Taking your husband's name

[SaraJayne]

My BIL took our family name along with his when he and my sister got married. They both have the same hyphenated name ~ as does their DD.

Since there is only one boy (and lots of girls! LOL) on my dad's side of the family, I do use my maiden name along with my married name (no hyphen) in everyday "life".

But my legal name is just my married name.

My maiden name is pronounced like an Irish name, but it's French. My married name is unmistakeably German.

I seriously considered keeping my name when we married and DH said it was up to me, but I wanted to have the same last name as my children, so I took his name.

 

[jen0610]

When we got married, I changed 3 letters in my last name, the 1st letter not being one of them. Always said that if monogrammed sweaters had stayed in style, I wouldn't have had to buy anything new, I was already set.

 

[Kitzka]

I forgot to mention good freind's of ours got married and the husband took the wife's name as his last name. She only had sisters and the name was going to die out. They had 3 kids. The oldest boy was given the father's original last name as his first and the other 2 kids have that name as their middle names.

I still joke around that DH should take my last name even though we have been married for 11 years...

Lara

 

[jen0610]

he-he....my parents wanted to give my oldest sister the middle name of Irene until they realized that her initials would have been PIG, so they chose a different middle name.

I know a couple - her name is Dani and his is Dan - sounds wierd!

One of my best friends from our Army days was part of a Donny and Donni couple. Even though they are no longer married, she is and always will be Donni-girl to me. I started calling her that and it has just stuck.

 

[NotUrsula]

I went from one long often mispronounced and misspelled German name to a shorter, often mispronounced and misspelled German name. I can't win!! I was once told it's a "cool" name. LOL.

I would have gone from a long and constantly mispronounced Irish name to a short and constantly mispronounced German name, so I figured that as I'd still have to spell and pronounce, I may as well stick with the one that I'd been spelling for 28 years already. (Add to that that the German name is rather ugly-sounding even when correctly pronounced.) Also, my brother never had any children, and I miss my Dad, so I decided that I would hang onto his name for as long as I could.

DH has been gently ribbing me about it for 20 years now, but I really couldn't give a flying flip; it's my name and I'm keeping it.

 

[Rora]

No matter how terrible the last name, I'd take it.

DH's last name is pretty normal and sounded okay with my first name-- not the greatest combination but nothing could've stopped me from becoming Mrs. _______.

 

[NHdisneylover]

It was a wake up call. Other than my personal distaste for changing my name, I never really thought anything of it. But then I got comments from people about how we weren't "really" married if I didn't change my name. (Whatever the heck that means!) Or about how we wouldn't be as close. (Because intimacy is based on names?)

But the comments DH has gotten, from both men and women, have been shocking. He has been called less of a man, stupid, and many unflattering terms that mean he is under my control. I am shocked there are people who believe this in our day and age! But it lead me to believe that in any case where someone would look down on or think less of a man for changing his name, it's a power issue at play. If he is "less of a man" for taking my name, it's pretty simple to take that to the conclusion that I would be less as well for taking his name. If we were truly equal then the wouldn't matter who, if anyone, changed their name.

It is really just pathetic that so many people would make such comments v I wonder how people handle it when gay men and women get married in states where that is legal? Who has "priority" then The only couples I know have either kept their own names or both gone to the name that matched a child. I don't remember any drama over it though.

 

[robinb]

FWIW, I have had ZERO problems having a different last name than my DD's. Not a single one.

 

[Pigeon]

FWIW, I have had ZERO problems having a different last name than my DD's. Not a single one.

Me, either. I've been married almost 30 years, and it was pretty uncommon then for a woman to keep her name. The little old ladies who worked at the town hall issuing marriage licenses were outraged. They told me that I would be in trouble with the IRS, would never get right with Social Security, etc.

As for the kids, a few of the dinosaurs at their school call me Mrs. Hislastname on occasion, but it doesn't particularly bother me, and is no big deal at all. I've never had any real proble at all.

 

[Family Fun Mom]

I think taking your husband's name is more empowering that not. Your birth name is likely a man's name; your father's. You didn't get to choose who your dad is, you didn't get to choose your birth name. However, you do choose your husband and you choose to take his name. That's just another way of looking at it. I like it

I'm old fashioned, though. While I loved my maiden name, I also love the tradition of sharing a name with the man I chose to share my life with. I love sharing that name with our children. I love that "oneness." We are the O(great big Polish last name)ski family. Wouldn't have it any other way

Changing my name in no way changed my identity. I'm still me, just with a different last name.