring.

As far as the jusdges standing, I really don't know. They may, but I venture to guess they will remain seated and continue talking into their recorders critiquing the dance.

 

[missypie]

I agree! One thing I really like about the Praise comapnies is that they do not compete. The studio wants to keep the focus of the dance on praising God, not scoring well. So Praise companies do lots of community performances and recital. We do several performances at assisted living facilities each year, and the Praise companies usually headline those! And one of the local churches invites us to perform at their services in the late Spring.

As far as the jusdges standing, I really don't know. They may, but I venture to guess they will remain seated and continue talking into their recorders critiquing the dance.

We see companies dancing to Christian music on occasion at competition. A couple of weekends at JUMP there was a group in rather skimpy costumes-not trashy, but short, halter, with a big slit all the way up....I was wondering "What would Jesus think?"

 

[undercovermom]

One of the girls on my daughter's school team is quitting at the end of the year, she wants to go back to what my daughter calls "the Christian studio", I think she means something church-based.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

One of the girls on my daughter's school team is quitting at the end of the year, she wants to go back to what my daughter calls "the Christian studio", I think she means something church-based.

At least she is waiting to the end of the year! We had one family quit 6 weeks before recital (fortunately after all the competitions) last year. It was a complete nightmare respacing so many dances that close to recital (company and just regular recital dances). That family (3 dancers) actually auditioned again in the summer and the mom got her nose out of joint that her daughters were NOT put in any of the competitive companies (they were only placed in our Praise companies which do not compete). A few weeks into this season, they went to another studio, but they are still not competing this year.

This year, a different girl quit at semester. After the dances were learned, but early enough to respace before any competitions.

 

[missypie]

At least she is waiting to the end of the year! We had one family quit 6 weeks before recital (fortunately after all the competitions) last year. It was a complete nightmare respacing so many dances that close to recital (company and just regular recital dances). That family (3 dancers) actually auditioned again in the summer and the mom got her nose out of joint that her daughters were NOT put in any of the competitive companies (they were only placed in our Praise companies which do not compete). A few weeks into this season, they went to another studio, but they are still not competing this year.

This year, a different girl quit at semester. After the dances were learned, but early enough to respace before any competitions.

Last year a girl quit our senior company 5 days before a competition because she wanted to attend a party instead of the competition. The remaining girls had to work into the night to redo the choreography without her. Her younger sister was also in company; she just stopped coming to dance two weeks before Nationals so the director had to call and tell her not to come back.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

to all the injured dancers!

I can't believe the parents would actually LET girls just drop out like that! Injuries are one thing, and I understand about tricky family problems like a death in the family, but my DD would NOT be dropping out to go to a party, or just not showing up, or whatever. NO WAY!!! Seriously, I see that more of a parenting issue. Maybe a 5yo who doesn't want to continue, I could see. But once they hit ~7 or 8, they can understand about working as a team and people counting on you.

 

[dancin_princess]

im not a mom (yet, some day in the future ) but i am a former dancer myself (too busy to do it now) and in the future, if i do have a girl i want her to be a dancer.

 

[AboutTheMouse]

:
I can't believe the parents would actually LET girls just drop out like that! Injuries are one thing, and I understand about tricky family problems like a death in the family, but my DD would NOT be dropping out to go to a party, or just not showing up, or whatever. NO WAY!!! Seriously, I see that more of a parenting issue. Maybe a 5yo who doesn't want to continue, I could see. But once they hit ~7 or 8, they can understand about working as a team and people counting on you.

I completely agree. With our studio, if you accept the opportunity to be in the company, you are expected to attend every competition. If you are injured, come and cheer the rest of the team on. It is part of being a "team". Nationals for us are considered optional, but you better have a really good reason for not attending. There are exceptions made for death in the family or other important unavoidable situations. There is no quitting in the middle of the season. The dancers accept this - even the little ones. As the director once said - if you are sick on competition day, go out and dance the best you can. You can throw up after you've left the stage. (Tongue in cheek; I think that if this were a real situation, it might wind up different in actuality)

I have a friend who's DD danced at another studio. The girl's grandparent passed away the week before competition. She had to go out of town for the funeral and the family made arrangements so that she could fly back in time for the competition that weekend. She came back and went to the competition and the director wouldn't let her compete because she missed rehersal during the week prior to competition. For an out of town funeral for her grandparent. The girl was still required to attend the competition, but couldn't dance. Needless to say, she doesn't dance there anymore.

 

[AboutTheMouse]

Dislurker, I can really feel for your daughter with her injury. As I probably wrote before, we are dealing with the effects of some ongoing ankle issues and surgery is a very real possibility. I know that my DD would be crushed if she missed the season.

Is there a way she can remain involved with her team? Continue to work on her flexibility or her arms or just be there to be the team cheerleader? This might help keep her spirits up. If she's mobile, maybe she can help the little ones in their classes.

No competitions for us this weekend. Our next one is Rainbow Connection the last weekend in March.

For the duet mom, I hope that it all works out and that the other girl doesn't pull out at the last minute. You have a lot of time (and $$) invested in this dance already, I'm sure.

 

[missypie]

to all the injured dancers!

I can't believe the parents would actually LET girls just drop out like that! Injuries are one thing, and I understand about tricky family problems like a death in the family, but my DD would NOT be dropping out to go to a party, or just not showing up, or whatever. NO WAY!!! Seriously, I see that more of a parenting issue. Maybe a 5yo who doesn't want to continue, I could see. But once they hit ~7 or 8, they can understand about working as a team and people counting on you.

With those sisters it was definitely a parenting issue, or rather, a non-parenting issue. The parents have adopted a "hands off" attitude, with the philosophy that this is their activity, so they make all decisions relating to it. And that's what you get-a 15 year old deciding it's more important to go to a party than to keep her commitments to her team mates.

 

[disneygals]

She came back and went to the competition and the director wouldn't let her compete because she missed rehersal during the week prior to competition. For an out of town funeral for her grandparent. The girl was still required to attend the competition, but couldn't dance. Needless to say, she doesn't dance there anymore.

This is the kind of thing that our former studio owner would do.

I actually came on here to vent...we left a cruddy studio and are so happy where we are now. So, of course my dd15 now has to deal with the same kind of nincompoopery at her HS theater group. I really question some of these power hungry directors. I think they feel so little for the kids' self esteem. We live in a small town and these actvities are supposed to be fun. I want to scream at him...This is NOT broadway!!

Thanks, I am better now!

 

[cabanafrau]

Wow, I guess everyone must have missed the memo -- they're not power-hungry, they're just preparing them for what the real dance world is like when they move into becoming professionals!

Sure, some of the graduates have gone on to perform professionally -- and at least one has done choreography & directing for major hollywood movies. But the reality is most dancers, even phenomenally talented ones, aren't going to make it their profession. I wish the focus on achieving the very best for the satisfaction of the accomplishment itself could be a lot clearer most days.

DD has a friend from her team who is out pending being able to have knee surgery. The poor thing may never be able to come back to dance. She doesn't routinely see any of the other girls outside of dance, as she attends a different school from anyone else on the team. The girls have made it a point & she has reached out from her end to keep the contact tight. The other night DD & a group of her friends were out celebrating getting their pointe shoes . During the celebration they were all dialing friends like mad to share their news. They called their injured teammate, who was not eligible yet for pointe anyway. I know my stomach did a flip when I heard who was on the phone because I thought it would be salt in her wound. To her amazing credit, she didn't seem phased by it & was genuinely happy for her friends -- what a great kid!!!!!

My heart goes out to all these kids who are injured & can't follow their dream right now. My very best to all of them for speedy & full recoveries.

 

[missypie]

On the issue of the girl not being able to compete due to being gone for a funeral, some studios, gyms and athletic teams have written policies that say that if you miss the last practice before a competition, meet, game, you don't play. Period. No matter if you were sick, had a death in the family or just skipped.

 

[Sleepy]

in the future, if i do have a girl i want her to be a dancer.

You just might be surprised by the decisions of your future children. What we want does not always happen and often what we never expect is the reality. Boys can be dancers too.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

On the issue of the girl not being able to compete due to being gone for a funeral, some studios, gyms and athletic teams have written policies that say that if you miss the last practice before a competition, meet, game, you don't play. Period. No matter if you were sick, had a death in the family or just skipped.

Too true. It is written right in to our contract that competitions are mandatory, and if you miss the Saturday rehearsals the week before a competition, you don't compete. They will make exceptions on a case by case basis, but I have seen it enforced.

We just got our show order for this weekend, and I am going to be busy with costume changes! Out of 23 dances: DD1 is in dance 1, 7 and 18. DD2 is in dance 2. And wouldn't you know, the more difficult costume change (out of tan tights into fishnets) is the one from 1 to 7. Ugh!

 

[missypie]

You just might be surprised by the decisions of your future children. What we want does not always happen and often what we never expect is the reality. Boys can be dancers too.

Ain't that the truth! I love that I have dancers-I always wanted to dance but I swear I didn't push them into it. I NEVER thought I'd have a gymnast and that would have been one of the last things I would have chosen for a child of mine. But DD12 has spent about the last 8 years devoted to gymnastics. (The LAST thing would be cheerleading-DD12's tryouts are this afternoon!)

I always wanted a cello player. Not a string player among them. I always wanted to be a band mom. They are all choir kids.

You just give them opportunites and they gravitate toward what they enjoy.

 

[disneygals]

Wow, I guess everyone must have missed the memo -- they're not power-hungry, they're just preparing them for what the real dance world is like when they move into becoming professionals! .

I do think that is what they think.

We've been involved in a community Nutcracker for 7 years. The director has danced professionally and currently teaches in NYC with well-known dancers. He NEVER yells, knows just when to push and when to praise. It is a fun, joyous experience for the kids and parents (they are SO grateful for the volunteers) You are allowed some conflicts. One year my dd had to miss dress rehearsal for a school concert and yet the show still went on . They usually have over 200 kids. It can be done!

One of the older girls injured her foot and was the Arabian Queen and snow court. They worked with her to see her progress, ended up not replacing her in Snow and let her do Arabian since it wasn't on pointe. So many directors would just say that's it, you're out.