Taking along extended family - need advice

[Piglet]

I posted this on another board on the DIS but haven't got any responses. I need some advice and suggestions on my DH and I staying sane and enjoy our upcoming trip to WDW.

It will be DD almost 7, DH, myself, my Mom and Step Dad. It is my DM's and DSD's first trip. They used to travel quite a bit, but my DSD can only walk very short distances and is now in a wheel chair and on oxygen 24/7 so it is difficult for them to travel without our help. I have visited the disabilities board and we have all the medical stuff covered and know it is going to take extra time to get around.

We decided to invite them along because it will probably be the last chance my DSD will be able to go health wise. My DM really needed something to look forward to and some enjoyment. All she does is work and take care of DSD. It has been really tough for her. They really enjoy spending time with my DD and spoiling her.

I love my Mom, but she is very "interested" in everything our family does. She always needs to know where we are going, calls me 5 times a day for nothing important and is stuck to us like glue anywhere we go together. Anytime we go anywhere, when we come back there is a message from her to call when we get home. Then I have to endure the 20 questions about everything. She totally depends on me for support when my DSD is having problems.

I just need some advice about how to be able to spend some time with just my DD and DH without hurting her feelings. I want them to enjoy the trip, but I also can not be made to feel guilty about wanting to spend time with my DD and DH. They will not go off by themselves anywhere, so if we need to go off without them they will probably stay at our resort (AS Music).

Any suggestions?? How can I prepare for this? I really want everyone to enjoy themselves and I don't want to be on edge and blow up and really hurt her.

Melinda

 

[onecoolmama]

It sounds like your mom needs a friend. Not you, but a friend that she can talk to and consult , someone outside the family. When you want the time just your family..are you talking about dinner or a day in the park? It is tough not to feel guilty..I live half my life feeling guilty about taking time to spend with my Dh and my kids. I think it was Christmas 2 years ago when I realized that if other people's feelings get hurt..it is not my fault (most of the time LOL!) You need to say to your mom that you think that it would be better for your DSD to take a day (or evening or however much time you want) and relax. Disney can be extremely overwhelming and it is good to take breaks now and then especially in his condition. Just tell them that it is in their intrest to take breaks and nto try to over do it. So you will plan a day for the to be able to rela and enjoy the resort and you and Dh and DD will have the day to yourselves.

Enjoy it!!

 

[suemac]

When we went down 5 years ago, we went with extended family. We knew we wanted "alone time" though. So, we set our schedule and then shared it with the others. Noting the night alone with DH and the half day we had planned as a family. I thought we would get some heat for it but they all seemed happy to explore in their own way also.
I am sure all will go well.....just remember you will only have one family (thank goodness! )

 

[susy]

Sounds like your mom is scared and overwhelmed. Right after college, I lost my boyfriend and I stuck to my mom and her DH like glue (I was also living with them). Reading your post, I can almost imagine her feelings. I think you will get time alone with DH and DD just because of the fact that your DSD may not be up to being on the move 24/7. We have an upcoming trip with both sets of grandparents. Dh and I decided to go with the flow and make everyone happy. We tend to be commandos and the grandparents are not . It won't be our last trip, so it won't kill us. Try to relax and think about the fun you will have. Go with the attitude that you will enjoy whatever it is you are doing and not waste one minute worrying about what you don't do. This is as much a reminder to myself to do the same!