teachers- do you give thank you notes to students?

[lewdyan1]

It's actually very rare that I get Thank You's. I was especially disappointed when the Principal didn't send thank you's.

 

[lewdyan1]

Although I've always sent notes, I thought teacher gifts were kind of a "thank you" and that technically you don't have to send a thank you for a thank you gift.

I feel that is more for the year end...This time of year, it is a holiday gift!

 

[poohandwendy]

Why is it that we don't expect thank you notes from our family and friends, but we do from teachers, if we are gifting in the same spirit?

 

[bicker]

Familiarity breeds contempt, or casual relations warrant casual responses -- whichever you prefer. By contrast, teachers are supposed to be role models.

 

[poohandwendy]

LOL, and the true spirit of giving is supposed to be without obligation.

Like I said before, this is just not a huge issue with me. If my child receives a thank you, wonderful. If not, no biggie I am not insulted. I understand it is an insult in other peoples opinion, everyone sees things differently.

 

[Rex Rules]

Wow, what an interesting question.
I hadn't really thought of it, but we have always, every year given presents to DD's teachers. And only once did we ever get a thank you note.
I understand it is a time consuming thing but I was taught that you ALWAYS send a thank you note. And I always do. It is a priority for me. I always wrote thank you notes for items DD received, as well. When she was too young to write them herself I wrote them for her. As she got older and her reading and writing skills developed, I let her sign the note and then work up to writing the whole note. There are great pre written thank you notes for smaller children out there that they can just fill in the blanks and sign. Very cute. While a verbal thank you is nice, it never replaces the common courtesy of taking time to write a note to express gratitude.

I don't give with the intention of getting something back, I don't consider getting a thank you note as something in return. A thank you note is just a concrete way of acknowledging receipt of said gift.
Honestly with respect to DD's teachers, even though we don't get thank you notes it won't stop us from giving. I feel most teachers are not in it for the money, that they do it because they love teaching and kids and I try to be extra generous with them.

 

[soccerchick]

Do you all send thank you's for ALL gifts, including those "gesture" ones?

At the risk of getting flamed, I teach high school and I send TY cards (to students at their homes) for gifts such as ornaments, gift cards, etc. I also send cards for students/parents who sneak the gifts into my mailbox in the office rather than bring it to me and don't have the opportunity to thank in person right away. I generally don't send TY's for the little bags of fudge, pizelles (sp?) or cookies. I always acknowledge and thank the students profusely for thinking of me, etc. I might also send a quick e-mail thank you "I loved the fudge" type thing if I have their e-mail address.

I wouldn't expect to receive a written thank you for little gesture type gifts at all other than perhaps a verbal one when the gift is given.

For those of you who are disappointed with the teachers who don't thank, you can certainly show your displeasure by not buying any more treats/gifts/thank yous for this year's teachers.

 

[Rex Rules]

Do you all send thank you's for ALL gifts, including those "gesture" ones?

Yes, even for the small things.
I was just taught that if someone thought you deserved consideration in the form of a gift, no matter how small, that they deserved consideration in the form of a thank you note.
Sometimes I hear from people, after I have sent a thank you note for something - they'll say a thank you note wasn't necessary. I always say, it wasn't any trouble and to me it was necessary to let you know that I am thankful.

 

[poohandwendy]

Just in a few pages, we already have a few different people who have different ideas of when a thank you card is appropriate and different experiences with teachers. See, this is why it is no big deal to me and I do not get insulted if a teacher doesn't send one. She/He may just have a different opinion on what is and what is not customary. I just do not feel it is right for me to hold someone else to my standard of custom, especially when there are so many dfferent opinions on this. There does not seem to be a clear cut right or wrong with this that is not totally subjective.

I guess I just give the benefit of the doubt that they appreciated the gesture.

 

[lecach]

We gave my sons daycare teachers a pizza party (5 pizzas delivered, 3 2-liter sodas, festive plates and napkins) and other than 1 or 2 verbal thank you's there have been no thank you notes. Now I really didnt expect thank you notes - but I know that at least 15 teachers had pizza and for only a small handful to verbally thank me really burns me. Oh well. I didnt do it for the thanks.....I did it to bribe them to be extra nice to my child

 

[poohandwendy]

I did it to bribe them to be extra nice to my child

LOL, did it work?

 

[RUDisney]

Why is it that we don't expect thank you notes from our family and friends, but we do from teachers, if we are gifting in the same spirit?

I guess I expect TY's from outsiders because our family never forgets to send them. I'm with Rex Rules. It is an acknowlegement that the gift was received.

Now that I think of it, in our former school, all of the children who had birthday parties sent TY's, too. At this school, no one does. It makes me wonder if the only reason the kids did at the last school was because one family made their child do it so it became an expected action. I don't believe that it was a private vs. public school thing. I think its more of a mimicking thing.

As for not giving a gift to next year's teacher, that doesn't make sense. I have no past history with that teacher's post-gift response. Why should I punish next year's teacher for the "sins" of others.

 

[poohandwendy]

Now that I think of it, in our former school, all of the children who had birthday parties sent TY's, too. At this school, no one does. It makes me wonder if the only reason the kids did at the last school was because one family made their child do it so it became an expected action. I don't believe that it was a private vs. public school thing. I think its more of a mimicking thing.

I think it is a matter of people following the customs that their families adhere to. If mom doesn't expect it, the child is unlikely to do it. And again, some do it for some situations and not for others.

I guess I expect TY's from outsiders because our family never forgets to send them.

That would be no different than somene who doesn't do it because their family never did it. I guess everyone is different.

 

[RUDisney]

That would be no different than somene who doesn't do it because their family never did it. I guess everyone is different.

I definitely give you that one!

 

[mt2]

I am a preschool teacher and I always send thank you notes to my students for any gifts they give me.

Me too!!

 

[daisyduck123]

I'm a 1st grade teacher & still at work today....my class is at Art.

I received an awesome gift basket from my class today with $190.00 in gift certificates & another $100.00 worth of goodies (snowman candle/lamp, etc.).

Each child is going home with a thank you note whether they contributed or not. The room mother had all the kids sign the card. She is awesome!

 

[daisyduck123]

How do you know the teacher didn't give the kids notes and they're not just sitting in the bottom of your child's desk? Some kids, especially the older ones, aren't that great about bringing things home.

THIS IS SO TRUE!

I'm a teacher & my son goes to my school.
My good friend is his teacher down the hall from me.
Yesterday she thanked me for her gift & asked if I'd gotten her thank you note. I said, "Of course not.".....my son never brings anything to me and it only has to go from his classroom to mine, right down the hall.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Wow! This is one of my absolute BIGGEST peeves!

Last year I contributed to the "class" gift so the teachers would have a nice gift certificate instead of 30 little knick-knacks. Out of three teachers I got ONE thank you, which was a Xerox copied form letter. I have no way of knowing if my child's name was listed as a contributor to the group gift or not. In the Spring I bought gift cards for those same 3 teachers for Teacher Appreciation. Again, ONE teacher (the SAME one) acknowledged the gift - verbally. Nothing from the other two.

This year an envelope came home with DS asking for me to give money towards the teacher gift. I wrote a check and sent it back in the envelope, along with a note asking what I should bring for the class party. No reply from the Room Mom on what to bring, and she never cashed my check. DS swears he gave the envelope to his teacher, and I believe him. No idea if his name was included on the group gift, and since he has the same 2 teachers from last year who don't write notes I am SURE I won't get a note this time.

I am going to have to call the Room Mom and ask her if she got my check and WHY she has been holding on to it for 3 weeks! Great. I barely know this woman and her son was bullying my DS earlier this year. Precisely why I think this will be the LAST time I participate in the "group gift"!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

yep..im actually writing mine now!

 

[soccerchick]

As for not giving a gift to next year's teacher, that doesn't make sense. I have no past history with that teacher's post-gift response. Why should I punish next year's teacher for the "sins" of others.

That's not what I meant. I meant for those that also give end of year gifts to these same teachers may want to reconsider if this is such an issue.

I'd also give some of these people a break; they may not do their thank you's until AFTER Christmas. You may be bashing them prematurely.