I have a good friend whose son (now 14) has Aspergers. He also had trouble making friends, and tended to play with kids much younger. Her boy was very bright, and she pushed to get whatever help he needed. She is a single mom, and eventually was making enough money to afford a private school for kids with learning disabilities. The teachers are experts in dealing with the kids, and suddenly he was surrounded by kids just like him! He quickly made friends and has a couple close buddies.
Here's what I think she did right:
1. She looked into every avenue with the school, social services, insurance, whatever, to help her son.
2. She encouraged him in developing his gifts (the kid is brilliant!) as well as the areas he struggles with (he was physically very clumsy and not good at sports.) They tried a few sports until they found one that he liked and was actually good at, and which helped develop his physical skills. I think maybe it was gymnastics?
3. She gave him a very safe, very structured home life. No matter what chaos was going on in her life (divorce, moves, losing her job, failed romances), she stuck to their routine, helped him when things needed to change (they moved across the country) and kept his life as stable as possible.
Can you look into support groups for parents of ASD kids? There must be online resources, I'm sure the information is out there. In my opinion, the best resources are the other parents who've been there. They'll know about good programs, tips and tricks, and so on.
Oh, and one more thing I wanted to mention. I heard about a kid who was getting teased at school about some sort of disability. (I don't remember what it was now.) So his mom and teacher arranged for the mom to come to school and talk to the kids about "Johnny's" disability, explaining it to them, why he does/doesn't do certain things, and what kinds of things are helpful to him. She also answered questions from the kids. After that the kids in his class were not only
not teasing, they were very helpful, and helped him with other kids in the school. EVERYONE knew who he was, and was his friend and helper after that. What an awesome idea, and what an awesome mom! I know this solution is not ideal for every kid or every situation, but I think it could be a great learning experience for the kids.
Good luck to you, I hope things get better soon!
