The boy who called DS a "loser", is now threatening to beat him up!*update, pg 2*

[disney junky]

There's some really bad advice going on around here. First, let me state I'm not a lawyer. But I have had extensive personal experience with IDEA, which is also known as P.L. 94-142, and "The Blue Book". This is the set of Federal Laws which govern the education of classified children. (Not all ADD kids are classified either!)

If the child is not classified, than the district needs to meet out the same behaviour and academic standards for the child as they would for any other child.

If the child is classified, they must be placed in the least restrictive environment. Go read JennyMom's thread if you want an explanation of that, I'm not retyping it all. The classified child can be "punished" in a variety of ways, including suspension for up to ten days in a school calendar year.

If behaviour standards can't be met in the current placement, then a more restrictive placement must be sought.

This child is being allowed to run rampant due to ADD. Well woop de doo Basil--my son has a lot worse ED than that, and was quite able to control himself on the bus, and now holds a job he loves in the private sector. Not providing a behaviour modification program that requires adherence to rules that are for the safety and well being of everybody is doing a serious diservice to this kid.

Forget the principals they are useless in cases like this.

I find this last comment offensive. You are generalizing. Principals have the most difficult jobs in the school because they can't win from any direction. Parents. Students. Teachers. Superintendents. Perhaps a more tasteful approach would be to state,"The principal doesn't have the authority to act in this situation." That is more accurate than your comment.

What is the misinformation that is being stated?

From what I have read on these boards, people think you can just go demand something be done, and that's just bad advice. You state in your response that a classified student can be suspended for up to ten days per school year. Right you are. Now just suppose that those ten days have already been used. Then there is little the OP can gain by marching into the principal's/superintendent's office and demanding something be done. This all assumes the child is classified. The only indication of that is the note from the principal to the bus driver. There are lots of parents doing self diagnosis in this age of labels. I read some of my posts and think I must be undiagnosed ADD. Wait...I digress.

Keep in mind, she is the parent of a child who is being transported to Catholic school via public school transportation. It is a law in Pennsylvania that public schools provide transport to private school students within their district. In reality, she is going to confront a superintendent of a school district where she lives but doesn't send her child to. How much satisfaction do you think she is going to get?

It certainly would be nice to have an aid on every bus. How realistic is that?

I am sure there is a lawyer somewhere who will be happy to accept her money and fight for the rights of her child not to be harrassed on the bus. But, I am trying to be realistic. How many of the people here who recommend hiring a lawyer or calling the police are willing to do it themselves. It's easy on an anonymous board to spout all sorts advice. I just find that in many cases it stirs the pot. I raised two kids. They were called losers, they were bullied, heck, one even got slugged by a kid in the neighborhood. He didn't cry but my daughter did for him. Love that empathy. Once my son had to sit at the naughty table for drinking his milk in the lunch line. It was tragic at the time. When then things happened, most of the time, I told them to get over it. I'm a lousy parent. I have a fund for their therapy in 25 years.

But to quote Disney Doll
Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child.

I've ranted long enough.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

**Update**

I called the principal of the public elementary school. I explained to him that my DS didn't attend his school but was on the school bus that transported to his school , then the Catholic school were he attends.

The principal told me DS's bus driver came in to talk to him face to face. Also the "bully" was called into the principals office and confronted about his behavior. This time he actually admitted it.

The principal told me he has a meeting with the childs parents that morning and wrote down everything he said or did, to my child as well as all the other children. As least it seemed like he was writing it down.

The child is going to be placed in the front seat away from the other children, to see if this curbs his behavior. (I'm not so sure) We'll see. He also told me to call him back immediately with any comments or threats from this child. So we'll see how it goes.

To answer some questions:: We live in a small neighborhood, but many of us live on acreage, so there is a significant amount of space between houses, so no I don't know the parents.
Also, I cannot drive my DS to school and pick him up everyday, and why should I have to? My DS is not the bully. My DD receives speech therapy plus I work 2 days a week, so out of 5 days, I may be able to transport him 2-3 at most.
I will continue to see how this is going to unfold on the bus. If I feel my DS is in immediate danger I will certainly pull him and find an alternative. I am ready to take this matter further than the prinipal if I must. Thanks to all.

 

[Maleficent13]

Maybe it's my ingrained HIPAA training, but isn't anyone else appalled that the bus driver told the OP personal info about the bully (ie, that he has ADD)?? Shouldn't that be protected information?

Not trying to be insenstive to the OP at all, but that jumped out at me.

 

[ducklite]

I find this last comment offensive. You are generalizing. Principals have the most difficult jobs in the school because they can't win from any direction. Parents. Students. Teachers. Superintendents. Perhaps a more tasteful approach would be to state,"The principal doesn't have the authority to act in this situation." That is more accurate than your comment.

What is the misinformation that is being stated?

"What the driver says is true. There's nothing that can be done. If he's labeled, you just have to deal with it. Until the laws change that protect and label misbehavior as learning disorders, we all are left to deal with these situations."

"Your choices are either to deal with this or come up with alternative transportation for your son (also, does this kid live in the same neighborhood as you? If so, you should be visiting the child's parents)"

Pricipals ARE useless in this type of situation. They have no authority over transportation. Sorry if I hit a nerve. You can screw around for a week or two trying to get the principal to do something, but in actuality it isn't their responsibility, and most are already overworked and not willing to take on more than they ahve to--although they'll yes you to death.

From what I have read on these boards, people think you can just go demand something be done, and that's just bad advice. You state in your response that a classified student can be suspended for up to ten days per school year. Right you are. Now just suppose that those ten days have already been used. Then there is little the OP can gain by marching into the principal's/superintendent's office and demanding something be done.

That's where you are wrong. That ten days has nothing to do with transportation, and there's nothing in IDEA about permanently putting a kid off a bus and requiring the parent to transport them. I know this for an absolute fact, one of my sons friends was put off the bus for the remainder for the year--his mom had to drive him back and forth every day for three months!

This all assumes the child is classified. The only indication of that is the note from the principal to the bus driver. There are lots of parents doing self diagnosis in this age of labels. I read some of my posts and think I must be undiagnosed ADD. Wait...I digress.

I totally agree with you here. But that "note" in itself shows that the principla doesn't get it, or isn't willling to remedy the situation, and is why the OP needs to step it up to the superintendents office.

Keep in mind, she is the parent of a child who is being transported to Catholic school via public school transportation. It is a law in Pennsylvania that public schools provide transport to private school students within their district. In reality, she is going to confront a superintendent of a school district where she lives but doesn't send her child to. How much satisfaction do you think she is going to get?

Quite a bit--they have to operate under the law, and most are much better educated on education law than principals are.

It certainly would be nice to have an aid on every bus. How realistic is that?

Actually, if that's required for the kid (if he's indeed classified) then it's quite realistic. Several kids my son went to school with had aides that rode the bus with them.

I am sure there is a lawyer somewhere who will be happy to accept her money and fight for the rights of her child not to be harrassed on the bus. But, I am trying to be realistic. How many of the people here who recommend hiring a lawyer or calling the police are willing to do it themselves.

I would as far as the police go. For this case at this point hiring a lawyer is a waste of money. BTW, when I tried to hire a lawyer, everyone I spoke with was stupid and didn't get it. I went to court pro se and won--the districts attorney was cowering, and was so ill prepared. I cited case law and had done my research. The one case he tried to cite he hadn't done his pocket part research and found that the verdict had been overturned on appeal--which I pointed out to the judge. That raised the judges eyebrows. I believe in being a strong advocate for your children and persuing every avenue neccsary to get them an appropriate and safe education.

It's easy on an anonymous board to spout all sorts advice. I just find that in many cases it stirs the pot. I raised two kids. They were called losers, they were bullied, heck, one even got slugged by a kid in the neighborhood. He didn't cry but my daughter did for him. Love that empathy. Once my son had to sit at the naughty table for drinking his milk in the lunch line. It was tragic at the time. When then things happened, most of the time, I told them to get over it. I'm a lousy parent. I have a fund for their therapy in 25 years.

Bottom line, bullying doens't make kids stronger, it affects their self-esteem and can scare them to the point that they have physiological problems and difficulty learning. You can raise your kids how you want, but the NEA has recognized that bullying is a serious issue. I've got to agree.

Anne

 

[ducklite]

Maybe it's my ingrained HIPAA training, but isn't anyone else appalled that the bus driver told the OP personal info about the bully (ie, that he has ADD)?? Shouldn't that be protected information?

Not trying to be insenstive to the OP at all, but that jumped out at me.

Anyone who has a need to know is entitled to know about the classification. Generally any administration, educator, or ancilliary personel who has contact with the child can be told of the child's classification and how it applies to their interaction with the child.

Anne

 

[Maleficent13]

Anyone who has a need to know is entitled to know about the classification. Generally any administration, educator, or ancilliary personel who has contact with the child can be told of the child's classification and how it applies to their interaction with the child.

Anne

Yes, but I'm not questioning the bus driver knowing. I'm questioning the bus driver telling the OP, who is none of the persons you list above.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Maybe it's my ingrained HIPAA training, but isn't anyone else appalled that the bus driver told the OP personal info about the bully (ie, that he has ADD)?? Shouldn't that be protected information?

Not trying to be insenstive to the OP at all, but that jumped out at me.

Sorry but I think it is VERY isnsensitive! My DS could get the crap beat out of him and YOU're worried about the bus driver telling me that kid is ADD. PLEASE!!!
Thats one of the problems of todays society. Just as several have posted. Because this kid is labeled, if something does happen, he may very well, get a slap on the wrist, if even that.
Who's the real victim? Oh yea, the poor kid, because now I know he has ADD! Sorry if I sound nasty, but that comment really ticked me off. This is my kids safety we're talking about, and the RIGHT for him to ride a school bus without being threatened.
And how did the bus driver find out, obviously the principal told him.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Deleting my previous post 'cause not wantin' the flames...

Good Luck with your situation.

 

[ducklite]

Yes, but I'm not questioning the bus driver knowing. I'm questioning the bus driver telling the OP, who is none of the persons you list above.

Sorry I misunderstood, you are 100% correct. In fact I mentioned that in Jenny's post, that the district can't tell her if the kid is classified--although I believe they did in her case as well...

Anne

 

[Planogirl]

Has the problem child actually hit anyone or does he just spout off a lot? I've scanned this thread and I didn't see anything about this kid actually following through on his threats. Also, is he a big kid? Do the other kids ever stand up to him? Just curious.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Has the problem child actually hit anyone or does he just spout off a lot? I've scanned this thread and I didn't see anything about this kid actually following through on his threats. Also, is he a big kid? Do the other kids ever stand up to him? Just curious.

He hasn't hit anyone that I know of, other than his older brother. Thats why the older brother doesn't want to sit with him on the bus, because he punches at him the whole way home. But every child-hitting bully started somewhere and I don't want my son to be first.
My son is big for his age and this child is about a head taller than my son, so yes, he is big for his age. From what my son says, the other kids either ignore him or some tell him to shut up.

 

[ducklite]

Has the problem child actually hit anyone or does he just spout off a lot? I've scanned this thread and I didn't see anything about this kid actually following through on his threats. Also, is he a big kid? Do the other kids ever stand up to him? Just curious.

With what I've read he never hit anyone. But under IDEA, the school can take action if he is just making threats of violence. Psycologically a htreat can be as harmful as an actual act of violence.

Anne

 

[Maleficent13]

Sorry but I think it is VERY isnsensitive! My DS could get the crap beat out of him and YOU're worried about the bus driver telling me that kid is ADD. PLEASE!!!
Thats one of the problems of todays society. Just as several have posted. Because this kid is labeled, if something does happen, he may very well, get a slap on the wrist, if even that.
Who's the real victim? Oh yea, the poor kid, because now I know he has ADD! Sorry if I sound nasty, but that comment really ticked me off. This is my kids safety we're talking about, and the RIGHT for him to ride a school bus without being threatened.
And how did the bus driver find out, obviously the principal told him.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I did not mean to be insensitive. But I can absolutely see the parents of the other child coming forward to threaten the school because "sensitive" information was told to a third party. In a way, it could possibly cloud your issues with the school and make the situation worse. Also, it sounds like the bus driver is a friend of yours, and is truly trying to help, but by divulging this information to you, he has put his job at risk.

I'll leave the thread now. Good luck with everything.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I did not mean to be insensitive. But I can absolutely see the parents of the other child coming forward to threaten the school because "sensitive" information was told to a third party. In a way, it could possibly cloud your issues with the school and make the situation worse. Also, it sounds like the bus driver is a friend of yours, and is truly trying to help, but by divulging this information to you, he has put his job at risk.

I'll leave the thread now. Good luck with everything.

The bus driver isn't a friend of mine. But since its country out here, and my son is the only stop on this patch of road, I have his home number incase my son doesn't go to school I call him and his bus goes a different way.

I would never divulge anything the driver told me, which I didn't. The bus driver is very frustrated with this child and situation also. My DS gets home in about 25 minutes, I'm so nervous to hear what he has to say.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Good luck with this. It's hard to see our children in such situations.

Do you think your son would be interested in a karate class? One that could give him some quick pointers early?
Then if the bully tried to start something your DS would feel confident in defending himself. Just a thought.

I hope the new seating arrangement will be the end of it.

 

[SandiH]

Although you are frustrated with the situation, I would be too if I was in your shoes. It is however illegial under FERPA (Federal Education Right to Privacy Act) of 1974 for the bus driver to divuldge the child's diagnosis to you. The school district also has a right to protect all students in their care, including your son. Just because a child is special needs, doesn't mean that general education transportation is automatic. The bully could be removed from the bus, either going on a special needs bus with an assistant or being transported by parent/family/other source. The rights of the bully as a special needs student does not overstate the rights of your son to receive safe transportation.

I hope you are able to resolve this issue and keep your child safe.