The 'After college friends lose touch' thread...

[NewJersey]

So I knew it was inevitable. I graduated in May 06 and knew that naturally I would lose touch with some of my friends...and ironically I knew which of those I would. And it hasn't failed. As the months went on, I talked and saw them less and less and now I haven't talked to them in about 3 months and it doesn't bother me at all.

I know which of my friends from college I want to keep in touch with and I do. It's hard with the others because we are all starting our lives now (in the adult sense) and going our seperate ways...and we all want different things. Some of them still want to party every night like in college and put off responsibility until they are 30. I'm the total opposite way. I like to go out and have a good time but now, with a full time job, I'm more focused on my new career, my dbf, and saving towards buying my first house. There's more important things in life than shopping and drinking endlessly to me.

I'd say I have 4 friends from college that I'll be friends with for life...one of them I've known since HS. This happened after HS and I knew the same would happen after college.

 

[Sandy V.]

You're absolutely right. As you "grow up" and start your own life outside of school, many of the friendships made with those that you went to college with do start to fade. It IS inevitable.

On the brighter side, the friendships that you've made that DO endure are very special. I've been out of college for almost 25 years now, and this time of year I receive Christmas letters from our old college pals that we do keep in touch with. I love hearing about them and their families.

Best of luck in your career and in your endeavors to save for a house!!

 

[CapeCodTenor]

Yep, same thing happened here. 3 years after college and I keep in contact with only 3 people.

 

[Tazicket]

I graduated in August and I keep in touch with a very small number of people. I went to HS with all but one of them (I met her at work) and we all went to the same college.

 

[hiwaygal]

College friends? You had friends in college???

Actually, I went to college as a "non-traditional" student. I was about 4-5 years older than my classmates. And, I worked 2-3 part time jobs (in addition to full time classes) to pay for my apartment, gas, food. I didn't have a whole lot of time for friends and partying.

There was one lady I became friends with. She was older than me and had four children. To this day, I'm amazed at her dedication to complete her education. We keep in touch, but only sporadically. Mostly because we live far apart and have our own lives.

I think the friendships I miss the most (now) are the ones from previous jobs. I do keep in touch with some of those folks, but things change, life changes, we change...it's sad, but it happens.

 

[pearlieq]

It happens. Most of our friends are situational. We become friends because of proximity and common experiences. When we lose one or both of those, most of the time the friendship fades.

There are a few special people that manage to hang on through the years, but the older I've gotten the more at peace I've gotten with just letting the rest become fond memories.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Unfortunately it does seem to happen. Ds graduated in May 2006 and is in law school now. He keeps in touch with 3 or 4 of his college friends but they all stayed in D.C. (he went to AU) and he moved up to North Jersey to attend Seton Hall Law School. He's going down to D.C. for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day to see them. He said that a lot of the guys still partied like they were in college but he doesn't have the time or the inclination to do that anymore.

 

[NewJersey]

College friends? You had friends in college???

Actually, I went to college as a "non-traditional" student. I was about 4-5 years older than my classmates. And, I worked 2-3 part time jobs (in addition to full time classes) to pay for my apartment, gas, food. I didn't have a whole lot of time for friends and partying.

There was one lady I became friends with. She was older than me and had four children. To this day, I'm amazed at her dedication to complete her education. We keep in touch, but only sporadically. Mostly because we live far apart and have our own lives.

I think the friendships I miss the most (now) are the ones from previous jobs. I do keep in touch with some of those folks, but things change, life changes, we change...it's sad, but it happens.

I had to use all the $$ I made during college to pay for those friends. I think the gas drove them away.

 

[disykat]

It happens. Most of our friends are situational. We become friends because of proximity and common experiences. When we lose one or both of those, most of the time the friendship fades.

There are a few special people that manage to hang on through the years, but the older I've gotten the more at peace I've gotten with just letting the rest become fond memories.

24 years for me. I have 3 college friends I still keep in contact with. We exchange Christmas cards/letters and try to see each other whenever we find ourselves in the same geographical area. They are exactly the friends I knew I would keep in contact with and would still see all the time if I could.

 

[ziggystardust]

I know the feeling. I have lost touch with a few of my college friends (graduated in May'03) but I knew I would. I'm bad at staying in touch and like you, while I enjoy going out and having fun - it isn't my life. We do IM every once in a while and always have the best intentions to meet up for dinner or drinks, but it never happens.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Ill be graduating in May and i pretty much know the 3 people i will stay in contact with--these are my closest friends, but there are others that im pretty sure i wont really see or talk to after we graduate. and like the OP said, some are still really big into the partying an d drinking constantly, and thats not me, plus i commute to school so i dont go to alot of their parties...

It was the same thing after high school--i still talk to and see a few people, and ill randomly talk to others , but im used to it...

 

[Chattyaholic]

I never went to college, but had it happen after graduating high school. You think you'll be "best friends forever" but you go your separate ways, have separate interests and lives, etc.

I only "keep in touch" with one former high school friend at Christmas. It's nice to exchange cards/letters at that time of the year, but we don't write to each other the rest of the year and since she's in California and I'm in Michigan we never see each other either.

There are a few people I went to school with that I see in town from time to time and we'll say hello to each other but that's about it.

 

[lajones81]

I graduated in 2003 and keep in touch with everyone that I was friends with in college. I think the internet has really helped all of us stay in contact since we are only an email away. Plus, we can easily send pictures to each other online. I hope you will reconnect with your old friends soon. It's so worth it!

 

[DVC-Don]

Graduated from UNH in 1985 I there is no one from college I have contact with anymore.

 

[NewJersey]

I graduated in 2003 and keep in touch with everyone that I was friends with in college. I think the internet has really helped all of us stay in contact since we are only an email away. Plus, we can easily send pictures to each other online. I hope you will reconnect with your old friends soon. It's so worth it!

That's awesome! i think part of the reason though for me is that I'm doing it by choice with some of them.