Suggestions Needed for Best Way to "Remember Mommy"

[Disney Dad Canada]

For those of you that don't know me, I'm a widowed Dad to three great kids, son 10 and twin daughters 6. My wife was the huge Disney fan of the family, so much so that before she passed away 3 1/2 years ago from melanoma (a mole that went bad during her pregnancy with the twins) she told me "Don't take the kids to the cemetery to visit me, take them to Disney World, because thats where I'm going."

It took me until last May to take them, and needless to say it was very bittersweet for me when we threw the pixie dust at rope drop of the Magic Kingdom.

While at Pixie Hollow, Tinkerbell innocently asked my twins "Where's Mommy?". After the girls said "Up in Heaven", Tink, to her credit, said "Well you give me some big ol' hugs, and I'll fly right up to Heaven and give them to her." That night at Wishes, when my girls saw Tink scaling down from the castle, they screamed "Look, Tinkberbell's coming down from Heaven, Mommy got our hugs." At the end of Wishes there were three huge heart shaped fireworks, and all of my kids said "Thanks for the hearts Mommy, we love you too."

We're off to WDW again May 27th, this time for an 8 night stay at Animal Kingdom, Jambo house. (I used the last of my wife's life insurance to buy DVC resale.) My question to all of you Disney experts out there is, can anyone think of a good way for my kids to get a "message from Mommy". I was thinking of something left in our room by the Disney florists, but I'm sure some of you out there would have some great ideas.

 

[peanut1967]

Hugs to you.

One thing maybe buy 3 disney balloons let the kids write a message for mommy on them and then let them go find somewhere specail and quiet. I would phone Disney maybe you get permission to get into a park a little earlier to release the balloons near the castle, or book for a nice breakfast after the release, like Crystal Palace or your wifes favourite park.

Amazing you are keeping your childrens mum still close to them.
Angie

 

[rocio]

Your post just brought me to tears. I just love how the Tinkerbell thing just manifested itself. Maybe it really was a message from mommy. I think just let the magic happen, it doesn't sound like you need to force it. The kids seem to find the connection all on their own. If you get flowers or something like that, when they get older they may realize it came from you and might get upset. If it's just something that naturally occurs then it simply was that: magic. Enjoy your trip. I have twins myself and can't imagine parenting them and my oldest on my own. Go dad!

 

[safetymom]

I don't think you should plan a message from Mommy. If something happens then great.

When my husband died we did a lot of talking about Daddy. You don't want them to think that they only place they can "talk" with their Mom is at WDW. We liked to think their Dad was with them everywhere.

I am sure you are going to have a magical time without planning any special Mom moments.

 

[SGB13]

Ok let me wipe away the tears. I am always amazed at the magic that happens at Disney. I think the balloons sound like a great idea. But agree about working too hard to make something look like it came from their mom. Let things happen naturally. They will be looking for their mom at Disney, so they will find her there. It sounds like you are doing a great job!

 

[Bornteach]

I agree with what others have said. I would hazard a guess that your wife already will say hi in her own way. I am a firm believer in allowing things happen, especially when it comes to sign of a loved one. We have had a few of our own.

Have a fantastic trip!

 

[elemusing]

Your post also brought me to tears. It will be great through the years each time you go to a park if you will point out the rides/attractions that your wife loved. Let the kids know - "mommy loved this ride!" "Mommy loved this show - she always said how she could hardly wait for you to grow up and see it" etc. etc. These are the memories they will cherish.

{{{{{{{{{HUGS!}}}}}}}}}}

Angie

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

I totally agree with what Kathy and other PP said above. If you have a lot of good memories with your wife that involve Disney stuff, I bet your kids would LOVE to have those memories.

 

[SamSam]

Oh, boy did I well up with your post. I agree with what others have said, let things happen naturally and talk about their mommy all the time.

I lost my dad when I was 16, I'm 56 now, and there are times I miss him more now than ever. My sisters and my brother love talking about our dad and can even be amused at how different our own memories of the same events can be.

By talking about their mommy you will help their memories of her stay fresh and they will have that gift the rest of their lives.

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

Thanks for all of your great advice. We do the balloon messages every year on her birthday. I was going to do that from our hotel room, but realized that balloons are not allowed at Animal Kingdom due to safety for the animals.

We talk about Mommy every day, and say good night to her every night. We'll be there with my mother in law this time, who not only lost her only child (my wife), but her husband 2 days before Christmas this year. She's so looking forward to see the smiles on her grandkids faces, especially since my kids know so much about WDW.

I'll definately post tons of pictures and videos when the time comes (with the free DVC internet access). Stay tuned.

 

[GOLD04]

Your story hits way too close to home.

My wife Cathy passed away one month ago today at the age of 46. We were married for 20 years.
We had a WDW trip planned with my SIL and niece. We are still going and will be celebrating Cathy while there. Even a small part of her will be left behind so she will be in WDW forever.

Not quite sure how the whole trip will be but must keep moving forward with life.

 

[rocio]

My thoughts with you too "Gold"

 

[TXYankee]

Your post brought tears to my eyes too.
What a wonderful father you are.

My Dad was the parent that brought to Magic to Disney to his children. Since he has passed my brother, sister and I have a tradition of always going on his favorite ride first. He loved It's A Small World so when we go to WDW the first park is the Magic Kingdom and the First Ride is IASW. My neices and nephews know that the first ride is always with Papa!

 

[aGoofyMom]

Ok I got all teary too...

While I agree on making sure Disney isn't the only place to talk to Mom...I may have an idea.

I did something for DD's first trip that could work here. I looked at old photos from my childhood trips at WDW (ok it was only MK) and re-created a bunch of them. For example, me with my Dad on the carousel, DH and DD on the carousel. I didn't tell her what I was doing in case I couldn't get what I wanted. We also recreated some photos from our honeymoon, adding DD into the picture. I took all the photos, old and new and made a photobook out of them.

Traveling with your MIL, if there are old pictures from your wife's childhood, especially if she went with her Mom, then scan in old photos, make new memories and you could put together something real special, including Tink hugs, so the kids could see that life does go on. Burn a back up copy of all the photos, and make sure they get copies for when they get older.

 

[elemusing]

Great idea!

Ok I got all teary too...

While I agree on making sure Disney isn't the only place to talk to Mom...I may have an idea.

I did something for DD's first trip that could work here. I looked at old photos from my childhood trips at WDW (ok it was only MK) and re-created a bunch of them. For example, me with my Dad on the carousel, DH and DD on the carousel. I didn't tell her what I was doing in case I couldn't get what I wanted. We also recreated some photos from our honeymoon, adding DD into the picture. I took all the photos, old and new and made a photobook out of them.

Traveling with your MIL, if there are old pictures from your wife's childhood, especially if she went with her Mom, then scan in old photos, make new memories and you could put together something real special, including Tink hugs, so the kids could see that life does go on. Burn a back up copy of all the photos, and make sure they get copies for when they get older.

 

[cj9200]

I am in a similar situation. DD’s mom suffered a degenerative illness for a long time. I took DD and 6 of her friends for a weekend trip to celebrate her 16th birthday. One of the things we did was an Illuminations Cruise. Her mom loved the fireworks that I called the screaming meanies. When they went off, I leaned over and asked whose fireworks were those. DD answered, “Mom’s.” She passed away shortly after that trip. I know the next time we go back, there will be a multitude of memories and mixed emotions because WDW was our special place together.

Best wishes to your family and all those that lost loved ones.

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

I booked the Pirates and Pals boat cruise to see Wishes from a different prespective.

 

[SamSam]

I booked the Pirates and Pals boat cruise to see Wishes from a different prespective.

Great idea!

 

[Mrs D]

is all I can say.

 

[gr8leg8]

Thanks for all of your great advice. We do the balloon messages every year on her birthday. I was going to do that from our hotel room, but realized that balloons are not allowed at Animal Kingdom due to safety for the animals.

Sounds like your kids are finding their own organic ways to send and receive love messages from their mom.

No balloons at AK - how about the kids blowing kisses toward a bubble wand the then blowing the bubbles into the universe for Mom to catch?

This is for your MIL