karajeboo
DISmom by land and by sea!
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2007
- Messages
- 6,591
Yes, Im back, and yes, there has been a new sighting. I swear, yall, I couldnt make this stuff up!
Just minding my own business, entertaining our 4th of July guests, when I check my email and find a notice from our community recreation director, titled Monkey Wanted. I dont pay any attention and skip over it for the more important emails out there, you know, ways for me to increase my stamina, and be a tiger in bed! OK, so not that important, but important enough for me to get them into my junk mail folder before Ally sees them! How to explain those! In fact, how in the world can they not catch these people for sending out such disgusting and explicit ads through email???
Anyway, Monkey Wanted has been forgotten until I get a phone call from my neighbor.
Did you see the news?
Uh, no, why?
We have a wild monkey loose in the neighborhood!
Now its my turn to yell, &%*#$!!!!!! Just wait until Jeff hears this one!
Turns out that a home near the front of the subdivision, near the common areas, has spotted a wild Japanese Snow Monkey in their backyard.
The Florida Wildlife Commission is hot on his trail now, even setting out infrared cameras in the woods to track his movements. OK, no offense to these experts but if you can track him, why cant you catch him??? These monkey can carry some Herpes virus which can be fatal to humans. I know this cause you know that Ive been all over the internet checking out Japanese Snow Monkeys. They are about 2 ½ feet tall and 40 lbs, so this is no tiny monkey! Makes ya wanna say spunky monkey, doesnt it! Cmon, you know youre sing songing it right now Spunky Monkey!
So now if I dont get bitten by the poisonous snakes that are apparently as much a part of Wal-Mart as Sam and all his choices, I can look forward to a monkey attack . In my own yard!!!!
Yesterday morning Im sitting on our newly laid and yet to be finished patio, when I see something in the woods just behind the house. In the tree. Right at the edge of our property so only about 30 yards from where I sit. Making lots of noise chewing on the tree branch.
I slooooowly edge to the door, run in and yell, THE MONKEY, THE MONKEY, THE MONKEY IS IN OUR YARD!
Jeff, who up until that moment had been sound asleep on the couch, jumps up, runs to the back door and jumps into a karate pose
(why, Ill never know he knows nothing about karate!), staring out the door, arms raised, feet shoulder width apart, crouched down, ready to take on the spunky monkey. My very own crouching tiger, hidden dragon, except that Jeff has no clue where he is at that moment, hes still trying to shake the sleep from his eyes, but hes ready for the monkey, which, it turns out, is not the spunky monkey.
Its a squirrel. In the tree. Gnawing on the branch. Oops. My bad.
I think I may be headed for divorce court now.
Just minding my own business, entertaining our 4th of July guests, when I check my email and find a notice from our community recreation director, titled Monkey Wanted. I dont pay any attention and skip over it for the more important emails out there, you know, ways for me to increase my stamina, and be a tiger in bed! OK, so not that important, but important enough for me to get them into my junk mail folder before Ally sees them! How to explain those! In fact, how in the world can they not catch these people for sending out such disgusting and explicit ads through email???
Anyway, Monkey Wanted has been forgotten until I get a phone call from my neighbor.
Did you see the news?
Uh, no, why?
We have a wild monkey loose in the neighborhood!
Now its my turn to yell, &%*#$!!!!!! Just wait until Jeff hears this one!
Turns out that a home near the front of the subdivision, near the common areas, has spotted a wild Japanese Snow Monkey in their backyard.
The Florida Wildlife Commission is hot on his trail now, even setting out infrared cameras in the woods to track his movements. OK, no offense to these experts but if you can track him, why cant you catch him??? These monkey can carry some Herpes virus which can be fatal to humans. I know this cause you know that Ive been all over the internet checking out Japanese Snow Monkeys. They are about 2 ½ feet tall and 40 lbs, so this is no tiny monkey! Makes ya wanna say spunky monkey, doesnt it! Cmon, you know youre sing songing it right now Spunky Monkey!
So now if I dont get bitten by the poisonous snakes that are apparently as much a part of Wal-Mart as Sam and all his choices, I can look forward to a monkey attack . In my own yard!!!!
Yesterday morning Im sitting on our newly laid and yet to be finished patio, when I see something in the woods just behind the house. In the tree. Right at the edge of our property so only about 30 yards from where I sit. Making lots of noise chewing on the tree branch.
I slooooowly edge to the door, run in and yell, THE MONKEY, THE MONKEY, THE MONKEY IS IN OUR YARD!
Jeff, who up until that moment had been sound asleep on the couch, jumps up, runs to the back door and jumps into a karate pose
Its a squirrel. In the tree. Gnawing on the branch. Oops. My bad.
I think I may be headed for divorce court now.
He looks really scarey! I can't believe they haven't caught him yet - are you sure it's not a miniature sasquatch????
I just checked out your PTR too and posted on there. Where are you from in WV? Jeff was born in Weirton and both his parents are from there origninally. And living in Ohio, we used to go to Wheeling to see the lights in Oglelby (sp?) at Christmas. 
She agreed. No new paint. Agreed. No new pink lacey drapes. Agreed. Yeah, we'll see.....
Are you asking for a dart gun for Christmas this year?
