Take the kids, or not take the kids

[BensWife]

DH and I are planning a trip to DL next year to celebrate our 10th anniversary (September). We had originally planned on going back to where we honeymooned (Atlantis - Bahamas), but since then we have become real DL freaks. I've always been one, but after taking DH to DL a few years ago, he's been hooked. This is our anniversary trip, so we were thinking about going just us, but part of me has a hard time thinking of going without them. We did just go to WDW this past summer, so our 2 boys did have a very nice vacation then. If we do end up bringing the kids, that will make the cost go up significantly with extra plane tickets, admission, food, etc. DH and I have gone to DL just us a few years ago, and when we went we had fun, but I was kinda like "Oh, the boys would have loved that" and kept thinking about how much fun they were missing out on. Of course, when we went without the kids, they were smaller and less aware of Disney. Now, after going to WDW this summer, I know they would want to go (they will be 5 and 7 when we plan to go). DH still thinks it would be best just the 2 of us since we are celebrating our 10th anniversary and there are times when it sure is nice not to have the kids with us (no tantrums, no skipping "scary" rides, no naps, not having to worry about how tall we are, taking multiple potty breaks, etc). Oh, I'm so torn. What will they think when we tell them they can't come? If my parents did that to me when I was that age I would have been upset. However, does it really matter where we go if we are celebrating an anniversary? We wouldn't take the kids if we were going to Las Vegas. Oh, I don't know what to do!! If we do decide to take the kids, then our saving for the trip will have to be increased to afford it so we need to decide soon. What are your thoughts?

 

[beamer5]

I don't know about others but I could never do Disney without my son.

 

[dcraythorn]

I have left my child home! My DH and I had a wonderful time celebrating us!

 

[Sandan77]

We decided to do a trip with out the kids and told them and they were ok about it. But then I started feeling bad and well now they are coming too. We have booked in at PPH and plan on using Pinocchios workshop child minding one night so we can hit the park for a few hrs by ourselves.

 

[AbbyMarie]

Hmm...I will probably be in the minority here, but I think you should go ahead and do your anniversary trip at DL without your kids. I think it is so important to take time to do things alone with your spouse after you have children - and if you love going to DL, then that's where you should go! You obviously love your kids, and you will miss them no matter where you go, but they will be fine - you said yourself that you took them to WDW this past summer! Sooner than you think they will be grown up, and if you and your DH haven't kept your relationship a priority, you will be looking at each other wondering "who are you"? I hope you guys go and have a wonderful time!

 

[cmpeter]

I would not take my kids on my 10th anniversary trip, no matter where we went for the trip.

 

[teacherlisa1978]

I agree. It's your 10 year anniversary. Go and have fun together, no kids. Maybe it would help ease the sting a little if you know when your next trip as a family will be so you can focus on that. "This trip is just for grown ups but the next one will be for all of us. Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[Escape2Disney]

I know it feels weird to go without the kids, but AbbyMarie is right - it's important to take times with just the two of you. With kids that age, it is all about the way you tell them. Are you planning a family trip to Disney again in the future? Maybe you can just tell them that 10 years of marriage is a special thing, and that you and their daddy need to spend some time together to celebrate at Disney. Then you can point out that you're planning to take them at ___ point in the future. If you tell them without guilt in your voice, it'll go over better!

Another point: by taking the time to focus on each other, you are modeling a very healthy relationship pattern. By doing these things, they will learn that a marriage is as important as the kids.

 

[Cubicleprisoner]

I agree with AbbyMarie and cmpeter. Your kids will get over it. Congratulations on ten years!

 

[taaren]

DH & I trips without the kid! Its really relaxing being able to go on all the big kid rides without worrying about height or fear issues, and just enjoying each other's company.

Go for the romantic anniversary alone!

The trick is to make sure that the kids are having the best possible time whatever they are doing without you ... if grandparents/uncles/aunts/friends are taking them, let them spoil them with a fun treat! DS doesn't mind too much being left behind since he gets to be spoiled rotten by going to my in-laws when Mom and Dad travel alone (eg. he gets to pick what's for dinner/where to eat out, pick the day's activity, etc, etc).

 

[Happy 2 B Me]

Just keep the trip planning very low key. Let me remind you that in less then 11 years your 7 year old will probably not want to go on a trip with the parents, yep they do that.

I think parents need alone time be it at DL or a spa -cation. Kids are ours forever then then some LOL but husband and wife have sworn to be there for ever.

Not sure as a 5 and 7 year old if I would want to miss the great time at DL that being that age gives. Sure the little one might need a stroller, the 7 year old might act like 7 year olds do but -- remember that song let em sleep in the middle-- they are only little so long. With my only child being a mom now herself I have to say I miss the 4,5, and 6 year ages. I can go on trips with my husband when ever I want now. Funny thing is I still take my daughter. I have just added a son-in-law and two wonderful grandkids 6 and 9 now. Yes I have gone with just me and grandpa to DL -- grandkids were disappointed as I was to. Nice thing I know we are going back this summer /or fall.

You are going to miss the kids unless you are used to vacatioing without them but that is now what I get from your post.

No matter what you pick have fun and once you have decided don't look back.

 

[Aaron70Monte]

My wife and I went to DLR for our 10th anniversary in 2011. I had proposed to her there and we both love DLR. We also did a few days in Vegas during that trip. Our daughters were 2 and 4 at the time and we did not feel any guilt not bringing them.We did not try to hide it from them that we were going to DLR but we also did not hype it up too much. We told them that we'd take them when they were a little older and they were fine with that. The fact that we were on our anniversary and doing Vegas too also helped justify making it just a trip for adults. The kids spent the week with my parents who live a distance away so they had a great time also. We are taking the girls this coming May for their first time (they will be 4 and 7). It was actually cool doing that anniversary trip knowing it was the last time without kids. We really focused on soaking up the things we wanted to do there as a couple. That said, I'm now really looking forward to takiing my kids there for their first trip.

 

[jacs1234]

I say go without your kids. It's your 10th anniversary. We went without the kids once and they were 10, 8 , 5 and 4. They were fine with it and my 10 year old even said he thinks we deserve a trip alone. lol You'll take them again another year. They'll be fine and you'll have so much fun. You might feel guilty a little now and then but they'll have fun staying with grandparents or with whoever is looking after them. Go and have a great time.

 

[Mugglemama]

I'm in the "I wouldn't go without my kids" camp.

That doesn't mean I think people *shouldn't* go without their kids. It's just not something our family does. But then again, vacations are HUGE big deals to us, and something we only get to do about every other year (if that). For instance, we could never do WDW and DLR in the same 12-month period, with or without kids.

So, I really wouldn't dream of leaving mine home and a big part of that is because our vacations are so infrequent. But if your kids JUST had some awesome WDW vacay this summer, it certainly doesn't seem like you should feel bad about having them sit the next Disney trip out.

Have a great time!

 

[letthembelittle]

I would not take my kids on my 10th anniversary trip, no matter where we went for the trip.

This exactly. We went on a cruise to Alaska this June for ours and while I missed the kids and certainly wished they were with us for parts of the trip, 10 years is big deal you deserve to celebrate the two of you ALONE.

 

[kailuagirl]

It is really hard to answer for you, only you know how you will feel without your kids. Personally, there is no way I could ever go without my DD6. We just got back from DL recently, and were celebrating our 15th anniversary, as well as something else huge. I couldn't imagine being there without her. Every year Disney is different in a child's eye, at least with my DD. This years visit was so different then last years. She looked at things so differently. I can't wait to see what our next year's visit brings. Plus, she would never let me forget we went there without her

You have to follow your heart. If you really want it to be just the two of you, then decide it and don't look back. Otherwise, it could bring down your vibe of your trip. Whatever you decide, let it be your decision, and your decision (and your DH's) alone. Some people may judge you either way you decide, so you have to be confident in your decision.

Hugs, you have a difficult decision to make. Either way you choose, you are going to Disneyland! The Happiest Place on Earth!!

 

[Jaina]

10th anniversary? I would go without the kids. They might be a little upset, but you can bring them some cool souvenirs. It's never too early for them to learn that it's not ALL about them, and that mom & dad's relationship is important, too. My parents went to Disney several times without us, but more often than that, they took us too. So we weren't deprived, but they got some fun to theirselves as well.

 

[Barry Browning]

I always took my kids with us.We did not have grandparents so not a lot of choices.Ten years from now you may all be in another place, you never know.Take them with you maybe you get two rooms.I understand the alone thing but honestly when they are grown you will have the memories.And you never know my son went to work there, imagine if I had left him behind he might never have seen the place.Look fo CMs from Austin.

 

[bethy]

I've done this - gone to DL alone with DH for an anniversary trip. I didn't feel badly leaving my kids behind but once there I really truly missed them a lot. And it really cut into the enjoyment of our trip. It was only an issue because it was DL. Anyplace else and I would have been fine but DL is our family's special escape.

So I told DH I couldn't do that again - next time we would just go someplace else. I am definitely fine with getting away with DH alone. In fact we are going away to Puerto Vallarta together in a few weeks.

Once the kids are grown and gone I can definitely see going to DL alone with DH - I know I will love it throughout all the seasons of my life. But while they are young and living at home DL is extra special and I really really missed having them there with me.

 

[tiffjoy]

This is one of those really personal decisions where there's no one right, just what's right for your family.

We would never do a Disney vacation without the kids. We have way more fun with them than without (even taking into account the adult things we can no longer do now that we bring them). And I don't think I would feel right going to one of their favorite places without them.

We don't vacation without our kids, who are 4 and almost 2, even overnight, though. So I have perhaps a skewed perspective. It's just what feels right for us, personally (both DH and I), at this time. That might change, but I know I'd never do a Disney vacation without them until they are not able to go with us anymore.

It sounds like you are really on the fence... it must be hard! What about a mixed vacation? Maybe do a couple days at DL, just to do a few adult things, then go to San Diego or Vegas or San Francisco for the majority of your trip. Decide if you really need to tell the kids you went to DL for a small part of it? Or maybe do something else entirely, then plan a DL vacation for next year and get babysitting services for one evening/afternoon so you can do some of those adult things.