Teens

[MrsIncredible1974]

Feel quite bad posting this but tbh, our 13 yo DD is an absolute nightmare at present and the thought of spending 14 days anywhere with her is filling me with dread.

On our last visit the children spent an evening in a kids club (the Peter Pan one at Poly) but apparently she is far too old for this on our upcoming trip.

There is no way on earth I would leave her alone for an evening in resort.

Do I have any options???

 

[robinb]

I feel your pain. My DD was a handful at 13 (and still is 4 years later). I had always heard people say that 3 and 13 were a lot alike and they were right!

The Disney Youth Education Series (YES) might be an option for her if classes are offered at the right time:
https://www.disneyyouth.com/our-pro...-enrollment/#categories-individual-enrollment

It would give you a break from her and she could be with other kids and have fun learning things.

FWIW, I did leave my DD alone at the resort when she was 13 a couple of times. We fed her dinner and we trusted her enough not to leave the room and wander. She was perfectly happy to watch TV and play on her iPad.

 

[MrsIncredible1974]

Thank you so much, looks interesting and, something that she would actually enjoy
Definitely going to look into this.

 

[katie111]

I have a 13 & 14 year olds so I feel your pain. My DD was almost 13 on our last trip & she was a total pain. Whatever the family wanted to do, she wanted to do the opposite. Hated getting up early in the morning, hated going out to eat etc. Not sure where you are staying but we had 5 people in one room at the Beach Club & it was awful. We realized that when we travel now we need more space. My DD enjoys down time & alone time and you can't get that in a hotel room. We are going in April & staying at Bonnet Creek in a 2 bedroom. She'll still have to share a room with her brothers but at least she can go into the bedrooms & get some alone time occasionally. What I found that worked on our last trip was just separating myself from her occasionally. I'd skip a ride just to get a break or we'd go to the pool so the kids could swim & I could relax away from her for a bit. Sometimes I would leave the room & just sit in the lobby for a bit just to have some separation. Sometimes DH would take the boys to something & I would do something else with DD or vice versa. We all needed breaks from her on that trip. Anything you can do to have a little break from each other can be helpful. Good luck.....I know most people on the Dis seem to have "perfect" kids but traveling with teens can be rough!

 

[100AcreWood]

I'll ditto the above. Having a 3 bedroom condo is a big deal for us. We need space at the end of the day. Also, we divide and conquer as well making sure everyone gets a break from each other.

 

[Baklava]

You can hire an in room babysitter. I'd leave a 13 year old alone in general, but I also understand that they can get very... "special" and things aren't always so black and white.

 

[KathleenBynum]

Hii all! I'm new to the forum and reading threads and all of them are interesting. All the members give good suggestions. Would agree with @Baklava. I can understand your pain. So as Baklava said hiring an in room baby sitter is a good option.

 

[dreiwhit]

I had always heard people say that 3 and 13 were a lot alike and they were right!

Its the same as 3 and 14 too!

What we do on Disney trips with my 14 year old is to put the expectations up front that he will stay with the family and do what we do and get up early to make it to RD, etc., etc. If he doesn't want to do that, he can stay with his grandparents while we go to WDW! That has worked for him.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I have a 13 year old daughter and a 15 year old son so I know exactly how you feel. I wouldn't hesitate to leave the 13 year alone as my daughter has been staying home alone for several years.

 

[tigger51276]

My oldest was 12 almost 13 on our last trip and omg she pi$$ed me off a good 3 days in a row so after being a PITA all day I finally left her in the room by herself around 6 or 7pm and took my 8 year old to one of the parks for a few hours. I told her that if she left the room she was done. She had everything she needed in the room, we are dvc and stay in a one bedroom (no way I can handle being in a studio with both my kids for 2 weeks lol) so we were completely stocked with groceries and such. I told her I'd be checking up on her by calling the room and if she didn't pick up the phone there would be trouble. It worked pretty well until just about 10pm when my little one and I were waiting for a bus back to the hotel and even while on the bus because I was having trouble getting the hotel to connect me to the room. When I got back to the room she was there like she was supposed to and she behaved better the rest of the trip (or within reason anyway). However I had an odd message from the lobby left on the room phone. Went down in the afternoon to see what was what and was told we had exceeded our room limit for charges and needed to take care of it. I was floored to say the least since I literally only charged small things like a popcorn refill or an ice cream to the room....probably a total of $30, however it was suspicious that while at the park the night before I had been denied for a charge to the room I was trying to do (it was a $2 popcorn refill). Apparently while I was out with my youngest my daughter started calling anyone and everyone from the room phone! She spent her evening talking to all her friends and trying to prank my cell phone a few times.....Was not happy! Most of the calls were under a minute because no one answered yet it was still like a $5 charge. The person at the desk was not interested in helping in any way. Thankfully I talked to a manager the next day as they had asked how our stay was going and she wiped the charges right off which was a blessing. In her defense I know she had no clue and it's not something I ever would have thought of because who actually uses a room phone to make actual phone calls these days. It is definitely not something she will do again.

 

[MrsIncredible1974]

Really appreciate all your responses, and the reassurance that it isn't just us!
She's not really a bad kid, she's not smoking, drinking or too into boys and we love her to pieces but she can be real hard work at times when the attitude strikes and we're so similar we really do rub each other the wrong way...

We've managed to snag an upgrade from CBR standard to POR preferred due to the refurb work which I'm hoping will help with some moments of separation to allow time and space. We've said that she'll be ok to wander down to refill her mug or grab breakfast if she's awake before us (some hope ) or back to the room to chill if we're in the resort watching YeeHa Bob in the evening.

On finding out yesterday that we had moved resorts to her favourite, she was absolutely lovely and spent the whole day planning with me and has even started to think about her packing.

 

[sandyplayer]

My oldest was 12 almost 13 on our last trip and omg she pi$$ed me off a good 3 days in a row so after being a PITA all day I finally left her in the room by herself around 6 or 7pm and took my 8 year old to one of the parks for a few hours. I told her that if she left the room she was done. She had everything she needed in the room, we are dvc and stay in a one bedroom (no way I can handle being in a studio with both my kids for 2 weeks lol) so we were completely stocked with groceries and such. I told her I'd be checking up on her by calling the room and if she didn't pick up the phone there would be trouble. It worked pretty well until just about 10pm when my little one and I were waiting for a bus back to the hotel and even while on the bus because I was having trouble getting the hotel to connect me to the room. When I got back to the room she was there like she was supposed to and she behaved better the rest of the trip (or within reason anyway). However I had an odd message from the lobby left on the room phone. Went down in the afternoon to see what was what and was told we had exceeded our room limit for charges and needed to take care of it. I was floored to say the least since I literally only charged small things like a popcorn refill or an ice cream to the room....probably a total of $30, however it was suspicious that while at the park the night before I had been denied for a charge to the room I was trying to do (it was a $2 popcorn refill). Apparently while I was out with my youngest my daughter started calling anyone and everyone from the room phone! She spent her evening talking to all her friends and trying to prank my cell phone a few times.....Was not happy! Most of the calls were under a minute because no one answered yet it was still like a $5 charge. The person at the desk was not interested in helping in any way. Thankfully I talked to a manager the next day as they had asked how our stay was going and she wiped the charges right off which was a blessing. In her defense I know she had no clue and it's not something I ever would have thought of because who actually uses a room phone to make actual phone calls these days. It is definitely not something she will do again.

I am cracking up. I know that it was probably tough for you to deal with, but sometimes I need to be able to see that others are dealing with the same nonsense! I love my 13 yr old daughter but sometimes.....dear Lord help me. To make it worse, my 15 yr old never really went through a tough stage.

 

[Monykalyn]

I have a 13 & 14 year olds so I feel your pain. My DD was almost 13 on our last trip & she was a total pain. Whatever the family wanted to do, she wanted to do the opposite. Hated getting up early in the morning, hated going out to eat etc. Not sure where you are staying but we had 5 people in one room at the Beach Club & it was awful. We realized that when we travel now we need more space. My DD enjoys down time & alone time and you can't get that in a hotel room. We are going in April & staying at Bonnet Creek in a 2 bedroom. She'll still have to share a room with her brothers but at least she can go into the bedrooms & get some alone time occasionally. What I found that worked on our last trip was just separating myself from her occasionally. I'd skip a ride just to get a break or we'd go to the pool so the kids could swim & I could relax away from her for a bit. Sometimes I would leave the room & just sit in the lobby for a bit just to have some separation. Sometimes DH would take the boys to something & I would do something else with DD or vice versa. We all needed breaks from her on that trip. Anything you can do to have a little break from each other can be helpful. Good luck.....I know most people on the Dis seem to have "perfect" kids but traveling with teens can be rough!

THIS was us in 2015-although my kids are more spread out in age! We stayed onsite only 6 days before moving to offsite 2 bed condo - a day longer and I think we'd have all gone nuts! Although onsite WAS good for when we wanted to split up-DH &DS often went back to room to swim-sometimes rest of us went with, sometimes not. And often the older kid would go off on her own (to France to get her favorite pastry/sandwich). The middle was 12 1/2 at time of that trip. Part of the problem was we went for Star Wars Weekends and she just wasn't into that as much as rest of us were, although she did enjoy the dessert party! However that trip we also did Universal for 3 days and she LOVES Harry Potter-remarkably different attitude (and smiles) at Universal!
We did leave her in room to sleep/nap as needed. Teens need their sleep!
Not wanting to be "homeless" on day that condo was check in I actually paid for an extra day at BC-that "switching" day middle and DH went to condo to check in-she went to sleep (in all fairness-the girls and I were at MK until 2 am for EMH) while the rest of us hung at Stormalong Bay for the day. BEST $ spent all trip to not have to "do" something waiting for room/condo!

One advantage of Beach Club was France was very close (Grand Marnier Slushies!!)

 

[happymommy]

We left our kids at the hotel room when they were much younger. They did the kids club once, and DS was maybe 9. He was way too old - they are geared toward younger kids (actually I think he was just shy of 9).

They were fine for a few hours in the room when they were like 10 and 8. We got them dinner and they knew how to behave (we travel a lot).

We were at the BWI and just went to Epcot for dinner. They would rather hang out in the room anyway that night!

At 13, she should be fine to be more on her own. My nephew at that age took the bus from AKL to meet up with a classmate at a park and spent the evening with him and took the bus back.

 

[Nancyg56]

Feel quite bad posting this but tbh, our 13 yo DD is an absolute nightmare at present and the thought of spending 14 days anywhere with her is filling me with dread.

On our last visit the children spent an evening in a kids club (the Peter Pan one at Poly) but apparently she is far too old for this on our upcoming trip.

There is no way on earth I would leave her alone for an evening in resort.

Do I have any options???

Is there a reason she cannot stay in a resort room by herself? We would leave my DGD is she wanted, but there would be expectations. She knows her mother well enough to know that the consequences of breaking trust would be devastating for her.

I think I would provide a choice: You stay in the room, door locked while we are out, or you sit in the room with a babysitter. Either way, since you are not able to keep your behavior under control the entire time we are vacationing, you will be spending time in that room. You get one chance to prove you are mature enough to handle a few hours unsupervised. Make a good choice because not many teens need a babysitter, and you do not want to be one of those kids.

 

[happymommy]

Keep in mind, she's legally old enough to babysit (in Maryland a 13 year old may babysit a sibling). So, I'd put my foot down. If she is being rude, she can stay in the room alone. Way too old to need a babysitter, when you're old enough to babysit yourself.

 

[MrsIncredible1974]

Is there a reason she cannot stay in a resort room by herself? We would leave my DGD is she wanted, but there would be expectations. She knows her mother well enough to know that the consequences of breaking trust would be devastating for her.

I think I would provide a choice: You stay in the room, door locked while we are out, or you sit in the room with a babysitter. Either way, since you are not able to keep your behavior under control the entire time we are vacationing, you will be spending time in that room. You get one chance to prove you are mature enough to handle a few hours unsupervised. Make a good choice because not many teens need a babysitter, and you do not want to be one of those kids.

There's no reason we couldn't leave her, just not something we've really done before in a place she's not familiar with. I guess that after a couple of days she'll be familiar enough with the resort to enough with her surroundings to be left for a while. She's not irresponsible (most of the time...) and we'll all need a little space and privacy!

 

[robinb]

There's no reason we couldn't leave her, just not something we've really done before in a place she's not familiar with. I guess that after a couple of days she'll be familiar enough with the resort to enough with her surroundings to be left for a while. She's not irresponsible (most of the time...) and we'll all need a little space and privacy!

It's a hotel room with a TV and a door that locks. How much familiarity does she need? Like I said upthread, we left our DD alone in the hotel room at that age.