I hoping that some of you would be willing to offer me some advice and opinions on my DS.
His background is long so forgive me for the length of this post. I'll try to hit the major points and then if there's questions please ask.
My DS is 6. He was adopted at birth from a birthmom who had a nonverbal learning disorder that required accommodations to made for in school. Her mom claimed that she had grown out of her disorder
. She was 21 when she gave birth to C. She was taking Effexor throughout her whole pg. Her family history is full of depression and ADHD. We have no history of his birthdad, only a brief physical description and the fact that he was a special education teacher where birthmom worked at (she was not a student there at all, there has been some confusion about their situation in the past). It is doubtful to me that she drank or did drugs, she was an extreme rule follower. But things have surprised me before.
DS spoke early. Around 8 months. I can't remember his first word because it seemed that he skipped words and went straight to full sentences. He did not walk until he was 18 months old and even then required PT because he overextended and locked his knees. He had OT for gross as well fine motor skill delays around 1 year old. He had extreme acid reflux and still suffers with it now. He has thyroid issues. He lacks growth hormone and up until a month ago was getting HGH injections very night. Before HGH treatment, he was small and had a FTT dx. With DS health, it has always been something.
He did well in K last year but was full of anxiety about social situations. He is clumsy and was easy sadden by the fact that he couldn't keep up with his peers on the playground. An example of social issues is the fact that three weeks into school, I asked him who he played with at recess and he said no one asks me to play so I stand by myself on the fence the whole time. After explaining that no one was going to invite him to play and that he just needed to join in, he did better. By the end of the year, he had friends. He was invited to a few birthday parties, but he does better one-on-one and not with a whole group of kids.
Academically he does well in some subjects and struggles in others. He reads at a higher level but can be distracted easily. He struggles with math when written out but can do it easily if it is visual. Hand writing is hard but he is doing better with a lot of practice. He has an incredible memory which he describes as a movie in his head. He can recall things in great detail down to what he was wearing at the time and what the smells and sounds were around him from experiences that happen three years ago. He describes things from almost a different vantage point. An example, my Dad and him were looking at a mosaic that was clearly a maze. My Dad commented "look at the maze C". C commented back, "it's not a maze, it's amazing". Keep in mind he was three at the time.
His eye contact is not good. If asked to focus on you when he is in the middle of a conversation he can do it but not for an extended period of time. He tries hard to please people around him but has a temper that comes out mostly at home (no issues at school, no issues with playdates, my MIL thinks he is a perfect angel)that is distressing to say the least. I have known for a long time that he had anxiety. He use to pick his nail beds until they bleed or he would bite his lip. Flaws in things bother him to the point that he will pick at them until the item is either ruined or the flaw is no longer present.
He uses silliness to cover up other feelings. When he is angry if you can get him to attach an event to the reason why he is feeling that way, you are almost always given a list of things that went wrong from that day to six months earlier. He is engaging with adults who find him endearing. He is not obsessed with items but time and disorder with his schedule is always upsetting. He loves to travel but needs to be briefed about activities before going.
He struggles with sleep, says his mind races and he gets stuck when trying fall asleep. He is very jealous of his older brother who is very different from him (athletic, easy going, social).
This summer was the tipping point for him and us. The best way to describe his behavior is like that of a beehive. Every once in awhile we would get stung, but this summer after starting therapy if was a full on swarm. After taking him to a therapist for what I thought was simple anxiety issues, he raged. The therapist suggested C had behavioral issues that could be fixed by changing our parenting. A timeout room was established, he was put there when he was misbehaving. It went alright for the first day, then he trashed my house. I mean he trashed it, threw things, broke things, flooded things, and did unmentionable things to carpets and walls. This went on for weeks, the therapist said give it time, it will get better, lock things up and the assault continued. He could not be left alone, even for a minute because he would trash something. After three weeks, the therapist suggested Prozac- that made things worse if that was possible. Therapist said to hospitalize him, we did for a week and now he is a day treatment program for a few more weeks.
C is doing better. He is not raging any longer but I feel like we are no closer to knowing the whys as we were when he was hospitalized. Drs are saying ADHD or ADD. They have thrown RAD at us, but are now saying no. Mood disorder NOS (with the idea that it could morph into BP later) and anxiety NOS is what they are claiming now. I'm not sure how they came to the mood disorder dx. They have left open a PDD spectrum dx (they are saying possible Aspergers or NVLD) but they are unsure. We have a Neuro Psych scheduled for next month. We have since discontinued seeing the previous therapist who in my opinion dropped the ball. DH and I are doing our best with keeping calm, using short words to explain our wants behavior wise. C talks about his feeling better, and we don't nag or lose our tempers as quickly with him but it still feels like we are flying blind.
This has truly been a parenting nightmare. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that we end up on this path, but that doesn't change the fact that I love my son dearly.
I want to be a better parent to him and for him but my own temperament requires some sort of gameplan. So that is where ya'll come in- what are your impressions of my DS. Play armchair Dr with me and tell me what you think because at this point I would love any guidance I can get. I have my own idea of what is going on but I fear voicing to will make me seem stupid.
His background is long so forgive me for the length of this post. I'll try to hit the major points and then if there's questions please ask.
My DS is 6. He was adopted at birth from a birthmom who had a nonverbal learning disorder that required accommodations to made for in school. Her mom claimed that she had grown out of her disorder
. She was 21 when she gave birth to C. She was taking Effexor throughout her whole pg. Her family history is full of depression and ADHD. We have no history of his birthdad, only a brief physical description and the fact that he was a special education teacher where birthmom worked at (she was not a student there at all, there has been some confusion about their situation in the past). It is doubtful to me that she drank or did drugs, she was an extreme rule follower. But things have surprised me before.DS spoke early. Around 8 months. I can't remember his first word because it seemed that he skipped words and went straight to full sentences. He did not walk until he was 18 months old and even then required PT because he overextended and locked his knees. He had OT for gross as well fine motor skill delays around 1 year old. He had extreme acid reflux and still suffers with it now. He has thyroid issues. He lacks growth hormone and up until a month ago was getting HGH injections very night. Before HGH treatment, he was small and had a FTT dx. With DS health, it has always been something.
He did well in K last year but was full of anxiety about social situations. He is clumsy and was easy sadden by the fact that he couldn't keep up with his peers on the playground. An example of social issues is the fact that three weeks into school, I asked him who he played with at recess and he said no one asks me to play so I stand by myself on the fence the whole time. After explaining that no one was going to invite him to play and that he just needed to join in, he did better. By the end of the year, he had friends. He was invited to a few birthday parties, but he does better one-on-one and not with a whole group of kids.
Academically he does well in some subjects and struggles in others. He reads at a higher level but can be distracted easily. He struggles with math when written out but can do it easily if it is visual. Hand writing is hard but he is doing better with a lot of practice. He has an incredible memory which he describes as a movie in his head. He can recall things in great detail down to what he was wearing at the time and what the smells and sounds were around him from experiences that happen three years ago. He describes things from almost a different vantage point. An example, my Dad and him were looking at a mosaic that was clearly a maze. My Dad commented "look at the maze C". C commented back, "it's not a maze, it's amazing". Keep in mind he was three at the time.
His eye contact is not good. If asked to focus on you when he is in the middle of a conversation he can do it but not for an extended period of time. He tries hard to please people around him but has a temper that comes out mostly at home (no issues at school, no issues with playdates, my MIL thinks he is a perfect angel)that is distressing to say the least. I have known for a long time that he had anxiety. He use to pick his nail beds until they bleed or he would bite his lip. Flaws in things bother him to the point that he will pick at them until the item is either ruined or the flaw is no longer present.
He uses silliness to cover up other feelings. When he is angry if you can get him to attach an event to the reason why he is feeling that way, you are almost always given a list of things that went wrong from that day to six months earlier. He is engaging with adults who find him endearing. He is not obsessed with items but time and disorder with his schedule is always upsetting. He loves to travel but needs to be briefed about activities before going.
He struggles with sleep, says his mind races and he gets stuck when trying fall asleep. He is very jealous of his older brother who is very different from him (athletic, easy going, social).
This summer was the tipping point for him and us. The best way to describe his behavior is like that of a beehive. Every once in awhile we would get stung, but this summer after starting therapy if was a full on swarm. After taking him to a therapist for what I thought was simple anxiety issues, he raged. The therapist suggested C had behavioral issues that could be fixed by changing our parenting. A timeout room was established, he was put there when he was misbehaving. It went alright for the first day, then he trashed my house. I mean he trashed it, threw things, broke things, flooded things, and did unmentionable things to carpets and walls. This went on for weeks, the therapist said give it time, it will get better, lock things up and the assault continued. He could not be left alone, even for a minute because he would trash something. After three weeks, the therapist suggested Prozac- that made things worse if that was possible. Therapist said to hospitalize him, we did for a week and now he is a day treatment program for a few more weeks.
C is doing better. He is not raging any longer but I feel like we are no closer to knowing the whys as we were when he was hospitalized. Drs are saying ADHD or ADD. They have thrown RAD at us, but are now saying no. Mood disorder NOS (with the idea that it could morph into BP later) and anxiety NOS is what they are claiming now. I'm not sure how they came to the mood disorder dx. They have left open a PDD spectrum dx (they are saying possible Aspergers or NVLD) but they are unsure. We have a Neuro Psych scheduled for next month. We have since discontinued seeing the previous therapist who in my opinion dropped the ball. DH and I are doing our best with keeping calm, using short words to explain our wants behavior wise. C talks about his feeling better, and we don't nag or lose our tempers as quickly with him but it still feels like we are flying blind.
This has truly been a parenting nightmare. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that we end up on this path, but that doesn't change the fact that I love my son dearly.
I want to be a better parent to him and for him but my own temperament requires some sort of gameplan. So that is where ya'll come in- what are your impressions of my DS. Play armchair Dr with me and tell me what you think because at this point I would love any guidance I can get. I have my own idea of what is going on but I fear voicing to will make me seem stupid.
)
