thanks!

[berries]

Thanks for the replies

 

[berries]

Oh I wantd to mention the only thing I have ever heard children say that could be interpreted as mean would be "what's wrong with you?" or asking me "what is wrong with her?". Back when dd couldn't talk, children would ask why she was holding her ears all the time and I would answer for her. Or she would meltdown and children would ask. But generally I find children are the most accepting and want to help her, moreso than adults!

 

[mechurchlady]

William Shatner did a Twilight Zone episode where there was a monster attacking the jet liner he was on. For a while I had trouble with opening shades because of the scene where he peeks out to see face to face with the monster, lol. My point is that just because we do not actually have something happen to us does not mean that we are not affected.

I am at a meltdown point and needing a nap, stressful day so I cannot think of anything to say that will help you.
Just hugs and chocolates and congratulations on another big step.
Yes it is a big step because now you know why she acts the way she does and her logic behind her choices. You now know why and thus can talk with people here to develop a plan to help her get over those fears and why she does what she does.

CONGRATULATIONS
Big hugs to a wonderful mom.
I ate the chocolates , sorry, stressful day. I got some gluten free cookies you can have.
Laurie

 

[Schmeck]

Can you arrange some structured social time for your daughter? Does she have peer time being homeschooled? Is there a homeschooling support group in your area? From what you have talked about here and in another post, it sounds like you and your daughter are inseparable. That's not always the best for a child, even one with disabilities like your daughter's. She needs some practice being with other children without you around. She could be picking up sublime messages from you about your concerns for her, as well as issues from the books she reads.

Even with homeschooling, is she getting OT and other therapy for her issues? Some roleplaying during these sessions could really help.

 

[berries]

Absolutely. Social skills are worked on daily with groups of kids and adults. Plus lots of social interaction with friends and family. At times I wonder if we do too much (outside activities) and it is overpowering to her.

 

[bookwormde]

I know that was not easy to hear, but is a beginning for you to really open a dialog about what a special person she is and what her place along with all others with her neurovariation have played in our civilization and what amazing potential she has. The more she understands herself the less she will worry about what uninformed neurotypicals think or say. Remember that “bullies” are unfathomable to her since there is no logical reason for this behavior and with a heightened sense of justice these social creations are very scary, very much a “monster in the dark”. My son gets overtly angry when he sees bullying represented on TV.

There are some neat books out there from the very basic like “all cats have Aspergers syndrome” by Kathy Hoopman to “Genius Genes” by Michael Fitzgerald and Brendan O’Brian

For you initially and eventually for your daughter “perfect targets” by Rebekah Heinrichs is a must read as she moves into the broader world.

A councilor experienced with female autism spectrum individuals would also be very helpful for her since some issues she may not be “comfortable” sharing with you.

We always struggle with the activity VS anxiety, balancing act, there are no easy answers in that area.

bookwormde