Chapter 2: The Opposite (Part One)
You might recall that last year’s Disney Eve was less than ideal. And while it wasn’t ultimately tragic, it was difficult, scary, frightening and expensive to say nothing of unplanned.
So as you might imagine, we were looking for something a little different this year. Well, that’s an understatement. This story begins on Disney Eve Eve. Which itself was a little tense. It was my last day at work and I had a lot of stuff to finish up. I was in my office by 6:00 so that I could knock it all out and be home at a decent hour. I was setting ‘em up and knocking ‘em down. Moving stuff off my desk. Marking things off my to do list. And three other clichés which all mean the same thing. And it wasn’t like I was just hiding files in the kitchen behind the canister of decaf coffee that no one ever uses. No, I was in the zone. Whatever the heck that means.
But while I was cutting through the sea of files in my office, my wife was having a bit of different day. Baby ZZUB woke up with her fussy britches on. She kept them on all day. So my wife wasn’t able to move through her to do list with the same deft ease that I was plowing through mine. So when I got home that night and walked through the door singing, “I’m on vacation, for two whole weeks, I don’t have to work, for two whole weeks,” no one joined in on the chorus.
Instead, it appeared something had exploded in the middle of our house. Normally, explosions are confined to one of the tiny rooms with the recently ubiquitous foam soap.
Why is that suddenly everyplace? It’s the sun dried tomatoes of 2007.
There were suitcases, clothes, food and dippers as far as my eyes could see.
Dippers are diapers in our house.
Slippers are also dippers. So you have to pay attention to the context to know what we’re talking about. It’s kind of like Shalom which means “hello,” “goodbye” and “peace.”
Except we don’t say “dippers” when we see you or when we want you to leave. Although, I reckon if we did no one would even notice. Because we’re the ZZUBs. We abbreviate and make up our own words.
And our dog has a speech impediment.
And a law degree.
The hearth in our Living Room extends across an entire wall. It’s the reason we bought our house. We walked in and fell in love with the wall length stone fireplace and hearth. Which tells you something about how stupid we are. Who in their right mind buys a house because of a fireplace? People who put dippers on their baby, that’s who. In our defense, our house actually has two fireplaces. It was probably the second one that sealed the deal.
It has other features which make it attractive. But hand to God, it was the wall length stone fireplace and hearth in the Living Room.
Our Living Room is our “show” room. We don’t actually live in it. We don’t even step foot in it unless we have company. So really, it’s our non-living room. It is more properly described as a Guest Room. Because it exists for guests. And not even guests we like. Guests we like hang out with us in the Family Room. Where the comfortable furniture and brick fireplace is. And the TV.
We don’t do anything in the Living Guest Room other than look at it and occasionally drink coffee with people we don’t like enough to show into our Family Room. Therefore, whenever we have stuff we don’t know where to put and we want out of our way, it goes in the Living Room. Usually on the hearth.
Which makes me think that when my wife and I looked at this house and were so enamored of the wall length stone fireplace and hearth it was for two different reasons. I looked at it and imagined big gatherings with people sitting around a roaring fire discussing how fabulously well-to-do the ZZUBs are and how warm and inviting their home is.
My wife looked at it and imagined a great place to store crap.
Which is exactly what I saw when I walked in the door. Wall to wall stuff packed up on the hearth. There were stacks of clothes, stacks of baby supplies, stacks (and stacks) of food we bought to bring with us. And as I journeyed through our house, I also had to navigate suitcases, more piles of clothes, a hyped up 5 year old bouncing off the walls, a raged up baby. And a very tired wife.
Who did NOT share my enthusiasm at the moment.
So I did what I could to help. Which is to say I hid in my study. And then I helped get the piles more organized. And then I hid in the garage for a while.
Eventually we ate dinner. And the kids went to sleep. Or wherever it is they go at night. My wife and I stayed up getting organized. And I ironed. A lot. Which in hindsight seems really stupid. What with the packing it all up.
But I had nervous energy and when I’m nervous I do things. It was too late to pull weeds or clean gutters. So I was left with inside work. And someone needed to iron. Although we had a lot of stuff to pack, I was determined we were leaving one thing behind. Anxiety was not getting squeezed into anyone’s suitcase. It would not find refuge in anyone’s backpack and it certainly would not fit in the quart sized ziplock bags in our carry-ons.
But both my wife and I were feeling some of it. And so I ironed and she put clothes into gallon sized ziplock bags and placed them into suitcases. And we talked about what each other needed to do before we went to bed the following night. We each offered to take things off the other’s plate. Eventually, we fell into bed.
I awoke early the next morning, Disney Eve. I made some coffee and admired what the sky looked like coming up over the mountains in front of our house. It’s a beautiful scene I don’t normally enjoy because at that time of day, I’m heading to work and can’t be bothered admiring a sunrise. But on Disney Eve, the first day of my vacation, I was all about the orange hewed eastern sky. I fixed some coffee and planted myself in a chair to spend some time reading the Bible and praying. Then I set out to make sure all our bills were paid and all of the details for our trip were taken care of.
And revise my list of to-dos.
I used to work up until the minute we left on vacation but that changed last year. On accident. We were supposed to fly out first thing in the morning, but we had to change our flights to avoid that nettlesome tropical storm, Ernesto. So I ended up having a whole day at home before our evening flight. I liked the extra time to enjoy being at home. Something I don’t get to do enough. So when I planned our vacation this year, I planned to take off from work the day before and after our trip.
Smartest thing I’ve done since I started using the Gillette Fusion razor that came in the mail. Man, I love the close shave I get from those five blades. Five blades! What will they think of next?
By the time I wrapped up my computer work, my wife and girls were up. We sat in our Family Room and enjoyed some break together. Because we like to abbreviate. After break, we had our family devotion. We normally have our family time of reading the Bible in the evening. But we decided to start our family’s day with a devotion on this Disney Eve.
Our devotions are always time well spent but occasionally, as on this day, it was especially worshipful. Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve are “marker” holidays for us. We stop on those days to consider what the Lord has done in our lives since the prior year. On Thanksgiving we obviously focus on those blessings we’re thankful for. On New Year’s Eve we list all of the ways the Lord has blessed us, matured us, challenged us and encouraged us in the year about to end.
Disney Eve has now also become a marker holiday for us.
So we shared all of the things God had done and all of the ways He had blessed us since our last trip to Disney World.
Our list was remarkably long.
What really amazed me, and as a Dad, really encouraged me, were the things my daughter mentioned. I am so proud of who she is growing up to be. A grateful girl with a heart for God. She’s her Mamma.
And after we prayed and thanked God for all of those things and asked Him to protect us on the trip we were about to take, we broke and got busy getting finished.
After a while, we headed out for lunch. I eat out with clients and co-workers a good bit, but don’t get to eat lunch with my family very often during the week. Eating lunch out with them, on a weekday, says vacation to me. My favorite meal to eat out is breakfast, although I don't care for tomato juice. But getting my wife and daughters up to go out for breakfast would be a herculean feat not wisely undertaken on a day our hearth was still covered with crap. So off to lunch we went. Where I made sure the hostess and the waitress and everyone who stopped at our table to ooh and aah over the baby knew we were on vacation.
You’re surprised we went to a restaurant with waitresses, aren’t you? You thought for sure we went to McDonald’s. And ate off the Dollar Menu.
After lunch, my wife took the baby and headed home to get her packing done. I took ZZUBY and we ran a boatload of errands. When we were packing the night before, I couldn’t find the Mylicon Drops we had just bought at Target. Baby ZZUB needs her some Drops. The box was maybe $3or $4 and I could have easily just bought a new box and been done with it. Which maybe I should have done since the Target is on the other end of town.
But it was the principle!
Plus, I bought myself a new car this summer and I still like taking drives in it. So I put in a CD of Disney Music and continued my six month long effort to prepare ZZUBY for Test Track. My car has pretty quick acceleration and corners like a dream.
Like a dream I tell you. Whenever ZZUBY is with me, and it’s safe to do so, I accelerate hard so she can get used to speed.
The things we do for our kids, right?
We pulled into the Target and headed inside, receipt firmly in hand. I walked up to the customer service counter and advised the guy, with an accusatory tone, that we had bought some Mylicon Drops a few days earlier but they didn’t make it home with us. He said, “No problem. Just let me see your receipt.” Our receipt was ludicrously long. So I scanned down it to find the Drops to point out to him.
And then I scanned it again.
And then a third time.
“Ummm. This is a little embarrassing,” I said. “I can’t find it on here. Maybe we didn’t buy it after all.”
“No worries,” he said. Which, if I wasn’t so embarrassed would have annoyed me. My daughter and I walked off in search of a new box of Drops and I stopped one more time to see if it was on our receipt.
It wasn’t.
How freaking dumb am I? I schlepped all the way to Target to recover a $4 box of Mylicon Drops I hadn’t even bought. I whipped out my cell phone and called John Edwards' campaign headquarters and volunteered to help.
I’m normally pretty organized and clear thinking, but something about vacation makes me a little bubble headed. Last year, the night before we left for Florida, I left my ATM card in the machine. I was down the road, about to pick up food at McDonald’s, when I realized it was missing from my wallet. So by comparison, going on a 30 minute boondoggle for a box of Drops I hadn’t already bought wasn’t such a big deal.
We had two more stops to make, so we dispatched with our Target work and headed out, quickly I might add, to the next destination. Then the one after that: the pharmacy. To pick up a prescription I had called in two days earlier.
We headed into the store and over to the pharmacy. I waited in a line which rivaled those found at the post office. On the Friday before Mother’s Day. Eventually we made our way to the front. I gave Phyllis Pharmacytech my name. Twice. She typed it into the computer. Then hit the “enter” key. Then stared blankly at the screen. Then hit the key again. Then again. And again. Again. Staring. Leaning in to stare. She touched the non-touch screen monitor. She hit the enter key again. Then again. She coughed. Then hit enter. Then again. And again.
Then she walked over to a second computer. And yelled back for me to spell my name again. Then she walked over to a stack of papers. She ruffled them purposefully. She whispered in the ear of Glenda Glassesonachain. Glenda whispered back to her.
More whispering.
I resisted the urge to tap my foot. Mostly because I was on the wrong end of The Big Counter and at The Big Counter, no one can see your foot tap.
Or hear you scream.
After she finished getting the recipe for Glenda’s to-die-for tuna casserole, she waddled back over to the counter and told me that I had transferred my prescription to Walgreens.
Which actually I hadn't done.
I explained to Phyllis that she was mistaken. And also rather annoying. Like a blister in the sun. She went and spoke with Glenda some more and then I think she went to the little pharmacy tech’s room. Eventually she returned to tell me they didn’t have my prescription.
“Really?” I asked without even a hint of surprise.
“Yeah, I still think you transferred it.”
“Ma’am, I assure you I did not transfer it and in fact asked my doctor to call it in here.”
“Well it’s not here,” she said.
“That much you’ve made clear,” I responded. “Maybe you should consult the Register Journal,” I muttered under my breath. It was obvious by that point that I was going on vacation without my prescription. I left the counter before four police officers knocked me to the ground and tazed me. Bro’.
We ran the rest of our errands and eventually pulled back into our driveway. Once inside, we went about finishing up our packing. Getting ready. And then the dreaded left over dinner. The clean out the fridge ‘cause we'll be gone for two weeks meal. I think I ate cheese. And some kind of chicken. Washed down with milk and a tub of sour cream.
Not really. I hate sour cream.
While we ate, we had one final Disney Drill. Neither my wife nor daughter could name the first moderate resort at Walt Disney World. So they both had to run laps. My daughter thought she had a real stumper for me as well. She asked "what at the Wilderness Lodge has an up and a down?"
Bunk beds, duh.
I only knew the answer because her question hadn’t changed. She
always asks the same one. Then seems surprised that we know the answer.
Her question troubled me mostly because we hadn’t been able to book bunk beds. Despite my many efforts. Each time I called and tried to alter our reservation I was denied. Which also made me more than a little concerned about how crowded it potentially was going to be. I’d explained to my daughter that I wasn’t able to book her a bunk bed room this year. But there’d be lots of other fun things to do. She took the news in stride each time. I think because she didn’t believe me. She still thinks I can work wonders and make everything work out for her.
I hate that a day is going to come, soon I fear, that I won’t be her Superman any more. Soon enough she’ll discover that Daddy’s not nearly as smart, strong or capable as she imagines I am right now.
I dread that day.
After dinner, we watched a little tv and then put the kids to bed. Eventually, we climbed into bed too. I laid there thinking about how early we had to get up, how much luggage we had to get in the car, and then back out of the car at the airport and up to the counter. I thought through my morning plan of attack.
I worried for a bit about whether our flights would be on time. Whether the baby would scream for the entire flight. Whether we had any chance of scoring a decent room at the Lodge. We wouldn’t arrive there before 6:00.
I laid in bed and fought with anxiety which kept yanking the covers off of me. Worry harassed me with its cold feet and I hate to be touched when I sleep.
Then I was reminded again that this was a
good thing we got to do. We were going on vacation. To Disney World. We should be hopeful and not fearful or anxious. More importantly, I was reminded by a still small voice that we’d get the room we were supposed to have. It would be ok.
And I knew it would be. This Disney Eve was so unlike the one before it. But even the one before it had a happy ending. It did end well. That happy ending was in her crib gently sleeping.
I rolled on my side and looked at the clock. It was midnight. I only had four hours before we had to get up and leave for the airport. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. But I was excited. Not anxious for a change.
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Click Here For Chapter Three
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You've been "Groov'd". Instead.
. I love your trip reports and will be patiently waiting for more 
An early morning coffee walk was never so sweet...) We stayed in the AB section by necessity (family of 5, don'tcha know) but I admired the Mansions in the pre-dawn light as I strolled by! 
