Taking your DD's boyfriend on a trip "?"

[PolyAddict]

If your DD was 16 the summer before Junior year of HS and she wanted to bring her boyfriend of one year on vacation, would you?

Let me say that we have known this boy and his family for a while now and if they are still a couple by next summer she has asked if he could come along.

I met my DH at 15 and I know that we took some family trips together, however, when I mentioned this idea to my co-worker she acted as though I was CRAZY for actually considering it.

She is not a Disney freak like my family and we love to share our experiences with others so I thought I would ask others like us what they thought.

Thanks

 

[neffernie]

As long as you don't let them have their own hotel room , I think it would be ok.

 

[PolyAddict]

As long as you don't let them have their own hotel room , I think it would be ok.

I mean I wonder if that's what my co-worker is thinking? who knows?

 

[mla1977]

When I was 17 my mom took my boyfriend with us on a week long beach trip. We also went to Disney that year, but he didn't go on that trip (don't recall it even being an option though). I wouldn't see it as problem, especially if they don't have their own room.

 

[JT4Ever4Ever4Ever]

Depends, if you bring him, expect the 2 of them to be doing their own thing at the parks, so if you're looking for that family bonding time, you probably don't want to.

 

[LittlePurplePumpkin]

I am going to say I would not but this is just my opinion. My mom used to let me take friends and boyfriends on vacation with us. Looking back now, I feel like I missed out on all that family bonding stuff. Again, this is just my point of view.

 

[PolyAddict]

Depends, if you bring him, expect the 2 of them to be doing their own thing at the parks, so if you're looking for that family bonding time, you probably don't want to.

well, this may be without my oldest DD because she is graduating HS and she not too big on WDW every year anymore. We are used to our 2 teen DD's having some time to themselves and the rest with us, so some time in the parks alone would be ok with us.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I definetely would NOT allow my DD to bring her boyfriend. Not even with seperate rooms. Now if DD's boyfriend's family was going the same time as us, I would allow her to spend some time with him. By the way my DD is the same age and grade as your daughter.

 

[asmit4]

I agree with the lack of family bonding time. She will view this as a vacation WITH her BF, and not a family trip. I find this to be the case with bringing friends too (even same gender friends).

I don't see the issue but realize what kind of trip it will be, and what it won't be.

 

[d1gitman]

my opinion would be whether or not your friendship with the boyfriend and his family is worth the risk. the hope is that the trip would be a fairytale for all, but sometimes reality sets in and things can go awry. do you want to take that chance with A) your family's precious vaca time B) with the friendship you have with the BF and his family.

not saying anything will go wrong, but one never knows...it's a gamble.

on the other hand, DD is likely to be upset before, during and after the trip if you say no. to me that would be the safest route as not getting what you want is sometimes the harsh reality of growing up and maturing.

eitherway, good luck on this one.

 

[nosy parker]

First, I think that's very generous of you!

Second, friends of ours have also brought their DS's longtime BF on trips with them (since they were about 16, I think). I always thought that was so nice. They didn't share a room, however. It was just a nice way to include him in with their family as they do with any occasions at home. I see nothing wrong with it. I mean really, it's not like you paid to send them on a trip alone together. Set up the rules beforehand and be clear on ALL points.

But then, of course, the sleeping arrangements are up to you.

I, personally wouldn't let them share a room - No Way, but I don't know how your family deals with this issue. I've seen a lot of DR. Phil shows!

 

[jimmalru80]

I am going to say I would not but this is just my opinion.

I'd have to agree. I'm far too "old school" about things like that. That does not mean that my opinion is right or wrong for every circumstance like this, but it would not be right for me. Best of luck with your decision and enjoy your trip.

 

[asmit4]

well, this may be without my oldest DD because she is graduating HS and she not too big on WDW every year anymore. We are used to our 2 teen DD's having some time to themselves and the rest with us, so some time in the parks alone would be ok with us.

At her age- in all honesty, I'd say 'mom, we will be back in 3 hours for lunch' and we'd head back to the hotel room! Now, your daughter may be different, but let me tell you...my mom thought and STILL thinks I was 'different'. EVERY mother does it seems.

I was 17 when I joined 'the club', and at 20, my mom would have bet her life that I was waiting til I was married....it broke her heart when she realized at 22, that I was PROBABLY or could POSSIBLY be sleeping with my BF of 3 years....to this day she still has no clue what my past actually was like and I'm 28 and married now.

I'd set some ground rules about this as lots of kids will try and work some 'alone' time in. A 'magical' surprise 9 months from now would not be good!

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Well, they're bound to have some time alone, and you don't want to come home with one of those little souvenirs....

I know, that can happen anywhere, just trying to be funny.

I would not allow my ds to go on the family trip with his gf's family, because I wouldn't be comfortable, but that's just me. When I was in high school a friend's family took her bf to Switzerland with them, so I guess everyone is different.

 

[GrumpyBa*D]

I would take him. They could do the same thing home if they really wanted to a probably owuld have a lot more time unaccounted for at home... I say set some ground rules and yes there will be family time even if it is breakfasts and dinners.

Good luck with your decision

 

[PolyAddict]

For those who have said for sure no, is there an age you would consider it or not even as adults? I know kids will be kids and I would have ground rules set. I have also gave her no indication that it's even a possibility, she is aware that if her oldest sister doesn't go, that she can bring a friend. We have let her do that before and still feel as though we have plenty of family time with her friend there.

 

[m_kasch]

I didn't even start being a disney-aholic until I went with my DBF (now DH) and his family. I don't really think it took away from their family time, if anything I got closer to my DMIL/DSIL, because we spent the time leading up to the trip planning for it! I always shared a room with my DSIL, but we all had connecting rooms most of the time anyways (my DH was in with his parents).

I may have been different than most, but I NEVER would have thought of doing any "seedy" behaviors while I was on a trip with his family. They were kind enough to bring me with them, and I would have never disrespected them and their trust like that.

I think it's fine, as long as you set the rules and make sure they both know them. Have fun, whatever you decide!!

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I would consider it when they were legal adults (or in college). Of course, I would expect him to pay for some things if he was coming along -- depending on their relationship and ours with him, I probably wouldn't fund a totally free trip.

 

[PolyAddict]

I would consider it when they were legal adults (or in college). Of course, I would expect him to pay for some things if he was coming along -- depending on their relationship and ours with him, I probably wouldn't fund a totally free trip.

I was going to ask him to pay for his ticket, I have done this for DD's friend that came along one year. I took care of everything else.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Were you going to pay for a separate room for him? Is it a room you would pay for anyway because you need two?