Thanks for the support

[sunsprinkle24]

Print out those emails before you say anything to him. Hide them. They will be important later if you decide to get a divorce.

I've been through this and I know how heartbreaking it is. I'm sorry, this is something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

 

[RadioNate]

She sounds like she has a a history of this kind of thing. Who knows who else's life she is screwing around with.

So, you have not mentioned finding the emails? If not, good self control. Of so, what'd he say? Besides that you are crazy and all that typical BS.

Had he mentioned any thing like this in couseling? Can you tell from the emails whether this was all sexual talk or if there seemed to be a relationship happening? Not that it matters to me either way but it might give some clues as to what he is looking for.

I am just so sad for you. Do you have a very close friend that could come over or that you could go to her house? Someone who'd keep mum. Life is so crazy after a baby anyway with hormones, lack of sleep, getting your body back etc. and he's been depressed, right? Is he steadily working and all that?

I called him - he knows I know. No I don't have any self control. I needed to know who it was. I am only thankful that isn't someone local.

He can't delete the emails. He is golfing at a work event. One of his employees who has been a friend for years is with him. The guy is even a lawyer. I've talked to both that friend and that friend's spouse. That friend has my DH's cel phone so he can't call her or log into any accounts until he gets home. I DO trust the guy he is with.

I've also put in a call to our councilor.

I have until about 4pm to do anything I want. He has no phone or internet access.

 

[nut4disney]

Document everything. Make duplicates, open a safe deposit box in your name only.

Even if you decide to stay, you'll have evidence in case he kicks it up a notch and starts sleeping around locally.

 

[java]

I am so sorry. In your heart you'll know what is right.
Print out everything you have now before it can be deleted. It is proof if you decide you need it.

 

[Mkrop]

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Print what you need and put it somewhere safe.. I am assuming he is coming home after 4:00pm, maybe you want to talk then.. Maybe the counselor will want to see you both?

Hugs..

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't know what to say except think about things carefully so it will fall in your favor.

Frankly, as evil as it sounds, I would go with a little deceit to put myself in a better position.

You have a 5mo baby which needs your full attention right now. Meaning I would not put my full attention on a cheating spouse so my baby gets cheated out of me.

Does that make sense?

Would I start lying? You bet. I am so sorry.....

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I'm so sorry. I came here to post the same thing about printing out his e-mails. And send a copy to your e-mail address too so you'll have a copy there.

So, let me get this right. He's golfing, and you called him to tell him you found out and he didn't come home to talk about it (grovel and say he's sorry I imagine he'd try to do) right then??? Work function or not, I can't believe he's just waiting to finish his golf game to talk to you about it.

 

[TwingleMum]

I'm terribly sorry. I think you got some really great advice ( get copies of Emails, phone records, his cell phone bills NOW. also secrete money in a different bank in your maiden name so you have a cushion financially. Start looking at your bank records and know exactly how much you as a couple have, where it is and is he removing large sums etc.. Go to an attorney and know your rights and options. Knowledge is power.

Your poor DS that broke my heart. Just make sure you give them extra love and be kind to yourself.

 

[RadioNate]

I'm so sorry. I came here to post the same thing about printing out his e-mails. And send a copy to your e-mail address too so you'll have a copy there.

So, let me get this right. He's golfing, and you called him to tell him you found out and he didn't come home to talk about it (grovel and say he's sorry I imagine he'd try to do) right then??? Work function or not, I can't believe he's just waiting to finish his golf game to talk to you about it.

He is more than an hour a way with out his car. He rode with the co-worker he is with and several people.

 

[happygirl]

RadioNate, with him being gone for the day. Sounds like a good time to pack some stuff and go see your family. Make sure you leave the Emails where he can find them

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

I'm not sure but is FL a "no fault" divorce state? If it is, printing and keeping the emails aren't going to help if they decide to divorce. WA is a no fault state so it doesn't matter if a spouse is cheating or not - basically neither spouse is "at fault".

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

RadioNate, with him being gone for the day. Sounds like a good time to pack some stuff and go see your family. Make sure you leave the Emails where he can find them

I tend to be a little bit evil and this would probably be exactly what I would do. I'd pack up the kids and head out of town for a couple of days to "get my head straight". If he cared at all he would be frantic.

 

[RadioNate]

I want to thank everyone for the advice and support.

Our therapist has recommended that I abandon this thread so I need to do that.

I really need to focus on my kids right now. I did call my mom and I might try to go there. I just need to think of the logistics of DS's school.

I've also decided to confide in my friend. I didn't want to put any of them that are here locally in an ackward position because they have to work FOR my DH. No one should have to know their bosses personal problems.

I've also reached out to a friend in Texas so hopefully I'll hear back from her soon.

Thank you for understanding why I need to abandon this thread right now.

 

[livie1205]

fl IS a no fault state so the cheating is not going to matter to a court UNLESS he used alot of family money to carry on the affair.I would do as the pp said and pack a few bags and the e mails (just for my proof) and leave for a week or two with no contact or little contact...if you cant do that go to a hotel for a few days with room service and A pool..(better yet go to wdw) and before you leave make copies of the e mail and tape them all over the house!!! He WILL know why you left! you have to shock him or things will not change or get better..

 

[rie'smom]

I want to thank everyone for the advice and support.

Our therapist has recommended that I abandon this thread so I need to do that.

I really need to focus on my kids right now. I did call my mom and I might try to go there. I just need to think of the logistics of DS's school.

I've also decided to confide in my friend. I didn't want to put any of them that are here locally in an ackward position because they have to work FOR my DH. No one should have to know their bosses personal problems.

I've also reached out to a friend in Texas so hopefully I'll hear back from her soon.

Thank you for understanding why I need to abandon this thread right now.

Good luck to you!

 

[safetymom]

I am so sorry you are having these problems.

 

[need_a_Disney_fix]

Alison, I am so so sorry you are going through this. Just know that many folks are thinking of you.