Teen bullying leads to a double suicide

[happygirl]

this story breaks my heart, those poor girls

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/42699893#42699893

 

[happygirl]

Here is the story in print

Two 14-year-old girls teamed up Saturday night in Lynd, Minnesota, both making a pact to hang themselves and going through with it, during a slumber party. Haylee Fentress and Paige Moravetz were found by Haylee’s mother early Saturday morning. Being a medical assistant she attempted to resuscitate them without success.

Haylee had reportedly been under fire by classmates for her weight and was also expelled from her Marshall Middle School for getting into a fight defending Paige.

The two girls became very close after Haylee’s family relocated to Minnesota from Indiana. School officials have made no comment thus far regarding the incident just trying to help other students deal with the tragedy.

Suicide notes were left by the two girls explaining that the suicides had been planned for quite a while. Two of their cousins appeared this morning on NBC’s Today Show saying that there possibly were signs that the girls were in distress based on posts left by the girls on Facebook and things that were said by them indicating that they might have felt confused about their relationship being more than just a friendship and dealing with Haylee’s parent’s recent divorce.

The cousins of the girls also read a statement released by Haylee’s mother and sister.

The girls’ suicide-pact and follow marks yet another tragic end at the hand of teen bullying.

To see the Today Show interview and report go here:

 

[Minnesota!]

A friend of mine, his daughter was friends with these girls. It is so so so sad. I cannot imagine how alone they must have felt to do something like this. Bullying HAS TO stop! And, we need to start teaching our kids 1) to not bully but 2) to not TAKE the bullying!!! Stand up for themselves. I just hate it hate it hate it!

I worry so much about how things will play out for my kids in school....

 

[happygirl]

A friend of mine, his daughter was friends with these girls. It is so so so sad. I cannot imagine how alone they must have felt to do something like this. Bullying HAS TO stop! And, we need to start teaching our kids 1) to not bully but 2) to not TAKE the bullying!!! Stand up for themselves. I just hate it hate it hate it!

I worry so much about how things will play out for my kids in school....

It's really really scary, I feel so bad that these girls thought this was there only way out.

 

[dhcoffey]

My DD12 has been the victim of bullying this school year. Middle school girls are mean! They come after her at school constantly, surrounding her, taunting her to fight until the teachers finally notice and stop it. They approached her around town trying to fight her. They've left threats on FB about fighting her. We've been to the school more times than we can count constantly on them to do something. Finally with the FB threat, we called the police and the girl is now on probation for simple assault. This seems to have finally gotten the attention of the other girls in that "pack" and they've been leaving her alone. It was a real fight for us to get somebody to listen to us about all this. The schools want to deny it's a problem.

Heather

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

My DD12 has been the victim of bullying this school year. Middle school girls are mean! They come after her at school constantly, surrounding her, taunting her to fight until the teachers finally notice and stop it. They approached her around town trying to fight her. They've left threats on FB about fighting her.

This is so sad. So very sad.

 

[Aneille]

A friend of mine, his daughter was friends with these girls. It is so so so sad. I cannot imagine how alone they must have felt to do something like this. Bullying HAS TO stop! And, we need to start teaching our kids 1) to not bully but 2) to not TAKE the bullying!!! Stand up for themselves. I just hate it hate it hate it!

I worry so much about how things will play out for my kids in school....

I bolded the part of your statement I wanted to address. The part in the news story that is quoted above that bothered me the most was that it stated that,

"Haylee had reportedly been under fire by classmates for her weight and was also expelled from her Marshall Middle School for getting into a fight defending Paige."

If this is true than I am so angry. This is why we can't have blanket policies concerning kids and bullying. Expelling kids is not always the right answer. What good does expelling a kid for defending themselves or a good friend (because they can't or wont) and then not getting to the bottom of the problem.

Haylee reportedly did stand up for herself and it didn't do much good. We can debate all day/night about whether getting in a fight is the right way to stand up for oneself but once the fight happened someone needs to figure out why and get help.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Very sad.
I can't believe the school expelled her. That's one of the problems though. The school expelled her but what about the kids who were teasing her? That is another issue we've taken kids ability to defend themselves away. There needs to be more kids like the one in Australia who just punched the kid and walked away. That bully won't be attacking anyone else ever again.

At the same time where did the pride and confidence go? How is it that so many kids think that killing themselves is the answer. Everyone is not going to like you. Why can't kids handle that?

There are mean people in the world. You can either wallow in it or enjoy your life with the people who enjoy you. People are always going to find something they don't like about you whether they say it to your face or behind your back.

This fabulous technology and these internet social sites are what the problem is. They are too connected to each other and information is too instant. Kids can't handle it.

 

[happygirl]

Very sad.
I can't believe the school expelled her. That's one of the problems though. The school expelled her but what about the kids who were teasing her? That is another issue we've taken kids ability to defend themselves away. There needs to be more kids like the one in Australia who just punched the kid and walked away. That bully won't be attacking anyone else ever again.

At the same time where did the pride and confidence go? How is it that so many kids think that killing themselves is the answer. Everyone is not going to like you. Why can't kids handle that?

There are mean people in the world. You can either wallow in it or enjoy your life with the people who enjoy you. People are always going to find something they don't like about you whether they say it to your face or behind your back.

I think it goes much much deeper then someone not liking you, It's about being made fun of everyday, teased daily, There is only so much that a person can take

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I think it goes much much deeper then someone not liking you, It's about being made fun of everyday, teased daily, There is only so much that a person can take

yes but the story once was: Kid is teased his/her whole life. Takes that and uses it becomes better goes back sees the loser bully hasn't grown into much. Best revenge ever. Now kids are just killing themselves. makes me wonder what the difference is now? Are we raising for the lack of a better term, whimps or is it because the social "playing field" is always "Live" because of Twitter, facebook and the like.

 

[Holly]

This is so sad.


Bullying is such a terrible and prevalent issue in our society.

 

[4nana]

So very sad and heartbreaking . Prayers said for family and friends, I can't imagine what they must going through.

 

[WDSearcher]

yes but the story once was: Kid is teased his/her whole life. Takes that and uses it becomes better goes back sees the loser bully hasn't grown into much. Best revenge ever. Now kids are just killing themselves. makes me wonder what the difference is now? Are we raising for the lack of a better term, whimps or is it because the social "playing field" is always "Live" because of Twitter, facebook and the like.

This.

With social media, smartphones, etc. kids have so many more ways to rally a gang who will band together to bully someone. You don't even have to be in the same state as the victim -- all you need is their e-mail address. When I was a kid, getting bullied meant a few people at school. Now, bullying goes viral.

With these two girls, though, you have to wonder if there isn't some naivete involved. I mean, when I was a kid, I'd hear other kids say things like, "Boy ... I bet they'd feel bad if I died!" or how they'd love to see how their family would react if something happened to them. I have to wonder if part of the thought is that "I'll kill myself -- that'll show them!", and thinking that after you die, you'll be able to watch all the people who bullied you go through their guilt, etc. I think that's part of what attracts people to that as a solution.

 

[Uncle Remus]

yes but the story once was: Kid is teased his/her whole life. Takes that and uses it becomes better goes back sees the loser bully hasn't grown into much. Best revenge ever. Now kids are just killing themselves. makes me wonder what the difference is now? Are we raising for the lack of a better term, whimps or is it because the social "playing field" is always "Live" because of Twitter, facebook and the like.

Group mentality is easier to garner 'n grow now with Twitter 'n Facebook 'n it doesn't require to victim to participate, can ya imagine what school mornin's are like walkin' down the hall after a night of everybody bashin ya on the internet?

 

[Mkrop]

yes but the story once was: Kid is teased his/her whole life. Takes that and uses it becomes better goes back sees the loser bully hasn't grown into much. Best revenge ever. Now kids are just killing themselves. makes me wonder what the difference is now? Are we raising for the lack of a better term, whimps or is it because the social "playing field" is always "Live" because of Twitter, facebook and the like.

And that still happens, but I think unfortunately there are many who did take their own lives when we were younger over stuff like this, we just didnt hear about it. The news media wasnt as widespread to hear about two girls all the way across the country, today we all know about it.

I just dont get why kids have to be mean to each other, I really dont. And I think we as parents need to take a good long look at ourselves that are kids are involved in this stuff. My kids know quite well that if I ever hear they were bullying (physically or verbally) another child, they can kiss all their things goodbye. I think too many parents get that phone call and then say not my little boy/girl.

 

[wvjules]

Very sad.
I can't believe the school expelled her. That's one of the problems though. The school expelled her but what about the kids who were teasing her? That is another issue we've taken kids ability to defend themselves away. There needs to be more kids like the one in Australia who just punched the kid and walked away. That bully won't be attacking anyone else ever again.

At the same time where did the pride and confidence go? How is it that so many kids think that killing themselves is the answer. Everyone is not going to like you. Why can't kids handle that? There are mean people in the world. You can either wallow in it or enjoy your life with the people who enjoy you. People are always going to find something they don't like about you whether they say it to your face or behind your back.

This fabulous technology and these internet social sites are what the problem is. They are too connected to each other and information is too instant. Kids can't handle it.

Do you really think its just that kids can't handle the fact that everyone doesn't like them?

 

[ols386]

Group mentality is easier to garner 'n grow now with Twitter 'n Facebook 'n it doesn't require to victim to participate, can ya imagine what school mornin's are like walkin' down the hall after a night of everybody bashin ya on the internet?

Has to be pretty tough. Would be hard even for mature adults to deal with this type of thing, let alone teens who are already vulnerabe and probably not emotionally equipped to handle it.

 

[2binak]

With social media, smartphones, etc. kids have so many more ways to rally a gang who will band together to bully someone. You don't even have to be in the same state as the victim -- all you need is their e-mail address. When I was a kid, getting bullied meant a few people at school. Now, bullying goes viral.

Dh and I were talking about this the other night. It used to be that if you were being teased in school, it stayed in school and it only lasted while you were in the presence of the bully. You could get a break from it once you left school. Now, the teasing can follow you 24/7 and it's in print so you can go back and look at it over and over and over again & people can forward it around. Unlike an argument that is over with and not talked about after a few days, these messages are there forever and for everyone to see.

My heart breaks for kids who go through this and feel that this is the best way out of the situation.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

I just came here to post about that.

I don't understand why public schools, in 20-freaking-11 don't have support systems for kids. My best friend in 9th grade and I could EASILY have been these girls, circa 1994.

 

[loganpaulsmom]

I was bullied when I was in the 5th Grade by girls and boys that I had gone to school with since I was in kindergarden. My parents took me out of public school and put me a catholic school.. I went down to a festival at my old grammar school and no less than 20 kids surrounded and pushed a bigger girl toward me telling her that I had been talking about her behind her back calling her a "slut".. First of all, in the 5th grade I didn't even know what that word meant.. These kids surrounded me in a huge circle and every time I tried to get out of it they would push me back into the middle of the circle.. I had to defend myself when the girl came at me swinging.. I punched her in the nose and took off running.. 5 girls chased me home all the while spitting on me as I ran..
I had groups of kids come to my house because they knew i was having a party or a sleepover and pretty much threaten me.. my mom would yell and tell them to get out of here or she would call the cops..
I didn't realize it then, but they were all jealous of me.. I never did anything wrong to warrant such horrible behavior and believe me it wasn't easy for me to get through it.. But, i was strong.. and was so afraid of dying I would have never harmed myself.. but, I can see how someone who isn't as strong wouldn't be able to get past what is happening to them and they would think that the only way is to kill themselves..
Girls are the worst.. they are jealous and petty and mean and hurtful and will make your life miserable.. I was one of the lucky ones..