Swimming Pool time & some venting

[srferson]

A couple posters have mentioned that people at their pools share things, throw them in for all to use, a 'free-for-all.'

But it sounds to me like the annoying part of the OP's issue is not due to an unwillingness to share, but a frustration about people assuming they can mooch off of others instead of being responsible and making sure their own children have towels and toys to play with.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I tend to be a little protective our our families' things. Not because I don't like to share, but because I don't like to see our things being lost or mistreated. I don't blame the OP for wanting to keep the toys together.

I think I would devise another way to store the toys at the pool when they're not being used. Perhaps put them in a container with a lid that can be closed. If the container is not see-through, other kids won't be as tempted by it. Be sure your name is clearly marked on it. As for snacks and drinks, keep them in a cooler marked with your name. You can also try sliding things under your lounge chair. A kid might be less-likey to reach under a person to take something! If they want to borrow something, they'll have to ask permission first.

 

[minniebeth]

I used to teach and I'm big into kids sharing
I am always Miss Prepared Camper...I always have toys, towels, sunscreen, snacks, etc. for my kids and always feel bad for kids whose parents for whatever reason just don't provide those things for the kids at the pools, beach, etc.
With my first DS, I did label all toys and such with sharpies, but did make him share with other kids. Even when he cried...(guilt, oh I feel now for making him do that!) But you know what? I got over being so nice at the expense of my own child. I threw the "It takes a village" attitude out the window and not that I'm not nice to other kids and don't encourage my kids to share with others, but I don't force it upon them anymore.
Kids have to share all the time, at school, at daycare, at church and sometimes it's ok for them to have their own stuff and not haveto share.
When I stopped forcing it, they seemed to naturally want to share and when they didn't, I would politely talk to the child about my kids wanting to play with the toys that they brought. Occasionally, a child will not be so nice about it, I would get a little more firm about it in a kind and respectful way and they get the message.
It's really ok to not share sometimes and tell other kids so...

 

[sunlver]

I havent read all the posts yet. I will say it is common.

We belong to the JCC, and use their outdoor pool which is wonderful
Some people will bring toys for their kids, and other kids just normally gravitate over to them.. Kids are kids
I can understand how parents would be bothered by this.

Now, in the inside pool there are all sorts of pool toys that can be brought out, and that is what we do. We walk through the inside pool and grab a couple of small toys and head outside.

Honestly I hate bringing toys, not because of the other kids and wanting to play, but because we are always losing things. Even the cheap toys from the dollar store,will no doubt get left or lost.

 

[shortbun]

When I run into a situation like this I buy some extra, generic toys/towels and let people know that those are the ones there for just anyone to use but must stay there. My own son has his own stuff and he shares with his friends or they use the generic. We're vacationing with another family in two weeks. I've personally ordered all the equipment we'll need for the pool and the beach to be delivered on our arrival day-bikes, umbrellas, tables, surfboards and more. I suggested to the other family that they look over the possible things they might need, order it so it will be there. They laughed and said they never plan ahead like that. I'm sure they'll be using the stuff I ordered. It's ok, they are good friends with a different style. I'm actually amused at their casual approach. Having been a travel agent for such a long time puts me in the hyper organized category when it comes to relaxing because I want to immediately be in vacation mode-no decisions, no running around buying things. My girlfriend said, "I'm picky about the bike I ride." I told her I guessed she wouldn't be doing any biking on vacation, lol! My take on this is relax and go with the flow.

 

[srferson]

I totally hear what everyone is saying and I'm not saying anyone is wrong.

But, I don't think the OP is suggesting that any of the kids are to blame.

I also get the impression that she's not talking about people she knows well. There's a difference between deciding to go on vacation with friends that you know aren't planners and wanting to hang out at a community pool without having random adult neighbors expect that it's totally cool for their kids to use other people's stuff.

I'm not saying she should beat anybody up or threaten to eat kids brains or something.

I'm just saying that I think the frustration is totally understandable and is not unwarranted.

 

[LindaG4458]

What about people who think that the community pool is their private property?

In our NH complex there is one family, vacation owners rather than residents, that think the pool is their personal private property. They spend most of every day there and take over all of the facilities - the picnic table is covered with their belongings and they eat every meal there, they have toys spread all around the area, and they take over most of the chairs. This goes on every day. They don't want to be bothered to carry the water toys back and forth to the house so stack them in the pool area when they leave. Then they are angry when visitors think those toys are for everyone and take them out of the pile.

They are the people who have owned in the complex the longest (we are second) so they have been doing it forever and it will be difficult to change old habits. I just think that it is very inconsiderate.

 

[luvsJack]

A couple posters have mentioned that people at their pools share things, throw them in for all to use, a 'free-for-all.'

But it sounds to me like the annoying part of the OP's issue is not due to an unwillingness to share, but a frustration about people assuming they can mooch off of others instead of being responsible and making sure their own children have towels and toys to play with.

That was my thought too and when I said I felt her frustration. Its this feeling of them saying "oh, I won't bother to bring anything because there will be other people there with toys, towels,etc.". For me, I just can't always understand the way some people think and it just flabbergasts me and annoys the heck out of me too!

Seems like the community would have some kind of rules toward "bring your own supplies". But, even then some would never think it meant to them.

OP, I would hope that writing your daughters name all over everything would at least get all your stuff back and covering stuff up may help some; but just be aware there are some kids who have never been taught manners or to leave things alone and some parents who never see anything their kid does (or rather chooses not to see anything their kid does). Its amazing what a parent can "not see".

There are lots of things you can try that might help; but sadly because of the way some parents are the problem will probably never go away.

 

[happygirl]

OP I don't blame you in the least I would hate for my stuff to become community property

 

[bgirldeb]

What about people who think that the community pool is their private property?

In our NH complex there is one family, vacation owners rather than residents, that think the pool is their personal private property. They spend most of every day there and take over all of the facilities - the picnic table is covered with their belongings and they eat every meal there, they have toys spread all around the area, and they take over most of the chairs. This goes on every day. They don't want to be bothered to carry the water toys back and forth to the house so stack them in the pool area when they leave. Then they are angry when visitors think those toys are for everyone and take them out of the pile.

They are the people who have owned in the complex the longest (we are second) so they have been doing it forever and it will be difficult to change old habits. I just think that it is very inconsiderate.

Now that's just totally obnoxious!!! That would drive me crazy!

We're spoiled because up until 2 years ago, we lived around the block from my parents who have a nice inground pool, and we're used to having it to ourselves. Now we live somewhere with a community pool, and I hate having to 'socialize' when we're at the pool!

That being said, we usually keep the toys we're not using in my beach bag back at our chair, out of sight so the kids have out what they're playing with at the time. Still, we've had kids asking to use my kids goggles off of their head as soon as my kids stepped in the pool!

Another pet peeve is parents that don't watch their 'little' kids at the pool. There were some parents there one time that put life jackets on their little kids and let them jump in the large pool while the parents layed out on lounge chairs and didn't pay attention to what the kids were doing. Needless to say,they figured out a way to let themselves OUT of the pool area through a gate and into the parking lot!