Strange comment/vibe from DD's Music Teacher.

[CapeCodTenor]

What ktpool said, RUN! I would go to the principal and report this. This is not normal behavior. You have every right to be worried.

 

[Mom2Ashli]

I am shocked that he made the comments in front of an adult.

I totally agree with the others. I would be talking to the Principal about his comment. That would have creeped me out also.

And I would talk to my DD about how what he said to her was not right and he should NEVER talk to her like that and if he does she needs to let you know.

 

[laura001]

I would do more than run, I only wish you the best and hope that all goes well when you approach the school about this. I don't think you are paranoid at all, he was way out of line.

 

[nliedel]

I am paranoid. I was abused as a child by a babysitter and will not discuss this more than that. The bottom line is please say something and risk looking like a fool than not saying something and labeling yourself as a fool for life if something happens. No adult should be noticing how a kids legs look. To notice they are cute? Well at the risk of sounding like every other parent if someone tells me my boys are cute all I can do is agree (they are by golly) but if someone used the word "attractive" I would be concerned. This was probably a comment that was meant to be nice but why take the chance?

 

[Stacey2grls]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am so glad that I am not going nuts! I just came home from my meeting with the principal. When I told him about the Music teachers comment he shrugged it off at first, saying that Mr. R. is a very good teacher, wouldn't hurt a fly, has been a teacher here for 12 years, and that no one has ever had a problem with him in this reguard. But, when I told him the story again, he changed his tune. He said he would speak to him and keep an eye out for any inappropiate behavior, and that he will see to it that someone is there with my daughters class when she has music. I hope this works, and that my DD's music teacher knows that he is being watched. I have a meeting today after school with my daughters teacher so she is aware of the situation. I also grilled my daughter again this morning, and she looked at me like I was from outter space! She said that he never touched her and that he is always nice to her. I really hope this ends here. Thank you again to everyone for your advice and replies.

 

[Michie]

Why didn't you say something to the music teacher when he made that comment? I would have told him right then and there that those kind of comments did not mesh with me

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

In any event, you did the right thing. Maybe after this guy is given a talking to, he will realize that even if he meant no harm, you do NOT going around making observations like that. What a bizarre thing to say.

 

[horseshowmom]

Ewww~ what normal adult notices a 2nd graders long,lovely legs I would have definitely been creeped out.

Oh yeah, big time!

 

[horseshowmom]

Why didn't you say something to the music teacher when he made that comment? I would have told him right then and there that those kind of comments did not mesh with me

I'm sure she was just so taken off guard that she was speechless.

I can't imagine anybody having that much audacity - to tell a parent that her child had the longest and loveliest legs he'd ever seen on on a second grader. Apparently, he spends time looking at second graders' legs on a regular basis.

The principal should have also been shocked. I mean, really, would he have made a comment like that (or even thought of it)? Normal adult males sure wouldn't.

 

[mtblujeans]

Let me ask, if a music teacher were to note your DD has long legs and looks like she is on her way to being a tall girl....would that be different?

 

[dis ms.]

Let me ask, if a music teacher were to note your DD has long legs and looks like she is on her way to being a tall girl....would that be different?

What creeped me out was that he said "nice" legs. Depending on how he said it, it might not have been so creepy to make the above comment. Still, as a guitar teacher, her legs should not be his concern. Fingers, yes. Legs,

And to the poster questioning why the OP didn't immediately say something to the teacher, I think she was probably too stunned. It's easy to look back and say what we would have done or said. Who really knows, though? I think I would have been flabbergasted!

 

[TinkerBess_SnowTori]

If he were making a comment how how tall she was - it would be a whole different story - it is the "nice" and "lovely" comments that add the creepy element

When I was in the 4th grade our music teacher told me I had nice long arms - I remember thinking I must look like a gorilla in his eyes - I told my mom who didn't like it - turned out he was thinking I should try playing the trombone!

Good luck - you did the right thing - just keep your guard up

 

[California Girl]

just to play devil's advocate, why if he were a pervert would he say something to the mom. wouldn't that be a dead give away? maybe he felt since he's teaching second graders, it was an innocent thing to say. heck, maybe he saw it as a compliment. maybe he was trying to be a nice guy and get along with the parents. if it were the gym teacher it's okay, but not the music teacher. what about the nurse.

 

[grlpwrd]

just to play devil's advocate, why if he were a pervert would he say something to the mom. wouldn't that be a dead give away? maybe he felt since he's teaching second graders, it was an innocent thing to say. heck, maybe he saw it as a compliment. maybe he was trying to be a nice guy and get along with the parents. if it were the gym teacher it's okay, but not the music teacher. what about the nurse.

I can see that... and that maybe we're too politically correct sometimes because I'm sure if it was a woman saying it than there probably would not be as much uproar.

I'm still skeeved out that his comments were sexualizing a 2nd grader, though.

 

[Missy1961]

just to play devil's advocate, why if he were a pervert would he say something to the mom. wouldn't that be a dead give away? maybe he felt since he's teaching second graders, it was an innocent thing to say. heck, maybe he saw it as a compliment. maybe he was trying to be a nice guy and get along with the parents. if it were the gym teacher it's okay, but not the music teacher. what about the nurse.

I see where you're coming from, and maybe you're right. But at the very least, he needs to know that's not something to discuss with the mother of a second grader. Just say "she's a nice kid".

 

[California Girl]

i just sorta feel like maybe this guy is one of those who tries a bit too hard. i've met a lot of elementary teachers who were, shall we say, eccentric, over the top, you know, trying to be real positive. my kids had a second grade teacher who was like that. i couldn't stand to be in the same room as her for more than five minutes...all that energy. made me nervous. but the kids adored her. i've also known a lot of music people who are likewise, who use words like lovely and beautiful and sweet and in an artistic sense notice things like that. some parents want that for their kids. in this case, for the parent's well being, i'm glad she said something. on the other hand, the child had never felt that the teacher had ever made her feel uneasy. so now, the principal approaches the teacher and the teacher becomes paranoid about complimenting kids, or worse, begins to withhold compliments for this student's talent out of fear, and stops encouraging her accomplishments...it's just tough to know what's the right thing from the teacher's perspective.

 

[Nancy]

Let me ask, if a music teacher were to note your DD has long legs and looks like she is on her way to being a tall girl....would that be different?

I think there is a difference based in how it is said. being told she has long "lovely" legs is different than being told...wow she has long legs I bet shes gonna be tall.
In 6th grade a teacher told me that DD #2 had long legs...then proceeded to tell me he was the track coach at the highschool and he wondered if she ran because with legs as long as hers she would probably be really good at it. That didn't bother me, but if he said...I've been looking at your daughters legs and they are really long and gorgeous...well that would freak me out!

BTW She did start running in her freshman year...and she was good at it! Made the varsity team, came close to breaking a school record...So he was right!

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I would also be freaked out by that comment.

If you feel any discomfort please report it to the principal. I see you live on LI but I don't know where. Just this summer a teacher from my town was arrested because of child molestation. Scary thing, many of the fellow teachers knew and said nothing! That is a very disturbing thought. Please at least make note of it with the principal. I don't want to see what happened to the students here happen to your daughter.

 

[SamIAm21]

It's not being paranoid, it's being safe. Did you see Oprah about the teenager who was lured into internet porn due to a web cam? Long story short, he was abused by adults for years over the net. He had an adult with him on Oprah (I didn't ever catch who the adult was), but he said the adults who frequent these porn sites were very often people with regular access to kids. A few he mentioned were: Pediatricians, teachers, lawyers who represent children, counselors etc. That really bothered me-that people who work with kids would be looking for child porn.

So I would be worried about the comments if it was me. That is a really weird, creepy thing to say.

Here's something my uncle, the former Chicago Police Officer told me when I was younger. Pedophiles do not become Lumberjacks. Translation: They do not move deep into the forest and away from kids. They put themselves in a position of trust and authority around children. The people you think you should trust the most (scout leaders, teachers, priests, care providers, etc.) are the people you should trust the least. What that teacher said about your daughter was completely and wholly inappropriate and honestly, who thinks that way about a 7 y/o?? The last thing I notice on a child is their physique. That comment must be reported to the proper authority immediately. If nothing else, he will know better than to say something so stupid in the future!!

 

[budbeerlady]

You are not being paranoid and that is an entirely inappropriate and disturbing comment.

I would run, not walk, to my 2nd grader's teacher in the morning and tell her (or him) in no uncertain terms that my daughter is never to be left alone with the music teacher. I would tell the prinicipal the same thing!

I understand the fear of repercussions of reporting the incident, but I would be more afraid of what would happen if I didn't!

I feel so bad for you, what a horrible position to be in! Time for another reinforcing talk with your daughter about privacy boundaries and appropriate adult behavior

I agree totally!!!!