The Bold & The Beautiful:The Tale of Some Crazy Vikings!! NEW 10/29 Pg 20!!

[sheridac]

I figured I needed 4 bags. For 6(ish) days.

I don’t got much junk in the trunk but I gotta lotta junk in the bags.

TFI

There’s my shoe bag. (Eight pairs for 6 days. I’m ashamed of myself!!!!!! What was I thinking when I left that ninth pair home????!!!)

And my cosmetics bag. (This is AmEx to me. NEVER leave home without it!!)

And my clothes bag. (Seven-teen outfits for 6 days. I’m ashamed here too. So many loverlies got left behind!! I am not a good marine!!!)

And my carry-on.

Plus my purse.

And.

My laptop.

For the live(ish) portion of this TRIP REPORT. Courtesy of Cap-i-tain Amazing - Loubon. HI LOU!!!!!!!!

Which you can find here: http://the-bold-and-the-beautiful.blogspot.com/

But. Here’s the thing.

I COULDN’T BRING LIP GLOSS OR MASCARA IN MY CARRY-ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the inhumanity. Of it. All.

Can I possibly survive a flight of an indeterminate number of hours (hi J!!, Look how good I’m being!!!)

The answer is NOT!!!!

I can carry on a cork screw. But not lip gloss.

I can carry on a cigar cutter. But not mascara.

Knitting needles - yes. Liquid eyeliner no.

WHO WROTE THESE RULES ANYWAY????

So. I put my mind to solving this dilemma for myself.

What would Paris do??

And looked at the list again.

And.

To what do my wondering eyes should appear????

A gel-filled bra. Is A-ok. Well. Hot Snot!!!

LIGHTBULB!!!!

I will purchase one of these puppies. De-gel it. And re-gel it.

Lip gloss on the Left. Mascara on the Right.

PROBLEM SOLVED!!!!!!

But then. The TSA lightened up. On that whole plot to make women feel less than gorgeous. AS IF!!!!!

So. One box of clear, zippy-top, quart-size baggies later and DISASTER AVERTED!!!!!!

Hmmmm. I did entitle this chapter “Everyone Loves an Irish Girl” didn’t I???

Is it still a digression when the WHOLE thing is off topic???? A sort of SUPERNOVA of digressions????

Oh well. I hate to put it this way but I'm me and you're you and we're done when I say we're done.

Movin’ on……..

The Arrival Day Outfit is a pretty important decision. TFI. IT IS!!!! Trust Sher.

Here’s why. Unless you have The Maddest of MAD SKILLZ (yes, I know I DO, but most people do not. I’m just sayin’!!!), your room is almost never ready. When you check in.

And. Unless you have a super good reason. Like 4 kids, 6 backpacks and a diaper bag and a collapsible stroller that refuses to collapse which also smells. Or you arrive at midnight. You go to a park. On your arrival day. You know you do.

I’m just sayin’.

So. The Arrival Day Outfit is KEY!!!!!!

Because. You wanna look cute, right??? But be comfy. And. Not cold where you’re coming from. But. Not hot when you get there.

Get it????

So. I chose a most favourite t-shirt. My “Everyone Love an Irish Girl” t-shirt. Because. After all. Who doesn’t, really???

With shorts. And flip flops. And a sweater. In my carry-on. ‘Cause while it was 90 in WallyWorld it was 60 in Sheri-land!!!!!

And. This t-shirt has MAD SKILLZ all on its own. IT’S TRUE!!!!!! Those skillz are enhanced by MY wearing it. Of course. Here. Read further. Trust Sher!!!!!

So. At the crack of itssoearlyonThursdaymorningitsreallyWednesdaynight, also known as 4:30 am, we high-tailed it to the airport. For to get out of Dodge.

Segway.

Inevitably whenever I travel I am ALWAYS searched. My bags. My self. I am wanded, patted down, practically strip searched and wanded again. It’s my magnetic personality. I think. ‘Cause I don’t look like a terrorist. CAUSE mayhem and terror, maybe. But only amongst friends!!!!

Anyhoo. I was totally prepared for it. Welcomed it even. BRING IT ON BAY-BEE!!!!!

And. Guess what???!!!

Mr. TotallyImpressedbySherSecurityMan said. To moi. “Everyone Loves an Irish Girl”, handed me my ticket and sent me on my way!!!!

But.

Not so much luck for B!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!

She didn’t actually get strip searched. But her bag did. And her “contraband” was confiscated.

I TOLD HER TO BRING THE CLEAR, ZIPPY-TOP QUART-SIZE BAGGIES!!!!!

All together now: TRUST SHER!!!!!

So we settled in for a quick(ish) flight.

Here’s our pals!!! Safe and sound. I even let them have the aisle seat. Although the gentleman that said seat belonged to wasn’t keen on sharing. What’s up with that???!!!

Next up: More Proof that Everyone Loves an Irish Girl and The Arrival. Maybe!!!!

PS~ Yoo Hoo, Yoo Hoo, Yoo Hoo!!!!!!!

Find Chapter 3 Here!!!!

 

[bratus913]

Inevitably whenever I travel I am ALWAYS searched. My bags. My self. I am wanded, patted down, practically strip searched and wanded again. It’s my magnetic personality. I think. ‘Cause I don’t look like a terrorist. CAUSE mayhem and terror, maybe. But only amongst friends!!!!

I know, having the MAD SKILLZ that you have, that you know why you are always searched!! After all "Everyone Loves an Irish Girl" - apparently ESPECIALLY airport security!!

Here’s our pals!!! Safe and sound. I even let them have the aisle seat. Although the gentleman that said seat belonged to wasn’t keen on sharing. What’s up with that???!!!

People can be SO rude!! Apparently he did not Love Himself an Irish Girl. Maybe he needed to talk to airport security?

 

[horsegirl]

So. The Arrival Day Outfit is KEY!!!!!!

Because. You wanna look cute, right??? But be comfy. And. Not cold where you’re coming from. But. Not hot when you get there.

So true, so, so true....I went with basic black. Black Tank, Black mini skirt and black no wrinkle blazer shoved into carry on. Needed for the 55 degree 5 am trip to the airport, the freezing cold plane ride, the stop in Atlanta, which was also chilly, but not, and at Boma...I also went with black strappy heels to keep me chic....

I agree that disaster averted by TSA was just in time!!!!!!!!!!!

Great report!

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Sher, another great chapter!

Airport security people can be strange. On my trip to Germany, I took a cheap, almost empty lighter, even had it in my hand t hand it over. Nobody ever glanced at my stuff.... Oh well, I'll just keep it then.

On the way BACK to US of A, I got searched no less than 3 times, wanded and all. And I had a second lighter, which I meant to leave behind but forgot. Not a soul noticed it.

BUT......... a girl in front of me, being searched on the way OFF the plane in Orlando (what's up with THAT, anyway???????), was relieved of her water bottle that was handed out on the plane

Anyway, great story, I am sure you looked just smashing!!!!!!!!

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

Issak the Bartender checking in here...........not quite an official nutwing, but nuts just the same.

And the bearer of mad giftz.....loot bags, in honour of Specto (who didn't get one). With a pad and pen so there are no TR excuses to be had.

Anywho.........great start Sher!

You were in fact, the first nutwing I did call, upon arrival at POP!

Because I knew, you knew, I knew that you are in the know!

One box of clear, zippy-top, quart-size baggies later

In Canader, they gave out freebie zippy-top bags......bonus!

I figured I needed 4 bags. For 6(ish) days.

And you did look good, girlfriend. The commander (er or ar, Jami??) has to look good, and look the part!

Because. You wanna look cute, right??? But be comfy. And. Not cold where you’re coming from. But. Not hot when you get there.

Dress in layers, layers are the key......except at Orlando airport they have a mini change room in the bathrooms......how nice of them to do that, for us cold to hot Northerners!

Great report

Thanks for sharing.

Looking forward to the next chapter.....

 

[sheridac]

I know, having the MAD SKILLZ that you have, that you know why you are always searched!! After all "Everyone Loves an Irish Girl" - apparently ESPECIALLY airport security!!

Well. As a matter of fact. I do!!!!

People can be SO rude!! Apparently he did not Love Himself an Irish Girl. Maybe he needed to talk to airport security?

I know. But. Point of fact. He loved himself an Irish Girl just fine. Sharing his seat with our pals, not so much!!!!!

Last edited by Yzma and Kronk : Today at 11:44 AM. Reason: I'm having a flashback of people yelling YAK YAK YAK all around the Hippy Dippy......heehee!

OMIGOD YAK!!!!!!!!!!! That was THE most fun!!! And I did not mind ONE BIT all those looks I got either!!!!!

 

[AshClan]

I don’t got much junk in the trunk but I gotta lotta junk in the bags.

Nothin' wrong with that. (Either of 'em...)

I can carry on a cork screw. But not lip gloss.

I can carry on a cigar cutter. But not mascara.

Knitting needles - yes. Liquid eyeliner no.

WHO WROTE THESE RULES ANYWAY????

A MAN, obviously!!!!! (Well, a man who knits. Maybe it's Knit!!!??)

So. The Arrival Day Outfit is KEY!!!!!!

Because. You wanna look cute, right??? But be comfy. And. Not cold where you’re coming from. But. Not hot when you get there.

So true. It's a fine balance, requiring Mad Skillz. Lucky for you.

Loving it so far, Sher. Did you take notes? I took NO notes. But hope to get mine drafted this weekend. If I don't, I'll forget it all and the TR will be history. Before it's even story. If that makes sense.

Can't wait for the rest!!! And yes, we NEED to see the pics. Even those ones, you know, after you lost your shirt. They are a must.

 

[kpk89]

I would suspect that Sher somehow had a hand in getting the TSA to lighten up. Just sayin'.

Mad love for ya baby,

Rock and roll. Er.

 

[sheridac]

Loving it so far, Sher. Did you take notes? I took NO notes. But hope to get mine drafted this weekend. If I don't, I'll forget it all and the TR will be history. Before it's even story. If that makes sense.

Can't wait for the rest!!! And yes, we NEED to see the pics. Even those ones, you know, after you lost your shirt. They are a must.

Ash!!

Hahahahaha!!!!!!

I did take notes. Somewhat. They read like this:

Everyone loves an Irish Girl!!!
I Lost My Shirt on the Way to JellyRolls!!!
Does The Basement of TOT Really Smell Like a Basement or Is That The Gentleman in Front of You???
11:52 pm Mad Dash To Splash Mountain in Cocktail Dresses!!!

yada, yada.....

I'm relying on memory from there. So. You ALL have to add to. 'k???

mad love to ya!!!

~me

 

[sleepydog25]

Nothin' wrong with that. (Either of 'em...)



A MAN, obviously!!!!! (Well, a man who knits. Maybe it's Knit!!!??)



So true. It's a fine balance, requiring Mad Skillz. Lucky for you.

Loving it so far, Sher. Did you take notes? I took NO notes. But hope to get mine drafted this weekend. If I don't, I'll forget it all and the TR will be history. Before it's even story. If that makes sense.

Can't wait for the rest!!! And yes, we NEED to see the pics. Even those ones, you know, after you lost your shirt. They are a must.

If you rely on a memory saddled with Swillism and Coffeeneiredness with which sher is afflicted, is it fair to call those memories a TR or merely a T? Senility in Irish women strikes at an early age. . .

Be that as it may, I find myself compelled to read along anyway. I mean, laudanum didn't stop the Gothic writers from penning some mighty fine, scary books. . .

 

[sheridac]

If you rely on a memory saddled with Swillism and Coffeeneiredness with which sher is afflicted, is it fair to call those memories a TR or merely a T? Senility in Irish women strikes at an early age. . .

Be that as it may, I find myself compelled to read along anyway. I mean, laudanum didn't stop the Gothic writers from penning some mighty fine, scary books. . .

Hey Now!!! Just because I don't use additives and PRESERVATIVES in my coffee does not mean I have an affliction!!!!

And. Thanks??? I think.

 

[UtahMama]

YES, the first day the room isnt ever ready so we too went to the parks (ours was MK to ride Cap'n Jack )

I went with CROCS, not dainty, not cute or feminine on size 11 feet...Just tres comfortable. Having woken (???) up wayyyy too early and then flying allll night, I chose comfort over cute. But my lips were sizzling hot and glossy, youbetcha!

I couldn't even figure out my own notes?? DUH! I am Dory! I'd write down "key words and phrases" and then not know what I meant by them!!! OK THEN!

Lovin It Muchly.

 

[sleepydog25]

Last edited by sheridac : Today at 05:21 PM. Reason: And. Are you calling me scary???

Is "no comment" a good answer?

 

[Minnie_Moo]

Is "no comment" a good answer?

Last edited by sleepydog25 : Today at 05:55 PM. Reason: Hmm, how about scary good?

Dog, I think the latter is the safer choice!!!

Sher - Keep those chapters flowing, please!

I hope you all left Pop and the Hippy Dippy in one piece for my upcoming trip! I will be wary of people calling out YAK, though!!!

 

[flafan]

You girls are crazy fun - More we need More, More, More!!!! I have to live through your CRAZY FUN COOL trippies until I can actually get to one of my own.

So please post more it's for this gals INSANITY - thanks

I am having so much fun reading your report. Your an awesome writer.

 

[sheridac]

You girls are crazy fun - More we need More, More, More!!!! I have to live through your CRAZY FUN COOL trippies until I can actually get to one of my own.

So please post more it's for this gals INSANITY - thanks

I am having so much fun reading your report. Your an awesome writer.

Aawww!!! So sweet. I LIKE YOU!!!!!

 

[sheridac]

Now then. Where was I? Refresh Sher please!!!!

Oh. Right. More proof. As if I really needed to. We all know by now I have mad skillz, yes??

Our quick(ish) flight connected in an undisclosed, secret location airport (haha J - you thought I’d spill the beans here didn’t ya?? Give out TMI??? Draw these readers a map to my secret location?? But. I was a good girl. This time. So. Can I have a cookie, Mrs. Landingham?)

Anyhoo. Actually. Henceforth instead of anyhoo I’ll be saying Yoo Hoo. Because I can!!! And because someone I know loves Yoo Hoo’s enough to marry them. Yoo Hoo’s and frosted cherry pop tarts. The Breakfast of Champions!! Except. We all know the REAL Breakfast of Champions is Tonga Toast. Just like we all know I’m The Real Nutwing Commander!!!!!! Stinkin’ Tag Fairy!!!! (LYMI!!)

Yoo Hoo. Our layover in this undisclosed location was supposed to be an hour. Which was enough to get B some breakfast and me some freshening up time. ‘Cause I like to do that. Give up food for freshening up. B likes to call me a skinny beeeyotch. Which I’m not. TFI. And even she admits I’m not one cracker short of the grave so…..

Digression Alert!!!!! I suppose here’s a good enough time as any to tell you. This report WILL be riddled with spelling errors. Grammatical errors. Actually, riddles too. It’s not because I can’t spell. Or use proper grammar. It’s that I don’t really give a frickin’ (NOF) fig as long as you get my point. Which you do. I’m sure. Mad skillz, bay-bee!!!! And. They’re really just typos. But not really. I’m bilingual!!!!

Digression over…..

As it turned out, by the time we deplaned and arrived at our connection departure gate thingie, it was really time to board. The next flight. Rhut- Rho!!!!! Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc, no time to pee!!!!! Funny enough while I don’t, as a rule, have a problem using public restrooms, I do have a thing about using those outhouses in the sky. They smell bad. For one thing. And they’re just holes in the plane not-so-very-cleverly-disguised. And. Did I mention they smell bad??? Blech!!!!!!

WAIT!!!!! Slight rant here!!!! WHAT IS IT WITH THE HOVERERS?????? Do you NOT REALIZE that if you JUST SAT DOWN instead of hovering the thing that you fear most WOULD NOT HAPPEN???? Like EVER???!!! There is NOTHING more disgusting that walking into a bathroom and finding the toilet seat pee’d upon!!! Which could be completely avoided. If you just used the little protective paper and SAT DOWN in the frickin’ (NOF) first place!!!! Geez!!!! Women can be slobs. Especially these hoverers. Who can’t sit their lilly white bums down. But expect others to. After they’ve pee’d all over the toilet seat!!!!!

Rant over….

Yoo Hoo. Thanks to the magic of The Everyone Loves an Irish Girl tee, there was a short, 15 minute delay in the boarding of our connecting flight.

And. A short staircase. Right next to the gate. And. At the bottom of sad staircase. Lo and Behold. A restroom. WHICH NO ONE KNEW ABOUT!!!!!

SCORE!!!!!!!

As I was waiting in line to board. My tee spied a Kiss Me I’m Irish tee. And an IRISH tee. And a Notre Dame tee. Ducks fly together, lol!!!!!

And. Some old(ish) guy chatted me up. His opening line??? “I like your shirt.” HOW ORIGINAL. NOT!!!!!!! Followed by, “Let me guess. You live in Florida.” Uh, nuh-uh guyoldenoughtobemygrampa, I am from Antarctica. And the grand finale. “Oh, I thought for sure with that great tan you were from Florida.”

Uuum. What’s your seat number?? ‘Cause I need to be seated as FAR AWAY from you. As possible. And. Please go back to The Successfulpickupline Academy and demand a full refund. Plus extra. For Pain and Suffering. In fact. I know several good lawyers. I’ll give you a referral. Run. Don’t walk!!!!!!

As we boarded the Flight Attendant looked me in the eye and said (all together now), “Everyone loves an Irish girl!” Plus he gave me an extra oatmeal cookie. During the flight. From his secret stash!!!!

Power of the tee: 3


Legend
NOF = No offense Frick (another pal. You’ll meet her later in the chapter entitled “Where The Frick (NOF) are the Car Keys???”
Yoo Hoo = Anyhoo
Sad = said

Next Up: Will The Power of the Tee Continue??? And. Are We There Yet????

Find Chapter 4 Here!!!

 

[horsegirl]

We are in agreement. Hoverers are the bain of our feminine existence. At least tidy up properly after doing so. I saw evidence of these offenders during my entire trip, even at, GASP! Disney. Ick.

Keep going!

 

[TwinkieMama]

am I first!?!
Drats! oh hi horsegirl! Nice to see you.

Anyway, even though I am second fiddle: Whohoootyhootyhoo!!!!! to you. And me.

Great report commander. Didn't even notice any grammar or spelling nonconformities....

but I did notice this.....

And even she admits I’m not one cracker short of the grave so…..

huh? What does this mean????

I know what "one brick shy of a load" means and "not playing with a full deck" and even "the lights are on but nobody owns the house" but a cracker short of the grave????? what is your friend admitting about you???

and does the double negative mean proof positive?

 

[horsegirl]

am I first!?!

Well then Whohoootyhootyhoo!!!!! to you. And me.

Great report commander. Didn't even notice any grammar or spelling nonconformities....

but I did notice this.....




huh? What does this mean????

I know what "one brick shy of a load" means and "not playing with a full deck" and even "the lights are on but nobody owns he house" but a cracker short of the grave????? what is your friend admitting about you???

and does the double negative mean proof positive?

No. I was. Heh heh heh. Hi Twink! Looks like you keep the same hours I do! I interpreted it as Sheridac was young? I agree though, very odd....