That time of year again...fav Christmas Vacation quotes

perdidobay

<font color=green>Will work for travel ;-)<br><fon
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Feb 17, 2001
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Post yours here folks...............

Ellen......"Well, I don't know what to say.....except it's Christmas, and we're all in mysery"
 
Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark Griswold: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the christmas lights.

Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Cousin Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.

There are some other really funny ones from that same movie, but they wouldn't make it past the censors!!!
 

What on earth are you all talking about?

Clark, Bethany????????????????

:confused: :confused: :confused:
 
Clark: Surprised Eddy? If I woke up tomorrow with my head stapled to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.

Eddy: I don’t know if I should go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: You really think it matters, Eddy?

Clark: Where is Eddy? He usually eats these things.
Catherine: Oh, not recently Clark. He read that squirrels are high in cholesterol.

Ellen: I don’t want to spend the holidays dead.
 
Clark Griswold: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s*** he is! Hallelujah!
 
Aunt Bethany: Don't throw me down, Clark!
 
Clark: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ***. Kiss his ***. Kiss your ***. Happy Chanukah.
 
Clark W. Griswold: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ****ing Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white *** down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *******s this side of the nuthouse!


Todd: Hey Griswold! Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark Griswold: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark Griswold: I wasn't talking to you.
 
These are great :D

Clark: Ed, whats wrong with the dog?

(while you hear heaving from under the table)

Eddy: Oh, he's just yackin' on a bone

( sound of extreme hurling from under the table)

Eddy: He got it up, he's alright now
 
I'm with Disney845. Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ****ing Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white *** down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *******s this side of the nuthouse!

And mrsapalm. Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s*** he is! Hallelujah!

I love this movie, we've watched it twice so far.
 
This is one of my favorite holiday movies, we watch it at least 2-3 times every Christmas. Which reminds me, I've only watched it once so far....hmmmm, maybe tomorrow before I go to work... :D
 
I love this movie so reading this thread is so much fun!!! It's actually a tradition in our family to watch this movie (only once) every Christmas season!!!:D
 
Two more that make me laugh every time I hear them:

Cousin Eddie: You know that metal plate in my head, I had to have it replaced because every time Catherine reved up the microwave I'd pi** my pants and forget who I was for a half hour.

Cousin Eddie about Ruby Sue:
She falls in a well eyes go crossed, she gets kicked by a mule they go back to normal, I don't know

edited for spelling
 
I'm inspired to watch the movie tonight, this thread is cracking me up!
 





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