Stupid things you've heard people say

[K-Shong99]

one time in government we were talking about how they wanted to take "under god" out of the pledge.
so my teacher goes, "if we are not one nation under god, what are we under?"
and this idiot in the back goes, "i thought we were under canada..."
*faceplam*

 

[HouseMD1120]

One of my friends asked when the War of 1812 was. I told her 1937. She believed me.

WE were playing catchphrase at school, and I was trying to describe "porkchop." So I said that it comes from a pig. Some people said bacon, others said ham. Same girl as above shouts "It's milk! Duh!"

Some of you might not get all of these unless you're around athletic trainers. vvv

Football player 1: "I don't want to ice my ankle. Its too cold"
Me: "We tried the hot ice once, but it didn't work as well."
Football Player 2: "They MAKE that?!?!"

Another AT to freshman football player who was faking an injury: " I think you strained your ovary."
Football player the next day :'' I spent the whole night stetching my ovary. Can I play today?"

Another AT puts ice in the whirlpool for a cheerleader. Cheerleader says:Is that machine to clean the ice or something?"

 

[DollfieDreams]

Any one who uses the word 'literally' sounds like a retard.

...wait. what?

 

[imabrat]

Any one who uses the word 'literally' sounds like a retard.

Anyone who uses the word "retard" sounds like an incompetent imbecile.


Anyways, pretty much anything you hear that's stupid comes out of my mouth. One of the ones I've never lived down?
"I'm not as smart as I look". I meant "I'm not as dumb as I look".

 

[Vannah]

My English teacher and a couple of students were talking about slaves, and somehow Oprah's name got brought into the conversation. This girl who sits behind me goes, "Oprah was a slave?!?!?!"

 

[Shelton123]

"Politics don't affect me. I don't have cable"

Which line in my siggy should I remove to put that there?

 

[dis lover 1107]

"What is a female rooster called?"

Oh my i have said this *headdesk*

 

[?MARTÍN¿]

There is a girl at my school. Let's call her Brit. She is kind of a little dumb blonde, yet she has brown hair. Here's some of the stuff she said.

"Wait, i thought that Saddam Hussein was black!!!"

"You mean that Germany isn't in Italy?"

"There's a north AND south Carolina?"

Pretty funny, actually

 

[DisneyDougforever]

Ok something I heard that was a bit stupid but wicked funny. So my honors history class this year is American Foreign Policy and we were discussion WWII and we were watching a movie on American/German propaganda and there was the same scene in both movies where hitler and 2 other nazi officals were walking across an clear path, amongst a giant crowd of nazis, (I know not a happy topic). The funny/stupid thing that was said was by the girl who is number 2 in our grade. When my class was watching the scene for the first time, she said "Why didnt they just shot Hitler right then and there?!" My response was, "I dont know Jen, maybe it was because he was surrounded by nazis."

Sorry if it isnt that funny, maybe you had to be there. lol

 

[disneychick2721]

All by my cousin, keep in mind shes a year older than me. :
"Kara do you think they can make soup sandwiches, it wouldnt work with white bread though, I dont mean just soup though like chicken and all that stuff too"
"If there was an earthquake wouldnt you fall into the earth ?"
"Are we comparing the bottom of our foot to a rock?"
& theres more I cant think of at the moment.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

this is just from lunch today :

"and so he wrote on the door redrum" and when she looked in the mirror she saw muder"
"why would she see murder?"
"...spell it backwards"
"OMFG ITS SPELLS MURDER AND..REDRUM..WHOAHHH..."



So im eating a sandwich and this girl is like (no joke)

"OMG that drink is so cool looking"
"...yeah"
"where do you buy those?"
"...at safeway, or any other store"
"seriously?"
"yeah...seriously"
"OMG WHATS THAT"
"bread..."
"where didja get it?"
"...same store i got the friggon juice from.."
"really cause anytime i go to a grocery store they dont have bread"
"....."
"...."

and yeah..

xD
No joke.
EVERY.DAY.

 

[HouseMD1120]

this is just from lunch today :

"and so he wrote on the door redrum" and when she looked in the mirror she saw muder"
"why would she see murder?"
"...spell it backwards"
"OMFG ITS SPELLS MURDER AND..REDRUM..WHOAHHH..."



So im eating a sandwich and this girl is like (no joke)

"OMG that drink is so cool looking"
"...yeah"
"where do you buy those?"
"...at safeway, or any other store"
"seriously?"
"yeah...seriously"
"OMG WHATS THAT"
"bread..."
"where didja get it?"
"...same store i got the friggon juice from.."
"really cause anytime i go to a grocery store they dont have bread"
"....."
"...."

and yeah..

xD
No joke.
EVERY.DAY.

That. Is. Awesome.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Which line in my siggy should I remove to put that there?

It's 'affect' not 'effect'.

this is just from lunch today :

"and so he wrote on the door redrum" and when she looked in the mirror she saw muder"
"why would she see murder?"
"...spell it backwards"
"OMFG ITS SPELLS MURDER AND..REDRUM..WHOAHHH..."



So im eating a sandwich and this girl is like (no joke)

"OMG that drink is so cool looking"
"...yeah"
"where do you buy those?"
"...at safeway, or any other store"
"seriously?"
"yeah...seriously"
"OMG WHATS THAT"
"bread..."
"where didja get it?"
"...same store i got the friggon juice from.."
"really cause anytime i go to a grocery store they dont have bread"
"....."
"...."

and yeah..

xD
No joke.
EVERY.DAY.

Hm. She sounds 'nice'.

....

 

[bananda]

In english i was talking to this guy (who btw is OBSESSED with thee bible--nothing wrong with that except he relates EVERYTHING to it. oh yeah and he likes me) and way we have assigned seats in that class and i sat down and turned toward him and the convo went like this-
(Him= Z, Me=K)

K- Did we have any homework due today?
Z-not but we got a test today
K-Uhh. Holy crap! k thanks
(pull out book to cram for test)
Z- (starts laughing at me!)
K-Something funnny?
Z- i have read the bible before and there is no mention of any crap being holy.
K- OMG!!! (i was reallyyy annoyed!)

i mean really it was an expression i didnt really mean crap was holy.

this girl in my friend's english class once asked:
"was Jesus's crap holy, you know, coz Jesus is holy?"

something to ponder...

 

[Sparx]

i heard this junior girl in the hallway say, "what is this act test? i've never heard of it. do we have to take it? whats on it? whats it even for?"

i wanted to look at her and say, "its to get into college, so don't worry, you don't have to take it."

but i behaved.

 

[HouseMD1120]

i heard this junior girl in the hallway say, "what is this act test? i've never heard of it. do we have to take it? whats on it? whats it even for?"

i wanted to look at her and say, "its to get into college, so don't worry, you don't have to take it."

but i behaved.

How does she not know what that is if shes a junior?!?! I knew what that was when I was in elementary school.

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

Oh my goodness, these are too good !

I will come and post after school. I get some every day.

 

[BandGeek911]

Which line in my siggy should I remove to put that there?

 

[Smiley.Socks]

I was in town once, and I heared these two girls talking about the Movie Evan Almighty.

Girl 1 : I always say Evan, cause it's like, you know.. Heaven. But 'Evan.
Girl 2 : I say Ivan.
Girl 1 : I'm sure mind, it's like Heaven. 'Cause the films about like.. God and stuff.
Girl 2 : I thought Ivan was the the guy with the ship?
Girl 1 : IT'S EVAN!


I thought it was funny..

 

[keegro94]

This was a while back

Girl 1: I heard that if you put nair(nail polish remover) in your hair and tug it will grow longer.

Girl 2: Lets go grab some right now and go try it out at home.




No joke I was just like wow lol.