Student of the month in elementary school... need feedback

[Rock'n Robin]

At the elementary school where DD#2 and DS go (5th and 2nd grade) they have a "student of the month" program. Each month they focus on a specific trait, such as responsibility, honesty, courtesy, etc. If a teacher notices that a kid is demonstrating that attribute they "nominate" them to be a student of the month, and they name about 15-20 kids a month. They all end up having a pizza lunch with the principal.
This is my question...DD#2 has NEVER been student of the month in all of her years at this school. Some kids get it every year. DD#2 is a good kid, never gets in trouble, gets wonderful grades, teachers adore her, always gives the principal hugs when she sees her...but has never been SOTM. Her brother got it last year when he was only in 1st grade and she was pretty miffed. I don't know if she is being caught being honest during responsiblity month or just is such a good kid she is never singled out for this stuff. I swear some kids get it every year. I know because their pictures also get into the local paper every month.
She only has 4 more months at this school and she is off to the junior high. Should I EMail the principal (who loves her) and tell her about this? I'd hate to see her go through 6 years at this school and never being recognized like this. Or should I let it go and hope they have a big list somewhere with kids who have never been nominated and they'll get her before the year is out.
Robin M.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

So would you rather her be "handed" a SOTM just because she hasn't had one? Not flaming, just an opinion.

 

[Wishing on a star]

It sounds like your DD may just happen to be the kind of wonderful child, who keeps a very low profile.

She has had several different teachers through her years there, I assume. But I certainly would not believe that it is some kind of conspiracy that each and every one of them has not happened to notice/choose your DD.

In other words, I doubt that it was the schools, or any on particular teachers, fault....

Sad for your DD... But, the biggest flowers get the most sunshine. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, etc.. etc...

I do not know if I would mention it to the Teacher or Principal or not. Do you have a personal relationship with them???

I certainly would be careful about 'pushing' or 'making demands'.

HUGS to your DD!!!

 

[crz4mm2]

No offense, but you would consider calling the principal and 'asking why' your dd has not received SOTM?
I would not do that.
I have no idea why your dd has not been chosen. It does seem that certain students get more recognition than others. I don't know why. Sometimes it seems like it is not fair.
I would not call and ask for my child to be considered for SOTM (and neither one of my kids were ever chosen either).

It often hurts us as parents more than it does our kids.
Hugs to both of you.
I hope they chose her before the year is over.

 

[Stacerita]

I would not call and ask why. You said yourself how they nominate and go about getting SOTM. There may not be one reason why she hasn't been nominated. It could be that during that month she wasn't noticed doing what that month's trait was. Sometimes good kids are always being good and dont get pointed out since they are always doing right. If she is always responsible, then it may not be noticable to a teacher that she is being responbile during that month. And with kids being nominated more than once makes it seem more real than each student just getting their turn. I doubt there is a list of kids who haven't been nominated to choose from later. Its sad for your DD but thats how it is sometimes. Just because she does a great job doesnt always mean she will be recognized for it. And you calling to get her nominated just doesn't seem right at all. Im not trying to flame you or anything. But because of parents and their well meanings, a lot of things are being taken away from students. Some schools I know of are doing away with the honor roll since it "leaves out" kids who dont cut it. Its unfortunate that your DD hasn't made SOTM, but if you call and get her in, that seems unfair to the other kids.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I wouldn't demand that she get it, or ask why she hasn't, that's not what this is about, I just wonder if they realize that she has never gotten it. I am sure they would be surprised to know that she hasn't since she gets along with everyone, especially the staff. She has had wonderful teachers and they all love her to death. I also know the principal. DD#2 is always giving her hugs when she sees her. I've had kids in the school since we moved to this house in 98 and she's been the principal the whole time.
She demonstrates all of the traits they look for, as I said, I don't know if the teacher notices she's honest and then thinks "oh well, it's courtesy month this month". I know it's not a conspiracy of any kind.
I just was wondering because I was having this discussion with her girl scout troop leader (who has been her leader since kindergarten). The leader's daughter got SOTM this month, and I mentioned that DD has never been one, and she couldn't believe it. That got me to thinking about it.
I probably won't say anything about it. I'm one of the people who does NOT believe that "every one's a winner" and everyone gets a prize, etc. I can't stand that about society these days. But when she is deserving it does bother me. I'll just bite my tongue.
Robin M.

 

[poohandwendy]

Ugh, I would NOT recommend calling the school about this. The only thing I would do is prais your DD for being a great student and leave it at that. Life is not fair...not much you can do about that.

 

[SDFgirl]

No advice, just .

I was also one of the sweet, well-behaved gals in school who kept a lower profile. I hope she understands that it's nothing personal, more like a matter of not being "in the right place at the right time."

She sounds like a terrific kid!

 

[shortbun]

Ugh, I would NOT recommend calling the school about this. The only thing I would do is prais your DD for being a great student and leave it at that. Life is not fair...not much you can do about that.

My bumper sticker says, "All students are honored at XXX Elementary School"
We do not have awards like this. They foster hard feelings. It's impossible to treat all children equally but it's not necessary to make it obvious. My son's classroom has student of the week. All students get a week. Names are drawn from a box and weeks are assigned in the beginning of each year. No hard feelings. Sorry for your DD#2. Life is not fair. This will not be her last lesson in that area I bet.

 

[disykat]

I hated student of the month when I was teaching for this reason. IMO, most teachers dislike these programs and they usually come from parents and administration. We did two a month so I found a reason to nominate almost everyone and kept track in the gradebook so I'd know who hadn't been nominated yet. A pain, especially knowing you are hurting many of the kids feelings if they are comparing themselves to the nominee and wondering why it wasn't them.

If you want to mention it to anyone, casually mention it to the classroom teacher. While it wouldn't insure a nomination, you would at least know she wasn't being overlooked because by 6th grade they assumed she'd already had that honor.

My rule following son never got these awards. My mischievous son gets them all the time. Every time he brings home another certificate I know they're using him as an example to encourage good behavior and start to wonder whether it's him or his buddies that need the encouragement.

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn't call on it. I'd be mad at my mother if I got SOTM and then found out later that I got it because she called. It would take the "sheen" off the award, if you KWIM.

I also disagree with not giving awards to some kids because other kids may get hurt. I hate that "give it to everyone or give it to no one" mentality. In the real world, your kids will be disappointed. Better that they learn to deal with it, develop some coping mechanisms, etc.

 

[minkydog]

No advice, just .

I was also one of the sweet, well-behaved gals in school who kept a lower profile. I hope she understands that it's nothing personal, more like a matter of not being "in the right place at the right time."

She sounds like a terrific kid!

i agree. None of my kids have ever been chosen as student of the month. DS19 did win the Most Valuable Chorus Member award and Funniest Guy in his senior class. But DD12 is one of those easy-going girls who does what she's told, never acts up, doesn't draw attention, your totally average kid. She has never won anything. She's perfectly fine with it(even though it hurts her mother's heart to see her overlooked )

Take a powder, mom. It'll be okay.

 

[janette]

I wouldn't say anything. If you don't she might not ever be SOTM but that isn't that big a deal in the scheme of things. If you do and she does get SOTM you'll always wonder if it was just a reaction to your query.

My oldest DD is a good student but one that rarely gets noticed. Just the kind of person that blends with the crowd, doesn't do anything wrong but not anything out of the ordinary. One of her past teachers had a student of the week award and went the entire year without my DD being that student. She was the only one in the class not given the award at least once during the year, it hurt her feelings and I didn't think much of the teacher for the lapse but I didn't call her on it. I'm not sure my DD even remembers about it now has never liked that teacher either.

My younger DD has been given awards at school, she's not the best student but does get noticed.

My favorite type of award program has been one they called "Caught doing good". It was an immediate award and given at any time the teachers noticed a student doing something praiseworthy. Seems much better than having programs that by their design are ensured to hurt feelings.

 

[LUVDSNY04]

Hi,
I'm a teacher and yes teachers DO Not like these awards either! What I hope for your daughter is that she will receive a special award such as a DAR award or something similiar. My own daughter was a quiet girl but at the end of 5th grade she received the DAR award which was quite an honor. I just wished I could have been at the awards ceremony that day but my neighbors said they clapped hard for her.
I would not call the principal now but after she leaves the school I would tell this principal how hurt your daughter was over this SOM.

Take care

 

[wdwgirl03]

I wouldn't call on it. I'd be mad at my mother if I got SOTM and then found out later that I got it because she called. It would take the "sheen" off the award, if you KWIM.

That's exactly how I would feel.

 

[Colleen456]

If she doesn't get SOTM at school you can always have an awards night at home for all your children.

Make a certificate, plan a special dinner and have them give a speech. Something tells me that getting praise from mom will be a memory that stays with them forever.

 

[janette]

FWIW I asked my DD if she remembers not being the SOTW in 4th grade, she doesn't and it's only been 4yrs so I quess it didn't scar her badly or mean that much after the fact.

 

[barkley]

the same thing happened with "employee of the month" when i was a government supervisor as with "student of the month" when i was a teacher-
the selected were either the low achieving/performing/behaving individuals who had finaly managed to do the minimal effort and were "awarded" to encourage posititve behaviour or it was the high profile (not nesc high performing)/child of the "high profile" parent who were awarded to either stop the employee/parent/child from whining "why have'nt i won it" or to encourage other employees/parents to make the same extracurricular efforts.

as both a teacher and a supervisor i detested making "nominations".

 

[DawnCt1]

DS 24 was nominated for student of the month and he almost got it, but anothe boy, who wasn't quite as deserving had a serious family problem, ( I think it was a parental illness or a divorce, etc) and they gave it to him. So, the bottom line is, SOTM can be given for different reasons and not always for the best reasons. Just hug her and tell her that she is your student of the month every day!

 

[Sleepy]

Back when I was in elementary school (1970's), it was called "good citizenship". Everyone who behaved themselves during the month was given a certificate and at the end of the month was allowed to view a movie in the cafeteria. Usually it was one of the Herbie movies or another Disney movie.

I also disagree with singling out a student. There are far too many kids in a school who behave and are respectful of others.