Struggling with my guilt. Help!

[sarcasticfiesta]

Ok, so here's my situation. I have been feeling major guilt about my upcoming trip to the World. My DBF and I decided we would take a trip to Disney without our children (three boys 3,4, &5, one is mine, two are his) because 1) He's never been and he wants to really enjoy himself and take in the sights at least once before we go with the kids, and 2) Two of our three children are in school when we are going. We got such a great deal with free dining and I've always wanted to go during the Christmas season, so we took advantage. However, now the guilt in beginning to sink in. Every time we tell someone our plans they make us feel like horrible parents. "How could you possibly go to Disney World without your three children?!" Here's the thing though, we have another trip planned in May to take all three boys on their very first trip to Disney. Is this wrong? Am I really being a horrible parent? Sure my child's never been to Disney before, but I wanted to wait until he was at an age where he could truely enjoy it. Help!

 

[disneydreamersx4]

I can understand your reason for going without the kids especially since you will be taking the kids in May. Try not to listen to those who are trying to rain on your parade

 

[Nancy for Disney]

Look at my ticker. You are not the only one. No I don't feel guilty and you shouldn' either. At least your kids don't know what they are missing yet.

 

[Uno Mas]

Just ignore those negative comments! Tell them you are going to do "recon" so that you can make their first visit the best it can possibly be in May. I think your DBF has the right idea by doing it this way - he'll get to enjoy his own first trip, experience everything, and then be prepared for how to tackle it with three boys in May. Sounds like you will have a fantastic trip - assuage your guilt by bringing back lots of fun souvenirs!

 

[Judy in Texas]

This of this as a reconnaissance trip. The two of you get to explore, enjoy, at your own pace... and come up with a plan for the May trip.

Do all the things you won't be able to do with the kids. Soarin' is a must and you won't be able to do it with the kids - they're too short. I feel so sorry for the people sitting outside it on the benches waiting for the rest of their party who are inside having a blast. Ride it 5 times! Take the Keys to the Kingdom tour which is for adults only. See how the other parents are handling their kids. Come 10:30 AM, there are hords of crying kids all over the place. What will your plan be for your May trip when your kids get cranky? You will be able to go in the gift shops without all the kids thinking the bank is open and it's time to get another new toy. For your May trip, you be able to walk right by those shops and not worry about the kids crying over something else they can't live without.

Guilt is something you do to yourself. Don't accept it. Tell all those who are judging you that it's a Recon trip...

 

[Judy in Texas]

That's two votes for a Recon trip! Sounds like a plan.

 

[sarcasticfiesta]

Thanks so much you guys. Just reading this made me feel so much better about it. I've been telling myself these things all along, but it's hard to explain to people who think Disney is just for kids. I love my child and his children and I'm totally excited (and nervous) about bringing them for their first trip, but I'm also excited about bringing my DBF for his first trip too. I want him to be able to experience it for the first time like he never got to when he was a kid. Thanks for the great advice. It's feels good to know that there are other parents out there who leave the kids behind every now and then to discover the magic for themselves.

 

[Judy in Texas]

Recommendation for an adult first timer... Go to Magic Kingdom first. Be there at least 15 minutes prior to rope drop so you can see the steam train arrive with the characters, music, hoop-la! Once inside, savor the view up Main Street toward the castle. Disney is truly for the kid in all adults.

 

[tinkergrumpybuns]

Hi, I would not feel guilty at all. Look at it this way, the kids are a little young to really enjoy the full experience and you really need to go and see everything to know what kids would have issues with what attractions. Some are ready for Big Thunder Mtn as soon as they are tall enough, others will be in their 40s'.
I agree, Look at it as a planning trip and there is absolutely no reason 2 adults can not take time for themselves before the kids come along. Enjoy, if you feel guilty, set aside time during your trip to make notes of things each kid would like in a little notebook.

 

[4disneyfreakazoids]

Have fun! My husband & I went before we had kids & this is our first time going without kids (ds-6 dd-3). We can't wait!!!! Like someone else said, having relaxed, happy parents is the best thing for kids!

 

[honeydiane1953]

Ok, so here's my situation. I have been feeling major guilt about my upcoming trip to the World. My DBF and I decided we would take a trip to Disney without our children (three boys 3,4, &5, one is mine, two are his) because 1) He's never been and he wants to really enjoy himself and take in the sights at least once before we go with the kids, and 2) Two of our three children are in school when we are going. We got such a great deal with free dining and I've always wanted to go during the Christmas season, so we took advantage. However, now the guilt in beginning to sink in. Every time we tell someone our plans they make us feel like horrible parents. "How could you possibly go to Disney World without your three children?!" Here's the thing though, we have another trip planned in May to take all three boys on their very first trip to Disney. Is this wrong? Am I really being a horrible parent? Sure my child's never been to Disney before, but I wanted to wait until he was at an age where he could truely enjoy it. Help!

you would have a better time going solo. noone to rush noone to slow noone to try to keep in tow. no stuff to carry, take time to tarry. other folks would LOVE to go without their kids. i am going solo in dec. and who cares what others think.

 

[nurse.darcy]

First off, I just tell the naysayers that I am obsessed with Disney and sorry that they can't handle it. Or I remind them how many trips to Cabo they take without the kids (just an Example of course). Then I promptly ignore them and go back to happy planning.

Now, for what you can do as adults at the world. . .

1. Your kids are small. . .ride all the big rides this trip cause you will probably skip them with the kids. Expedition Everest, Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Soarin, Test Track, Mission Space, Dinosaur, Rock n Roller Coaster, Tower of Terror, etc.

2. Check out all the small rides that they can ride and decide now what they would like and what would freak them out.

3. Enjoy your TS meals at a leisurely pace. You got free dining so take advantage.

4. Enjoy Adult Beverages at all parks except Magic Kingdom (its a dry park).

5. Shop and drink around the world at Epcot. Most young kids are bored with Epcot after only a couple hours.

6. Enjoy rope drop at each of the parks if you have the time. . .the pre-shows are great.

7. Watch the shows. . .some would be fun with kids, others don't have enough going on to entertain the little ones.

8. Explore your resort. Swim, have a poolside beverage. . .if you are in a moderate or deluxe use the hot tub.

9. Since you are going during the holidays go to each resort and check out the christmas decorations. . .beautiful.

10. Best of all. . .relax and have a wonderful trip.

 

[Googelibear]

Ok, so here's my situation. I have been feeling major guilt about my upcoming trip to the World. My DBF and I decided we would take a trip to Disney without our children (three boys 3,4, &5, one is mine, two are his) because 1) He's never been and he wants to really enjoy himself and take in the sights at least once before we go with the kids, and 2) Two of our three children are in school when we are going. We got such a great deal with free dining and I've always wanted to go during the Christmas season, so we took advantage. However, now the guilt in beginning to sink in. Every time we tell someone our plans they make us feel like horrible parents. "How could you possibly go to Disney World without your three children?!" Here's the thing though, we have another trip planned in May to take all three boys on their very first trip to Disney. Is this wrong? Am I really being a horrible parent? Sure my child's never been to Disney before, but I wanted to wait until he was at an age where he could truely enjoy it. Help!

Since when do we owe kids a vacation?
Let's be real here. They are entitled to our love, bread and butter, shoes, clothes and hugs. No where does anyone require us to give kids a trip anywhere.
Going to Disney by yourselves is the most fun you'll ever have. Do it and please don't listen to anyone who's trying to guilt you into taking the munchkins

oh by the way, DH and I are going for the second time this year to WDW without the boyzzzzzzzzz. Yeeeehaw

 

[sarcasticfiesta]

Reading all these comments is making me so much more excited about my trip. My guilt was holding me back before, but now I'm in full planning mode . My DBF is super excited to be going on his first trip to the World at Christmas time. I really want to make this special for him because he's always been very supportive of my obsession with Disney. He's the only person who doesn't tease me for it. I think it's pretty safe to say that once he experiences all the magic, he'll be hooked too.

 

[joesemo]

If the children are going in May then I would not feel guilty.

You can see a lot more quicker without the three youngin's

This will give you a chance to really see all that disney has to offer and you should takes notes as you go along to see what might be best for the children and the two of you won't feel that you missed something when you go back.

Think of it as a research mission to make the experience better for the kids when you do go down.

It is hard to be organized with this size group, so keep an eye on how other families get it done, or even better, how they don't get it done, if you know what I mean.

If you have been to Disney before, and then bring children later, you really get a chance to see the park thru their eyes instead of your own, and this in turn is where I think the most joy can be had.

Have Fun

 

[2binak]

Your relationship as a couple is just as important as your relationship with your kids. You need some alone time and if that means a trip to Disney to enjoy it as adults, then so be it! Go, enjoy, have fun!!!!!!!!!

 

[DisneyFairytale]

Ok, so here's my situation. I have been feeling major guilt about my upcoming trip to the World. My DBF and I decided we would take a trip to Disney without our children (three boys 3,4, &5, one is mine, two are his) because 1) He's never been and he wants to really enjoy himself and take in the sights at least once before we go with the kids, and 2) Two of our three children are in school when we are going. We got such a great deal with free dining and I've always wanted to go during the Christmas season, so we took advantage. However, now the guilt in beginning to sink in. Every time we tell someone our plans they make us feel like horrible parents. "How could you possibly go to Disney World without your three children?!" Here's the thing though, we have another trip planned in May to take all three boys on their very first trip to Disney. Is this wrong? Am I really being a horrible parent? Sure my child's never been to Disney before, but I wanted to wait until he was at an age where he could truely enjoy it. Help!

I can see where you're coming from. Sometimes as an adult, you do so much for your family and kids that you need to take a time out for yourself. I think this is your time out. Don't look into what people say because they don't actually know what is going on in your life.

Enjoy your trip and take a lot of photos! will be expecting a trip report

 

[pookybean]

i am going with no kids in 17 days, i know most people say to tell the kids but ive kept my trip a secret (my dd 9 is my disney partner, i think it would truly break her heart!) and i want to go for all the reasons already mentioned.

whenever i tell people im going away solo, they think its great until i tell them where im going. first its "again"? and then "why there with no kids"? i love disney, it makes me happy...and i am celebrating me! my dh and i seperated almost a year ago, i still go through my moments but i have more good days than bad. why not go where i know i will be the happiest, not where i will have to lay on a beach and think?

but we are going in june as a family too!

have a great time, parents deserve disney just as much as the kids!

 

[DisneyFairytale]

i am going with no kids in 17 days, i know most people say to tell the kids but ive kept my trip a secret (my dd 9 is my disney partner, i think it would truly break her heart!) and i want to go for all the reasons already mentioned.

whenever i tell people im going away solo, they think its great until i tell them where im going. first its "again"? and then "why there with no kids"? i love disney, it makes me happy...and i am celebrating me! my dh and i seperated almost a year ago, i still go through my moments but i have more good days than bad. why not go where i know i will be the happiest, not where i will have to lay on a beach and think?

but we are going in june as a family too!

have a great time, parents deserve disney just as much as the kids!

As a kid I was completely spoiled and for 2 years, spent 4-7 days in Disneyland(we were homeschooled). As an adult now, I will save my vacation money for my Disney trips. Everytime I change my facebook status to "off to Disneyland"(which realistically is 2-3 times a year), I always get the again! from absolutely everyone.
Those who aren't Disney fans, just don't understand

 

[sarcasticfiesta]

i am going with no kids in 17 days, i know most people say to tell the kids but ive kept my trip a secret (my dd 9 is my disney partner, i think it would truly break her heart!) and i want to go for all the reasons already mentioned.

whenever i tell people im going away solo, they think its great until i tell them where im going. first its "again"? and then "why there with no kids"? i love disney, it makes me happy...and i am celebrating me! my dh and i seperated almost a year ago, i still go through my moments but i have more good days than bad. why not go where i know i will be the happiest, not where i will have to lay on a beach and think?

but we are going in june as a family too!

have a great time, parents deserve disney just as much as the kids!

You certainly deserve it. I know how hard divorce can be. That's partly why this trip is so special and important to me. Before my current relationship, I was in a really bad marriage. I'm so happy with my partner and my life right now, I want to celebrate. All of my time and energy is devoted to my child. I think that's why I feel so guilty because I'm so used to putting him first. I guess we all just have to learn to love and put ourselves first every once in a while. Divorce is never easy, but there is hope after.