Thank you notes or phone calls? - UPDATE!

[Lilacs4Me]

Which would you prefer, or think is the "correct" way of thanking someone?

DS18 started writing thank you notes to people who attended/gave gifts at his graduation party. He hates the way they sound and thinks it's fake and feels very forced-sounding. We were talking tonight about it, and he asked - why can't I just call everyone and have a personal conversation with them instead?

I thought that was an interesting concept. DS18 has very good, close relationships with everyone we invited (family and very close friends only). They would all probably LOVE a personal phone call in lieu of a mailed note, to be honest. (I think!) DS has always been that kid who it's very fun to give a gift to....he is genuinely happy and grateful to even get a pair of socks lol and always makes the gift giver feel really good about giving him something.

If you got a phone call specifically to say thanks and chat a little about the graduates plans/future goals, etc, would you like that? Or would you want a handwritten note instead?

Please know this isn't about him trying to get out of writing out notes....he is willing to do it, he is just struggling with sounding genuine and conveying his gratitude through what he's writing. He has much more of a verbal, warm, in-person kind of personality.

 

[Disneylover99]

Go for the phone call if that's what he want to do. I think either or is fine.

 

[kimblebee]

I say go for the phone call.

This is nothing against you but I find it funny that we all know how the boards can be when it comes to manners and perceived faux pas.. so we have to put in all the disclaimers up front.

 

[low-key]

a text is fine for a 18 year old boy

 

[Shanti]

Which would you prefer, or think is the "correct" way of thanking someone?

DS18 started writing thank you notes to people who attended/gave gifts at his graduation party. He hates the way they sound and thinks it's fake and feels very forced-sounding. We were talking tonight about it, and he asked - why can't I just call everyone and have a personal conversation with them instead?

I thought that was an interesting concept. DS18 has very good, close relationships with everyone we invited (family and very close friends only). They would all probably LOVE a personal phone call in lieu of a mailed note, to be honest. (I think!) DS has always been that kid who it's very fun to give a gift to....he is genuinely happy and grateful to even get a pair of socks lol and always makes the gift giver feel really good about giving him something.

If you got a phone call specifically to say thanks and chat a little about the graduates plans/future goals, etc, would you like that? Or would you want a handwritten note instead?

Please know this isn't about him trying to get out of writing out notes....he is willing to do it, he is just struggling with sounding genuine and conveying his gratitude through what he's writing. He has much more of a verbal, warm, in-person kind of personality.

He should write the thank you notes.

 

[North of Mouse]

I would say either one is very appropriate, and I would accept and appreciate either!! What I don't like and will not accept (personally) is a text or email!

 

[runwad]

What an 18 year old who likes to talk on the phone?? Heck ya I'd like a thank you call!

 

[mamamary]

I think either is fine.

 

[scoutie]

I think it’s a very sweet idea.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Text, email or note is preferred by me. I hate it when people call me!

 

[Meriweather]

I prefer thank you cards, but I think anyway of saying thank you is great!

 

[verleniahall]

keep with tradition and have him write the notes

 

[Squirlz]

The girl across the street sent a card even after I told her Mom that a text would be fine. Then yesterday we got a thank you card from a graduate addressed to our house but intended for the couple that I bought the house from twenty five years ago! I guess they weren't too close.

 

[ronandannette]

I'd take any form of "thank-you", even a heart-felt one at the time the gift was given. If I got something more formal afterwards, be it call, text e-mail or note, I've be very, very impressed.

I didn't even get an acknowledgement let alone a thank you from any of this year's graduates I gave gifts to. Not that I was particularly close to the kids but their mothers are all good friends so I wanted to make the gesture. We also haven't received even a acknowledgement for a rather large memorial donation we made in honor of one of our dearest friends way back in March. I think maybe good manners are going out of style.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think either way is fine, and a phone call would be appreciated.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

A phone call, text or email is is fine and much more environmentally friendly than sending cards. In fact, saying thank you in person at the time of the event is enough for me.

My next door neighbours puts a thank you card in my mail slot any time they are over for dinner and I find it unnecessarily formal. My husband and I say thanks very much at the door and leave it at that. It's probably a generational thing given the 10 year age difference.

 

[DisneylandDarling]

Your son is a rare creature, indeed! lol Actually preferring a phone call? Unheard of!

After my grad party, I sent a thank-you card and called the out-of-state people who sent a gift. The people locally got a thank you in the mail, because we see them more often and a card would have been more special. I, personally, hate talking on the phone and try to avoid it at all costs. It was a big step for me (sounds silly, I know!) to call relatives, but I know they appreciated hearing from me and knowing that I was very appreciative of their gift.

My vote is, whatever would be more "special" to mark the occasion is wonderful.

As a side note, I would be thrilled to receive a thank-you at all. This thread reminded me...Gave my cousin a card with $$$ at her graduation and have yet to receive any type of thank-you. Same goes for my other cousin's wedding. No thank-you for attending or for the gift. Oh well, such as life I guess!

 

[HopperFan]

I think a call is kinda okay because it shows effort but I'd likely be disappointed
I don't think a text is okay because it's lazy
I think the written note is the best option showing the most effort and ....

Our kids are forgetting the art of writing, spelling, proper manners and written structure. While it may feel awkward for him, he is probably going to have to write professionally in the next few years and practice makes perfect. My DD taught college communications and was absolutely shocked at the lack of writing skills these kids had. If they emailed her and used any type of "texting grammar" she would write them back and explain to them it was unacceptable. She would teach them they all needed to improve their writing skills including spelling. She had to teach them how to write a proper email and explain how actual letters are written. Real world is gonna eat some of these kids up.

From my personal rule book:

If I give you a Christmas or Birthday gift in person and you thank me in person, no further thank you is needed. If I mailed it to you I think you should respond with a personal thank you but it could be a phone call.

No matter in person or not if I give you a Graduation gift, Wedding gift or Baby gift .... write a thank you note, personal so that I know that you know what I gave you. It's about good manners, respect and appreciation. Folks who neglect to send a thanks ... will not get another gift for the next occasion. If you didn't appreciate the gift, then you probably don't need any more.

In recent years more often than not there has been zero thanks or appreciation. When I take my whole family out of town to a wedding, pay for hotel, travel, dining, a very generous gift .... only to receive zero thanks ..... When we change our vacation for your shotgun wedding, paying penalties, giving a generous gift .... only to receive zero thanks ... and the examples go on. I'm tired of my name being on a list that is nothing more than folks to collect gifts from. PLEASE don't invite me if you only want the gift.

My kids know that if they don't follow my rules when their time comes ............. ugliness will occur.

 

[PollyannaMom]

When I'm the recipient, I prefer to write notes rather than call.

But when I'm the gift-giver, I think either one is fine!

 

[MIGrandma]

Personally, I think ANY kind of thank you is wonderful!! Handwritten note, phone call, e-mail or text. Any is fine with me, much prefer whatever way the gift recipient wants to do rather than no thank you at all. And for me, if the gift was opened in front of me and the person says "thank you" at that moment, then no other form of thank-you is needed.