The Clampets Do Disney

UKANGEL

Champagne Girls Rule!
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Jun 19, 2002
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On Tour with the Clampets

....the Pre-show...

Directed by:
Angel (Mandy) – Control freak, veteran of 14 trips, organizer extraordinaire
Chunkster20uk (Mark) – also a control freak, and chief driver

Produced (& financed) by:
Dad – Grandpa Clampet – lovable, impatient & grumpy
Mum – Grandma Clampet – also loveable, much more patient and not so grumpy (but very hard of hearing)

Choreography:
Isobelle (Izzy) – age 12, already a Diva

Chief Jester:
Elliott – age 14, a lovable 6ft 4inch streak of lightning

..and starring..
Becky – 19 – my dd, beautiful, talented, takes after her Mum
Paul – 22 - Becky’s bf, no idea what he’s let himself in for….
Tracey – my little sis, hates planning, and being told what to do…
Chris – BIL – see above
Jess – 17 – chief mourner, pining for her bf back in Swindon

All the holidaymakers have done Disney before, sis & family just once in 2001, for Mum & Dad it’s their 4th visit in 6 years, Paul was here 10 years ago…and Mark, Becky and I have racked up nearly 30 trips between us…..

OK, so let’s set the scene…picture if you will, a conservatory in deepest darkest Essex, back in Easter 2006……12 people are discussing next year’s Clampet Family holiday (that’s not our name but it really, really suited us in Florida…does anyone remember The Beverley Hill Billies?)

Lots of suggestions are made but gradually the insidious and manipulative 2 sisters manage to wheedle their way round to suggesting Florida as a great option for 2007. Somehow, before he’s had time to clutch his wallet and count the mothballs, Grandpa Clampet has been persuaded to book 2 weeks in Florida for 10 of his adoring family. (Paul’s add-on came later) Brother and his wife declare it’s their idea of hell so decline the wonderful offer (weirdo’s) but the rest of us shout “hurrah”! and it’s hugs all round for our lovely parents. We do make one concession to Dad, and agree (very, very reluctantly) to let him book through Travel City Direct, rather than let us do it our way……why oh why did we do this???? Now we just have 18 months to wait and plan……and plan…and wait……

Fast forward to October 2007….

Thursday 18th

Today we’re travelling to Gatwick Airport, and I thought it would be a pretty chilled day. A nice long soak in the bath, sit and have my hair pampered for a couple of hours. Nice! Well, it was in a way, Mark had the day off at the last minute, so he was able to drive me to the hairdressers, and take the cat over to the cattery. While I sat in my massage chair having my hair washed he was doing chores…great start to the holiday eh? Picked me up at 12 (at least I have great hair) and we popped in to the Griffin, opposite the salon by the river at Caversham for a spot of lunch…this is the life!

While Mark then went over to Tadley to pick up Paul from his home, and Becky from college, I finished off the packing…all those last minute bits like straighteners, make-up….you know what I mean ladies. Amid several texts from my sister, who was still at work at School, and phone calls from Mum (hello dear….can you spare a few minutes?...NO Mum!) I was starting to get very excited. Then Becky got home and was very stressed. She emptied out the packing I’d helped her do earlier in the week all over room ….Paul disappeared downstairs with a grunt and a groan and I was dispatched to help her…again! My obsessive daughter (you wouldn’t think it from her room) wanted it all packed again in an orderly fashion…..big deep breath, and here we go again then my sweet….are you sure you need all those shoes (pot to kettle), and all those jeans?

It all gets done though, as it always does, and when Tracey calls to say the bus is a little late picking them up Mark decided to call our taxi and delay them picking us up til 6.15. We’ve booked a mini bus from Swindon to take us M4 lot to Gatwick, stopping for us in Reading, but have decided to save a bit of time by getting a taxi up to Savacentre at Junction 12 and meet them there. The traffic could be horrendous so every little helps…and the sooner we start the sooner the holiday starts!

Just after 5.30 Tracey reports the coach has arrived…yes, the coach, not mini bus…..for all of us 9 people we now have a 40 seater coach…okay! Here come the Clampets! Our taxi arrives at 6 rather than 6.15 and finds us very unprepared. Becky dashes off to the loo, I run and grab my bag and cardigan at the last minute..it all suddenly feels very rushed. Outside I start to laugh as the taxi looks very like a black hearse…great start!...complete with Lurch the driver….it’s the Addams family holiday! Lurch is very grumpy (we have a bad record of grumpy taxi drivers) and drives like a maniac, with all our 5 cases and 4 cabin bags crammed into the back. Through the rush hour traffic in Reading to Junction 12.

I hadn’t realized how cold it is and Becky is soon moaning (No, I said, of course you won’t need to take a coat – oops!) We’re all dressed for our holiday standing shivering at the coach stop outside Savacentre, surrounded by a pile of suitcases…if you saw us I bet you laughed! A quick text from sis tells us they’re just pulling off the M4 and to look out for a big white coach with a mad lady waving out the window…that’ll be my sis then!

Dissolve into hysterics at the size of the coach…lots of shoppers and travellers standing at the bus stop hope the bus is for them, until they see the family aboard…they all seem to change their minds quickly somehow! We’re quickly loaded on board with plenty of room to have a row to ourselves (and then some! We should have sold seats to more people) This time the driver is lovely and friendly with a great sense of humour, thank goodness. He’d have to be, driving the Clampets! He groans at my sister’s singing (he must have heard it before) and turns the music up and we set off just before 6.30. We’re all in that mildly hysterical ‘I’m going to Disney’ mood…apart from niece no.1 (Jess) who is sobbing at having to leave her boyfriend behind in Swindon…she does this most of the holiday btw. I’m expecting a bad journey at this time of the evening but we’re really pretty lucky and apart from a couple of slow spots we make good time, (it takes about 90 minutes from Reading) and when Mum rings my mobile I can say we’re just 10 minutes away. My parents have already arrived from Essex and are checked in to the Europa, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their favourite daughters (OK they only have 2).

I have obviously spoken too soon about the easy journey however, as our driver has ‘lost’ our hotel, apparently it’s not where he thought it was…great! A great comedy moment follows as I try to call Mum on her (new) mobile phone. She has trouble hearing at the best of times and in the busy hotel is oblivious to its ringing apparently. After several attempts she replies “Oh hello dear….The name of the road? I don’t know…..Can I ask the what??.....who????...oh yes I’ll ask the barman…..(apparently he’s eastern European…it all adds to the comedy) I think you just turn left after Gatwick says Dad……..Barman says its Morecombe Road…what, like Eric Morecombe??.....Mum, ask him to spell it for you……yes dear, that’s BALCOMBE Road….oooookayyyyyyy!!!!!!!” I said it started with a ‘B’ in the first place…..told Mark off for leaving the hotel details in the case!

So, back onto the M23 and off at the next junction then….not so very near the airport then! Round a roundabout just the 3 times while our driver gets his bearings (are we practicing for the rides?) and we arrive…at last!

Driver unloads us and breathes a sigh of relief before heading off into the sunset (literally). Corvus Travel were great actually, very good value and extremely friendly if you ever need to book a car from Swindon area. The hotel is an older style hotel, somewhat dated and a little scruffy I feel. There are bits of plaster off the walls in the corridors and the rooms and reception are very cold. It takes forever to check in as they have messed up the rooms. We’d booked 5 rooms in all, 3 doubles (for us, Becky & bf, Mum & Dad), and a twin and triple for sis and her lot as they don’t do a big enough family room. We got the 3 doubles but Tracey got a double which her DH and son had to share (both over 6ft 4!), and a triple miles from the other rooms that she and the girls shared. We’re not happy as we’d called to confirm all the details…not a good start. They’re freezing rooms but adequate and clean for £55 a night. Next time I’d pay more and go back to the Hilton or Sofitel though. Book our shuttle bus for the morning at 7.15 then dump our bags and meet in the lounge which is unfortunately right by the open front doors….OMG it’s cold! Down a couple of alcoholic beverages (we’re on holiday!) and order some food and ask if we can eat it upstairs which they agree to (think they want to get rid of us).

Up the stairs is a restaurant where they serve a carvery meal for around £20 I think. We don’t want this, the bar menu is fine by us but there are some small tables and chairs outside the restaurant where we can all sit and it’s much warmer. Food is pretty good when it arrives (scampi for me) but a little pricey as you’d expect. Becky manages to get some veggie fajitas and onion rings so that’s good (being a vegan is often a problem when we dine out). The scampi/chips, burger/chips (Mark), veggie soup (Paul), Becky’s meal and some drinks come to £41…it’d be much less in Florida!!

After dinner and some more drinks and lots of chat, Mark and I have surprises for everyone. We have put together some ‘fun’ bags for each group. In a Disney bag we’ve put a disposable waterproof camera, a copy of Steve’s map, some Disney flannels, pens, notebooks, sweets, badges, a copy of the very carefully planned Itinerary (took me ages) and an invite to Mark’s Birthday celebrations. Now, this last one is a big surprise for everyone but Becky & Paul, who are in on the secret. Mark has booked rooms at the Hard Rock Hotel for us all on his birthday (24th), as he bought everyone Universal passes for Christmas too and wanted everyone to really enjoy their time there. It’s also a crafty way of making sure we are doing what he’d like to for his Birthday…great idea darling! We give clues on the invites, with little pictures of the Hard Rock, and Spiderman etc and the kids soon guess where we’re headed and everyone seems very excited, which is nice.

A couple more drinks see us on our way to bed, with dire warnings to all that we must be in reception by 7 am the next morning…as if anyone would be late!!
 
I'm reading right behind Sue, and expecting this report to be the treat your intro promises, Mandy. Thanks for the smiles.
 
I'm here Mandy - looking forward to reading all about the adventures of the Clampets :thumbsup2
 

A great start. Off to read some more :thumbsup2
 
Thanks everyone....it'll never be a Stringer Classic Sue Ellen but I can only aspire.....:thumbsup2
 
sounds like an amazing holiday and the surprise at the Hard Rock is fantastic

can't wait to read more.


susan
 
Finally starting yur trip report, Mandy, great start.

Laur's princess:
 












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