Strange dinner invite

[Sweetpancake]

I received a rather formal email from my boyfriend's sister today inviting us to her fondue party on the weekend. It went on to say "I'm asking you to bring...." and then she listed myself, my boyfriend and her parents, telling us what we were bringing to HER fondue party. Of course, lucky, lucky me, I got saddled with the meat, by far the most expensive. She said they're taking care of the vegetables and bread. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend, but he said he would bring the meat and the cheese. I'm not bothered because I have to bring something but I guess what bothers me is the way it was asked. I am entirely the person who always asks if I can bring anything when I'm invited over and I really don't mind contributing but to be told you're bringing "fill in the blank" to someone else's party that THEY invited you to seems a little rude.

I could entirely understand if it was a large group, like the entire family (which it is not) that everyone bring something to eat but there's only a few of us.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I received a rather formal email from my boyfriend's sister today inviting us to her fondue party on the weekend. It went on to say "I'm asking you to bring...." and then she listed myself, my boyfriend and her parents, telling us what we were bringing to HER fondue party. Of course, lucky, lucky me, I got saddled with the meat, by far the most expensive. She said they're taking care of the vegetables and bread. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend, but he said he would bring the meat and the cheese. I'm not bothered because I have to bring something but I guess what bothers me is the way it was asked. I am entirely the person who always asks if I can bring anything when I'm invited over and I really don't mind contributing but to be told you're bringing "fill in the blank" to someone else's party that THEY invited you to seems a little rude.

I could entirely understand if it was a large group, like the entire family (which it is not) that everyone bring something to eat but there's only a few of us.

Wow...Could this end up being a SIL? Sounds like trouble ahead unless you just brush it off & accept her for who she is Not agreeing with her "style" but doubt it will change

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I received a rather formal email from my boyfriend's sister today inviting us to her fondue party on the weekend. It went on to say "I'm asking you to bring...." and then she listed myself, my boyfriend and her parents, telling us what we were bringing to HER fondue party. Of course, lucky, lucky me, I got saddled with the meat, by far the most expensive. She said they're taking care of the vegetables and bread. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend, but he said he would bring the meat and the cheese. I'm not bothered because I have to bring something but I guess what bothers me is the way it was asked. I am entirely the person who always asks if I can bring anything when I'm invited over and I really don't mind contributing but to be told you're bringing "fill in the blank" to someone else's party that THEY invited you to seems a little rude.

I could entirely understand if it was a large group, like the entire family (which it is not) that everyone bring something to eat but there's only a few of us.

If you want to look at it in a more positive light - they have included you in the family.

Since the e-mail was only sent to your BF, the parents and you, it sounds like this is standard family procedure - that the family chips in at each other's parties. Our family does this all the time. Somebody has a party and siblings and parents chip in to help if we are going. The rest of the guests are guests, but family is family. But then, we are a very informal and close family.

Before you say anything to your boyfriend, I would become more familiar with his family dynamics.

And you did say that he offered to bring the meat?

 

[Mimi1965]

We were once asked to a large fish fry by my SIL's best friend.
Everyone who got an invite was asked to bring something substantial- for me it was a plate of sliced cold cuts

It was a huge outside affair and she ended up with a large table of other foods that everyone brought-because lots of people dont eat fish

It was fun and we had a good time-but when i first got the request I was like "huh"?

 

[disneykidatheart]

Sounds like a baby shower I was invited to that required the giver to include the receipt for the gift. I declined attendance.

I totally get your point and would feel the same way. I wonder how she would feel about a can of cheez whiz and a pack of balogna?

 

[buckler]

If my husband had a brother that wasn't married, I'd think you were talking about my SIL.

Tighten your seatbelt. You're in for a bumpy ride if she winds up your future SIL. Be prepared to get obviously regifted useless presents from her someday while you give her thoughtful personal gifts.

 

[C.Ann]

That's odd - for such a small gathering.. Are they having financial difficulties? Maybe the request for the "meat" was directed at your boyfriend, not you.. I guess I would ask him if this is standard practice for his family before I made too much out of it..

 

[LuvLDM]

If you want to look at it in a more positive light - they have included you in the family.

Since the e-mail was only sent to your BF, the parents and you, it sounds like this is standard family procedure - that the family chips in at each other's parties. Our family does this all the time. Somebody has a party and siblings and parents chip in to help if we are going. The rest of the guests are guests, but family is family. But then, we are a very informal and close family.

Before you say anything to your boyfriend, I would become more familiar with his family dynamics.

And you did say that he offered to bring the meat?

I tend to agree. How long have you been dating? Perhaps this is just how his family "does" family gatherings?
I do agree it appears rude but I would give the sister a chance.

 

[shortbun]

Can you just laugh it off? I'd try that.

 

[Sweetpancake]

That's odd - for such a small gathering.. Are they having financial difficulties? Maybe the request for the "meat" was directed at your boyfriend, not you.. I guess I would ask him if this is standard practice for his family before I made too much out of it..

Some of your responses are so funny,hehe

No, they're doing financially very well! And my name was right next to "meat," my boyfriend has to bring the cheese

This IS the first time this has happened, though we've only gone over for dinner maybe twice in the past 2 and a half years. But she came over to my place for dinner once and I made her a quiche because she's a vegetarian. Well, she went on and on about how eggs make her sick, even though my boyfriend said she had eaten them on many occasions without getting sick.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

For me...informations is missing.

I have been invited to covered dish gatherings that are by no means large. But everyone "shares" in putting on the event. I'm not bothered because it is understood. Since it is a family gathering, it does make me think that maybe that is just how they do things.

She's offering the venue and the equipment and some of the ingredients.

I just can't apply whatever present etiquette is for dinner parties without knowing if perhaps what you perceive is rudeness had other intent and your expectations were not met because you expected something different than what was intended.

 

[C.Ann]

Some of your responses are so funny,hehe

No, they're doing financially very well! And my name was right next to "meat," my boyfriend has to bring the cheese

This IS the first time this has happened, though we've only gone over for dinner maybe twice in the past 2 and a half years. But she came over to my place for dinner once and I made her a quiche because she's a vegetarian. Well, she went on and on about how eggs make her sick, even though my boyfriend said she had eaten them on many occasions without getting sick.

Alrighty then...

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

If she's a vegetarian, it doesn't really seem that odd that she wouldn't want to supply the meat.

 

[WhateverLolaWants]

May I introduce you to your future?

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/11/26/awkward-family-story-the-thanksgiving-letter/

 

[Sweetpancake]

If she's a vegetarian, it doesn't really seem that odd that she wouldn't want to supply the meat.

Her husband eats meat and she cooks it. In fact, I did once have ribs at her place. Strange, I know!

Lisa Luvs Pooh, I guess the thing is, as I've mentioned, I don't mind everyone chipping in and bringing a dish. My boyfriend's family just had a very large gathering and we did exactly that. But her invite wasn't kindly asking us to bring something. She decided she was going to have a fondue party, and then told us exactly what we were bringing. This isn't a "usual" thing with his family.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Eh... just go with the flow and have fun. Maybe she thinks people will have more fun if they're participating... I love fondue. I'm a little jealous.

 

[a1tinkfans]

This is too funny...at least thats how I would HAVE to see this situation....
otherwise I'd say she is
rude, terribly mannered and lacks social graces.........
so instead:
A brings Meat
B brings Cheese
C brings dessert

whats next....D: clean up duty?

Go, have fun, but thats ONE weird way to invite someone........ IMHO

 

[Pigeon]

I hate this sort of thing. If you are throwing the party, throw the party.

I have a SIL who does this. One time, we were instructed to buy a case of red wine of a specific vintage that would have cost over $400. Dh usually has a single glass of wine and I don't drink at all.

Another time she told me to bring what were essentially scalloped potatoes for 28 people, and she told me to triple a specific recipe out of a certain cookbook. This was one of those dirty every pot in the house recipes that called for expensive, exotic cheeses, took forever to make. It took all day to make and was indistinguishable from my basic scalloped potato dish.

 

[stsomewhere]

My sis invited my family over for dinner since my dad was in town for dinner. When I asked her if I could bring something she said.....you can pay for half the dinner. I asked her if she was going to pay half of the cost of the BBQ I was throwing a few days later. I brought a bottle of premade margaritas to go with the Mexican take out she ordered with a buy a family pack, get one free coupon. I know that she would of charged me full price.

 

[kirstenb1]

Jacked up. If you can't afford to provide dinner, don't, no biggie. Just invite people over for dessert and coffee, or whatever you can afford. Your future SIL sounds like a peach.

In our family, we always ask what side dish or dessert we can bring. No one is ever assigned anything.