Teens alone at home

[tasha99]

I think it depends on the teen's maturity and the reason they're being left. I had to leave my 16 year old for 6 weeks because my mom needed hospice care. It wasn't ideal, but what can you do? My daughter (22 at the time) came to stay with him after a few days, so he was alone for a few nights, not weeks, but a sister isn't the same kind of supervision as a much older adult.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Before 18 I would make arrangements for my kid to stay with someone else, like the family in the area or a friends family. After 18 I'd wait until they were back at school if at all possible. Best case, so many things could go wrong in an instant, worst case there is a party and either a reputation is destroyed in community or police get involved, or both.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

I would be okay with my 15.5 and 13 year old staying alone a night or two. They're responsible and we have close neighbors and family that could look in if needed. I was in that age range the first times I was alone for a night or two. I would not feel comfortable being more than a few hours drive away at this age. I don't think I would feel okay being out of the country for another few years.

 

[DLgal]

What are the laws in your area? Start there. If something happens, will you be arrested for child endangerment? If not, use your judgment.

 

[disykat]

We stayed home alone for a night or two when we were teens - probably 17,15, and 14. Having multiple kids who will tattle on each other helps. Our uncle would pop in and we knew the neighbors. It was no big deal. That said, when my parents took a trip to Europe when my sister and I were 15 and 16 and my 18-year-old brother was home for the summer from college, our grandparents came to "visit" for the entire time they were gone. Like others have said, it's one thing to be a few hours away, another to be out of range.

 

[mjkacmom]

What are the laws in your area? Start there. If something happens, will you be arrested for child endangerment? If not, use your judgment.

Only a handful of states have laws regarding underaged kids home alone, with Illinois being the most restrictive not allowing those under 14 home alone (my sister lives there, it’s pretty much ignored, most babysitters start at 13/14).

 

[sam_gordon]

As each kid/family/situation is different, it's hard to do a fixed age.

We've done one night away (in the next town over, ~30-45 minutes away) when the kids were 14-16.

An extended stay, out of state/country, kids would need to:
A) Have transportation. In our area, that means they have their DL (at 16.5) and some more experience behind the wheel. But, we don't live in an area with public transportation.
B) Be responsible/trustworthy. Presumably parents have instilled that in them already and have already been in situations where they could showcase that.
C) Understand some basic home facts (where to turn off water/electric).
D) Have somewhere (friends/family) they can contact and/or go to if they do have issues (see A above).

We would also notify neighbors that we're out and to just "keep an eye" on the place... basically what parents (at least mine did) before wifi cameras.

When you put all of that together for us, it would come down to kids being 17. At that point, they're a year (or two) from potentially being out on their own (probably in college). And B & D is really not much different than being in a dorm.

What works for one family doesn't necessarily work for others.

 

[ronandannette]

It would be Canada to USA but not just over the border.

The main thing we did when we went that far away, until DS was 18, was to make sure somebody very close-at-hand had a signed authorization to make emergency medical decisions.

 

[tzolkin]

We left the country for two weeks when our kids were 12 and 14. I would not have counted that as "home alone" because our oldest (19 at the time) stayed with them. But, since most people have been saying "over 18" to leave overnight without another adult it likely would count for this discussion.

We felt comfortable with the trip because the younger two were responsible enough to be completely alone, so the older one wasn't really supervising them. She was just there for the ability to drive and to have a legal adult in case of emergencies.

We have left teens home alone for a night or two several times since then with no issues.

The kids' personalities definitely would impact my decision. Mine are all fairly independent/self-reliant and they also get along well so I never worried about them having conflict while we were away. There are some teens that I absolutely would not feel comfortable leaving unsupervised. As a kid, I was responsible enough to be left home alone, but my siblings and I fought like animals so it was never a pleasant experience to be left home together.

The main thing we did when we went that far away, until DS was 18, was to make sure somebody very close-at-hand had a signed authorization to make emergency medical decisions.

We did this as well. I also notified the school that we would be out of the country and that older sister would be acting as their guardian while we were away in case they needed any permission slips signed or had any problems at school.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

At what age would you leave a teen at home alone for a few days?
Family is in city if need be,
Would you leave the country? As in not driving distance away.

30 sounds about right. Yeah. 30 is old enough.

 

[CdnCarrie]

The main thing we did when we went that far away, until DS was 18, was to make sure somebody very close-at-hand had a signed authorization to make emergency medical decisions.

I would give family a copy of the MB medical card. did you write something out or was there an actual form for authorization.

 

[DLgal]

Only a handful of states have laws regarding underaged kids home alone, with Illinois being the most restrictive not allowing those under 14 home alone (my sister lives there, it’s pretty much ignored, most babysitters start at 13/14).

OP is in Canada. They may have different laws.

And leaving a child alone overnight for consecutive nights is different than just leaving them home alone for a few hours.

It's never a problem until something bad happens to the child and authorities become involved. Then they will question why the child was alone for consecutive days.

 

[DLgal]

I would give family a copy of the MB medical card. did you write something out or was there an actual form for authorization.

In the US, most Healthcare systems require an authorization letter that says a specific person is authorized to make medical decisions amd seek medical care for the child in your absence.

 

[lovesmurfs]

It’s funny that we let kids babysit at age 12 and that involves taking care of at least one additional person. It’s not the same as overnight, but 12 seems awfully young.

Red Cross offers (or offered?) certification for babysitters starting at age 11. I had both of my kids take it just so they'd be prepared (and to help in the event we weren't home and something happened).

 

[sam_gordon]

In the US, most Healthcare systems require an authorization letter that says a specific person is authorized to make medical decisions amd seek medical care for the child in your absence.

I've read (on the internet so it must be true) that emergent situations wouldn't require such a letter, that medical personnel will take care of those. Non-emergent situations, even WITH such a letter, medical personnel will still try to contact parents before treatment.

That being said, we've arranged for those letters with minors travelling with us. DD (17) just got back from a week long out of state trip with a friend's family. No letter was asked for or provided. The group went to get piercings and DD decided to get 2nd holes in both ears. We don't know if a parent signature was required or not. She let us know via text before they did it.

 

[Karin1984]

You said there is family nearby, I'd say 16. But depending on the child.

 

[aprilgail]

For being away overnight even for just one night, 18 or older, and only if we also had trusted neighbors/friends or family nearby , who could help out in an emergency. Honestly, probably in our case, maybe a little older.

18??? my daughter was 17 and living away at college I would have certainly left her alone by then.

 

[tvguy]

18??? my daughter was 17 and living away at college I would have certainly left her alone by then.

I was thinking the same think. Close to half the incoming Freshman at Colleges would be only 17. And I knew a few at my University who had skipped a grade in school and were 16, living in the dorm away from home.

 

[DLgal]

I was thinking the same think. Close to half the incoming Freshman at Colleges would be only 17. And I knew a few at my University who had skipped a grade in school and were 16, living in the dorm away from home.

A dorm is not the same as a house. There is supervision at dorms, and the student is not responsible for the building. A college student in a dorm doesn't have to worry about a break in, house fire, electrical appliance malfunction, power outage, etc.

I went to college at 17. My parents didn't leave me HOME alone overnight until after freshman year of college and I had turned 18. The following year, as a sophomore, me and 2 others shared an apartment off campus. THAT is when I finally felt like I was living "independently." Dorms are a managed setting with adult oversight (RAs, campus staff).

 

[Disneylover99]

I was thinking the same think. Close to half the incoming Freshman at Colleges would be only 17. And I knew a few at my University who had skipped a grade in school and were 16, living in the dorm away from home.

I think living in a dorm with a bunch of people is completely different than being left alone in your family home while parents leave the country. Just like kids who go to Boarding Schools while parents travel. The kids are not alone.