Thank you gift for very sweet but very messy, overweight woman?

[missypie]

My son's best friend's mother has done us quite a few favors lately...picking my DS up, dropping him off, etc. I'd like to take her a little "thank you" but here is the problem: The family has the messiest house I've ever seen. (Don't equate this with "poor." The family is quite well off...under the layers of mess I can see custom drapes and nice furniture.) Every surface is covered with something. If I sent flowers, I can't imagine where she'd put them...I'm not being judgmental (my house wouldn't win any prizes) but with the way she keeps her house and yard, I don't think flowers would be meaningful to her.

Also, everyone in the family is quite overweight...I'd feel bad bringing over a cake or other goodies.

Please don't flame me. I'm trying to think of a thank you gift that wouldn't be ridiculous.

 

[preshi]

What about movie tickets? Or a certificate for a manicure?

 

[danacara]

I think a gift certificate for a manicure sounds really nice

 

[nemo1987]

do they have just one kid? if so give her an offer of "hey let your kid stay at my house for the night." that way the parents can have a night alone and maybe you could throw in movie tickets or something. she might like to get away from her kid for the night. just a thought.
**Sarah**

 

[jipsy]

What do the facts that her house is messy and she's overweight have to do with the kind of gift you give her?

Any woman would appreciate flowers. I'm sure she could find a place to put them. And, unless she's on a diet, she might like some goodies.

I don't get it.

 

[Robinrs]

I think you should give her something that reflects the inner her, not what you've seen. It really is the thought that counts not where she'd put it.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by missypie


Please don't flame me. I'm trying to think of a thank you gift that wouldn't be ridiculous.

Ridiculous? Hmmm...how about dropping your nasty, judgemental attitude about her. That would probably be the nicest thank you gift you could give. I see you think she's too slovenly for flowers and to obese for candy, but she can still do little favors for you? If you have such a dim view of her, stop using her as your errand girl/babysitter.

 

[phillybeth]

Hey, have you been over my house recently?

A gift cert sounds like a good idea- how about a night out? Gift cert to a restaurant and movie passes, and a coupon for an evening of babysitting? That way the grown-ups can have a kid-free night.

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, I think people are just being a little harsh here. Ok, my house is not a mess and I'm not overweight but even if both of these were true I can honestly say flowers wouldn't thrill me and unless you bring me a treat I really love that wouldn't thrill me either. I go for a gift certificate. Some places that come to mind are Borders or Bath & Body Works.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

I agree that flowers and candy are fine, unless she has said something to the effect that she doesn't want those things.

I had gained some wait after being on prednisone for a long period of time...and was touched when my partner brought me candy for valentines day and later, for my birthday as well, despite my weight! That made me feel very loved, and it made me feel that my partner saw past my weight issue and brought me something I'd like...CHOCOLATE!

However...if you can think of a gift that doesn't involve caloried stuff...something she'd like just as much, by all means, do so! I'm a huge fan of making individualized gift baskets (don't worry, she'll FIND the room!). Include things you know she likes, and you can include lower caloried food items, too. Things that I like to include are small picture frames, candles, candy, fruit, bath stuff, incense, movie or restaurant certificates...things like that.

Good luck! I hope you find the perfect gift for your friend!

 

[Ella2]

I think it is VERY nice that you want to give her a thank you gift, AND that you are trying to think of something that is useful and appropriate for her.

I have to agree with the gift certificate idea; if you don't want to try and choose one specific store or place you can go to www.giftcertificates.com and get her a "super certificate" that can be redeemed at one of hundreds of stores, restaurants, etc.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

What about a gift certificate to Barnes & Noble? Or Borders? Everyone enjoys book shopping. I like the manicure idea too.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

Oh... I also wanted to say... I think the title of your thread is inappropriate. I think that's why some people have posted negatively to this thread.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Originally posted by Bojangles
Ridiculous? Hmmm...how about dropping your nasty, judgemental attitude about her. That would probably be the nicest thank you gift you could give. I see you think she's too slovenly for flowers and to obese for candy, but she can still do little favors for you? If you have such a dim view of her, stop using her as your errand girl/babysitter.

Let's say that, for the sake of argument, that the original poster is being nasty and judgemental. You are NOT going to help her see a less judgemental path by attacking her and passing judgement on her. She has a good heart, which is why she wants to take a gift to this woman. I do agree that she should purchase the gift without regards to the woman's messy house or wieght UNLESS the friend has stated she is on a diet or doesn't want more stuff cluttering her house.

I used to volunteer for a gay rights organizations. It was our job to educate people to the fact that homosexual people were normal and deserved equal rights and stuff like that. I learned VERY early on that people were FAR FAR FAR more likely to understand my point of view of I didn't belittle them for their opinions. When you put somebody down, you put them on the defensive and when people are on the defensive, they are far less likely to hear your point of view. Let's say the OP is uncomfortable with her friends weight....IF that is the case, she's obviously trying to get past that. You can HELP her along by pointing out that overweight people like candy, too, and that it's ok to give them candy unless you know they don't want it. You are in a position to help her better understand a situation that she knows little about. Believe me, you'll get much further in making your point without the personal attack.

 

[disykat]

Personally I do not like clutter and don't really enjoy flowers or nickknacks that take up space. I especially wouldn't enjoy them if I couldn't find a space to display them. I also don't enjoy getting goodies when I am working on my weight. I think the OP has the right idea - trying to find a gift that would be appropriate just in case.

I got royally flamed on this board once for admitting I tossed out a gift I didn't enjoy. No one can win here.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by Dakota_Lynn
Let's say the OP is uncomfortable with her friends weight....IF that is the case, she's obviously trying to get past that.

She never said that this person was her friend. Just that she was a messy, obese woman that does favors for her. It's her "son's best friend's mother".

 

[tiggersmom2]

I think it is a shame that someone posted on this board for our good thoughts and our help, yet someone wants to be ugly and tell her she has a nasty attitude and is judgemental. Hello, we are all judgemental to a degree! The OP of this thread obviously thinks a great deal of this lady or she would not want to give her a gift.

To the OP, I say give her a gift certificate to a nice store or heck even Wal-Mart (who doesn't need to go to wal-mart for necessities! )

 

[chager]

Being a person that is overweight and currently has a VERY cluttered house (not trash but just stuff everywhere) I would say a gift certificate would be great. I know I love the movie ones. Sometimes it is the only way we get to go out.
I do like flowers and did find a place for some recently. (I have finally gotten around to throwing them away too )

(A little insight to messy houses...sometimes there is only one person that will clean and when that one person is REALLY busy with say, homeschooling, running people everywhere, helping with family issues, and anything else that comes up the house usually gets out of control. At this point it is so overwhelming it is hard to decide where to start cleaning. It is usually more clutter then trash. My house just looks like it is under construction As far as the overweight thing goes...see above and try to fit in a trip to the gym while feeling guilty that the house is in such a disarray!)

Relax...I'm sure she will appreciate whatever you decide to do.

 

[ckmommy]

I agree with the above posters that said a gift certificate to Borders--movies or for a manicure would be great.

Sometimes these board have the most critical paople on them, and I wonder why I post anything. I think you're being VERY thoughtful of your friend by looking for things that might reward her but not cause clutter in her house or guilt for eating too much....

 

[mommytotwo]

I would get her a gift certificate or a store card to a grocery store. Everyone needs to buy groceries right. If she wants, she can treat herself to some flowers or snacks there.
I think it is nice of you to thank them for everything you are doing for them.