Taking outside food into a restaurant - your opinion?

[NHMom4]

That is weird. I don't think I have ever seen that. I have brought snacks and things like that for when my kids were babies. If the kids are starving we will just hurry up and order the kids food and then take forever to our ours. Huh. And obvioulsy if there is a food allergy that makes perfect sense. Is it a regional thing?

 

[ZPT1022]

OP- I answered other. We've definitely brought in jarred baby foods when our kids were in the 6-18 month age range, and we've also brought toddler nibbles in. I figure that a restaurant would much rather my little one have a few cheerios to occupy themselves while we wait than to hear a meltdown.

I've also brought things for me for my allergies.

I do draw the line at bringing stuff from another restaurant though, it just seems tacky.

My DMIL has a very specific diet due to allergies. Not all restaurants can or will accommodate. She has taken food from home into a restaurant when we go out as a group. We always check ahead of schedule of course and we have never had a restaurant forbid it. Especially those that won't accommodate her diet.

That's my personal situation as well. I am allergic to gluten, tree nuts and strawberries, and can't tolerate meat or raw veggies. Some places are just too difficult to manage with those restrictions.

If I'm eating out with just my immediate family (DH and kids) we only go somewhere we know can accommodate my needs, but other times it's an event or a large group and I can't make everyone change for my needs.

We've had two situations recently- one was a 90th birthday party for DH's grandmother. I did call the kitchen ahead of time but they were way too clueless about just the gluten allergy for me to feel safe ordering something there- so I went and just sat there while everyone else ate. It sucks having to do that and it invites so much BS from other people ("You're pregnant, you have to eat!", "Why don't you just take the stuffed chicken and peel the breading off", etc..) - but I am the one who has to deal with getting sick/having an allergic reaction if things don't go right.


In another situation we were going out with a large group of friends. It's really not fair for me to ask 15 other people who want to go to a nice local place to change it up for me. So, since it was an Italian restaurant, I called, spoke with the manager and got the okay to bring my own rice pasta cooked at home, in a tupperware and they just brought me sauce (which I paid the price of the full dinner for a side of sauce, no salad, rolls or anything else )

Get your coat and hat on because that is just the begininning of the snowflake blizzard. I think it is wrong and lazy of the parents. Simply say NO! If we are going out to dinner- yes, even for sushi- my kids eat off the menu. They will also have to try the new food. Of course if they don't like it they don't have to eat a plate of it but they do have to try it. There is always something on a menu that they like. It's not like restaurants serve live animals that you have to beat and kill for dinner with a side of brussel sprouts. The Mom and Dad you talk about are lazy parents who will indulge snowflake no matter what because they simply either can't be bothered to parent and teach their kids something or they think their child is a snowflake.
YMMV.

Like I said above, I've made accommodations for my allergies, but when it comes to my kids we are very much like you. There is always SOMETHING that they will eat- and I have two really picky kids. We always find one or two things they will eat, even if it means an assortment of appetizers and side dishes.

We've also left the two picky ones at home and taken the adventurous eater out with just DH and I- they enjoy staying with Grandma and we enjoy not being limited by them. I think that it's helped them to realize that they are missing out though when the other one comes in gushing about what a great time she had- especially for the older one who has to listen to "the baby" getting to do something she doesn't.

Yes if it's for allergies. My youngest is allergic to eggs and unfortunately we are finding that people don't get this allergy. Peanuts and gluten then seem to get. Eggs, no. They think it's OK if there is no egg but it was cooked in a vessel that cooked other egg. or they simply don't know.

Nah, they are bad with the gluten too. I've had Italian places that told me they would cook rice pasta if I brought it. When pressed further, they were going to cook it in the same water they cook the regular pasta in I've also been told to peel breading off chicken and then it would be gluten free (um.....no). You get the point, it's just not worth the risk if you don't feel 100% comfortable that the person really appreciates what they are dealing with.

I think a follow-up poll of 'who makes more than one meal for dinner at home' might be in order. I'm guessing that the ones who will let their child choose when going out would also let them choose the dinner menu at home.

I've had someone bring PB&J for their child to our house for dinner. Even though different than a restaurant - I thought even that was strange! I have kids too and had some 'kid friendly' stuff. But apparently all their son would eat at that time was PB&J. I guess if you let him have it every time...that WOULD be the only thing he might want...

LOL, I often make more than one meal- one regular foods for those who can and one that accommodates my allergies. No reason why everyone else should have to give up their favorites because of me. They've also all had takeout pizza from a wonderful local place while I have something safe at home. DH suggested at one point making the whole house gluten free but I cannot justify the added expense- for example, I can buy a nice loaf of bread for $2, or heck, a really nice loaf from Great Harvest bakery for $3, but a tiny loaf of GF bread is $7!!!

We've brought stuff for our kids places too- maybe your friends thought they were making things easier on you by not imposing?? I know I did that for myself this year for Christmas Eve and Christmas- I figured when people are hosting a large gathering the last thing they needed was the extra stress of figuring out my special diet on top of everything else. In my case it's nice because then I am also assured that my foods are safe and prepared in a safe environment. I know that's not the issue with a pb&J for a kid but I imagine the parents felt they were imposing if they asked.

 

[jodifla]

I think a follow-up poll of 'who makes more than one meal for dinner at home' might be in order. I'm guessing that the ones who will let their child choose when going out would also let them choose the dinner menu at home.

I've had someone bring PB&J for their child to our house for dinner. Even though different than a restaurant - I thought even that was strange! I have kids too and had some 'kid friendly' stuff. But apparently all their son would eat at that time was PB&J. I guess if you let him have it every time...that WOULD be the only thing he might want...

I always bring food when we go to other people's houses, so I know my son will have things to eat and the host won't have to provide it.

My son, 8, is not an adventurous eater at this point. He likes kids' menu items....chicken, hot dogs, hamburgers, tacos, grilled cheese, pizza, spaghetti, etc.

And yes, he does get a separate meal from us most nights, because he is in bed before my husband and I get to sit down to eat.

People can think what they like about it....I'm not about to make my kid go hungry to try and prove a point or appease the "Oh my God, what a snowflake" crowd. He has enough issues to deal with without making eating hard work, too.

 

[hsmamato2]

a pp mentioned,and I will reiterate....allergies are NOT EASY to acommodate in many cases- for instance, a vacation where you have to eat out a lot,nmaybe with other parties- etc. In my long experience with this- I know one thing, most places are unfamiliar with the actual ingredients of their foods. I can't even count the number of times I've asked "are those fries coated with anything,or are they plain fresh potatoes?"
b/c the difference from one to the other is anaphylactic shock for my kid....and let me tell you all,we've made the mistake of believing the server too many times,and paid a heavy price on ds's part. (EMT's called to a restaurant is NOT fun,I promise)
OR, the alternative, a complete rundown with the chef for ingredient checks,which slows everything WAY down,and gets people annoyed...etc.
the one exception is Disney of course,which is why we were hooked from when ds was a baby......when you ask there, they have instant menus and ingredient lists.
so I vote "other" still......
....that being said...my kids,even allergy kid are expected to eat the food presented to them,even if it's just a polite bite when at another persons home. Mine too. The only exception is serious allergy,not entitlement

 

[jodifla]

a pp mentioned,and I will reiterate....allergies are NOT EASY to acommodate in many cases- for instance, a vacation where you have to eat out a lot,nmaybe with other parties- etc. In my long experience with this- I know one thing, most places are unfamiliar with the actual ingredients of their foods. I can't even count the number of times I've asked "are those fries coated with anything,or are they plain fresh potatoes?"
b/c the difference from one to the other is anaphylactic shock for my kid....and let me tell you all,we've made the mistake of believing the server too many times,and paid a heavy price on ds's part. (EMT's called to a restaurant is NOT fun,I promise)
OR, the alternative, a complete rundown with the chef for ingredient checks,which slows everything WAY down,and gets people annoyed...etc.
the one exception is Disney of course,which is why we were hooked from when ds was a baby......when you ask there, they have instant menus and ingredient lists.
so I vote "other" still......
....that being said...my kids,even allergy kid are expected to eat the food presented to them,even if it's just a polite bite when at another persons home. Mine too. The only exception is serious allergy,not entitlement

Exactly. It's so easy to be glib if you aren't dealing with issues like this. And allergies can turn kids into picky, defensive eaters, too, I've found.

My son is allergic to eggs and shellfish. Eggs he can tolerate as an ingredient, so that one is pretty easy to avoid for us.

But when we go on vacation in Cape Cod, we often end up bringing "safe" food to places where they fry EVERYTHING in the same oil, so literally nothing is safe to eat. We are up front and tell the owners about it, and they'd much rather have us there running up a $50-$100 tab than have us not be there.

And I always offer to buy a kids meal too...or pay for one without getting the food, even if I've brought in my son's food.

 

[disneygal2007]

My husband and I have done it. When we lived in Louisiana there a awesome Thai place we ate at. The kids didn't like it so we would stop at BK or Taco bell to get them food. This was a family owned place and the their little boy who sat in there all day would love to see my kids coming so he could play with them. He didn't speak much English. We would at times bring him what they called American food. He loved it so that was us justifying bringing outside food in.

 

[shaylahc1]

I think it's fine. I have 4 children and it is difficult to find a restaurant that everyone enjoys (besides Chick Fil A or McDonalds). There have been times DH & I have wanted a certain meal at a restaurant (usually a mom and pop type place, or someplace like McAlisters where you order and eat---not an upscale joint) when we have brought along a couple of Happy Meals for the kids. In fact DH & I love Five Guys burgers and our children do not....so we will go to McAlister's (right next door to Five Guys) and order food for the kids, then bring our hamburgers down and we all eat together.

Think of it this way---I am sure the restaurant would much rather have *some* of my money, than none at all. If I was forbidden from bringing outside food in to a restaurant, and my children didn't like that particular restaurant's menu, then my only other option would be simply not to eat there.

So I say yep---as long as it isn't a fancy pants restaurant then I don't see what the big deal is.

 

[BfloChick]

I'd see it as a breach of etiquette, with some limited exceptions which include (but are not limited to):

1) An allergy issue, when the restaurant cannot accommodate the issue;

2) Another disability-related issue (ex. a child with Aspergers or other condition where particular accommodations must be made);

3) Pureed or soft snack food for a baby or younger toddler;

4) Pre-meal snack food in limited quantities to keep young kids quiet.

Also, true confession time, I did once bring in Korean food to a Greek place, when my co-workers were all eating Greek food, I happened to get Korean and they invited me to join them. It felt weird, though. This was also more of a food-court type situation, although the seats did "belong" to the Greek restaurant. Had I run into my coworkers sooner, I'd have just ordered from the Greek place to not feel so strange about it.

So I guess I will put myself in the "Other" category.

 

[mjkacmom]

Exactly. It's so easy to be glib if you aren't dealing with issues like this. And allergies can turn kids into picky, defensive eaters, too, I've found.

My son is allergic to eggs and shellfish. Eggs he can tolerate as an ingredient, so that one is pretty easy to avoid for us.

But when we go on vacation in Cape Cod, we often end up bringing "safe" food to places where they fry EVERYTHING in the same oil, so literally nothing is safe to eat. We are up front and tell the owners about it, and they'd much rather have us there running up a $50-$100 tab than have us not be there.

And I always offer to buy a kids meal too...or pay for one without getting the food, even if I've brought in my son's food.

In the case of a food allergy, I see nothing wrong with bringing food - from home, not the competition. My nephew is 5, and is severely allergic to eggs, peanuts, dairy, and wheat (as in, can't touch a cracker). They've never been to a restaurant yet. However, I'd see no problem bringing him in with a wheat free waffle. They have 3 kids, and I told them they would enjoy a WDW vacation! However, since the kids are 3, 5, and 6, and have never eaten in a restaurant, my sister is afraid of how they would behave!