Teens wearing pants at their knees..

[luvsJack]

I was really surprised by your response. Though I don't think your boys look terrible per-say. I do volunteer work with youth and know for a fact that many young women find this style to be very offensive. I'm glad its becoming less popular but I don't think that takes away from it being inappropriate and if children don't learn what is appropriate attire from their parents who are they supposed to learn it from? I think there are many many ways to allow children to express themselves even through their clothing that need not be offensive to others. Honestly the picture I saw doesn't show their pants as low as I see the kids wearing them here in the city and sadly its not just the kids you see many grown men wearing them and I find it very tasteless. Not fashionable at all.

The fact of it being tasteless or fashionable is in your opinion. In the opinion of CR's boys and many other kids across the country, it is fashionable. For the youth YOU work with, maybe the young women don't like it; but that is not the way it is here.

Every generation has had something that was "tasteless" and "offensive to others" and every generation had a way of finding their own fashion and their own style. And most usually grow out of it. I mean, how many 60 year old hippies do you know? Or 50 year olds wearing mini skirts? Or 70 year olds with duck tails and Elvis side burns? Or even 30 year olds that wear all black and shave their heads?

My kids came up through the sagging pants, Goth style, wide leg jeans (we are talking 40" legs holes in jeans--try walking in THAT! ), tats (both have at least one and both keep them pretty well covered most of the time) and piercings. They both now wear clothes that fit, other colors besides black, and younger ds wears one small earring and older ds always wears a cap. Very respectable and look like nice young men should.

The part about picking battles? Let me tell you my experience, I thought dh would bust a blood vessel when younger ds came home with an ear pierced. So they argued, ds was grounded. Went to school, came back with BOTH ears pierced. They argued, more grounding. Went to school, came back and had two holes in one ear. So dh was down to either locking him in his room forever, not letting him go back to school or having a discussion. They had a long reasonable talk. Ds presented his case very well and they agreed on one ear, one piercing. DS didn't wear another earring until he got out of high school. All he wanted was to know he had that small amount of freedom to express himself. Once the freedom was there, it wasn't a big deal. If dh would have sat down and talked to him instead of fighting with him, there would have never been an issue in the first place. So, from that point on we learned to pick our battles. And to really think hard about what things we wanted to make non-negotiable. Clothing and hair styles were two things that just didn't make sense to battle over.

Kids have expressed themselves through clothing since the beginning of clothing (and now piercings). As long as mom and dad aren't dressing in the latest teen fads, they will learn what is appropriate by observation which is how kids learn anyway.

 

[CathrynRose]

I was really surprised by your response. Though I don't think your boys look terrible per-say. I do volunteer work with youth and know for a fact that many young women find this style to be very offensive. I'm glad its becoming less popular but I don't think that takes away from it being inappropriate and if children don't learn what is appropriate attire from their parents who are they supposed to learn it from? I think there are many many ways to allow children to express themselves even through their clothing that need not be offensive to others. Honestly the picture I saw doesn't show their pants as low as I see the kids wearing them here in the city and sadly its not just the kids you see many grown men wearing them and I find it very tasteless. Not fashionable at all.

Well, I guess you just have to trust me - they're low. And I don't care. And what exactly is 'inappropriate' about it???

Their father has a big fit about it - and all it does is cause tension between them. He constantly bribes them with “Abercrombie & Fitch Shopping Spree’s” if they’d get rid of their clothes. Guess what? They don’t want to look like the Abercrombie & Fitch kids. So, they never take him up on his ridiculous offer(s). To me, this attitude of “Well, it’s a gangsta’ look…” is shallow. Really shallow. Like I said – I have bigger fish to fry with teenage boys.

My children – everyone’s children – are individuals. Let them find themselves, and express themselves. Who is it hurting? It’s not even hurting them, because - contrary to this thread, they haven’t tripped and have had girlfriends.

ETA – When one of my son’s friends and classmates from 10 years old – who was absolutely a clean cut, All-American “Abercrombie & Fitch Kid” died of a Heroin overdose when he was 16 years old, it only solidifies for me that this is a ‘non issue’.

 

[snapppyd]

And this really operates at two levels: First, the obvious, i.e., that you can't be in constant battle with your children, since doing so just leads to them becoming inured to whatever sanctioning you attempt. However, there is a second level, that probably pertains to this situation as well: Sometimes a battle shouldn't be fought because it insulates children from making their own mistakes and learning from them.

(And if you're concerned that they wouldn't see it, even eventually, as a mistake, then perhaps it isn't, and instead is just an expression of creativity that you personally don't find attractive. Should we really be building children who are reflections only of our own personal aesthetics? I think not.)

Do you have children, and is this the way you speak to them?

 

[bicker]

What? The way I think of how I should address Nathan's conduct and how I actually talk to him about his conduct would not have any relation to each other. At least not until children are young adults.

 

[snapppyd]

I was just looking for a yes or no.

 

[luvsJack]

I was just looking for a yes or no.

I don't think he has it in him to say simply yes or no.

Just kidding, Bicker.

 

[bicker]

I don't think the world is ready to accept a one-word bicker.

Let's try it out and see:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=36793677#post36793677

 

[luvsJack]

I don't think the world is ready to accept a one-word bicker.

Let's try it out and see:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=36793677#post36793677

Nope, I think it would send us all into a complete tail spin!

Besides, I look forward to you injecting quiet intelligence into the conversation.

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

I am a teenage girl and I believe this style is stupid. In school, I see their boxers. I DON'T want to be seeing that. I mean, why can't they just wear their pants up to their hips or waist? I don't care which one! I just don't want to be seeing your booty. Skinny jeans too, they are too tight, imho.
Belts were invented for a reason.

Memories also occur in gym class where we had to run without dressing one day and this guy was holding his pants up the entire way. Another boy had his pants fall down and he tripped. It was funny, and no, he was not hurt.

 

[CathrynRose]

Belts were invented for a reason.

.

Generally belts are worn with this look. They’re just holding the pants at the wrong place.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Generally belts are worn with this look. They’re just holding the pants at the wrong place.

I am quite suprised that they didn't "discover" suspenders for that look.

it would make more sense as they could "set" any amount of droopiness and not have to hold them up with their hands.

 

[CathrynRose]

I am quite suprised that they didn't "discover" suspenders for that look.

it would make more sense as they could "set" any amount of droopiness and not have to hold them up with their hands.

Neither of them hold them up with their hands.

Like I said - I know it's weird, but I simply don't care. I have bigger issues to worry about with teenage boys.

 

[pixiefairy]

Heh...I have a teenaged boy. I am WELL aware of this look. The funny thing is - he wears tighter jeans, but he's such a string bean, even with a belt, I see boxers hanging out of the top. He will walk around the house and let his pants fall down to his knees just to annoy me...and then I threaten to staple gun them into place. I watch the high schoolers come out of school at the end of the day and see varying degrees of the crotch-at-knees-itis. I also get to see teenage girls wearing what I think may be denim underwear. Kind of hoping for a return to Little House on the Prairie wear for when my dd is in high school, lol.

 

[FayeW]

***Sigh***

So, now my boys are looking for action, gang-member wanna-be's and slick enough to layer so they can be on the move from the po-po, quicker.

It's a look. Just a look.

I had my head shaved, wore all black clothes and red lipstick in high school. What was the origin of my look? I'm dying to know.

Poor taste and bad judgement?

 

[CathrynRose]

Poor taste and bad judgement?

Have a nice weekend!

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Neither of them hold them up with their hands.

Like I said - I know it's weird, but I simply don't care. I have bigger issues to worry about with teenage boys.

Hmm, wasn't really adddressing your kids in particular.

 

[Magic Mom]

Everytime I see this style, which is rare anymore, I try hard to stifle laughing out loud. Do these boys not know that people are laughing and will never take them seriously? Most boys barely have a rear-end to hold up their pants even when worn properly! Recently I spotted the especially exaggerated version where almost the whole buttocks barely clad in boxers is visible--That had me rolling Please parents...tell your kids how comical they look---or someone else might.

I agree. It is a ridiculous look, especially they way it makes them walk with their legs spread apart to keep the pants from falling all the way down. Dh's uncle is a cop and he loves that look because a suspect with his pants at his knees can't run.

 

[Buckalew11]

I'm lucky to have 3 nephews who've never adopted this look.

I hate to see boys wearing it and start running and then do that little "gallop" thing and have to hold their pants up as they run. (However, I'd glad they DO hold them up!! lol)

 

[Aisling]

The fact of it being tasteless or fashionable is in your opinion. In the opinion of CR's boys and many other kids across the country, it is fashionable.

Every generation has had something that was "tasteless" and "offensive to others" and every generation had a way of finding their own fashion and their own style.

I totally agree.

 

[SaraJayne]

My son isn't old enough to wear this style, but I would allow it. I hate it, but I would allow it. I would also let him color his hair or have almost any style. I would hate it, but.... it isn't a tatoo or piercing.... He can change clothes and hair grows, tats and some piercings are forever.

I draw the line at underwear. If I can see your boxers/underwear, either change your clothes or pull up your pants.

It looks ridiculous and the kids just look stupid that wear it. They look like gangster wanna-be's and thugs.