Surrogate Mothers: A good idea?

[dejr_8]

Just watched Baby Mama (a typical SNL vehicle movie) and the Sigourney Weaver character made some good arguments why using a Surrogate Mother for Professional Women makes sense.

For example: You hire a nanny to take care of the baby once it born why is it any different to hire a woman to carry the baby during gestation.


Do you think using a Surrogate Mother makes sense?

 

[happygirl]

I could never do it. It would be to hard to give up a baby that I had carried

 

[mjkacmom]

I think it's a win-win. Legally, the surrogate is not the mother, and can't keep the baby. I do think either use your own egg, or a donor, never the surrogates.

 

[Piecey]

I don't know about the whole business lady thing because I can't imagine paying someone else to take care of my boy.... DH and I already decided I won't be going back to work because the little bit I'd make after daycare and travel (I worked 30 minutes away) wouldn't cover the "cost" of someone else taking care of our son.


That said, I'd be a surrogate because pregnancy has been a breeze for me and I'd love to be able to give someone the joy that I'm experiencing now. Everyone should be able to have children- infertility breaks my heart and so if someone ever asked, I'd probably be a surrogate for them.

 

[krcit]

Hmmmm, I may sound hypocritical but I'm all for surrogacy in cases of infertility or it being too dangerous to the mothers health to carry a baby but no way on the business woman 'hiring' someone to carry her baby for her.Pregnancy is not an inconvenience. It is a gift. I would be a surrogate if the circumstances were right.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I would do it for someone, but they would have to pay for my personal trainer and chef when its all over!

But seriously, if there was a male couple out there who really wanted a child, and I could help them, I would. Also if it was a hetro couple that for medical reasons or whatever couldn't do it themselves, I'd do it too - but they would have to be close friends.

 

[becpee]

I'm all for surrogacy (even though here in Australia the laws relating to surrogacy are too tight).

What I don't agree with is surrogacy because people are too busy to be pregnant, if you're too busy to be pregnant, you're too busy to have kids.
I suppose that relates to full full time nannies as well (live in nannies), why have kids if you're too busy to look after them??

I don't know if I could be a surrogate, but i'm all for other people doing it.

 

[Jusacuz]

Baby Mama is not a great representation of how surrogacy works in real life. Hilarious movie, but not a lot of reality in there. I have never heard of professional women without fertility issues hiring a surrogate. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it is not the norm.

Having been through two rounds of IVF as a surrogate for a gay couple (both failed unfortunately), I can say that I would never do it for a couple that could have a baby the "old fashioned way". It isn't easy and it is nothing like getting pregnant the usual way and there is no way I'd go through it for a person's convenience so they didn't have to be pregnant.

I was actually shocked when my male lawyer asked me about it because HE wanted another child, but his wife didn't and he thought surrogacy was the answer.

 

[Disney Doll]

Not something that would work for me...either hiring one or being hired as one.

 

[Stellapedia]

Uh, no. Pay someone to birth it, pay someone to raise it... why not just make a donation to an orphanage and not worry about being called mommy?

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I feel like if you are not able to have children on your own, God is giving you a sign that there are children out there waiting to be adopted who may need you to be their parents.

Just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

 

[mjkacmom]

Baby Mama is not a great representation of how surrogacy works in real life. Hilarious movie, but not a lot of reality in there. I have never heard of professional women without fertility issues hiring a surrogate. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it is not the norm.

Having been through two rounds of IVF as a surrogate for a gay couple (both failed unfortunately), I can say that I would never do it for a couple that could have a baby the "old fashioned way". It isn't easy and it is nothing like getting pregnant the usual way and there is no way I'd go through it for a person's convenience so they didn't have to be pregnant.

I was actually shocked when my male lawyer asked me about it because HE wanted another child, but his wife didn't and he thought surrogacy was the answer.

I saw the movie, and I really thought that she wasn't able to have a baby (I remember a scene in the doctors office?). Although I'm all for surragates, I don't think someone should do it just not to be pregnant - I thought we were talking about infertility.

 

[december]

I offered to be a surrogate for my older sister, who couldn't carry a baby. She didn't take me up on it, though. And dh and I talked about offering to do it for some friends of ours-but decided against it. I would never consider it for someone just as a matter of convenience.

I had 3 hard pregnancies, but wouldn't change it for anything. The feeling of that life growing inside you is like no other. As far as hiring someone to take care of your baby, that is a fact of life for most of us. My little one will be starting daycare in August, but I will be the one raising her.

 

[donald&daisy]

I see no problem with it. Not everyone considers childbearing to be a great experience or even one they personally feel they want to experience. As long as the laws are followed (no baby selling, coercion etc) I don't have any problems with it. In fact, I think it is a good thing. Someone must really want a baby to pay the expense of someone else bearing it for them and to go through the trouble of finding a suitable surogate. Shows some planning has gone into the process which hopefully means they have thought about all the reponsibilities that go along with rearing a child. Please don't read this to mean that "accidental" or "unplanned" pregnancies are bad, but let's face it--they are by definition unplanned.

 

[bumbershoot]

I feel like if you are not able to have children on your own, God is giving you a sign that there are children out there waiting to be adopted who may need you to be their parents.

Just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

Honestly, that's the kind of thing that should be thought, and said between people you know agree, at home, rather than stated out loud. Seriously.

'cuz as far as I know, this god you talk about doesn't plunk down 20K for adoption fees along with the knowledge that you can't have 'em.

Now I know what you're thinking...you're thinking I disagree entirely. In our time of secondary infertility, I've realized as time passes that, for us, it has been GOOD that we haven't yet been able to have a baby. DS was far too...too...something...having more kids quickly would have sent me over the edge. I used to long for "irish twins" but I wouldn't have survived, I don't think. So for us it has been good. And recently we've basically figured out the problem, and it's a problem that could have been remedied about 2 years ago when hubby started talking to NDs and MDs about some symptoms he was having, but they all ignored him entirely, wanting to focus on my age, rather than the things he was telling them were going on...

So we see a light at the end of the tunnel, and for our OWN SELVES and our own lives, we know that it's been a good thing that this all happened...but I would never look at someone else's situation and say that it's a good thing for THEM, too.

Well, unless YOU are going to give them the money for adoption....are you?




I would have been a surrogate for a friend if she'd decided to have children. Thankfully she decided she did not want them just about the same time that being pregnancy for me was not a walk in the park (no medical problems, just low-level yuck the whole time with 3rd tri nausea, constant heartburn, inability to eat almost anything, extreme sense of smell, etc etc etc...all the "normal" stuff multiplied by 100 resulted in very miserable me).

 

[Serena]

I thought about it at one time. Pregnancy was pretty easy for me, until the last month of my second.

 

[browneyes106]

I would never be a surrogate or hire a surrogate.

 

[ZPT1022]

I don't know about the whole business lady thing because I can't imagine paying someone else to take care of my boy.... DH and I already decided I won't be going back to work because the little bit I'd make after daycare and travel (I worked 30 minutes away) wouldn't cover the "cost" of someone else taking care of our son.


That said, I'd be a surrogate because pregnancy has been a breeze for me and I'd love to be able to give someone the joy that I'm experiencing now. Everyone should be able to have children- infertility breaks my heart and so if someone ever asked, I'd probably be a surrogate for them.

As someone who has gone through a lot with infertility I have to say this just warms my heart. You are such a sweet person!

I feel like if you are not able to have children on your own, God is giving you a sign that there are children out there waiting to be adopted who may need you to be their parents.

Just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

Out of curiosity, have you ever had to deal with infertility? Had trouble getting pregnant or lost a pregnancy? It's one of those things that you think you have the answer to until it actually happens to you. For some people it takes a long time to come to the place where adoption is the answer and for some people they just never get there. It's also not just as easy as placing a call and having someone bring you a baby or child.





I myself would never be a surrogate but I don't think anyone in their right mind would want me to- I've had a hard time getting pregnant and I've also had pregnancy loss. It wouldn't be a good bet for someone to put their hopes into me carrying a child for them. If I could though, I absolutely would

 

[tasha99]

For couples who can't have children because of infertility or because they're both male, I think surrogacy is great. The idea of a business woman having a surrogate for convenience, though, is disgusting to me. Pregnancy isn't without risk to the person carrying the baby, and putting that off on someone else for money trivializes what carrying a baby entails. Plus, I could see a class system where wealthy women don't lose their figures or their time, while poorer women bear children and develop the health problems that can happen after repeated pregnancies.

 

[alexandria674]

I would consider being a surrogate, especially if a woman cannot have a child or there is a much higher risk associated to her pregnancy. As for using one, if I was physically unable to have the baby, then I would probably have a surrogate.