Teens alone at home

[sam_gordon]

A dorm is not the same as a house. There is supervision at dorms, and the student is not responsible for the building. A college student in a dorm doesn't have to worry about a break in, house fire, electrical appliance malfunction, power outage, etc.

There aren't break ins at dorms? Fires? Power outages? Did they solve all of those since I went to college in the 80s and 90s?

 

[sam_gordon]

A dorm is not the same as a house. There is supervision at dorms, and the student is not responsible for the building. A college student in a dorm doesn't have to worry about a break in, house fire, electrical appliance malfunction, power outage, etc.

There aren't break ins at dorms? Fires? Power outages? Did they solve all of those since I went to college in the 80s and 90s?

 

[aprilgail]

A dorm is not the same as a house. There is supervision at dorms, and the student is not responsible for the building. A college student in a dorm doesn't have to worry about a break in, house fire, electrical appliance malfunction, power outage, etc.

I went to college at 17. My parents didn't leave me HOME alone overnight until after freshman year of college and I had turned 18. The following year, as a sophomore, me and 2 others shared an apartment off campus. THAT is when I finally felt like I was living "independently." Dorms are a managed setting with adult oversight (RAs, campus staff).

Perhaps in some dorms- at my daughters college buildings all around Boston were used as "dorms" and they were basically just apartments all over the place- I would not consider them supervised. They have freedom to have parties, overnight guests etc-

 

[Disneylover99]

There aren't break ins at dorms? Fires? Power outages? Did they solve all of those since I went to college in the 80s and 90s?

The teens are not alone. There are adults/supervisors they can report problems to.

 

[sam_gordon]

The teens are not alone. There are adults/supervisors they can report problems to.

I would be surprised if there were not friends or neighbors (if not family) nearby "home alone" teens could call for advice, if not go stay with if things really got bad.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think living in a dorm with a bunch of people is completely different than being left alone in your family home while parents leave the country. Just like kids who go to Boarding Schools while parents travel. The kids are not alone.

I don’t think boarding school is the same. At college, you have no curfew, you could leave campus for weeks at a time and unless you have friends who miss you, no one would know. I’d expect way more partying in a dorm than at home where neighbors can watch. Dorms do get robbed, I’m on several college parent Facebook pages. My daughter set her curtains on fire accidentally in her dorm with a candle. Sexual assault is much more likely in dorms with males and females living communally.

 

[Disneylover99]

Perhaps in some dorms- at my daughters college buildings all around Boston were used as "dorms" and they were basically just apartments all over the place- I would not consider them supervised. They have freedom to have parties, overnight guests etc-

My son was 17 when he went to College. He couldn’t get into a dorm due to Covid restrictions. He found a room to rent in a basement appt. near the College. There was another teen his age renting a separate room. The owner of the house lived upstairs. He had no restrictions. He lived independently, but if something went wrong, there were people living with him that could help.

To me, it’s just not the same thing as a teen staying by themselves in the family home while the parents travel to a different country. I’d feel more comfortable if they were 18. It has nothing to do with trust. It’s more about the legalities should something go wrong. But I’m a worrier and glass half empty kind of person. Lol.

 

[mjkacmom]

The teens are not alone. There are adults/supervisors they can report problems to.

Any issues after hours would be handled by campus police, just like problems at home can be dealt with calling 911. There aren’t supervisors in dorms, just RA’s who are just students getting free room and board.

 

[Disneylover99]

I don’t think boarding school is the same. At college, you have no curfew, you could leave campus for weeks at a time and unless you have friends who miss you, no one would know. I’d expect way more partying in a dorm than at home where neighbors can watch. Dorms do get robbed, I’m on several college parent Facebook pages. My daughter set her curtains on fire accidentally in her dorm with a candle. Sexual assault is much more likely in dorms with males and females living communally.

I’m definitely not saying Dorms are the safest places.

 

[Disneylover99]

I would be surprised if there were not friends or neighbors (if not family) nearby "home alone" teens could call for advice, if not go stay with if things really got bad.

Well this is where it differs for each family. Not everyone has close family/friends they can turn to, or people within close proximity they can count on.

 

[sam_gordon]

Well this is where it differs for each family. Not everyone has close family/friends they can turn to, or people within close proximity they can count on.

And the maturity level of the kids makes a huge difference also. It's definitely an individual decision, and, as mentioned by several posters here, can even vary inside the same family.

FWIW, you don't really even NEED people "in close proximity". You need someone they can call for advice.

 

[tvguy]

I think living in a dorm with a bunch of people is completely different than being left alone in your family home while parents leave the country. Just like kids who go to Boarding Schools while parents travel. The kids are not alone.

True. My University required you to live on campus your first two years. At other Universities, there is no such requirement so you do have 17 year olds.....and some 16 year olds.....living alone on their own for the first time.

 

[DLgal]

There aren't break ins at dorms? Fires? Power outages? Did they solve all of those since I went to college in the 80s and 90s?

I didn't say it doesn't happen. I said the student is not a responsible party in the event that it does. Unless the student literally sets a fire, and again, if that happens in a dorm, it's a LOT different than it happening to your own house.

 

[Disneylover99]

And the maturity level of the kids makes a huge difference also. It's definitely an individual decision, and, as mentioned by several posters here, can even vary inside the same family.

FWIW, you don't really even NEED people "in close proximity". You need someone they can call for advice.

They can call me for advice. I would personally want someone a short drive away who was available to assist in person If necessary.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

We left our 17-year old home for three nights, but he didn't actually sleep there. He had access to a car and would drive himself to school. He was in charge of feeding the rabbits, bringing in the mail, etc. He would walk down the street in the evenings to his friend's house, eat dinner with them and sleep there. Then he would walk home in the mornings, take his shower, get dressed and go to school. It worked out well. He was just a little hesitant to stay alone at night, so we worked it out with the neighbors. When they were gone for a few nights, their son did the same routine and slept at our house.