still confused!

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

So, I will probably be known as the bride who doesnt stop worryin...and its terrible because I wish I could stop!

Im looking at what everyone who has already gotten married in WDW has had and I am in a panic that its way over my budget!
(we only have a max of 40 guests)
We want the ceremony in wp
a reception in yc (somewhere)
and a dessert party for illuminations

then the questions start "what time do i have the reception? What time do i have the wedding? Will the photographer take enough pictures for the wedding and reception? What do i do between the reception and the wedding? do I have a breakfast buffet and have a early morning wedding? or wait till later on? but then if i do that will i have enough time to get the guests at epcot for the illuminations dessert party? do i wait to have the dessert party the next day? do i have it as the rehearsal? How much does it run?"

as you can see... i can probbaly keep going.. so I am asking... what did you guys do to calm your nerves? Are my worries normal?

 

[lurkyloo]

I calmed my nerves by doing TONS of research on this board and posting my questions!

As you learn more about the process and your options, things will start to make sense to you and fall into place. Reading trip reports helps a lot too, because then you see "Oh, OK, I could do it the way they did" or "I don't think I'd want to do it the way they did - what are my alternatives?"

Personally, I highly recommend morning weddings with brunch buffets and a break before Illuminations. It's cheaper, it's less rushed, you really have time to appreciate each event of the day, and when the reception's over, you know you still have the dessert party to look forward to - after your nap!

 

[sungela]

Totally normal! I mean, no fun, but very typical. And the questions will only get worse as you get closer and have more details to consider...

Just remember, though, that you have a wedding planner to deal with a lot of the decisions, and the more you let him/her do, the less you have to worry about. For me, the best way to worry less is to make a list of everything and just start checking off stuff. I usually send my WP a list of ten questions or so, and she's been great about getting back to me with answers. Your planner can advise you about timing and food and all of that, especially if you have some idea about what you want. Just think about what kinds of things you like at weddings, or imagine that you would like, and go from there. And relax--we're all here to help!

 

[sungela]

And I second Carrie on a morning wedding--ours is at 10. This way, we can eat yummy brunch food, which is cheaper than dinner, and have plenty of time to relax and enjoy our wedding day. Many brides say that they are so exhausted after their night weddings that they fall straight to sleep afterward.

 

[lov2b@disney]

At each step you will probably worry a little! But you will also be calm after each part is finalized!

Since you want the wp- check what times you can have it and go from there-
We are doing an early wedding(because we have too with the ceremony being in epcot) I am glad we will have a little breathing time before Illuminations and it makes it an all day affair!

Minimums are cheaper before 2p For YC $75pp before 2p $100pp after- so if cost is an issue it might be cheaper to do it earlier!

Just a couple of thoughts! Everything will fall into place!

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

thank you thank you. I had worried about a early wedding because a "traditional" wedding could never be like that. I keep forgetting that this is a DISNEY wedding and...anything can happen...

The brunch sounds so nice though. And how does that reception happen? After brunch where does everyone go? Do we all meet back up for the dessert party?
I was thinking of letting df figure all those things out.... lol

 

[lov2b@disney]

thank you thank you. I had worried about a early wedding because a "traditional" wedding could never be like that. I keep forgetting that this is a DISNEY wedding and...anything can happen...

The brunch sounds so nice though. And how does that reception happen? After brunch where does everyone go? Do we all meet back up for the dessert party?
I was thinking of letting df figure all those things out.... lol

Our reception ends at 2:30, everyone is dropped back at there hotels to change, relax whatever then we are meeting everyone at the International Gateway to go to the DP at 8:15.

 

[lurkyloo]

The brunch sounds so nice though. And how does that reception happen? After brunch where does everyone go? Do we all meet back up for the dessert party?
I was thinking of letting df figure all those things out.... lol

After brunch some of our guests went back to their hotels and some went to the parks. We went back to our hotel to take a nap, but we ended up spending 2 hours breathlessly comparing notes and sharing our excitement about the wedding. It was a wonderful time to spend together.

Then we had room service dinner before we met our guests at Epcot for the dessert party.

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

After brunch some of our guests went back to their hotels and some went to the parks. We went back to our hotel to take a nap, but we ended up spending 2 hours breathlessly comparing notes and sharing our excitement about the wedding. It was a wonderful time to spend together.

Then we had room service dinner before we met our guests at Epcot for the dessert party.

Did the guests seem to be bothered by that? Or did they enjoy being able to relax? I only ask because I am a NYer and my df family is used to entertainment (he and i on the other hand...would have perfered the 18 person escape wedidng...which we are still crossing our fingers can happen haha...but shhh)

But..did anyone seem bothered that they then had to come back for you? I know it sounds off the wall...its just something i worry about lol

also....did you have the photographer wait till the illuminations dessert party as well?

 

[sungela]

Our wedding isn't for another two months, but I can tell you that most people are happy it's a morning wedding. We're not inviting everyone to the Dessert Party, so some people are flying home that afternoon (we have a lot of workaholic guests) so they can be at the office on Monday morning. The special DP invitees are very excited to see fireworks, and I think most of them are happy to explore the parks on their own. Disney has sooo much to do, and if you're that worried, you could always put together a list of your favorite things to do in the Wide World of Disney (mini golf, Disney Quest, you name it).

 

[lurkyloo]

But..did anyone seem bothered that they then had to come back for you? I know it sounds off the wall...its just something i worry about lol

also....did you have the photographer wait till the illuminations dessert party as well?

Well, I may be totally oblivious to what they really thought, but everyone at our DP seemed really excited to be there. I think they, too, saw it as something to look forward to (maybe even more than the wedding!)rather than yet another obligation - and I was really sensitive about not burdening them with too many activities. That's another reason we didn't plan any pre-wedding events like a rehearsal dinner. So they had all weekend to themselves and only had to do wedding-y things on the wedding day.

Our photographers live close to WDW, so they went home after the reception and came back just for the dessert party. We were only charged for the one hour of the DP.

 

[cseca]

Did the guests seem to be bothered by that? Or did they enjoy being able to relax? I only ask because I am a NYer and my df family is used to entertainment (he and i on the other hand...would have perfered the 18 person escape wedidng...which we are still crossing our fingers can happen haha...but shhh)

But..did anyone seem bothered that they then had to come back for you? I know it sounds off the wall...its just something i worry about lol

also....did you have the photographer wait till the illuminations dessert party as well?

Hi Mrsdisneyb2b,
I think I'm in the minority when I say I do worry about what our guests will do...
Most of my family flew in from half around the world to come to our wedding and of course there are nieces and nephews to consider. I know that this is our day and we need to do it the way we want to but we consider what's best scheduling wise and we decided on doing it straight through.
Our wedding is at 4:30pm and it goes all the way until 10:30-ish for DP (no dancing, garter toss, etc. Just dinner and first dance ).
That way if part of my family wants to do a park in the morning they can do so. And they don't have to get ready until around 1pm (except for my sister who's my MOH).
Plus they don't have to worry about filling in a couple hours between the brunch/lunch and getting ready again for DP. To me it just made it a longer day for them.

Again, this is just my humble opinion...

I was really hoping to do brunch because I LOVE bfast food... but we don't think it would work for us because we want to do DP as well...

Good luck deciding on your timing and stuff...

 

[padisneyfour]

You really need to think about what you and dh want, because its your wedding.
no matter what you plan there may be someone unhappy(I don't understand how) figure out between the two of you what is most important and go from there. Do you want to get up early, do you think you would like a break between the reception and a DP( if thats an option) it really comes down to what you two want..... it may not be necessarily easy but together you will figure it out! good luck.... relax and take a deep breath

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

wow, all I can say is thank you. The support on these boards should charge me haha...you are my therapy!!
I think weve decided to do the morning thing to give the guests time to rest...

We were thinking actually of getting roots as well, so Iwill be sure to compliment them on the outrageous work done on yours lurkyloo!!!

-Jenny

 

[hope1826]

Cseca and I have almost identical wedding timing....

We have 42 guests, our ceremony (SBP) is starting at 5 pm, followed by a dinner and cake reception (the Attic) and finally a DP (Upper UK) until 10-10:30.

Like Lurkyloo, our BEO came in very close to our $10,000 minimum (only $300 over, before service charges and taxes).

We decided to have a later wedding for several reasons, but primarily because we are NOT morning people at all. And a morning ceremony equals waking up at 4 or 5 am or even earlier for some brides. If I did that I would be a zombie throughout my whole wedding. DF is the same way. We wouldn't be able to enjoy our own wedding day.

Having it later is allowing us to have brunch (separately) with BMs and GMs. After that, DF is going to golf while my 4 bridesmaids, my mom and I get our hair and makeup done.

As far as our guests go, this works better for them too. Half of our guests are families with young children (we have 8 children coming, most under the age of 4) and the other half are older than 65. So being out and about close to sunset is easier than morning and midday for them. Also several of our older guests said that if we split the day up they would not have the energy to attend both the morning ceremony and night time dessert party. And the families with young children, said that they don't want to have to wrangle their kids twice in one day for a formal event. We want our guests to still be dressed in semi-formal to formal attire for the dessert party.

This, of course, is specific to our group of guests. I think if our guests were mostly in their 20's to 50's this wouldn't be the case. But over half are toddlers and senior citizens. Also, more than 3/4 of our guests have decided to stay at non-Disney resorts and are not going to be going to the parks at all! So if we split the day up, it would be a burden for them to come back later for the DP.

hth
Nikki

 

[cseca]

Cseca and I have almost identical wedding timing....

We have 42 guests, our ceremony (SBP) is starting at 5 pm, followed by a dinner and cake reception (the Attic) and finally a DP (Upper UK) until 10-10:30.

Like Lurkyloo, our BEO came in very close to our $10,000 minimum (only $300 over, before service charges and taxes).

We decided to have a later wedding for several reasons, but primarily because we are NOT morning people at all. And a morning ceremony equals waking up at 4 or 5 am or even earlier for some brides. If I did that I would be a zombie throughout my whole wedding. DF is the same way. We wouldn't be able to enjoy our own wedding day.

Having it later is allowing us to have brunch (separately) with BMs and GMs. After that, DF is going to golf while my 4 bridesmaids, my mom and I get our hair and makeup done.

As far as our guests go, this works better for them too. Half of our guests are families with young children (we have 8 children coming, most under the age of 4) and the other half are older than 65. So being out and about close to sunset is easier than morning and midday for them. Also several of our older guests said that if we split the day up they would not have the energy to attend both the morning ceremony and night time dessert party. And the families with young children, said that they don't want to have to wrangle their kids twice in one day for a formal event. We want our guests to still be dressed in semi-formal to formal attire for the dessert party.

This, of course, is specific to our group of guests. I think if our guests were mostly in their 20's to 50's this wouldn't be the case. But over half are toddlers and senior citizens. Also, more than 3/4 of our guests have decided to stay at non-Disney resorts and are not going to be going to the parks at all! So if we split the day up, it would be a burden for them to come back later for the DP.

hth
Nikki

Wow Nikki,
Your wedding is REALLY similar to ours. We also have a wide range of ages... from 4 to over 80 y.o...

 

[lov2b@disney]

Wow Nikki,
Your wedding is REALLY similar to ours. We also have a wide range of ages... from 4 to over 80 y.o...

Us too! Youngest will be 8mo oldest 91!

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Ours is all youngins. Only the ring bearer is the only child and he will be 2 1/2 then... (oh no terrible twos)

When i told df about a brunch he flipped... he loves breakfast! So i think now i will be one of those 4am brides haha

 

[Puffpatty]

I agree with lurkyloo about the break in between. I'm planning to do a 10am @ WP with a reception at Citricos, then a DP at Isola. I think the break is exactly what everyone needs, especially those with little kids (we haven't sent out our invites yet, but we have over 20 lil ones who's parents we are inviting). I think everyone could use a nap before they go to grab some dinner and head out for fireworks. And since we are having our DFTW in Jan., it's going to be chilly at night, so I want people to have a chance to change and dress appropriately for the weather as well.

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

We think the same. We are morning people, not night people (We'll prob not want to go to our own dessert party haha...)

Thank you girls for all thehelp <3