supposed to be excited....

[lawlesslovewdw]

Only 13 days to go.... at least it should be. my fil had a triple heart by pass on tuesday, which went really well. The nurses say he is doing well although he is still on oxygen and i know that his bp is still a little dickie , here is my problem.. mil has parkinsons and oesteoarthritis, so before the op he was her main carer. Between now and going on hol i will be going up 4-5 days a week 3 times a day to feed them and sort washing out etc... mil sister will be going up twice a week to do housework. my dh brother will be going up on saturdays (they both work fulltime and have a young child, We have our business in which we are the sole workers, have 2 young children one of which is autistic). So far my dh and i are going to hospital twice a day taking mil doing shopping etc (her sister is staying at her house) sat with her during operation etc, bil took the day off and went to his wifes sisters for the day.

This is my dilema should we still go on holiday like everyone is telling us and make bil take some time off to help (they have got some time booked off but they are going on days out!!) I feel like we are having to do all the work we are walking around like zombies whilst they pop up for 2 hours visiting in the evening. mil dear friend has offered to take meals round, sister will go up 3 times a week and so far bil said he will take them a meal round one evening and leave one for the next night!! who is going to take it to them mil cant walk and will fil be able to use trolley to carry things and how will they lift them??

Has anyone got experience in how fil might be in 13 days?
Will he be able to make drinks and a sandwich for lunch?
Mil & fil have begged us NOT to cancel holiday
Plus i feel guilty for leaving them.
If we dont go we lose free ddp and cruise that we booked using DVC points which we cant change due to use year etc!

Help

 

[BRobson]

First of all a big for you. It soulds like you have your hands full! I dont have any experience of your FIL operation but I do know what it is like when you feel you are doing the lions share

Would you consider some sort of home help/carer. When my granda was ill at the beginning of the year my mum became sole carer. When he came out of hospital a carer was arranged to go in 3 times aday to help with meals and washing.It was a godsend for my mum and gave her piece of mind.

I do think you should go on holiday as I am sure the rest of the family will muck in.

Hope this helps

 

[natalielongstaff]

i think you should go and enjoy your holiday x x x you will be able to help when you get back

 

[Melcatfish]

I also think you should go - it sounds as if they will be devastated and feel awful if you cancel. I was also going to suggest seeing if you could book a few visits from a care agency to help fill the gaps. Also it sounds like BIL ought to pull his weight a bit more - perhaps a job for DH to talk to his brother about taking his fair share of caring duties.

(((Hugs))) and I hope you go and can enjoy it - you sound like you could do with the break.

Mel
x

 

[CustardTart]

I really hope you feel able to go.

My MIL had a double heart by-pass op a couple of years ago and she was home alone (she's widowed) and able to prepare a light meal/make tea after a couple of weeks or so. My SIL popped in daily and shopped for her when necessary plus she had Meals on Wheels. It sounds like you have quite a few people willing to help out and the carer idea is great - take advantage of them and go and enjoy your holiday. Then you'll be refreshed and ready to help out as much as you can when you return...

 

[OWJAY]

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear your news. I was going to suggest a carer of some sort also. When I came back from WDW 2 years ago my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer (to which she died 9 weeks later). I was her only daughter and also had 3 young children and my mum lived on her own. I obviously couldn't do it all on my own so the local hospice got in touch with a care agency and they also arranged meals on wheels which really helped. It might be worth asking the hospital if they can recommend any help.

I know how you fell about going on holiday but would it upset your Mil and Fil more by you not going, I think you need this holiday to re-charge your batteries so to speak.

Good luck whatever you decide

 

[lawlesslovewdw]

Thank you for all your kind words just needed to get things off my chest,