Tennis shoes at a funeral?

[dzneelvr]

Do NOT worry about the apparel!When my dad died suddenly 24 years ago, I cannot remember any clothing item worn but I can remember the High School sports' teams who came and gave their respects God Bless Your son for wanting to go

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I think the outfit you described would be perfectly acceptable. It isn't about the clothes you are wearing but the fact that he cared enough to show up and pay his respects.

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You beat me to it. That is exactly how I feel.

I've been to many funerals and lately both my parents and in laws. I certainly couldn't tell you what people were wearing. Having a teen showing his respects is absolutely wonderful.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I think it's becoming more common to have people dress casually at a funeral. My sister's FIL passed away in April and there were many people there in very casual clothing. Many of them were in the same age group as her FIL - 60's.

I think your son will look fine. The important thing is that he is there, not what he is wearing.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[LJC1861]

My mom's memorial service is this Saturday. For years, actually as long as I can remember she said that she did NOT want people to wear black to her funeral. She HATED black. My Dad made it known to all of us and at church that he hoped that people would wear bright colors. Mom's favorite color was pink. I have chosen to wear a brightly colored hawaiian shirt...with lots of pink in it and my pink and white Crocs Islander's,(Crocs were mom's all time favorite shoe.) and a khaki shirt.

I think it will make her smile....and I really don't care what anyone else thinks.

Linda

 

[disneydreamingdebby]

My mom's memorial service is this Saturday. For years, actually as long as I can remember she said that she did NOT want people to wear black to her funeral. She HATED black. My Dad made it known to all of us and at church that he hoped that people would wear bright colors. Mom's favorite color was pink. I have chosen to wear a brightly colored hawaiian shirt...with lots of pink in it and my pink and white Crocs Islander's,(Crocs were mom's all time favorite shoe.) and a khaki shirt.

I think it will make her smile....and I really don't care what anyone else thinks.

Linda

Linda, this made me smile.

We played Jimmy Buffet at my dad's viewing. We knew some people were probably surprised (to say the least) but we wanted to celebrate his life (he died young of cancer.)

OP: I think that it is respectful to dress for a funeral, but that doesn't mean suit and tie. Your son's attire sounds very appropriate. Sorry for your loss.

 

[Mama Who]

My mom's memorial service is this Saturday. For years, actually as long as I can remember she said that she did NOT want people to wear black to her funeral. She HATED black. My Dad made it known to all of us and at church that he hoped that people would wear bright colors. Mom's favorite color was pink. I have chosen to wear a brightly colored hawaiian shirt...with lots of pink in it and my pink and white Crocs Islander's,(Crocs were mom's all time favorite shoe.) and a khaki shirt.

I think it will make her smile....and I really don't care what anyone else thinks.

Linda

I attended a memorial service last year where a similar request was made and it was wonderful. Far more in keeping with the deceased than a somber affair would have been. I am sorry for your loss and I hope the day is filled with joyful memories.

 

[RainbowBrite]

My MIL's brother died back in February. I had gained quite a bit of weight and realized last minute that my black dress pants did not fit. I had to wear black jeans to the funeral and I worried that she would be upset with me for wearing jeans. DW told her I was concerned about it, and MIL came up to me and said "You could have shown up naked and I would have just been glad that you were here." So I think that's what really counts!

 

[mamajoan]

My middle son has extra large feet too. Size 16 most of the time, occaisionally a 15 or a 17

You can find dress shoes at CASUAL MALE. It is a mens store for large and tall men. They have dress and casual shoes in larger sizes. I think I have seen up to size 20 there. The selection is not really big, but the styles are current. My son started shopping for shoes there when he was 14 years old. They also have nice sandals and flipflops. They also have an online store.. I think. I know that my son is very happy when he gets the 20$ coupon in the mail .. he is off to purchase shoes.


I have seen lots of teens at funerals ( not pall bearers tho) wearing clean, neat tennis shoes.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[JessicaR]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think the most important element is that you are attending. Make do with what he has.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I think they'd be fine. I was just at a funeral where I saw all kinds of dress (it was a teenager's funeral, so I guess that made it more likely) and the only person who made me look twice (and kind of wonder) was the girl in running shorts and a tshirt, but I'm sure she had her reasons.

 

[spacemountainmom]

My mom's memorial service is this Saturday. For years, actually as long as I can remember she said that she did NOT want people to wear black to her funeral. She HATED black. My Dad made it known to all of us and at church that he hoped that people would wear bright colors. Mom's favorite color was pink. I have chosen to wear a brightly colored hawaiian shirt...with lots of pink in it and my pink and white Crocs Islander's,(Crocs were mom's all time favorite shoe.) and a khaki shirt.

I think it will make her smile....and I really don't care what anyone else thinks.

Linda

I am so sorry about your mom, but this brought a smile to my face too.

A very dear friend passed away from breast cancer last November. Her favorite color was purple. The word passed around to wear purple to her memorial service. It was neat to look around the church and see all the purple being worn in her honor.

 

[ilovepcot]

Deleted

 

[POPCITY]

That outfit sounds just fine, I wouldn't think twice about it.

I do think that, once a person stops growing, they need to dress up a little for a funeral. Not kids or teens, it makes no sense buying clothes they will only wear once. But an adult should have a nice set of clothes, just khakis, shoes, and a dress shirt if nothing else. My cousin, who is 30 something, wore sweatpants and a tshirt with holes in it to my grampa's funeral, and I thought it was very disrespectful.

 

[kaligal]

The thing that matters is not upsetting people who are grieving. It really doesn't matter a bit what the DIS thinks.

If you think there is a chance that you'll cause the grieving people to be more upset (because they consider it disrespectful or whatever), don't have him wear the gym shoes...or leave him at home.

If you are positive that they couldn't care less what anyone wears to the funeral, wear the gym shoes.

I wouldn't do it if I thought I'd upset someone who was already grieving.

That said, I wore gym shoes to my mother's funeral. I have bad feet. Mom knew it. Family knows it and they wouldn't care, anyway. If God wanted me to wear nice shoes in His house, then He'd have given me better feet.

 

[Costumesaremylife]

My Dad just passed away and truthfully the only thing I can remember about people's clothes is that someone I didn't know came in wearing pajamas. Your son will be fine. If people judge his shoes, then the really need to get a hobby.

 

[mamamary]

My son recently attended a wake for his friend's grandfather. My son didn't have dress shoes so he wore black sneakers. The family was very grateful that my son attended and i know they did not care what he wore - just that he was there to support the family.

 

[shortbun]

Sounds crazy but check a thrift shop. We've gotten a pair or two for DS, size 15 now, when he needs them for one short event. Otherwise, he has all these brightly colored basketball shoes, some running shoes and a pair of sandals. Oh, and I wouldn't care what shoes anyone had on or other clothes for that matter.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Just here to echo what all the PPs have said.

No one will care; most people won't care what he's wearing, they'll just be glad he showed up; but even the most stringent sticklers for clothing etiquette generally give teenage boys who are still in their growth spurt a pass on sneakers.

 

[Minnesota!]

It's fine.
If someone is arrogant enough to think it's rude, well, they're welcome to buy your son a pair of "appropriate" shoes.

Thanks! I was not very close to her, but it still is really sad. She was just diagnosed with cirrhosis and liver cancer three weeks ago. She was not ever a drinker and they don't know what caused it. I'm very sad for my uncle and the kids, grandkids and great grand-kids. She was around 70 years old and seemed fine when I saw her in January.

I am so sorry for your loss...

Did she have a cold recently, by chance? 2 people in my life have died recently - both developed cirrhosis/liver cancer after having a cold/taking cold medication! The doctors of both said it is a lot more common than one would think - that cold medication really messes with the liver!

 

[torinsmom]

I am so sorry for your loss...

Did she have a cold recently, by chance? 2 people in my life have died recently - both developed cirrhosis/liver cancer after having a cold/taking cold medication! The doctors of both said it is a lot more common than one would think - that cold medication really messes with the liver!

I really don't know. Her daughter said that she just stopped feeling like cooking. She has always cooked for the whole family each Sunday. She once told my mom that there is no reason to go to the dr. unless you are actually sick. Evidently, she and my uncle(who is 75) have not been to the doctor in years. So what she had could have been building for a long time. My mom did say she saw a lot of vitamin bottles in my aunt's bathroom, and wondered if she could have been taking too many. I'm sure we'll never know. It would be very unusual to do an autopsy on someone who is older and was diagnosed with liver cancer by a doctor.