Teen angst or drugs?

[Tigger&Belle]

Turns out, he was clean. The child was bipolar having his first manic episode. It took about a year to get things under control. He has never used drugs and now at 19 is doing pretty well. I don't regret my response. It was a reasonable assumption. I knew something was wrong, I just picked the wrong problem.

I'll have to say that I've wondered about this with my son, too. This scares me more than possible drug use, which I don't suspect right now. My son's moodiness sometimes makes me scared that there are mental problems that maybe I should be looking into, but then everything seems to turn around. But then I wonder if maybe that's all a part of it, too and I'm sticking my head in the sand. Hard to be a parent sometimes!!!

 

[drgnfly30]

to the OP: Welcome to my world!! My DS15 (soon to be 16) is driving me CRAZY.. He too sleeps all the time, eats me out of house & home, won't speak, shrugs his shoulders when I ask him questions, failing (when he's normally an honor roll student) etc...
I'm 99.9% sure it is in no way related to drugs; I suspect that he may be depressed... depression runs in our family... What to do?!?!

 

[Nevergrow'nup]

Sweet Angel--I decided to bring my son to the doctors. DS doesn't mind going to the Doctors. It was time for an asthma re-check anyway. His Doctor asked him pointblank about drugs. I have checked his room for signs, checking his money as well. I have told him with his asthma, if he smokes or does drugs he is cutting his life off. I warned him about the complications of mixing his meds with anything. Told him if he ever needed a "safe" excuse to use that to not "try." I am VERY confident that in his case it is not drugs. His doctor decided to run the blood work to rule out everything else.
I would rather run unneccessary blood tests and know he is okay than to wonder if anything is wrong. He was very sick about 5 years ago and we had an oncology consult for him. Fortunately was nothing serious, CMV- a form of mono. He had an enlarged spleen we had to have monitored for a while. Due to this episode, I do get concerned. I will let you know what happens.

 

[TheBellhop]

So you don't know what he is doing afterschool, eh? Well I have to say that the possibility is there. So don't discount it.

As far as before school....oh you are so naive mom. Alot can be done in 10 minutes. Don't say that.....

Of course if he is doing drugs the evidence will be in his room more than likely. Since you suspect it, I would do a search, without his knowledge, just to be safe. If you find nothing, no harm, no foul. Don't tell him you did it.
As a parent you are just trying to find out "why is my kid....????"
I don't blame you.

Oh HONESTLY. Why in the heck are most teens generalized into the "all they want is drugs, sex, and booze" mindset? Now in this case we're talking about drugs, right? But so many parents think that kids nowadays are much worse than the kids "back in the day". If you suspect it, then confront him about it if you feel like. Don't try to be sneaky and stuff...

Sorry. I'm just sick of everybody thinking us teens are drug addicts. And I know that's not what the case is with a few of the people here. I'm sure that my post will be overlooked as "teen angst" and "just another argumentative kid" so I wonder why I bother.

To the OP, I'm sorry if I sound defensive...it's just that what the 'symptoms' you posted sounded more like part of growing up than a druggie.

 

[TheBellhop]

I just wanted to say 2 things - First I'm with you on the grade thing. My DS13 has been grounded for entire marking periods at a time, but I never took away his activities (scouts, karate) because I knew that having him home every single second might well just kill ME! It's crazy - what else are we supposed to do? If you do nothing and let them fail...that seems like an appropriate punishment. But then you get the flack from the teachers ("bad mom, bad mom").

Second - I can't believe you are getting arguments about this here! People! This is not a point of debate - give us a frigging break. We are grown women trying to deal with maturing men. Talks about 2 worlds colliding! I feel like I'm doing psychoanalysis on a martian most of the time.

You're at a forum...do you not expect an argument?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You're at a forum...do you not expect an argument?

We're at a discussion forum, so we expect discussion. The last I check it wasn't called an argument forum, even though sometimes I do go back and check the title.

But I do appreciate the insight of a teen.

I'm 45yo and I used to when my mom would start the "when I was a teenager we didn't ______", as if they were perfect. I didn't buy it then and I try not to feed that bunk to my kids. We weren't perfect and I know that teens aren't now, either. But in general I think my kids are good kids, at least so far. And I have a good, open relationship with them and I hope to keep it that way.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You're really in a mood today, Mystery Machine! What gives?

Is it really necessary to attack the OP?

I honestly thought she was serious with her question?
When someone posts something very serious about their teen, I take it to heart that they have seen/heard/felt something to warrant the discussion.

And to BellHop, I know all teens are NOT drug users. I have one here who is a serious pain...

I was just addressing her concerns. Apparently I didn't get it where she was just "venting" or joking.

 

[sweet angel]

Oh HONESTLY. Why in the heck are most teens generalized into the "all they want is drugs, sex, and booze" mindset? Now in this case we're talking about drugs, right? But so many parents think that kids nowadays are much worse than the kids "back in the day". If you suspect it, then confront him about it if you feel like. Don't try to be sneaky and stuff...

Sorry. I'm just sick of everybody thinking us teens are drug addicts. And I know that's not what the case is with a few of the people here. I'm sure that my post will be overlooked as "teen angst" and "just another argumentative kid" so I wonder why I bother.

To the OP, I'm sorry if I sound defensive...it's just that what the 'symptoms' you posted sounded more like part of growing up than a druggie.

For the record (and I feel like I'm speaking to my son!), I DO NOT think all teens are into drugs, sex and booze. However, I do think that a good many MORE teens these days are than when I was a kid. I think a lot of that has to do with easier access, less supervision (in some cases, not all), and knowing that a lot will not get in trouble if caught. You can agree or disagree, it's just my opinion. I do think a lot of kids don't have the same relationship "we" had with "our" parents -- I'll just leave that there.

Again, I did state that I didn't really think my son was doing drugs, but better safe than sorry.

Honestly, I'm an only child, I didn't have many close cousins, and my friends and I weren't of the sleep all day variety, so I was never exposed to that. I didn't have anything to compare him to...you know? That's why I came here.

 

[sweet angel]

I honestly thought she was serious with her question?
When someone posts something very serious about their teen, I take it to heart that they have seen/heard/felt something to warrant the discussion.

And to BellHop, I know all teens are NOT drug users. I have one here who is a serious pain...

I was just addressing her concerns. Apparently I didn't get it where she was just "venting" or joking.

Okay, can I please set this straight once and for all, so no one gets jumped on?

Mystery Machine...I was not venting or joking, and I really don't think anyone thought I was. Drug use was a possible, albeit unlikely, scenario. I had no VALID reason to suspect it, just an unfamiliarity with the behaviors of a teenage boy. However, I was 99% certain it was not the correct scenario and it was just normal teenage stuff.

Also, as I mentioned above, as an only child, I was only really exposed to how I behaved and have nothing to compare my son to. I was also never a teenage boy....

Again, I'd like to thank everyone for their input.

He brought his first group of grades home 1-A, 3-B...waiting on 3 more. Looks like the punishment worked. I officially ungrounded him and hopefully, I'll be seeing a more pleasant kid!

 

[Snowysmom]

Congrats to your son on the good grades!

 

[sweet angel]

Thank you!