Summer Idea's For 13y/o

[momz]

My DS is 13. Just finishing up his 7th grade year. This summer, he will sleep in most days, ride his bike to meet up with his friends, go to the community pool with his friends, go fishing in the neighborhood ponds with his friends, go exploring in the woods with his friends, hang out at home and other homes with his friends, eat a lot of food (with his friends as this is what they do)....oh, and mow the lawn.

I love summer.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

What does your DD like to do? I grew up hating camp because most summers I was forced to go to a camp that I didn't want to attend. I still have some pretty awful memories. It was only when my parents put me in theatre camp in middle school that I found a passion that made me want to go to camp and actually changed the course of my life.

People seem quick to jump on OP as someone who's micromanaging their kid.. but what if the parent truly isn't home to watch their kid all day? They have to go somewhere/do something.

 

[sam_gordon]

what if the parent truly isn't home to watch their kid all day? They have to go somewhere/do something.

Not at 13 they don't.

ETA: Maybe the child has some special issue that prevents them from staying by themselves, but I'd say that's the exception rather than the rule.

 

[momz]

What does your DD like to do? I grew up hating camp because most summers I was forced to go to a camp that I didn't want to attend. I still have some pretty awful memories. It was only when my parents put me in theatre camp in middle school that I found a passion that made me want to go to camp and actually changed the course of my life.

People seem quick to jump on OP as someone who's micromanaging their kid.. but what if the parent truly isn't home to watch their kid all day? They have to go somewhere/do something.

eh. most 13 year olds do just fine on their own for the day. by now, they should be able to navigate their neighborhood to meet up with friends. They can be trusted to be polite when at other's homes. They have a grasp of time management and know where to be at a specified time. They can also figure out how to entertain themselves.

Give a kid a few chores to accomplish, not something that will take all day or cause undo stress. But, things like picking up after themselves, taking out the trash, unloading the dishwasher. Then send them on their way. Reward the kid with a little bit of freedom.

They need to learn autonomy a little at a time. Biking around the neighborhood at 13. Driving to a part-time job at 16.

Camp and daycare at 13 is to structured. But, that is just my opinion. I don't know OP's circumstances or child. So, there's certainly other choices that could be made.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

What does your DD like to do? I grew up hating camp because most summers I was forced to go to a camp that I didn't want to attend. I still have some pretty awful memories. It was only when my parents put me in theatre camp in middle school that I found a passion that made me want to go to camp and actually changed the course of my life.

People seem quick to jump on OP as someone who's micromanaging their kid.. but what if the parent truly isn't home to watch their kid all day? They have to go somewhere/do something.

That's exactly my point.

They do NOT *have* to go somewhere/do something at age 13. By this age, kids should be able to figure out how to entertain themselves while mom and dad work.

All kids at that age want is to be left alone for once in their lives.

At least the ones that I know.

Also, not talking about any kid that has a special need.

 

[mya1k9]

I disagree. If OP works full time every day, the kid may be fine just hanging out but a bored kid is a kid who gets in trouble. Whats wrong with finding things to do over the summer to break things up? Thats not being a micromanager, thats being a conseincous parent.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

I disagree. If OP works full time every day, the kid may be fine just hanging out but a bored kid is a kid who gets in trouble. Whats wrong with finding things to do over the summer to break things up? Thats not being a micromanager, thats being a conseincous parent.

I feel like a lot of 13-year-olds would end up spending most of their days on the computer/playing video games/watching TV. I guess a lot of people on here live in places where kids bike to their friends' houses or around town; when I was that age none of my friends lived within biking distance. I think camp and activities can be great if the kid is interested and enjoys whatever it is.

 

[Southernmiss]

I feel like a lot of 13-year-olds would end up spending most of their days on the computer/playing video games/watching TV. I guess a lot of people on here live in places where kids bike to their friends' houses or around town; when I was that age none of my friends lived within biking distance. I think camp and activities can be great if the kid is interested and enjoys whatever it is.

As others have said, my kids are so scheduled in the school year, even the college ones, that if they want to play video games all summer and all night long so be it. Grades are good, they help at home and church and are otherwise productive most of the year.

Down time is not a bad thing. Can prevent burn out and stress. Maybe adults need more in their lives.

 

[jevs]

I know this is going to sound so old fashioned but what about some family time, you know family members actually spending time with each other face to face.

Perhaps watch old episodes of the Brady Bunch to get some ideas. Don't forget to include the housekeeper in the fun times!

 

[nene0182]

My 14 year old DS will be doing the same thing he did last summer. A few trips here and there (one with his dad, one with us) sleeping in until noon, staying up until 3am, swimming with friends at the neighborhood pool, Geocaching around town, playing video games, etc. But, this summer he's also taking Drivers Ed for 2 weeks and going to Washington DC for a week with his school.

 

[sam_gordon]

I disagree. If OP works full time every day, the kid may be fine just hanging out but a bored kid is a kid who gets in trouble. Whats wrong with finding things to do over the summer to break things up? Thats not being a micromanager, thats being a conseincous parent.

You don't have much faith in kids, do you? There's nothing wrong with finding things to do, as long as the child is interested in doing things. If the teenager wants to just laze around the house or just visit with friends, I say go for it. If the parent is scheduling the kid just because THEY feel the child needs to do something, that's being a micromanager. Just my opinion.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

My kids are 17 and 11 and have been staying home in the summer since DS was about 12/13. They eat, sleep in, play games, make musicly videos, play with friends, watch tv, etc. I work full time so most days they sleep until noon. I don't care as long as the house is clean.

DS will have a job this summer but in the evenings since he watches DD.

 

[mya1k9]

You don't have much faith in kids, do you? There's nothing wrong with finding things to do, as long as the child is interested in doing things. If the teenager wants to just laze around the house or just visit with friends, I say go for it. If the parent is scheduling the kid just because THEY feel the child needs to do something, that's being a micromanager. Just my opinion.

I actually have a ton of faith in kids however, they are kids and boredom does lead to trouble, i see it all the time. There is nothing wrong with sitting around and playing video games but if the OP is trying to keep her kid engaged over the summer while she works, i dont think just letting them fend for themselves is the answer shes looking for.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I actually have a ton of faith in kids however, they are kids and boredom does lead to trouble, i see it all the time. There is nothing wrong with sitting around and playing video games but if the OP is trying to keep her kid engaged over the summer while she works, i dont think just letting them fend for themselves is the answer shes looking for.

I love how being responsible for figuring out how to keep yourself entertained translates to "fending for themselves" in today's society.

They aren't being left in the woods with a tarp and some matches, for goodness sake. They are at home. From the looks of the family rooms and kids' bedrooms of everyone we know, there are more choices of activities for kids to do than they will ever have time for in their lives right in front of their faces - especally since they are all apparently put into summer daycare until they go to college nowadays.

A week of a specialized camp here, an art class there, maybe an afternoon a week volunteering at the library should be PLENTY for a 13 year old. If they are that bent on"getting into trouble", there is no amount of daycare that is going to stop them. I promise you that.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I am a huge proponent of down time for kids (and "bored" is known as "the B-word" around here - because if you admit it, there will be chore suggestions ) but as I work on the school schedule, it's been easy for me. We are the house where the kids swim, and they can set their own schedule, and invent their own fun, and I love it!

If I worked in the summer, though, I wouldn't be comfortable with a bunch of 13-year-olds in the pool with no adult home. We don't know what kind of resources the OP's DD has to get together with friends, etc. So I'd have to know the situation better to judge.

 

[sam_gordon]

I actually have a ton of faith in kids however, they are kids and boredom does lead to trouble, i see it all the time. There is nothing wrong with sitting around and playing video games but if the OP is trying to keep her kid engaged over the summer while she works, i dont think just letting them fend for themselves is the answer shes looking for.

Well, it is an internet message board. If the OP only wanted certain answers, she should look elsewhere, or at least say so. I have no problems with keeping kids engaged over the summer. Mine have gone to various camps (athletics, scholastic, church, and just general). However, it's all camps the child has wanted to go to. Scheduling camps without communication with the child (at that age) is wrong IMO. Scheduling just so the kids "aren't bored" is also wrong. My first post on the thread asked what the teen likes. If the child is a bookworm (stereotyping), sending them to a basketball camp might not be enjoyable.

 

[cabanafrau]

It's actually possible that some people understood the OP the way I did, that OP and her daughter have talked about summer planning and are trying to figure out some possible sources of what they're looking for. By the time mine were 13 they had very definite ideas about what they wanted to do with their summers. Simply because kids are busy and have schedules in the summer doesn't necessarily point to micromanaging, mistrustful parents of potentially troublesome kids. My kids had some stuff they wanted to try out in the summer because they were too busy while school, dance and everything else was in session. That's how one of my daughters managed to squeeze in a sewing class she'd been dying to try. Both of mine reached the decision they wound up feeling blobby and kind of blah with much downtime.

Yes, sometimes when you hear hoofbeats it might be zebras. So by all means assume it's zebras this time and rip to shreds the parenting of anybody with kids you deem overscheduled, because I'm sure you know a lot more about what everyone's kids do than their own parents.

 

[mombrontrent]

As a parent of three kids age 17,14 and 10 I love summer and school breaks, love it! I don't have to get kids up and make sure they catch the bus. I'm not worried about them getting to bed at a decent hour, dragging them out of bed, asking about homework and assignments ect. I just get up to a quiet house and get myself ready for work in quiet peace. Plus I actually love having the kids and all their friends here all summer, I don't care about extra mess or extra bodies sleeping all over, I enjoy the relaxation of summer.

My kids keep themselves busy (although I did put youngest dd in camp for two weeks last summer as she wanted to). Dd14 babysat a bit but other then that she was free to do as she pleased. Which meant sleeping till noon, walking to the beach, hanging out with friends. We live in a small town and everyone and everything is within walking distance. As long as she responded to my texts I was happy to let her be.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

My history of being a teen and having nothing to do all summer besides swim in did lead me to do things I shouldn't have been doing. Drinking, smoking, anything to kill the boredom of two months off school.

My kids picked day camps they wanted to try out, did life guarding and other courses, traveled, and otherwise had about two weeks, all told to hang out and do nothing. They would have been bored out of their minds otherwise.

 

[HeatherC]

I don't see a problem in having a few things planned over the summer. I also don't think a 13 year old needs to have their entire summer scheduled down to the last minute. It might be nice to have a few things to look forward to, but it's also nice to have downtime so they can just hang out and paint their nails if they want.

I think a lot of people today...adults included don't know what to do with themselves if their every waking moment isn't scheduled or planned. That, in my opinion, can lessen creativity and exploration. Our world needs more creative thinkers. I think it's good to allow a kid to be just be bored a bit and leave it to them to figure out what to do on their own sometimes. We may all be surprised by what they are able to dream up when given the opportunity.

On the flip side of the coin, I would think just leaving a kid to their own devices day after day can and often does lead to trouble. A happy medium would be great.