Still Feeding Nebo: The may trip final chapter pg 122, Dec. 31

[winkers]

Ok, ok, I did almost have an accident, but nothing to do with sparklers , though.

:

Ok, you have to tell now!!!! I'm slightly depressed and I need a laugh!

 

[nebo]

Uhoh! I wonder if he had a sparkler accident on the 4th? He is rather impaired when it comes to walking, so combined with something on fire he may have had an accident

Hmm, I guess my reputation precedes me.
Sorry, My MIA didn't have anything to do with that. I just had to work later than I shouldve, and didn't feel too good the next couple days. As far as the "accident"?, that didn't happen?
Nope, you don't want to go there.
See above, didn't feel real good.

However!

Since you mentioned fireworks accidents on the fourth, that did bring something to mind though.
Just pull up a chair, poor yourself a cold one, your Ol' Uncle Nebo has a "story" to share with you.

let's see if I can breviate this somehow.
We used to have 4th parties at our old house in Algonquin. And I went out of my way setting up fireworks show. No, nothing big, but I knew how to make the most of whatever I had.
Yes, by us they are illegal.

Shhh.

I finally got tired of spending the money, and it stoppped.
Yes, getting divorced might have had a little bit to do with that, also.

Last year, a friend of mine said he bought a bunch of stuff in Indiana, and wants to have a party and wants my help in setting it up.

"Me?"
"Really?"
"Aw, go onnn."

I was jumping up and down inside to be a part of this again. Like I said, I'm still just a big kid.

Then I thought about his yard.

Uh uh. Nope, too small. I told him that, especially with 40 people coming. Plus, he has a lot of crisscrossing wires, right overhead.
Not good.

On the verge of being fired, I acquiessed. (go ahead Diane, see if the spelling is close)

Two nights before, I came over there and showed him how to use hobby rocket fuse to string up six or so fountains in a row. We set up a lot of mini displays ahead of time, all you have to do is light one end and then go sit down.

And I tried to tell him to get rid of the skyrockets and the mortars.
For one thing, when things go wrong with them, they go REALLY wrong, plus, they are like bread crumbs leading the cops to your house.

ANd I told him NEVER! light off two mortars, from the same sheet of plywood.

The show went just great for a while, but people are sitting way too close. I didn't like it.

After all my pre setups were shot off, well, there was too much still left.
Too much skyrockets and mortars, and too much drunks.

And they all got involved.
Nope, not good. I tried to point out the error of their ways, but now I'm being the "wuss". At that point, I washed my hands of it, and moved Diane's chair to the back of the group. Then, I sat right in front.

The very first skyrocket found the overhead wires. Detonated right above them, which was way too low, and everybody thought it was cool.

Geesh

Some made it through, some didn't. Everywhere you looked there were people slapping their arms and legs from falling sparks.

Then, they found the mortars. Mortars are these balls with wicks hanging from them, that you drop in a tube that hopefully is mounted securely to a base, that is hopfully sitting flat on a piece of concrete or plywood.

Two guys get up and start dropping the balls in the tubes, trying to time them to go off at the same time.

While another guy next to them is dropping skyrockets into a pipe, also trying to time them all together.

Then.
Then I noticed. Holy Crap! They have the same piece of wood for both mortars!!

I warned him about doing this.

I immediately jumped out of my chair and put it right in front of Smidgies. And sat back down.

"Kurt! "YOU Can't light them off the same SHEET OF WOOD!"

All 3 ignited at the same time, just perfect.
"OHHH, AAAAHhh"

Meanwhile, I"m trying to make my case but I'm just increasing in "wussdom".

SO, they do it again.
It's pitch black out here , otherwise, cept for a small campfire in the back.

Ok, this time it happens.

Wanna guess who it happens to?

They light the two mortars and the skyrocket, things explode from the ground into the air,,,,

And something hits me in the chest like a ninety mile an hour fast ball that I wasn't expecting.

It blew me backward off the lawn chair, I took down Diane, on an angle from me, and went straight back into Jeremy, my son sitting right behind me.
Knocked him over too.

It didn't knock me out, but I couldn't breathe. And the worst thing was,,,

I thought "What if it's the skyrocket that is now embedded in my chest?"
"And in 3 more seconds is going to explode, like it does in the sky?"

It was a mortar.
YOu see, when the first mortar goes off, it makes such a repercussion that the whole piece of plywood jumps up in the air.
Which then knocks over the second mortar tube. Which now aims for wherever it feels like.

This one turned into the "Grand Phoenix" , Nebo seeking missile.

While I was wondering if there was now a pointy, cone nosed skyrocket about to explode in my chest, the mortar ball actually blasted me in the chest, the ricocheted two yards over and exploded under a swing set.

After about 15 minutes of "YOU ALL RIGHT?" I found where he hid the whiskey.
At least I stopped the insanity for awhile.

The next few days I had a huge bruise right over my heart, and I don't bruise!

To this day, Jeremy still thanks me.
"Pops". "You took a mortar for me."

"Anytime son."

Ok, guess I can't abbreviate too well. And I didn't even get to the part where once I was walking around again, Kurt came over and said, "Hey, man, you broke my chair!" Nope, not gonna tell you what came next.

Sorry, when I digress, I do it big time.


We left Pat O'brians, and right outside the door, are a few securtity guys with a few cops with the three stooges.
Over on the side is another cop with "man of the hour".

Red shirt jerk is still bleeding like a pig, weaving back and forth, but the cops don't care. They are just firing one question after another at him. As we are walking past, and employee yelled over, "Hey, that guy was right there, he saw it all, ask him."

um, thanks, employee.

I really don't want to be a "sole" witness to this. Especially since I never really saw what went on over by the side table. And I certainly don't want to have to wait around to give my "statement" or worse, follow them to a cop shop.

Now, I have already done this twice inside, and I don't want to "play" anymore.

Hang on Melinda, you always said I was at my best, or worse, when I tried to interact with the locals. This is going to get ugly.

I looked down and saw I was in this weird "white on white" thing going on, with my bald head, moustache,,,,,,,
And a couple of those formaldahyde Skylab drinks in me, well, it just came out.

"Ach du Leiber I saw!" "Es dir?"

"Ashlu,,,, "He gets schis,,,, beaten out of him. He deserves it."

At about this point, I have used up any apropriable german that I can think of, and I glance at Diane, no, that didn't help, she's just standing there with her arms crossed and this bemused smirk on her face.

Crap

Now what?

"This just "veddy veddy bad man."

I no sooner got the words out, when I hear Diane choke, and turn around. Then I realized I sounded just like "Baboo", in the last Seinfeld episode.

Blonde witch is crying now, Big Dork is just standing there being a Big Dork. And redshirt jerk is still bleeding and trying to maintain consciousness.
And I am doin all I can to keep from busting out laughing.

In between snuff, snupps and he he, he,,,,, I just walked over by the "pounder guy" , and said I think he was just defending his wife, the 3 stooges were troulbel from the moment we got there.

Sorry, we're late, have to go.
Guten Abend.

We barely got down to the boat dock, at least out of sight, and we had to stop and sit down, from laughing so hard.

"What the HecK is wrong with you?" "What was that all about?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to be dragged down to a police station as a reliable witness."

"Ach du Lieber" indeed!"

I knew it was coming, so I just waited for it.
It came.

"You are veddy , veddy bad man."

And we cracked up again.

As we sat there still waiting for a boat to pull up, I finally got a chance to inform her of all she missed in the bathroom.

"The strangest thing," I told her, " was redshirt jerk saw the guy coming, and I had a feeling it wasn't going to be about an Amway Pitch, and I saw him going through his pockets again."

"I wasn't sure if he was going to pull out a knife, or a gun, whatever."
"So, what does he pull out? Cigarettes."

"Yeah, I think he knew he was about to get his keister kicked, and thought his best defense would be to try and breathe as much second hand smoke in his face as possible."

And that set us off again.

The boat pulled up, and as we headed into the bow in front of the captain and the "wheelhouse", I stopped her from doing the "I"m king of the world" thing , standing on the front railing of the bow. Yes, she had her own species of formaldahyde.
And I"m done for tonight.
"Dat's IT! "Duetchland Uber Allus",,,,,,,,,,
hope you didn't mind my "off topic", next chapter we will finish up here with a plethora of pictures, a potpourri of photos, a cornucopia of copies, a smorgasbord of ,,,,,,,, ok, I'll shut up, hope you liked the reading,

 

[Goofyfan1]

 

[jcc0621]

Double

Wie namen Sie? Ich name Janet.....That's about all the German i know after four years of college......That how how to order beer. Ein bier!

 

[HaleyB]

Dude.
You took a mortar in the chest.
Ouch.

You should see the crazy carp people do around these here parts.
This is Texas. You can blow anything you want up on the 4th.

Heck, you can explode things at will anytime before 11pm. 365 days a year. Selling fireworks is limited to a few weeks a year but blowing them up any old time is fair game.

We attach the mortar tubes to the plywood, and reenforce them with duck tape (what else) but we still have small mishaps sometimes. Some things we have learned since we moved to Texas:

Giving young children Roman Candles is not always a good idea.

Multishot mortars that misfire, and land under Grammy's chair. Not as funny as you would think.

A bottle rocket gone astray can dent a garage door. And a car door. depending on what it hits first.

Getting hit with a spent mortar shell hurts more if you do not have a shirt on.

Bare feet, bad idea.

Just buy the margarita machine, renting one every year is a waste of money.

 

[luvhockey]

It just follows you doesn't it?!
I'm sure you realize how lucky you are.
It brought to mind -- during a hockey game --Chris Pronger took a slapshot to the heart, took two steps and fell face first into the ice. It had stopped his heart.
I read about a little leaguer that got hit by a line drive and the same thing happened.

You saved Smidgy. A hero.
Angela

 

[Backstage_Gal]

YAY,a Nebo update!!!!!!!

Thanks I needed that, been in the dumps here.
Who called the Nebo/fireworks accident scenario? Lexi? OH no, Winkers.

Well, she was right on, just a few years off

"Ach du Leiber I saw!" "Es dir?"

Oh you bodies I saw! "It you?"

Come see me for some German lessons, mein LIEBER!

At least it worked for you in the situation, all that counts, right?

Great update and keep those extra stories coming too. Stay safe!

 

[Disney 4-ever]

Great installment. Thank God you and family were ok, otherwise we might not be reading about these wonderful installments about your life.
Connie

 

[lexmelinda]

This one turned into the "Grand Phoenix" , Nebo seeking missile.

Shocker!

Sorry, when I digress, I do it big time.

It's OK...we're here for the funny....Disney or otherwise.

I looked down and saw I was in this weird "white on white" thing going on, with my bald head, moustache,,,,,,,

From Mr. Clean to German tourist? I guess it worked!

"Ach du Leiber I saw!" "Es dir?"

"Ashlu,,,, "He gets schis,,,, beaten out of him. He deserves it."

I tried to google translate this and either it's spelled wrong or you just weren't making any German words. Did this make any sense at all, Marita?

"This just "veddy veddy bad man."

Ran out of the bad German? This is classic!

"You are veddy , veddy bad man."

Good one, Diane! I bet you're still using this one on occasion. I know I would!

next chapter we will finish up here with a plethora of pictures, a potpourri of photos, a cornucopia of copies, a smorgasbord of ,,,,,,,, ok, I'll shut up, hope you liked the reading,

Can't wait! (DD says nice alliterations, nebo!)

 

[tattoe61]

Hey Neebs

think I was there that year at ole Kurtis low's house. Yep I remember some guy trying to ..STOP...DROP...AND ROLL.

that was better than reading the sunday comics. thanks nebo.

 

[mmeb144]

Some things we have learned since we moved to Texas:

Giving young children Roman Candles is not always a good idea.

Multishot mortars that misfire, and land under Grammy's chair. Not as funny as you would think.

A bottle rocket gone astray can dent a garage door. And a car door. depending on what it hits first.

Getting hit with a spent mortar shell hurts more if you do not have a shirt on.

Bare feet, bad idea.

Just buy the margarita machine, renting one every year is a waste of money.

 

[dance2874]

Originally Posted by HaleyB
Some things we have learned since we moved to Texas:

Giving young children Roman Candles is not always a good idea.

Multishot mortars that misfire, and land under Grammy's chair. Not as funny as you would think.

A bottle rocket gone astray can dent a garage door. And a car door. depending on what it hits first.

Getting hit with a spent mortar shell hurts more if you do not have a shirt on.

Bare feet, bad idea.

Just buy the margarita machine, renting one every year is a waste of money.

This was only our second 4th of July in TX and you are right on the money! I love all the 'fireworks are illegal' signs all over town and yet we saw more fireworks from our neighbors tan a legal display up the road! Just an accident waiting to happen.

Great update Nebo!

 

[winkers]

Oh where to start!!!!

I can't do the fancy multi quote of the same quote thingy that Melinda does so I have to rely on my memory.......................

First I laughed because you moved Diane back and then went and sat upfront yourself. Then you relized the error of your ways and moved back. Ok, and taking the mortar to your chest................ouch!!!!


I wish I could have been there to help you out with your german! I could have sang a song, or counted, swore or a myriad of other random german words.

I'm surprised you made it all the way to a bench before you fell over laughing! You two should have your own reality show. I'd watch it!

 

[nebo]

Ok, Goofyfan1, I'll see your, and I'll raise you,
Call.

Double

Wie namen Sie? Ich name Janet.....That's about all the German i know after four years of college......That how how to order beer. Ein bier!

Hey! I speak whalegerman! Budddddddddddddddddooooooooooooooldstyllllleee

Dude.
You took a mortar in the chest.
Ouch.

You should see the crazy carp people do around these here parts.
This is Texas. You can blow anything you want up on the 4th.

Heck, you can explode things at will anytime before 11pm. 365 days a year. Selling fireworks is limited to a few weeks a year but blowing them up any old time is fair game.

We attach the mortar tubes to the plywood, and reenforce them with duck tape (what else) but we still have small mishaps sometimes. Some things we have learned since we moved to Texas:

Giving young children Roman Candles is not always a good idea.

Multishot mortars that misfire, and land under Grammy's chair. Not as funny as you would think.

A bottle rocket gone astray can dent a garage door. And a car door. depending on what it hits first.

Getting hit with a spent mortar shell hurts more if you do not have a shirt on.

Bare feet, bad idea.

Haley B, that was outstanding! I love when I can read my own trip report and laught my keister off. Thanks.

It just follows you doesn't it?!
I'm sure you realize how lucky you are.
It brought to mind -- during a hockey game --Chris Pronger took a slapshot to the heart, took two steps and fell face first into the ice. It had stopped his heart.
I read about a little leaguer that got hit by a line drive and the same thing happened.

You saved Smidgy. A hero.
Angela

Yes Angela, it does seem to follow me. I think it always has. I still have dreams about standing in a barn, and being milked, and something to do with a lantern that got knocked over that I swear, I didn't do it.

YAY,a Nebo update!!!!!!!

Thanks I needed that, been in the dumps here.
Who called the Nebo/fireworks accident scenario? Lexi? OH no, Winkers.

Well, she was right on, just a few years off



Oh you bodies I saw! "It you?"

Come see me for some German lessons, mein LIEBER!

At least it worked for you in the situation, all that counts, right?

Great update and keep those extra stories coming too. Stay safe!

The funniest part of your whole post is the "stay safe" part.
Boy, if I knew how to do that!,,,,,,,,,,
Yes Marita, I took two semesters of german in high school, cuz my family insisted I do that. Oh no, not something useful like Spanish.
And then?,,,,,,,,,,,,,
They all up and died on me.
And left me with a bunch of words I can no longer use.
Ok, that probably didn't come out quite in a good sounding way, but, it's basically the facts. Hey, in the south people can just "up and die" , well,they can from Germany also.

Great installment. Thank God you and family were ok, otherwise we might not be reading about these wonderful installments about your life.
Connie

Hi Connie, wait, hold it. Life? You mean this is my life? It really counts?
I thought this was the "practice" shot, you know, when everybody else is still putting on their bowling shoes?
Nope, I'm calling a Mulligan.

Hey Neebs

think I was there that year at ole Kurtis low's house. Yep I remember some guy trying to ..STOP...DROP...AND ROLL.

that was better than reading the sunday comics. thanks nebo.

Hi, not Dawn. (she's uncomfortable with using her name on the web).
And ,, yes, I do recall you being there at that wonderful fireworks party that night. What you left out was after you yelled, STOP...DROP...AND ROLL., You failed to mention that the next line was " Oh, it's only Nebo,
never mind."

Shocker!
It's OK...we're here for the funny....Disney or otherwise.
From Mr. Clean to German tourist? I guess it worked!
I tried to google translate this and either it's spelled wrong or you just weren't making any German words. Did this make any sense at all, Marita?
Ran out of the bad German? This is classic!
Good one, Diane! I bet you're still using this one on occasion. I know I would!
Can't wait! (DD says nice alliterations, nebo!)

Hi melinda, well, I did stop typing those words in the middle. However, the middle of my mind and the middle of how they are actually spelled,,,,,,,,,,, could be worlds apart. I just heard them a lot when I was young, never got a chance to actually have to put them down in words.
I did get the picture that the first word was similiar to the "donkey ' word, and of course , the second one pertains to feces.

Now, this probably doesn't sound like a great way to grow up, but iit beats the alternative.\
My dad when he came home from work;
"You won't believe what that donkey's rectom said to me today."
"I told him he was full of defecation."
Yep, that would have been scarier then the German.

Oh where to start!!!!

I can't do the fancy multi quote of the same quote thingy that Melinda does so I have to rely on my memory.......................

First I laughed because you moved Diane back and then went and sat upfront yourself. Then you relized the error of your ways and moved back. Ok, and taking the mortar to your chest................ouch!!!!


I wish I could have been there to help you out with your german! I could have sang a song, or counted, swore or a myriad of other random german words.

I'm surprised you made it all the way to a bench before you fell over laughing! You two should have your own reality show. I'd watch it!

Cheri?!!!
You are a riot!
Your just like me, have this useless bunch of words that can't really be used anymore. Not with the little bit that we know. We should all go see Marita.
Ready? ah one, ah two,,,,,,,,
Du, du. liegst mir en heirzen , du, du. ,,,,,,,,,,,,

Guten nacht frauliens, we shall be back tomorrow.

 

[mikamah]

Nebo, I have missed your awesome trip report. I had about 10 pages to catch up on and loved them all. I can't just skim and read your posts, gotta read everyone elses too. Quite a fun following you have.

So glad you weren't injured in the bar brawl. A miracle really. I couldn't believe that guy called him an rectum. (duh, I'm a little slow) Having a little problem with my son saying sh--. Proudly, I have noone to blame but myself. Trying to get him to say sugar-booger, or fiddlesticks, but he does like Holy sh-- better. This is my forth day without TV as his punishment, which takes away from my computer time. Maybe I'll teach him scrote.

I cringed when you took the mortar to your chest. Those illegal fireworks didn't seem so dangerous 25 years ago, but I cringe when I hear them going off now.

Loved your german. You are so quickwitted and funny. Keep it up.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Hi melinda, well, I did stop typing those words in the middle. However, the middle of my mind and the middle of how they are actually spelled,,,,,,,,,,, could be worlds apart. I just heard them a lot when I was young, never got a chance to actually have to put them down in words.
I did get the picture that the first word was similiar to the "donkey ' word, and of course , the second one pertains to feces.

Now, this probably doesn't sound like a great way to grow up, but iit beats the alternative.\
My dad when he came home from work;
"You won't believe what that donkey's rectom said to me today."
"I told him he was full of defecation."
Yep, that would have been scarier then the German.

Well, Nebo, it's not technically a DONKEY's rectom.
PM me for translation..........

Thanks, I needed this tonight!

 

[TigerTown]

Great update Nebo...We were in a similar situation this fourth. We had a great time but man was is scary. Luckily nothing bad happened. Between my buddies house and the guy across the street from him, you would of thought that it was a full on city fireworks show.

 

[smidgy]

du, du leigst mer im zim; veist nicht der guetre, der bin.. YAH YAH YAH YAH!!!(sung VERY loudly by my great- uncles Hans and Emil, swaying their beer mugs) ok that's all I remember, can't spell it (achh! did I admit I can't spell something? no I didn't, I'll deny it) oh, that and:
EIN PROSIT! eins... vie ...drie ...suofa! (I always wondered why they were toasting the sofa! ) My grandpa (the lutheran minister) was right there with them. (hey, minister or not, Germans love their beer; he drank Prima beer, came in quarts.)
BTW, Nebo was truly my hero that 4th of july (actually, I think he was just trying to save our son, Jeremy, but, whatever!) just kidding honey. heh heh

 

[smidgy]

this is really for lexie's sake (just fodder for her amusement).
I"m sure I've mentioned this previously, BUT:... I'm dying up here in the loft by the computer!!!! it was in the 90's in the Chitown (chgo) area today and we have no AIR CONDITIONING!!! (ok, I'll admit, everytime we decide to buy it, a trip to disney sounds SO much better!)
whew! glad I got THAT off my chest! (think... Dory)

 

[Backstage_Gal]

du, du leigst mer im zim; veist nicht der guetre, der bin.. YAH YAH YAH YAH!!!(sung VERY loudly by my great- uncles Hans and Emil, swaying their beer mugs) ok that's all I remember, can't spell it (achh! did I admit I can't spell something? no I didn't, I'll deny it) oh, that and:
EIN PROSIT! eins... vie ...drie ...suofa! (I always wondered why they were toasting the sofa! ) My grandpa (the lutheran minister) was right there with them. (hey, minister or not, Germans love their beer; he drank Prima beer, came in quarts.)
BTW, Nebo was truly my hero that 4th of july (actually, I think he was just trying to save our son, Jeremy, but, whatever!) just kidding honey. heh heh

Hey, Smidgy, might I offer some translation for:
"Du, Du, liegst mir im herzen? Du, du liegst mir im sinn, weisst nicht wie gut ich dir bin."?

You, you are in my heart, You , You, are on my mind, you dont know how sweet I am on you.

And for the other one, the PROSIT SONG:
it goes, Ein Prosit, ein prosit, der gemuetlichkeit ( a toast to coaziness, feeling comfortable with friends) too lazy to look up the exact translation.

And eins, zwei, SUFFA means One, Two, Drink up, LOL, chug it!!!

That is my contribution to world peace and understanding tonight.