Tell me about your Dyslexic Child

[Disneyforus]

My husband and I are coming to the conclusion that our 3rd grade daughter may have dyslexia...after interventions for the last 2 years she is still struggling so much with reading/spelling. She is a very bright girl in every way, so the disconnect with her ability to read is very perplexing to us. She had a reading tutor all summer (for the second summer) in hopes of "cathching" her up. She is almost exactly where she was in May, now in September. I brought up the dyslexia over a year ago to our School reading parapro. She totally blew it off. We have already asked for an assessment from our School psychologist, but after a telephone conversation with her I am not expecting to receive any great information. Maybe though, we'll see. So my husband and I think we may go through a private agency/source to have her tested. I don't know who this would be, and plan on calling my pediatrician for a referal.

Anyway, I would love to hear other's stories on getting a diagnosis and treatment. I know that there is no way to cure it but, how do children cope with it? What things can we do to support her? Reading is so vital...I just don't know what to do for her. This has been such a heartbreaking experience for all of us. She is a great kid, with no behavior problems, loves school so far...but I think she is starting to get frustrated with her inability.

Thanks for any information that might help us!

 

[Whistle]

I am a 3rd grade teacher, and will help all that I can. Can you describe more some of the problems you are seeing? You have mentioned that she is having a hard time reading. What specific defecits are you seeing (sight word recall, decoding words, etc) Within her spelling, what are you noticing?

Your school should have some sort of "child study" committee (each school calls it something different) that as a parent you have the right to refer your daughter. They will come together as a group (with you) and brainstorm strategies to help. Then they document the strategies tried for six or so weeks and then you meet again to evaluate if it has helped. Also, as a parent you have the right to ask that your daughter be tested. A test won't solve everything (you might get a "label") but it can provide some answers like how your daughter learns best, strenghts, weaknesses, etc. Also, in VA, standardized testing starts in 3rd grade so a label here can provide testing accomodations for students who need it as well as other special education services.

There are many components to consider, I would be glad to help anyway I can. If you can provide some more specific information, I may be able to offer more advice.

 

[badblackpug]

Not a personal experience, but I have a friend whose daughter has dyslexia. (she is now in college, so don't panic!) If I remember correctly, she received special Ed services for 2 years, in a pull out program, then was "mainstreamed" back into a "regular" classroom. My friend described it as teaching her in a different way that helped her cope with her particular type of difficulty. She did well throughout the rest of school, and as I said before, she is now in college.

As for the testing, if you have a large university hospital in your area that has a sizeable pediatric department or a children's hospital, they probably have an educational psych department that can do testing for you.

 

[momofrrr]

First of all let me say don't dispare.....

Our daughter is dyslexic but her's is a phononeurological issue. She started out as speech delayed and then the issues just opened up. She was in pullout starting in Kindergarten thru 4th grade when she completed the program. She is now in the 8th grade and while she is not in preAP classes she does make all A's and B's. She works hard for them and sure, she could work harder, but I know how frustrated she gets. She cannot spell to save her life but I suppose there are worse issues she could deal with. As far as the "label" goes it is not an all toghether bad thing. Once she falls under that umbrella you always have the option of going back to any necessary modifications that you might need to put in place that will benefit her. It can even help them in college, I have heard of people that have note takers for them because they could not concentrate and write at the same time.

She had a great Dyslexia coach in Elementary and I Have gone back to her several times since she has left there and she has been more than willing to step up on her behalf even though she technically is no longer in the program.

I wish you all the best, it really hurts when your child struggles....Just remember how many successful people today are dyslexic she will still be very successful.....

 

[Kallista]

My brother has dyslexia. He received private tutoring for 5+ years, twice a week, incuding the summer.

He graduated college with a degree in comp sci. He is a lead software developer.

If you're looking for information about dyslexia, I would recommend a book called "The Mislabeled Child." It has a lot of information about treatment and home interventions. The authors (Dr. Brock Eide and Dr. Fernette Eide) also have a great clinic called the Neurolearning Clinic. Fernette Eide writes a lot about dyslexia. It's a special interest. (They graduated from Harvard Medical, BTW.)

 

[Drewsmommybear]

I have been a reading specialist for the past 12 years and I have dealt with many different reading issues. If you'd like, you can Private message me (or write here) and I can give you kind of an idea of where to start and what to look for. I'd say the first thing I always tell parents is that they need to be their child's best advocate and you seem to already be doing this. Also, ask questions and demand answers.

Dyslexia takes many forms so when you discuss anything with a teacher or psychologist, be very specific about what is happening. There are many programs that can be used with people who read differently and there are many ways that people with reading disabilities learn to overcome their issues.

PM me. I'd love to be able to help.

 

[danjoealexis3006]

My DS(11) is dyslexic. He is bright and really thinks outside the box but he also has ADD and fine motor issues that make it difficult to write(dysgraphia). He has letter reversals and confusions, has difficulty sounding out words, cannot spell very well, short term memory issues (math facts are very difficult for him, they just won't stick to his brain!), and he has trouble organizing his thoughts to write them on paper.
Please keep in mind that there are different severities of dyslexia.

Here's our story:

The school kept telling me he would grow out of it and they gave him special reading instructions and we hired a tutor. By third grade his new teacher said he needed a special ed evaluation(I had been saying that for 3 years!:confused). The school said he did have a learning disablity and their remedy was to put him in a class with a special ed teacher that said he was "lazy". The school refused to implement an orton-gillingham program that is proven to help those with dyslexia. So I made the school pay for independent testing and this is when we discovered the fine motor issues on the right side of his body and that he indeed does have dyslexia. After 2 years in special ed he made a 1/2 year improvement ( he can read at a second grade level and he is in 5th grade). Unfortuately, we waited and waited and now I am dealing with a pre-teen that thinks he's stupid.

My DH and I pulled him from school and I am homeschooling using the Barton Reading and Spelling system. I am already seeing improvements in his attitude

My advice ADVOCATE for your daughter! DO NOT take no from the school district. If the school does not help you and you want to seek independent testing remember the school does not have to accept the diagnoisis. Find a special education advocate in your area to help if you can not get anywhere with the school! Goodluck and please keep us informed on what happens.

 

[Disneyforus]

Wow, Thanks everyone for all your advice. I have a lot to think about. I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed with all this. I put a certain level of trust in the professionals at our school the last couple years, but i just don't see the improvement that they said would happen, and now I have a 3rd grader who is asking/questioning why this is all so hard for her.

I am making a list of all the things she is really struggling with to organize my mind a bit too. So far this is what I have~

~Decoding is a huge problem for her
~she struggles with sounding out words she doesn't know
~she puts words into sentences that are not there, just random ones that might sound right in the sentence
~very slow reading
~can't copy words (ie..from dictionary or paper she is working on) without leaving out letters
~the few sight words she "knows" she can't spell consistantly
~she still has some number reversals
~still mixes up sounds of letters at times when she is reading text
~spelling is horrible, she rarely uses vowels...she seems (I'll have to observe this better) to verbally spell things ok, but not on paper
~when we ask her why she reads a word wrong that she obviously knows she says " I don't know why my brain does that."
~the reading teachers all last year kept telling me that she needs to be a more careful reader. ????? My daughter is working so hard with all this, I don't think it is intentional lack of carefullness.


She loves to write stories, and they are good too...if you can read them. She is good at math story problems and more complex math, but can't memorize her simple addition/subtraction. She can figure them out, but when she is timed on them..she can't do it.

I think I may call the school psychologist back on Monday and giver her this more concise list before she meets with my daughter for her assessment. I don't even know if she is the correct person to assess for a reading dissability, though the Title 1 Reading director at our school doesn't seem to be able to give me more specific info.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I just read through the list of things that your dd does/does not and my ds8 is almost identical with the exception of math where he is very good. My ds started out speech delayed - he started in the speech program in K the 2nd week of school and was just released last year mid-way through 2nd grade. There are still a lot of sounds that he struggles with but he tests within the normal range. He has a terrible time spelling and reading. He can read fine, but he's too slow. His 2nd grade teacher labeled him as "lazy" and said he needed to try harder but he just can't. His pediatrician referred him to a Pyschologist to have him tested for dyslexia but our insurance would not cover the testing and we could not afford to have it done. I contacted the school and they said to have his "vision" checked - there is nothing wrong with his vision. I have spoken to several teachers/parents in our school system that said I need to make a formal request to have him tested for learning disabilities including dyslexia. I am going to call the BOE this week.

 

[Drewsmommybear]

The reason why teachers suggest getting eyes checked and waiting for reversals before grade three is that before that age, there is so much growth going on in a child's brain and with the optical nerve. It isn't unusual for children to see things upside down or backwards sometimes during this time. However, I would begin to get concerned around the end of 2nd grade or if your child is reversing letters that are harder to reverse like K's. b's, p's, d's, and q's are normal.

 

[gr8leg8]

Howdy from an adult with Dislexia.

Happy, Healthly, and a Great Mom as a adult.
As a kid, I was the younger sister of one of the smartest kids in the room.
Most of my teachers thought I just wasn't trying.

It wasn't until college that a teacher mentioned I was smart. I shrunk from the word like it was a insult.
But that was a turning point for me. It started to change my self image.

Thankfully at that point I was a drama major.
My grades were based on doing - not written words, numbers, etc.

Alan Alda on Scientific American Frontiers had a wonderful show on the brain.
When a dominant side is strong enough to take over another brain area there can be an imbalence. Most dislexics are dominant at something that is not valued in a classroom setting.

Many of the kids I was in special ed with are now teachers.

My coping mechanisms are:
* Spell check is your friend

* Take my time. Don't let people rush me when numbers are involved. I will repeat a phone number aloud (slowly) to catch any errors.

* Remind myself of my strengths.

* I scan the words when reading. If I look at them too long I don't seem what's written.


I learn by doing. The "memorize, regurgitate for a test, and delete" learning model doesn't work for me. I need to learn it, not just memorize. It needs to be important to me.


I found the world beyond high school was wonderful.

As a mom I continue learning with my DD7.
We go to science museams, swimming, ice skating, library programs, and lots of park time.

Guess who else has dislexia?
Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell, & Thomas Edison,
Bill Gates, Henry Ford,
Leonardo de Vinci, Pablo Picasso,
Hans Christian Anderson, Agatha Christie,
Erin Brockovich,

and lots of actors (big surprise)
Orlando Bloom
Tom Cruise
Keanu Reeves
Kiera Knightley

"Prepare the child for the path,
not the path for the child"

&

Bloom where you are planted

Thank you for all the support you can give her,
it will have an impact that will last a lifetime.


sorry this is so long,
I bet you can guess I feel kinda strongly about this.

 

[clanmcculloch]

Wow, Thanks everyone for all your advice. I have a lot to think about. I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed with all this. I put a certain level of trust in the professionals at our school the last couple years, but i just don't see the improvement that they said would happen, and now I have a 3rd grader who is asking/questioning why this is all so hard for her.

I am making a list of all the things she is really struggling with to organize my mind a bit too. So far this is what I have~

~Decoding is a huge problem for her
~she struggles with sounding out words she doesn't know
~she puts words into sentences that are not there, just random ones that might sound right in the sentence
~very slow reading
~can't copy words (ie..from dictionary or paper she is working on) without leaving out letters
~the few sight words she "knows" she can't spell consistantly
~she still has some number reversals
~still mixes up sounds of letters at times when she is reading text
~spelling is horrible, she rarely uses vowels...she seems (I'll have to observe this better) to verbally spell things ok, but not on paper
~when we ask her why she reads a word wrong that she obviously knows she says " I don't know why my brain does that."
~the reading teachers all last year kept telling me that she needs to be a more careful reader. ????? My daughter is working so hard with all this, I don't think it is intentional lack of carefullness.


She loves to write stories, and they are good too...if you can read them. She is good at math story problems and more complex math, but can't memorize her simple addition/subtraction. She can figure them out, but when she is timed on them..she can't do it.

I think I may call the school psychologist back on Monday and giver her this more concise list before she meets with my daughter for her assessment. I don't even know if she is the correct person to assess for a reading dissability, though the Title 1 Reading director at our school doesn't seem to be able to give me more specific info.

Much of what you're describing sounds like tracking problems combined with some letter reversal and visual retension problems. My daughter had these same types of issues. We had her evaluated by a COVD eye doctor. These doctors are trained in these types of visual learning differences. Regular eye doctors aren't. My daughter received 4 months (yes only 4 months) of vision therapy twice per week and she no longer has these issues. She's having to working hard to catch up to where she should be and she'll likely always struggle with some fine motor skill issues because of learning these skills while having trouble seeing what she's doing, but the difference is remarkable.

Take a look at the COVD website for more information. They also have a doctor search so you can find an eye doctor who is trained to evaluate these types of problems. My insurance company even paid for the majority of the cost of my daughter's VT. If insurance companies believe it's worth covering (you know, companies that won't cover ANYTHING that they deem even remotely unproven) then there's got to be some validity to the therapy. I'm grateful that we did VT for our daughter.

 

[Disneyforus]

"Prepare the child for the path,
not the path for the child"

&

Bloom where you are planted

Thank you for all the support you can give her,
it will have an impact that will last a lifetime.


sorry this is so long,
I bet you can guess I feel kinda strongly about this.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with me/us, as a parent you can see both sides of this situation in a way mopst people couldn't possibly understand. You sound like an amazing woman!

 

[Becky2005]

I haven't read through the replies but *so* understand where you are coming from.

My 12 year old is "unofficially" dyslexic -- we never really had him officially diagnosed but we knew in 1st grade something wasn't right. Our school has a reading intervention program that anyone gets referred to & if that doesn't help, you go to the next step which is an IEP. My son ended up with the IEP.

It would drive me crazy because he's smart but just couldn't get this reading. They told me they didn't like to look for dyslexia before age 8 because a lot of times kids will just all of a sudden click with reading before then (I'm still waiting!!). However, then they handed me a paper on dyslexia because he was a textbook case. So, how was that for double talk? Ha Ha! Since he's under 8, we can't say he's dyslexic but on the other hand, he's pretty much is following the textbook case of it. I had talked to a few other people (who didn't know each independantly suggested dyslexia to me to look into before the school even did).

We did get his eyes checked & that is always a good start. He also had speech, which I don't think is related but who knows. He graduated out of that middle of 1st grade.

In our case, we really don't do much more than what the school offers but he has been going to summer school since 1st grade for it. This year he actually passed out of the remedial English class in MS. I was surprised when I got the call asking to move him based on the assessment test he took. They did put him in regular English with a TON of help though as there is no way he would pass normally. Right now he is getting a C in the class & that's impressive. My DD had this particular teacher & she is a really tough teacher. My DD doesn't have any reading issues (and reads ahead of her grade, etc...) and worked *extremely* hard just to pull a B off in this same class. At the end of this 1st quarter we will decide if this was the right move or we need to move him back.

I know spelling is hard, they have modified his list. I know it's just something he is always going to have to deal with. He DOES improve every year but just at a slow pace. We had a teacher at our church, use Susan Barton's program which was nice. It was a win-win situation for us. She taught HS special ed students, so was using DS basically so she got more experience using the program & at the same time it helped DS. The first year it was just him, this was 4th grade I think. The next year there were other kids too since our church has a small school attached, so any kids from the school that seemed to need an extra boost also had her. She did this for us for free. I know she said he was basically to the point of he understands it, he is just has to take more time to read/comprehend things than others. He still tends to have to sound words out more than read fluently.

I know there is a dyslexia institute around here I could take him to, however, since he is improving, we don't have insurance to cover any of it, we are working on it here. I know they do testing there too. It's something to look into if the school isn't going to help.

Hang in there. It's something we have been dealing with for years and probably something he will always deal with in so many ways. Our school has been great with accomodations but real life doesn't always have those so I want him to at least be able to read enough to "get by" in life. I really doubt he will choose to be a writer for a living. He's way more into math/computers.

You can definitely request an evaluation. I do know there are steps they have to go through first (i.e. in our district it's the basic reading intervention FIRST before they will even go to the next step).

 

[dormouse72]

My 14 year old is dyslexic. We started noticing it when she was still in pre-school (i.e. - difficulty identifying letter out of sequence in the alphabet). At first, we let it go. By 2nd grade it was torture. Her comprehension level was great - I could read her college level books and she'd follow plot, character, and make incredible observations. But all of the observations you see in your daughter, I saw in mine.

My friend works for a school for kids on the autism spectrum and asked her boss to observe my daughter. After 20 minutes she gave me the name of who to write at the local Committee on Special Education to officially request an evaluation. She additionally said that she would evaluate her as well and go with me to the hearing.

The testing took three full days in school and six session with the outside evaluator. At first the school treated me like a crazy parent - like I couldn't accept that my child was "average". After the IQ test, the psychologist called me to say her IQ was exceptionally high - "there must be a problem, she should be one of the highest performing students in the school!" Needless to say, she got approved for services.

They have been incredibly helpful. Thankfully she still loves to read and devours books as quickly as she can get her hands on them. The pull-out classes were hard - not academically but socially. It's hard to be signalled out as being different and while she made it through, no matter how well she did she was never eligible for the honor roll.

We moved and our new district doesn't have pull-out classes; they are full inclusion classes. She still has accomodations - extra test time, a word bank, spelling waived on classroom assignments, notes handed out by the teacher. She still goes to academic support period instead of having two electives. She will be using a new program which digitizes her textbooks so she can download them and listen along while she reads. This way she still has the energy to do the written assignments rather than use it all up just reading. Best of all - she regularly makes the honor roll.

There are steps you will have to go through - it may be that the district has to go through certain interventions first or that you have to make the request in writting. Different districts have different approaches to providing services. You may agree or disagree with them. They all won't work with your child and there will be a period of trial and error until she figures out what works for her. When my daughter was first diagnosed, I went to a site called All Kinds of Minds. One of the best things they have (or had) was a sampling of different "tests" which you as the parent take - the upshot being how hard our kids brains have to work in order to try to make sense of the symbols in front of them. It's pretty amazing.

You'll both learn a lot and it will be worth it.

 

[Kanga+2Roos]

My DS7 was just tested earlier this year & was found to have a learning disability. When I questioned the district specialist he said that means he has dyslexia. I'm still not sure about his catchall for that but he now is enrolled in special ed so I will see if his teacher agrees with that once she works with him for awhile. DS is pulled out of class 2 hours each day for special ed--1 for reading & 1 for math--and the rest of the day is spent in his regular classroom.

The Title 1 learning teacher who has worked with DS since kindergarden would always say "I am very concerned about him" when we went to conferences. When I would ask if she meant that he should be held back she just said it was too early to decide that. Well, he went on to 1st grade since he was showing improvement & wasn't flatlined. When we had conferences again with the same Title 1 teacher during 1st grade she made the same statement. I finally said would you please tell me what you are getting at. It was then that she finally said that we were entitled to have him tested by the district specialist if we requested it--well, why didn't she say so one year earlier! Since he was diagnosed past the halfway point of 1st grade they decided to have him officially start special ed this fall. So far he is excited about it & I'm anxious to talk to the special ed teacher when conferences come up just to see what she has to report.

Luckily our school distict matches students up with the homeroom teacher who is best suited to help them with the disability. The one he has this year actually went thru a program last year that made the teachers think like a dyslexic & she said it was very hard. They then taught them non-traditional tricks to teach a dyslexic student that can even help other kids in the classroom that may be struggling. I see a great year ahead & we'll do whatever it takes to help him stay positive.

While we're on this subject--do any of you know of any forums or even informational websites for dsylexics/parents of dsylexics? It really is tough to watch your child struggle & it would be nice to have some support & advice.

Definitely don't settle for "no" when it comes to your child. You know her more than anyone & if you see that something just isn't clicking trust your instincts! Some districts want to look the other way because diagnosing a learning disability means they have to put extra money into that child. That is what they are there for! Good luck & please keep us posted on how things are progressing!

 

[akelly]

I have two daughters with dyslexia. One is 13, in eighth grade. The other is 8, in third grade. Your list of your daughter's difficulties could have been written by me.

In talking with many people I learned that, at least around here, going through the public school system's testing is a waste of time.

We took my 13 year old to an highly recommended educational psychologist. Our DD went in for a lot of testing and the diagnosis was, as we suspected, dyslexia. Our DD8 has not been in for testing, yet, per the educ. pysch. recommendations. The symptoms are the same as her sister's and the testing is expensive. He said to wait since we wouldn't do anything differently with an official diagnosis. BTW, the testing was not covered by insurance, although we could pay with our health savings account.

Although our DDs struggle with reading and spelling they are very intelligent children. It is amazing to see how well they do in certain things vs. children without dyslexia. I have learned that the same thing that makes them reverse letters makes them extremely gifted in the abstract and three dimensional arena. That's why dyslexics are typically terrific engineers and architects.

Know that your daughter needs a different kind of reading instruction. Do you have a school for children with learning differences in your area? These are not schools that have children with below average intelligence. The one in our area only accepts children with average intelligence or higher. They are truly a school that knows how to teach reading the way a dyslexic needs to learn. They can give you contact info regarding tutors specifically trained to teach children with dyslexia - either through their school or not.

Our DD8 has slight difficulty with pronouncing unusual words. A funny story... our DD8 was trying to say "dyslexia" a couple months ago and she couldn't quite get it out correctly. She asked, "Why do they call it that when the people that have it can't even say it?"

One other thing we learned - read, read, read to your daughter. Read things above her reading level. Because dyslexics typically cannot read material at their age level their vocabulary can start to lag behind that of their peers. By reading to them you continue the appropriate vocabulary development.

Good luck. There is so much to learn out there. Sounds like the first step is to find out just what you are dealing with and at what severity.

 

[gr8leg8]

Our DD8 has slight difficulty with pronouncing unusual words. A funny story... our DD8 was trying to say "dyslexia" a couple months ago and she couldn't quite get it out correctly. She asked, "Why do they call it that when the people that have it can't even say it?"

I love this!!

One of my favorite jokes is

Dyslexics Untie!
(misspelling of Unite)

I don't have blond moments,
I have dyslexic moments.

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences.

 

[princessmom29]

I am an adult that was an undiagnosed dyslexic child, b/c my case wasn't typical. I alway was an excellent reader. but I couldn't spell to save my life. I was what some call a "memory reader" I was a good reader on the strength of memorizing words rather than sounding them out. That was the only was I got through spelling tests in school as well. If is wasn't a word I had commited to memory and was ready to spit out I couldn't usdually spell it. It didn't help that Iwas never taught phonics. I came into K reading from following along while my mom read to me, so I got skipped ahead in the reading program. No one picked up on the fact that it might be dyslexia until I was in high school. My AP European History teacher was dyslexic and she knew what was going on. i agree with the PP who said spell check is a good friend. i would not make it without it!

 

[Disneyforus]

At first the school treated me like a crazy parent - like I couldn't accept that my child was "average".

This is where I feel like I am at with our school. I hope I am wrong and we can get some help ASAP.

I emailed the school psychologist and my DD's classroom teacher on Sun night, the list of all the things we are concerned about, and ended it with we looked forward to meeting with her when the assessment was done, to make a plan for our daughter. I have not used the word dyslexia in any of my conversations yet...

I need to do some more research on the reading/spelling instruction method that is advised for dyslexic children. I want to be familiar with it, so depending on what they tell me I will know what to ask for.

I was at our pediatricians office today for another one of my kids, and picked his brain a little about dyslexia. He was very supportive and gave me a brochure about children's rights and 504 plans and IEP plans...so at least I am clearer on that.

I have really appreciated all the stories and hearing everyone's journey...it is inspiring to see that people do overcome this in their own individual ways. All of you can know, that your experience and willingness to share your story has helped our family immensely.