teenagers / car dates/ curfews....

[westjones]

I have twin 16 year old DDs. They both have boyfriends now. The boyfriends are both very nice boys, but older (one is 18 and one is 17). They both have their own cars. The 18 year old doesn't have a curfew (he is a freshman in college) and the 17 year old doesn't seem to have much of a curfew either (he is a senior in high school). So it all comes down to what I set for them.

So I am wondering....what rules do the rest of you set for your teenagers?

 

[Darcy03231]

I have three 18 y.o. girls (high school seniors) and one 16 y.o. boy (high school sophomore) living at home. My curfews are:

School night: 9:30 p.m. unless there is something special going on or they're working a closing shift. My theory here is this still gives them some time to do homework, get showers, and still get to bed at a fairly decent hour.

Weekends: 12:30 p.m. unless there is something special going on.

School vacations: 11:00 p.m. unless there is something special going on.

I can't sleep until everyone is in. I don't mind staying up later on weekends, but during the week I still have to get up for work even if they don't have to get up for school.

 

[ElizK]

I can't sleep until everyone is in. I don't mind staying up later on weekends, but during the week I still have to get up for work even if they don't have to get up for school.

I'm the same way.

DD17's weekday curfew is 9:30pm, and we take the weekend on a case by case basis. Usually, between 11pm-12am.

 

[dislal]

I have twin 16 year old DDs. They both have boyfriends now. The boyfriends are both very nice boys, but older (one is 18 and one is 17). They both have their own cars. The 18 year old doesn't have a curfew (he is a freshman in college) and the 17 year old doesn't seem to have much of a curfew either (he is a senior in high school). So it all comes down to what I set for them.

So I am wondering....what rules do the rest of you set for your teenagers?

I only have a DD15 and DD12 right now, but their curfew will be the same as mine was when I was dating. On weeknights the boys can come over here until 9:30 or 10 and on weekends they will have to be home by 11p.m. unless something special is going on. Oh and they have to be at least 16 to go out on a date. DD15 went to Homecoming this year, but we met her date at the school, so I dropped her off and picked her up.

 

[geffric]

I wrote a long reply but it puffed in thin air. so I will give the shorter version..

DS#2 is a jr and has a gf is a jr too and has a car.. state law is such that it says that she can't drive after curfew.. so i can handle that..

but then DS#1 ( a freshman in college) comes home and DS#2 gets him to drive him and his friends ( hs jrs) and he is over 18 so curfew does not apply.. mean parents step in.. we were up very late sunday night and mad when they got home... plus no one answered their phone... so now DS#2 must be home by curfew no matter who drives..

 

[clovergirl5]

I don't have dating age dc yet but I like what my mom did when I was dating. I started dating at 16. Future dh had his own car (1984 red camero--yeah baby!) and no curfew and was 18 yrs. old.
My mom would allow me to choose 3-4 days per week and we could go out until 10pm. She never really had to enforce curfews because we would go out for dinner and then back to my house where we had the whole family room in the basement to ourselves. We were at my house alot.

As a parent myself now, I think it was a good idea not being able to go out everyday (even though I wanted to) otherwise I think my grades would have suffered. I already spent to much time thinking about him, if I saw him everyday, whoa

Just to add, he was really the only serious boyfriend I had so I never was really into the dating scene. Been with him since I was 14.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I may be the most lenient of the replies you receive:

DD17 - 2am non-school nights, 11pm school nights
DS14 - 12am non-school nights, 9:30pm school nights


I have never had a problem with either of them, and while DS has had "girlfriends", DD tends to hang with a group of close friends, and has not had an exclusive boyfriend yet.

 

[clovergirl5]

I may be the most lenient of the replies you receive:

DD17 - 2am non-school nights, 11pm school nights
DS14 - 12am non-school nights, 9:30pm school nights


I have never had a problem with either of them, and while DS has had "girlfriends", DD tends to hang with a group of close friends, and has not had an exclusive boyfriend yet.

Bet you are the "cool" mom of all dc friends! Really, 2am! I would have loved that

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Bet you are the "cool" mom of all dc friends! Really, 2am! I would have loved that

Actually, we are stricter than most of their friends' parents. I insist on knowing where they are and phone calls with any changes/updates are a must. Most of their friends have curfews that are close to ours on non-school nights. I guess we are the cool parents on school nights, but my kids do homework right after school or school activities and if the curfew was earlier, they would have no time to spend on freetime at all during the week.

 

[westjones]

I may be the most lenient of the replies you receive:

DD17 - 2am non-school nights, 11pm school nights
DS14 - 12am non-school nights, 9:30pm school nights


I have never had a problem with either of them, and while DS has had "girlfriends", DD tends to hang with a group of close friends, and has not had an exclusive boyfriend yet.

I could never do the 2:00 am! I need to wait up for them, and I can't make it that late. Now I have no idea how I am going to survive prom since it looks like DD with the 17 year old boyfriend will probably go since her BF is a senior. I am already worried about that.

 

[aprilgail2]

I may be the most lenient of the replies you receive:

DD17 - 2am non-school nights, 11pm school nights
DS14 - 12am non-school nights, 9:30pm school nights


I have never had a problem with either of them, and while DS has had "girlfriends", DD tends to hang with a group of close friends, and has not had an exclusive boyfriend yet.

That sounds reasonable. When I was 17 I was in college so no curfew once I went to college! If I had something later planned from 14-16 I just said "I will be home at 1am" or whatever... "curfew" was basically just when to come home on nights we were just hanging someplace with no set plans...back then though the drinking age was 18 which meant by 16 you were getting into bars with fake ID-and it really wasn't even drinking so much-it was a local band we would follow that would play local bars and usually that would last until 2-3 am.

 

[sbell111]

I think that my first rule would be that my 16 year old daughter isn't allowed to date 18 year old college guys.

 

[westjones]

I think that my first rule would be that my 16 year old daughter isn't allowed to date 18 year old college guys.

Oh I know. And it wouldn't happen with any other boy. They met in high school last year and I said no to them dating for 9 months. He asked my permission, offered to let me come with them on their dates, arranged for me to meet his parents. Talked to me at length and said he was willing to do whatever he needed to to win my trust and would follow any rules I set.

He goes to a Christian college, and is very active in his church (even still goes to his youth group when he is in town, the college is about 30 minutes away).

So I understand how it doesn't sound good, but they are 2 years and 4 months apart in age, and we like him very much (and frankly, I know boys their own age who I would be much more afraid for them to be alone with than this boy).

 

[horseshowmom]

We never really had a set curfew for DD, but at 16 it would have been 11 p.m. if I had had to set one. Generally, she and her dates would go get something to eat and then come back to our house to watch a movie or hang out, so curfews were never an issue. She started dating the guy she recently married when she was 17 (she's 22 now), and he was 21. He was/is a competitive team roper so from time to time they were out quite late due to the distance involved driving to/from the competition, but we knew that ahead of time (and they generally had his adult roping partner with them who was a mutual friend ).

As far as the age difference, I don't see it as a problem. I never dated guys my own age (generally 3 to 5 years older). DD was pretty much the same. She dated the guy she married for 5 years (with some break up time in there). They were both very much into horses. Our families didn't know each other but had numerous mutual friends who vouched for the boy heartily. We never had even one issue (as I said earlier, they generally hung out at our house the majority of the time). I will add a disclaimer here that it would certainly depend on the boy (I've seen boys her own age that I wouldn't have let close to her ).

 

[cheermom1]

where I live there are set curfews by law and they have to be in before that time...but i have set their curfew at 12 on weekends ..during the week they usually don't go out and if they do they are to be home before dark unless something special is going on and it is case by case...strict I know but if I didn't dd would be all over the town by herself!!! I don't think so... I am very into you are NOT to be alone period...she hates that but all I can think someone can't kidnap 2 as well as one plus if something happened more thank likely another could call for help...

 

[Vixen]

i never had a curfew. mom always asked what time will you be home and i ofcourse had to give a reasonable time . she does the same with my brother and sister

 

[princess.chell]

Well I'm 18, no boyfriend for the parents to worry about, but I have my own car. My curfew is 10 on school nights, though I rarely go out on school nights and if I do its for a study group. On school weekends its normally midnight, though sometimes I can stretch to it 1 or even 2, if I'm really lucky. In the summer, well, we'll see this summer being 18 with no legal curfew in my area. I'm guessing its going to be 1 every night, unless I have work the next day in which case its midnight.

 

[eliza61]

I have twin 16 year old DDs. They both have boyfriends now. The boyfriends are both very nice boys, but older (one is 18 and one is 17). They both have their own cars. The 18 year old doesn't have a curfew (he is a freshman in college) and the 17 year old doesn't seem to have much of a curfew either (he is a senior in high school). So it all comes down to what I set for them.

So I am wondering....what rules do the rest of you set for your teenagers?

My kids were not allowed to date exclusively until their Jr. year in H.S. (17 for both).

both had a 10 pm curfew on school nights while in H.S.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

When I was 16 my curfews were as following:

School nights:
-10PM OR if a cross country/ski team/softball/lacrosse event was later it was 2 hours after the ending time (due to travel, esp. for ski because Mt. Hood is about an hour drive away). Also, if there was a study group during finals, I was able to stay out until that was over, usually around 2AM.

Non-School nights:
-Midnight unless there was an event i.e. weekend ski trip, dance or a birthday party.

Holidays:
-Same as non-school nights, every night

The hours were adjusted when I turned 17 and everything got an hour added to it. When I turned 18 I was already our of HS and since I was an adult and I didn't have a curfew.

 

[Micca]

No advice, but as the father of twin DDs(now grown)...