That's IT! I'm done!!!

[JodyTG]

No, she won't go without him.

 

[TTFN!]

I'd tell the FIL that this cancellation is costing you money. Figure the difference in points between your one bedroom and 2 bedroom, figure them at $8 per point. Tell him that is what you are "out" because of his cancellation, then see if he offers to reimbuse you the difference.

If dFIL wasn't gonna cover the cost of renting an RV so he could go for this 'free' trip, I doubt he's gonna care/cover the $8.00 pp loss to the OP!

OP:

I had this happen to my family too, only it was my Dad. His excuse was a little better (slower healing after hip surgery than anticipated), but we were stuck in a 2 BR at VWL. We enjoyed the space, and only I mourned the wasted points.

I'm still trying to get the Grandparents (my Dad & Mom) down before they are too old (83 & 79) to experience Disney with the grandkids, but they too don't fly. However, they will pay for the RV, so Hopefully next year!

Best of luck to you, and honestly, even if these had been my parents, they would not be invited down again........

 

[JodyTG]

Well, I just called and got us a 1-bedroom at BCV for 8 nights instead of the 7 we were going so now the plans are SET IN STONE and will not be changed again. Our daughter is 15 and a bit disappointed that Grandma isn't going to be her shopping partner but our son is only 3 so he's too young to know the difference.

 

[BroganMc]

Well, I just called and got us a 1-bedroom at BCV for 8 nights instead of the 7 we were going so now the plans are SET IN STONE and will not be changed again. Our daughter is 15 and a bit disappointed that Grandma isn't going to be her shopping partner but our son is only 3 so he's too young to know the difference.

As someone who's lived with lifelong disability, this is precisely what my mom warned me about. "Be careful what plans you back out of since you may never get invited on them again."

That bit of wisdom has been the motivating factor to get me over my sulks, suck up the discomfort and go to a lot of events. Now if I say I might back out it becomes a sign that something is really wrong.

Sorry for your disappointment. I love doing things with my family and getting all the kids together with the adults. One brother has a million excuses why he cancels, all of them lame. Only thing you can do is be honest about your disappointment and let it go. Otherwise you let it fester and ruin your relationship.

Perhaps FIL is feeling just a bit more mortal these days. My dad (75) gets into those funks periodically. Fortunately a trip to Disney gets him feeling like a 5 year old again. No trouble motivating him there.

 

[Inkmahm]

I've read too many horror stories about family backing out. So far, I've been lucky. We're taking my husband's immediate family at Christmas so I had to borrow points as well as transfer points in that I "bought" on the rent/trade board so that we had enough for two 2-bedroom board walk view villas.

We started talking about the trip a year ago + in April 2006 and asked for everyone to commit to going. Then we bought the niece and nephew 10 day park hopper passes for their Christmas gifts last year. Even if their parents backed out at that point, the grandparents would bring the kids anyway.

I made the reservations this past January before anyone had their plane tickets. Now all 12 of us do, and I think I can breath easier that they will all show up. I'm still "iffy" if the dad of the niece and nephew will actualy show up, but he's the one person that I don't care one way or the other if he comes.

 

[gracelrm]

I was burned once from DH's brother and SIL. We had banked and borrowed to take DH's extended family. Reminded them all frequently about deadlines, expenses, etc. Ten days before the 30 day deadline, we sent a blunt letter explaining how not letting us know before X day would affect us personally. What did he do, but cancelled with about 24 days till check-in. We had discussed it at every family gathering for close to two years. Then about 7 days out, everyone except our immediate family told us they were leaving 1 day early. I like those relatives a little better, so was a little more understanding , but still had to cancel a 2BR and a Studio for that Saurday night. The points went into holding, so we decided to sneak in a Christmas trip using the holding points. Had to wait until 60 days before check-in to make our reservation, used the waitlist, got BWV and had an absolutely wonderful time. From the time I found out about it until we got our reservations at 60 days out - I was pretty mad, but I think it turned out to be one of our best trips (the one at Christmas) so I just tell myself it all happened for a reason.

 

[JodyTG]

Perhaps FIL is feeling just a bit more mortal these days. My dad (75) gets into those funks periodically. Fortunately a trip to Disney gets him feeling like a 5 year old again. No trouble motivating him there.

We're not saying anything else to them about their cancelling since we don't want to harm our relationship with them. We just don't understand why FIL is just lying down and giving up. FIL is only 58 years old. That's still young! He had lost a lot of weight and was looking great but then he had surgery and packed it all back on with quite a bit more. His doctor said that he just needs to loose weight and that his health problems will almost disappear. There's a swimming pool and a work-out area at the senior apartment complex we helped them find but he only uses the pool maybe once every couple of weeks even though he feels great afterwards.

I guess I'm comparing him to my family. My grandmother lived until she was 87 and both of her parents lived until 90 and 94. They were all still very active until the day that they died. I remember watching my great-grandfather slopping the hogs and cleaning out the barn when I was a teenager. He'd help get the hay in and take care of the cows and such. My great-grandmother, at about the same time, was still feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs and all that. Watching an 90 year old lady wring a chicken's neck and carry it back to the house is something I'll, unfortunately, never forget.

 

[JimMIA]

My wife is trying to talk me into making arrangements for 12 next year and this is exactly what I am fearing. We put out all the money (would need tp pull points together) and everyone else decides to do back out after arrangements are made since they have no cash impact if they do. They dont understand how borrrowing points is not like borrowing moeny you can just put back. I still dont know what i am going to do but will refer my wife to this thread for sure.

This thread and about 100 others! We see one of these about once a month, and the overwhelming majority of them are MUCH worse than this one.

The culprits vary from relatives to friends, but we usually see two themes. One theme is the fact that the "guests" truly don't understand DVC and they think the room basically costs nothing. Nor do they realize that there really are serious problems with canceling a DVC reservation in many cases.

The other theme is the money part. Folks who have never been to Disney have no idea how expensive it is. They start out all fired up about going and the free room, but then they start trying to find cheap airfare. Then a rental car. Then, they start adding in park tickets. ("You mean tickets don't come with the room?" ) Then, they find out they can get DDP for only $160 a day for a family with 2 adults and 2 kids over 10.

"$160 a day!??! I can feed us for a LOT less than $160 per day!!!"

"I CAN'T???"



"We can't go...something came up."

 

[Inkmahm]

We're not saying anything else to them about their cancelling since we don't want to harm our relationship with them. We just don't understand why FIL is just lying down and giving up. FIL is only 58 years old. That's still young! He had lost a lot of weight and was looking great but then he had surgery and packed it all back on with quite a bit more. His doctor said that he just needs to loose weight and that his health problems will almost disappear. There's a swimming pool and a work-out area at the senior apartment complex we helped them find but he only uses the pool maybe once every couple of weeks even though he feels great afterwards.

I guess I'm comparing him to my family. My grandmother lived until she was 87 and both of her parents lived until 90 and 94. They were all still very active until the day that they died. I remember watching my great-grandfather slopping the hogs and cleaning out the barn when I was a teenager. He'd help get the hay in and take care of the cows and such. My great-grandmother, at about the same time, was still feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs and all that. Watching an 90 year old lady wring a chicken's neck and carry it back to the house is something I'll, unfortunately, never forget.

I may be way off track here, but think about this. Just how overweight is your FIL? Is it enough that he really doesn't think he'll be able to do all the walking at Disney to keep up with the rest of you? The clue is that he lost all the weight at one point so he KNOWS how much easier it is to walk without hauling the extra fat around. And now that he is fat again, he knows how HARD it is to move.

I'm speaking from personal experience. I lost 100 pounds in the last 9 months after having had gastric bypass surgery. My last trip to Disney before the surgery was May, 2006. I was miserable. My next trip was December 2006 and I felt much better after having lost about 60 lbs. My last trip was in April this year when I was down about 85 lbs. There was a world of difference each time in how far I was able to walk and how long I was able to handle the parks without rest breaks. I'm looking forward to our December trip with my DH's family because I WILL be able to keep up with them. I hope to be down another 30 lbs by then.

Perhaps you can use whatever surgery our FIL had as an excuse to offer him the idea of renting scooters to use in the parks? He may truly be scared to death that he can't keep up with the rest of you and embarassed to say anything. I know I would have been in the same situation a year ago. Part of my motiviation to be successful with my surgery is that I know I have this trip in December with my DH's very active family. I need to be able to not be the one to hold everyone back because I'm too fat to walk.

 

[JodyTG]

He's really not THAT overweight though he could really stand to lose the 70 or so pounds he put back on. The extra weight causes his back to hurt which is why we were going to order him a scooter from one of the places in the Disabilities Forum FAQs. I was actually going to reserve it next week when I made our ADRs since the reminder to do so is on my spreadsheet. (Yes, I am a Type A personality compulsive planner... )

I had the entire trip down and back, as well as while we were in WDW, planned out perfectly...or so I though. Every concession I could find to make for him was well planned out and recorded. For some reason, he just doesn't want to go.

Oh, and congratulations on your weight loss. I'm sure you feel great about it. I still have quite a bit of weight still to lose from when our son was born...yep, over 3 years ago. But little by little...1/8 pound by 1/8 pound...its slowly coming off...slowly...

 

[canwegosoon]

That's one thing you can do. Also, if you have current UY points, use those to book their studio so if they cancel 31+ days out and you can bank the points, that's another thing.

We/DSis had 3 plane tix for DMom this year. Luckily USAirways is helping us out a bit, not charging full cancellation fee. As far as her room, she was sharing with DSis, who gets to invite someone or have studio to herself.

Bobbi

I tried to keep that in mind when I made my booking....thanks Bobbi

OP Is there anyway he would fly direct and meet you there (with his wife)? My dad has a bad back and knees...he can not sit of stand for long periods of thime either...but he will fly. Does Amtrak do your route? That's another possibility.

 

[Inkmahm]

He's really not THAT overweight though he could really stand to lose the 70 or so pounds he put back on. The extra weight causes his back to hurt which is why we were going to order him a scooter from one of the places in the Disabilities Forum FAQs. I was actually going to reserve it next week when I made our ADRs since the reminder to do so is on my spreadsheet. (Yes, I am a Type A personality compulsive planner... )

I had the entire trip down and back, as well as while we were in WDW, planned out perfectly...or so I though. Every concession I could find to make for him was well planned out and recorded. For some reason, he just doesn't want to go.

Oh, and congratulations on your weight loss. I'm sure you feel great about it. I still have quite a bit of weight still to lose from when our son was born...yep, over 3 years ago. But little by little...1/8 pound by 1/8 pound...its slowly coming off...slowly...

Thank you! It really has been life saving for me.

If you already had the scooter idea planned, I'm not sure what else you can do to make him comfortable with the idea of going to WDW.

 

[JodyTG]

He will not fly. Period. End of discussion.

But seriously, he won't even talk about flying. I dont' know why he dislikes it so much. I suppose we could look into the train again, but the last time we looked it was double the price of airfare and took much longer than driving to get there since there's not a straight shot from Dallas to Orlando. I believe that the train goes up north first to Chicago or something and then south to Florida. Believe me, I looked at all the possibilities before giving up.

Maybe they'll go with us on the cruise next year since we could sail out of Galveston. He just doesn't seem to be interested in that at all.

Hey, I really want to thank you guys for acting as my shrinks and letting me get this off my chest.

 

[disneymom8589]

I especially liked the part where he said he'd go in an RV if YOU paid for it!!

 

[Dean]

I especially liked the part where he said he'd go in an RV if YOU paid for it!!

Interesting dynamics, we all have family similar to this in one way or another but some are far worse than others.

Why don't you try to get a 1 brdm for yourself and a stuido and try to rent the stuido...10-12 a point will make you feel a lot better.

While it appears the room issues have been worked out for the OP, you can't just split a 2 BR even if it's a lockoff. It would be a cancellation and rebooking thus you'd only be able to do so if another unit were available as in this case at BCV.

 

[BroganMc]

We're not saying anything else to them about their cancelling since we don't want to harm our relationship with them. We just don't understand why FIL is just lying down and giving up. FIL is only 58 years old. That's still young!

I find men tend to take health issues harder and go into "Poor Me Syndrome" (aka PMS) easier. One of my uncles is like that. When he turned 60 he decided his life was over. Meanwhile my mom was on weekly chemo battling metastatic breast cancer for 5 years.

I don't understand why your FIL won't even discuss flying. Makes me think he doesn't really want to go. Maybe your MIL was pushing it and has decided she's just not up to fighting him.

 

[dianeschlicht]

WOW! He's 58 and feeling that way?!?!?!?!?!? I'm older than that and have disc/back issues too, but no way I would ever keep it from letting me enjoy life! He is middle aged, not old! At the begining of this thread, I was thinking we were talking about someone in their 80's!

 

[CarolA]

I'd tell the FIL that this cancellation is costing you money. Figure the difference in points between your one bedroom and 2 bedroom, figure them at $8 per point. Tell him that is what you are "out" because of his cancellation, then see if he offers to reimbuse you the difference.

Heck, he wants her to pay several grand for a motor home. I somehow doubt this guilt's going to work.. (Sorry, but I love that part... You are giving me free lodging, but that's not good enough I need "luxury" transport)

 

[3DisneyKids]

Don't just keep the two bedroom for your own family. Ever since I did this I have been unwilling to stay in anything less! This warning goes double for the Grand Villas!

This is my biggest fear!

I have yet to book a 2 BR for this exact reason...I know that there will be no going back!

But the next time we all go...yup, we're trying the 2 BR! I have vowed not even to walk into the second bedroom. Maybe if I don't see it, it will feel like a 1 BR and then I won't get hooked!

 

[kimberh]

You may have a better trip by yourselves. If he is just 58 yrs old and feels this bad... I was thinking he was in his 70's. I plan on going to Disney in my 70's.